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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 10:17:56 PM

Title: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 10:17:56 PM
You tell me a joke, I tell you if it is funny using a unique scale I've been crafting.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 01, 2014, 10:18:47 PM
Format?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 10:19:34 PM
Format?

Zero Tacos.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: EMAWmeister on June 01, 2014, 10:19:53 PM
Ku football OMG AM I RITE GUYS!?!?!!!  :lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on June 01, 2014, 10:20:05 PM
Three tomatoes are walking down the street papa tomato, mama tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Papa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, "Catch up"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: j-dub on June 01, 2014, 10:20:15 PM
Format?

Zero Tacos.

lol
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: j-dub on June 01, 2014, 10:21:07 PM
you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot babe.......lost my train of thought
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 01, 2014, 10:22:22 PM
This thread.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 10:25:40 PM
Ku football OMG AM I RITE GUYS!?!?!!!  :lol: :lol: :lol:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 10:26:03 PM
Three tomatoes are walking down the street papa tomato, mama tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Papa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, "Catch up"

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 10:26:36 PM
This thread.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 10:27:07 PM
you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot babe.......lost my train of thought

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: ksupamplemousse on June 01, 2014, 10:30:39 PM
It's hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac because they always take things literally.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: j-dub on June 01, 2014, 10:31:09 PM
you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot babe.......lost my train of thought

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

you jerk
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 10:34:08 PM
It's hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac because they always take things literally.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 01, 2014, 10:38:49 PM
Have you heard about the new pirate movie?.......... It’s rated AARRRRGGH
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: AST on June 01, 2014, 10:44:40 PM
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 01, 2014, 10:47:08 PM
Knock knock
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: michigancat on June 01, 2014, 10:53:51 PM
does anyone else smell updog?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 11:37:42 PM
Have you heard about the new pirate movie?.......... It’s rated AARRRRGGH

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 11:38:19 PM
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 11:38:59 PM
Knock knock

Zero tacos
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 11:39:21 PM
does anyone else smell updog?

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 01, 2014, 11:39:31 PM
So I got 5 total tacos first, I win, right?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 11:39:59 PM
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar
so Phil Connors walks into a bar

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Oh I just got it.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 11:41:03 PM
So I got 5 total tacos first, I win, right?

No way. The 5 taco bonanza has to be won on a single joke. It will be like the pleasure dome in here when someone gets a 5 taco rating.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: DQ12 on June 01, 2014, 11:44:14 PM
Here's a family friendly joke.

Sherlock and Watson went camping in the desert.  After they built their campsite and set up their tent, night came and the two went to sleep.  In the middle of the night, Sherlock shoved and awoke Watson, who was snoring.  As the two were laying there, Sherlock said "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."  Watson responded "I see a countless number of stars."  Sherlock said "And, my dear friend Watson, what do you deduce from this?"  Watson thought for a moment before answering "Well, if we can see this multitude of stars from earth, and the universe is far greater than what we even see, then it is likely that some star somewhere contains life.  Is that the answer you were looking for, Sherlock?"

Sherlock sat up and looked at Watson and muttered, "No, you idiot.  It means someone stole our tent."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 01, 2014, 11:46:57 PM
Do you like fishsticks?


Yeah.


Do you like putting fish sticks in your mouth?


Yeah.


What are you, a gay fish?


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 11:47:20 PM
Here's a family friendly joke.

Sherlock and Watson went camping in the desert.  After they built their campsite and set up their tent, night came and the two went to sleep.  In the middle of the night, Sherlock shoved and awoke Watson, who was snoring.  As the two were laying there, Sherlock said "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."  Watson responded "I see a countless number of stars."  Sherlock said "And, my dear friend Watson, what do you deduce from this?"  Watson thought for a moment before answering "Well, if we can see this multitude of stars from earth, and the universe is far greater than what we even see, then it is likely that some star somewhere contains life.  Is that the answer you were looking for, Sherlock?"

Sherlock sat up and looked at Watson and muttered, "No, you idiot.  It means someone stole our tent."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 11:48:19 PM
Do you like fishsticks?


