Author Topic: amazing animal stories thread (post your own) (Read 237550 times)

_33 · « **Reply #350 on:** May 02, 2011, 11:50:28 AM »

The other day my wife asked me to kill a wasp that was over by the back door. So I took off one of my flip-flops and went over there and looked around but didn't see it. I told her it was gone and she went and looked and said it was still there, right in the corner. It was, and it turns out I was standing with my head like an inch away from it the whole time I was looking.

felix rex · « **Reply #351 on:** May 02, 2011, 11:59:14 AM »

that just sounds made up.

pissclams · « **Reply #352 on:** May 02, 2011, 12:03:30 PM »

i was walking to get dinner last night and took a shortcut through the forest. about halfway through the forest, i came across a polar bear. he was lost and looked sad. i took him by the paw and walked him to a shortcut that leads from the wold directly to the artic circle. fortunately for him i didn't take him to the shortcut i know in the forest that goes to antartica.

before he left on his way, he pulled out his flute and played me the most beautiful melody. his favorite dish is spaghetti and meatballs and i'm going to cook him some this weekend and send them to him. we are now friends.

steve dave · « **Reply #353 on:** May 02, 2011, 12:04:49 PM »

Quote from: pissclams on May 02, 2011, 12:03:30 PM

i was walking to get dinner last night and took a shortcut through the forest. about halfway through the forest, i came across a polar bear. he was lost and looked sad. i took him by the paw and walked him to a shortcut that leads from the wold directly to the artic circle. fortunately for him i didn't take him to the shortcut i know in the forest that goes to antartica.

before he left on his way, he pulled out his flute and played me the most beautiful melody. his favorite dish is spaghetti and meatballs and i'm going to cook him some this weekend and send them to him. we are now friends.

FAKE

Stevesie60 · « **Reply #354 on:** May 02, 2011, 12:06:28 PM »

Quote from: steve dave on May 02, 2011, 12:04:49 PM

Quote from: pissclams on May 02, 2011, 12:03:30 PM
i was walking to get dinner last night and took a shortcut through the forest. about halfway through the forest, i came across a polar bear. he was lost and looked sad. i took him by the paw and walked him to a shortcut that leads from the wold directly to the artic circle. fortunately for him i didn't take him to the shortcut i know in the forest that goes to antartica.

before he left on his way, he pulled out his flute and played me the most beautiful melody. his favorite dish is spaghetti and meatballs and i'm going to cook him some this weekend and send them to him. we are now friends.

FAKE

I don't know. Sounds like one of those stories that's so crazy it just might be true.....

Benja · « **Reply #355 on:** May 02, 2011, 12:06:39 PM »

might try to catch a bigger fish later this week

hemmy · « **Reply #356 on:** May 02, 2011, 12:07:04 PM »

If a bear walks 1 mile south, 1 mile east, and 1 mile north and ends up the same place it started what color is the bear?

pissclams · « **Reply #357 on:** May 02, 2011, 12:12:27 PM »

Quote from: Stevesie60 on May 02, 2011, 12:06:28 PM

Quote from: steve dave on May 02, 2011, 12:04:49 PM
Quote from: pissclams on May 02, 2011, 12:03:30 PM
i was walking to get dinner last night and took a shortcut through the forest. about halfway through the forest, i came across a polar bear. he was lost and looked sad. i took him by the paw and walked him to a shortcut that leads from the wold directly to the artic circle. fortunately for him i didn't take him to the shortcut i know in the forest that goes to antartica.

before he left on his way, he pulled out his flute and played me the most beautiful melody. his favorite dish is spaghetti and meatballs and i'm going to cook him some this weekend and send them to him. we are now friends.

FAKE

I don't know. Sounds like one of those stories that's so crazy it just might be true.....

hey guys, lets sit around and make up fake stories about finding polar bears lost in the woods when we're on our way to grab dinner!

CNS · « **Reply #358 on:** May 02, 2011, 12:14:49 PM »

Quote from: steve dave on May 02, 2011, 11:36:50 AM

Quote from: CNS Casey on May 02, 2011, 11:35:32 AM
Quote from: steve dave on May 02, 2011, 11:31:30 AM
my neighbors dog can get underneath their fence and comes to visit me like every day when I get the mail. we're basically best buds.

This sounds like horrible news for your sneaky rabbit.

I don't know, this dog is pretty small and non-vicious. the rabbit/squirrel combo could probably take him.

This sounds like horrible news for your best bud.

Trim · « **Reply #359 on:** May 02, 2011, 02:05:08 PM »

Quote from: Limestone on May 02, 2011, 11:10:25 AM

Going bear hunting in fall.

This better not conflict with the falconry convention.

jtksu · « **Reply #360 on:** May 02, 2011, 02:22:09 PM »

Seems like a natural combo pak to me?

HeinBallz · « **Reply #361 on:** May 02, 2011, 10:13:28 PM »

Quote from: hemmy on May 02, 2011, 12:07:04 PM

If a bear walks 1 mile south, 1 mile east, and 1 mile north and ends up the same place it started what color is the bear?

A dirty lie'n jew?

Booze_Cat · « **Reply #362 on:** May 02, 2011, 11:24:25 PM »

I used to shoot crows with my air rifle and used to hang them from my bad person neighbors house with fishing string so they looked like mumped up wind chimes... I miss college...

jtksu · « **Reply #363 on:** May 02, 2011, 11:37:16 PM »

Once saw a certain former BA DL hang a cat from a roof. Apparently the dude doesn't care for cats.

steve dave · « **Reply #364 on:** May 03, 2011, 07:57:30 AM »

Quote from: jtksu on May 02, 2011, 11:37:16 PM

Once saw a certain former BA DL hang a cat from a roof. Apparently the dude doesn't care for cats.

that dumbass better pray to the god of mumped up losers that he doesn't cross paths with me because I will rough ridin' end him

The1BigWillie · « **Reply #365 on:** May 03, 2011, 09:13:25 AM »

My old man has fabricated wire mesh screens around some sunflowers and bean vines that he has around his covered deck. They sheild the sun in the summer and create a nice little canopy. The chipmunks and rabbits really mess with them so he's hooked these mesh screens up to an electric fence current. He is now baiting them with nuts to test the screens and plans on placing one of his trail cams or a small video camera to record the mayhem. I may have youtube video at some point.

_33 · « **Reply #366 on:** May 03, 2011, 09:15:26 AM »

Quote from: The1BigWillie on May 03, 2011, 09:13:25 AM

My old man has fabricated wire mesh screens around some sunflowers and bean vines that he has around his covered deck. They sheild the sun in the summer and create a nice little canopy. The chipmunks and rabbits really mess with them so he's hooked these mesh screens up to an electric fence current. He is now baiting them with nuts to test the screens and plans on placing one of his trail cams or a small video camera to record the mayhem. I may have youtube video at some point.

steve dave · « **Reply #367 on:** May 03, 2011, 09:18:10 AM »

Quote from: The1BigWillie on May 03, 2011, 09:13:25 AM

My old man has fabricated wire mesh screens around some sunflowers and bean vines that he has around his covered deck. They sheild the sun in the summer and create a nice little canopy. The chipmunks and rabbits really mess with them so he's hooked these mesh screens up to an electric fence current. He is now baiting them with nuts to test the screens and plans on placing one of his trail cams or a small video camera to record the mayhem. I may have youtube video at some point.

add 1BW's dad to the list of mumped up weirdos who better hope they don't cross paths with steve dave