Yeah.


Do you like putting fish sticks in your mouth?


Yeah.


What are you, a gay fish?


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 01, 2014, 11:49:37 PM
:don'tcare:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 01, 2014, 11:51:22 PM
:don'tcare:

zero tacos
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on June 02, 2014, 12:14:48 AM
Why are there no "knock knock" jokes about America?

Because freedom always rings.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: DQ12 on June 02, 2014, 12:18:57 AM
A nun, a black guy, and a muslim walk into a bar. 

The bartender sits back and smiles, appreciating how lucky he is to live in such a diverse city.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 02, 2014, 12:24:43 AM
the last 2  :thumbs:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: HerrSonntag on June 02, 2014, 12:28:53 AM
Cashing in on the gastro-gourmet trends of high end restaurants in the area, some chemistry grad students decide to open up their own restaurant.  On their first day, two business men sit down for lunch.  Laughing about the novelty of the place, the first orders an H2O when asked what he'd like to drink.  The second man says he'd like an H20 too.  The restaurant was shut down before dinner.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Matt Siebrant's Left Hand on June 02, 2014, 02:07:41 AM
What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of a coke fall off an apartment building.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 8manpick on June 02, 2014, 08:05:08 AM
A man is hiking alone in the mountains when he sees a little girl crying near the edge of a steep cliff.  He says to the little girl "what's wrong, why are you so upset?"

She responds, "my older brother tripped and fell off this cliff, and my parents fell off trying to catch him. Now I'm all alone in these woods and I'm scared"

The man unzips his pants and says, "today just isn't your day sweetie."

The girl screams, "KATDADDY, NOOOOOOOOO!"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bloodfart on June 02, 2014, 08:11:15 AM
How to catch a polar bear: 

Step#1.  Cut a hole in the ice
Step#2.  Spread peas around the hole

When the bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.  :D
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on June 02, 2014, 08:14:12 AM
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interupting cow.

Interupting cow w-

MOOO!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 02, 2014, 08:14:42 AM
what do you call a nun in a wheelchair?









































virgin mobile

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on June 02, 2014, 08:16:00 AM
What did Geronimo say when he jumped off the cliff?













Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: TownieCat on June 02, 2014, 08:47:56 AM
@EllRobersonIsInnocent's face.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:28:24 PM
Why are there no "knock knock" jokes about America?

Because freedom always rings.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:29:05 PM
A nun, a black guy, and a muslim walk into a bar. 

The bartender sits back and smiles, appreciating how lucky he is to live in such a diverse city.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:30:35 PM
Cashing in on the gastro-gourmet trends of high end restaurants in the area, some chemistry grad students decide to open up their own restaurant.  On their first day, two business men sit down for lunch.  Laughing about the novelty of the place, the first orders an H2O when asked what he'd like to drink.  The second man says he'd like an H20 too.  The restaurant was shut down before dinner.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:31:12 PM
What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of a coke fall off an apartment building.

zero tacos. this is a family blog.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:31:59 PM
A man is hiking alone in the mountains when he sees a little girl crying near the edge of a steep cliff.  He says to the little girl "what's wrong, why are you so upset?"

She responds, "my older brother tripped and fell off this cliff, and my parents fell off trying to catch him. Now I'm all alone in these woods and I'm scared"

The man unzips his pants and says, "today just isn't your day sweetie."

The girl screams, "KATDADDY, NOOOOOOOOO!"

zero tacos
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:32:40 PM
How to catch a polar bear: 

Step#1.  Cut a hole in the ice
Step#2.  Spread peas around the hole

When the bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.  :D

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:33:09 PM
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interupting cow.

Interupting cow w-

MOOO!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:33:53 PM
what do you call a nun in a wheelchair?









































virgin mobile

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:34:25 PM
What did Geronimo say when he jumped off the cliff?













Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:34:59 PM
@EllRobersonIsInnocent's face.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Emo EMAW on June 02, 2014, 02:35:20 PM
Cashing in on the gastro-gourmet trends of high end restaurants in the area, some chemistry grad students decide to open up their own restaurant.  On their first day, two business men sit down for lunch.  Laughing about the novelty of the place, the first orders an H2O when asked what he'd like to drink.  The second man says he'd like an H20 too.  The restaurant was shut down before dinner.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

This is actually a great joke he just screwed up the delivery.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 02, 2014, 02:35:39 PM
what do you call a fat psychic?


a four chin teller!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:36:58 PM
what do you call a fat psychic?


a four chin teller!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The1BigWillie on June 02, 2014, 02:37:13 PM
An old man takes his sick wife to the doctor. After the examination the doctor pulls the man aside... "Sir... your wife either has AIDS or Alzheimer's but we can't figure out which."  Horrified the man asks... "Doc, what are we going do do?"  The doctor looks at the wife, looks back at the man and says...  "Take her home and make her get out of the car half way there.  If she shows up at the door, don't eff her."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:40:12 PM
An old man takes his sick wife to the doctor. After the examination the doctor pulls the man aside... "Sir... your wife either has AIDS or Alzheimer's but we can't figure out which."  Horrified the man asks... "Doc, what are we going do do?"  The doctor looks at the wife, looks back at the man and says...  "Take her home and make her get out of the car half way there.  If she shows up at the door, don't eff her."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 02, 2014, 02:40:32 PM
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Fred?"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 02, 2014, 02:41:29 PM
what do you call a window that raps?

2PANEZ!!!!!!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: steve dave on June 02, 2014, 02:41:48 PM
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeño business.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The1BigWillie on June 02, 2014, 02:43:27 PM
Why doesn't a chicken coop have 4 doors??


Because then it would be a chicken sedan.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 02, 2014, 02:43:44 PM
did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store?

it was quite the oar deal!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 02, 2014, 02:44:21 PM
what do you call seagulls in san fransisco?

bagels.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:44:53 PM
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeño business.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b) + 1 bonus (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b) because its in the mexican food genre.

what do you call a window that raps?


2PANEZ!!!!!!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Fred?"

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Why doesn't a chicken coop have 4 doors??


Because then it would be a chicken sedan.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store?

it was quite the oar deal!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)


what do you call seagulls in san fransisco?

bagels.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The1BigWillie on June 02, 2014, 02:45:39 PM
An Eskimo dropped off his snowmobile at the mechanic and went across the street to get a fish sandwich at McDonalds.  Upon his return the mechanic says... "Well, it looks like you've blown a seal."  The Eskimo wipes his mouth and says... "No, that's probably tartar sauce."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:46:51 PM
An Eskimo dropped off his snowmobile at the mechanic and went across the street to get a fish sandwich at McDonalds.  Upon his return the mechanic says... "Well, it looks like you've blown a seal."  The Eskimo wipes his mouth and says... "No, that's probably tartar sauce."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: CHONGS on June 02, 2014, 02:49:30 PM
What has two thumbs and likes ice cream?
This guy!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The1BigWillie on June 02, 2014, 02:49:43 PM
An Eskimo dropped off his snowmobile at the mechanic and went across the street to get a chicken burrito at Chipotle.  Upon his return the mechanic says... "Well, it looks like you've blown a seal."  The Eskimo wipes his mouth and says... "No, that's probably sour cream."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

EDITED!!!! Please review.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:50:10 PM
What has two thumbs and likes ice cream?
This guy!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 02, 2014, 02:50:37 PM
An Eskimo dropped off his snowmobile at the mechanic and went across the street to get a chicken burrito at Chipotle.  Upon his return the mechanic says... "Well, it looks like you've blown a seal."  The Eskimo wipes his mouth and says... "No, that's probably sour cream."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

EDITED!!!! Please review.

1 bonus (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 02, 2014, 02:52:40 PM
What did the Mexican say when his house fell over on him?

Get off me homes!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: CHONGS on June 02, 2014, 02:52:56 PM
A MacBook Pro, a Galaxy Note, an iPad all walk into a karaoke bar.  They all dance to "U Can't Touch This" while Jim from IT raps, but only the  MacBook Pro knows how he really feels.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 02, 2014, 02:54:25 PM
Some sort of a pun involving fruit talking to each other
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: CHONGS on June 02, 2014, 02:54:44 PM
I once a slice of apple pie with a slice of cheddar cheese on it, and for dessert I had hamburger à la Mode.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: CHONGS on June 02, 2014, 02:56:33 PM
I was really thirsty one day and when I got a cold glass of ice water I was like, this is some solid H2OHYESTHISISGOOD.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mocat on June 02, 2014, 02:57:02 PM
"if you talk about batting averages you must be from 1908"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 02, 2014, 02:57:08 PM
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on June 02, 2014, 02:57:16 PM
Why is CF3 so caustic?  Because the trifluomethyl group has a significant electronegativity that is often described as being intermediate between the electronegativities of fluorine and chlorine. For this reason, trifluoromethyl-substituted compounds are often strong acids, such as trifluoromethanesulfonic acid and trifluoroacetic acid.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 02, 2014, 02:57:34 PM
a man walks up to the counter at the library and says "hello. ill have a cheeseburger and fries, please!"

the lady at the counter says "sir you know youre in a library, right?"

the man whispers back "oh, sorry, ill have a cheeseburger and fries, please."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 02, 2014, 02:58:08 PM
Two gay guys walked into a bar in western kansas.

Everything went great because the owners were very nice and accepting.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 02, 2014, 03:01:19 PM
Two gay guys walked into a bar in western kansas.

Everything went great because the owners were very nice and accepting.

This one kills at parties btw. I hope it get a solid taco score.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: CHONGS on June 02, 2014, 03:04:11 PM
On orange cat was sitting on a fence watching a squirrel run across the lawn.  The cat yells, "Hey man, why in such a big hurry?"  The squirrel turns back and shouts, "Because I don't want you to eat me bro!", to which the cat replies "Oh that makes sense, too bad it's Lent though and I have given up eating squirrels, so you can just relax."  The squirrel doesn't stop running though because it knew that cat was at best a Christmas/Easter cat.  Unfortunately, a Methodist owl was in the tree and ate Mr. Squirrel  :frown:.

But its ok because Mr. Squirrel was a serial killer  :ROFL:.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 02, 2014, 03:06:41 PM
lol
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: j-dub on June 02, 2014, 03:06:54 PM
"if you talk about batting averages you must be from 1908"

 :D
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 02, 2014, 03:08:37 PM
a priest is walking down the sidewalk and he stumbles into a homeless drunk guy. the homeless guy looks up and says "I am Jesus."

the priest doesnt believe him and says "if you're Jesus, prove it."

the homeless man says "ok, follow me" and they walk into a bar.

the two men walk in and the bartender says "Jesus Christ, what are you doing in here again?!"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: CHONGS on June 02, 2014, 03:11:57 PM
Why do aliens have such big heads?  Because they love hats.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: CHONGS on June 02, 2014, 03:24:02 PM
What's the deal with toothpaste?  I mean come on!  With the tubes and having to squeeze it from the end.  It's like "Hello? It's 2014 here can't put this into a better delivery system?"  They can make quantum enabled beer cans but with toothpaste we have to hunch over and squeeeeze from the end like a 3 year old kid in daycare on crack!  And don't get me started on what it looks like.  "OOH DUR LET'S MAKE IT WHITE AGAIN!" "GREAT IDEA JONES!"  And the commercials for this stuff?  GIVE ME A BREAK! You have these demented grinning psychos running around cramming this paste into their faces while I gotta sit here and believe that this is greatest miracle known to man.  It doesn't even do what it says?  I'd love to see you try to get a tooth knocked out and put back in place with this so-called tooth paste!  Advertisers man, they will stop at nothing to get your soul.  What we need is a paste to get rid of them [pause for applause], maybe call it butt paste because that's where the heads of these bozos on 5th Avenue are at!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: CHONGS on June 02, 2014, 03:28:29 PM
Vodka, Gin, and Whiskey all walk into a Whole Foods.  The manager runs up to the and demands to know why they aren't wearing pants.  Vodka runs away, Gin starts crying and Whiskey shoots him in the head.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Shooter Jones on June 02, 2014, 03:34:55 PM
what do you do when you see a Spaceman?





park your car, man.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 02, 2014, 03:45:22 PM
Is four tacos good? Did I break it?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: HerrSonntag on June 02, 2014, 09:06:45 PM
Cashing in on the gastro-gourmet trends of high end restaurants in the area, some chemistry grad students decide to open up their own restaurant.  On their first day, two business men sit down for lunch.  Laughing about the novelty of the place, the first orders an H2O when asked what he'd like to drink.  The second man says he'd like an H20 too.  The restaurant was shut down before dinner.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

This is actually a great joke he just screwed up the delivery.
I was trying to change it from meme caption form to spoken joke form, i thought it was funny.   :dunno:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on June 02, 2014, 09:12:13 PM
horse walks into a bar and the bartender says hey why the long face?

also, chingon's are very funny.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 02, 2014, 09:25:02 PM
 :blank:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Phil Titola on June 02, 2014, 09:37:32 PM
What's so great about having sex with a pregnant chick?

Handjob same time
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Emo EMAW on June 03, 2014, 08:41:59 AM
 :sdeek:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: hatingfrancisco on June 03, 2014, 09:02:26 AM
Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?"


The old woman replies shyly, "Depends... ."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bqqkie Pimp on June 03, 2014, 09:10:53 AM
A group of 3rd graders was given a "taste test" at school one day.  Blindfolded, the first little girl gets an apple slice and say's "Mrs. Smith, that tastes like apple". The teacher says, "Very good, Mary.  You may take your seat."

The second boy gets an orange wedge and says, "Mrs. Smith, that was orange". She says, "Very good, Robert. You may take your seat."

Next up is Johnny with Billy to follow.  She unwraps a Hershey's kiss and gives it to Johnny.  He eats and and says, "I'm not sure what that was, Mrs. Smith."  The teacher, thinking that Johnny is just trying to get another piece of chocolate decides to give him a "hint" rather than more of the delicious candy... Mrs. Smith says, "I'll give you a hint, Johnny.  It's something that your mommy gives your daddy every night when they go to bed."

Billy spins around and says, "Spit it out, Johnny!!! It's a piece of ass!!!"

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SabiNation on June 03, 2014, 09:24:59 AM
lol
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Emo EMAW on June 03, 2014, 10:01:45 AM
So little Johnny is in class taking in a vocabulary lesson.  One of the words is dictate, and the teacher asks Johnny to use it in a sentence.  He says:

"My momma's always complainin' because she don't like the way my daddy's dictate."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 03, 2014, 10:04:38 AM
So little Johnny is in class taking in a vocabulary lesson.  One of the words is dictate, and the teacher asks Johnny to use it in a sentence.  He says:

"My momma's always complainin' because she don't like the way my daddy's dictate."

 :Yuck:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 03, 2014, 10:08:36 AM
Wow, those are just terrible jokes. Just truly bad.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 03, 2014, 10:09:32 AM
I had a good one about gay guys in western kansas earlier, if you want to study good joke structure.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Institutional Control on June 03, 2014, 10:13:02 AM
The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists: two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you find your wife sitting in a chair...kill her!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said.
"I had to kill him with the chair!"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: chunkles on June 03, 2014, 08:35:01 PM
How do you make a tissue dance?




put a little boogie in it
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on June 03, 2014, 09:58:01 PM
A man is hiking alone in the mountains when he sees a little girl crying near the edge of a steep cliff.  He says to the little girl "what's wrong, why are you so upset?"

She responds, "my older brother tripped and fell off this cliff, and my parents fell off trying to catch him. Now I'm all alone in these woods and I'm scared"

The man unzips his pants and says, "today just isn't your day sweetie."

The girl screams, "KATDADDY, NOOOOOOOOO!"
:curse: :curse: :curse: :curse: :curse:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on June 03, 2014, 10:08:50 PM
Why is CF3 so caustic?  Because the trifluomethyl group has a significant electronegativity that is often described as being intermediate between the electronegativities of fluorine and chlorine. For this reason, trifluoromethyl-substituted compounds are often strong acids, such as trifluoromethanesulfonic acid and trifluoroacetic acid.
Is the professor still at KU?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on June 03, 2014, 10:45:06 PM
I don't have any, for say, jokes.  But I got a true story to tell.  When I was a young man, I had the most wonderful hunting dog known to man.  One day my neighbor asked to barrow my dog for a hunting trip in western Kansas.  After a couple of weeks, I went over to the neighbor's place to get my dog.  He looked sadly at me and said he had to shoot my dog.  I asked him why he would do that.  He proceeds to tell me about his hunting trip.  "We go hunting for geese and Tex, my dog's name, looked straight up in the sky in the middle of a field and then scrapes the ground with his paw three times.  Sure enough, three geese flew right over us.  Later on, we're in a boat on the Smokey River and it's really windy.  We are getting close to a bend in the river and Tex curves his front paw around in the shape of the bend.  Then picks up a wood hammer we happen to have in the boat and shakes his head a half dozen times.  Well what do you think was around the bend, if you're guessing 6 mallard ducks, you're correct."  At that point I asked what in the world would make you want to kill my wonderful hunter partner.    "We decided to go hunting for ducks on farm ponds.  We're walking up to the berm of this huge pond and just before we get there, your dog finds a mud hole and starts to roll in it and then picks up a stick and shakes it violently.  It looks like the dog had gone mad, so I shot him."
My eyes got the size of red hot boulders, when I told that stupid son of duck mucker that Tex was telling them there were more mud ducks on that pond than you could shake a stick at.  :curse:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on June 05, 2014, 09:39:27 AM
I don't have any, for say, jokes.  But I got a true story to tell.  When I was a young man, I had the most wonderful hunting dog known to man.  One day my neighbor asked to barrow my dog for a hunting trip in western Kansas.  After a couple of weeks, I went over to the neighbor's place to get my dog.  He looked sadly at me and said he had to shoot my dog.  I asked him why he would do that.  He proceeds to tell me about his hunting trip.  "We go hunting for geese and Tex, my dog's name, looked straight up in the sky in the middle of a field and then scrapes the ground with his paw three times.  Sure enough, three geese flew right over us.  Later on, we're in a boat on the Smokey River and it's really windy.  We are getting close to a bend in the river and Tex curves his front paw around in the shape of the bend.  Then picks up a wood hammer we happen to have in the boat and shakes his head a half dozen times.  Well what do you think was around the bend, if you're guessing 6 mallard ducks, you're correct."  At that point I asked what in the world would make you want to kill my wonderful hunter partner.    "We decided to go hunting for ducks on farm ponds.  We're walking up to the berm of this huge pond and just before we get there, your dog finds a mud hole and starts to roll in it and then picks up a stick and shakes it violently.  It looks like the dog had gone mad, so I shot him."
My eyes got the size of red hot boulders, when I told that stupid son of duck mucker that Tex was telling them there were more mud ducks on that pond than you could shake a stick at.  :curse:
Tacos???
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Trogdor on June 05, 2014, 09:45:52 AM
Q: What did the fish say when he hit is head???



A:....."Dam"


:ROFL: holy crap it gets me every time
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: KSUblumpkin on June 05, 2014, 10:21:00 AM
My penis.  Girls usually laugh at it so it has to be taco worthy?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bqqkie Pimp on June 05, 2014, 12:01:33 PM
A group of 3rd graders was given a "taste test" at school one day.  Blindfolded, the first little girl gets an apple slice and say's "Mrs. Smith, that tastes like apple". The teacher says, "Very good, Mary.  You may take your seat."

The second boy gets an orange wedge and says, "Mrs. Smith, that was orange". She says, "Very good, Robert. You may take your seat."

Next up is Johnny with Billy to follow.  She unwraps a Hershey's kiss and gives it to Johnny.  He eats and and says, "I'm not sure what that was, Mrs. Smith."  The teacher, thinking that Johnny is just trying to get another piece of chocolate decides to give him a "hint" rather than more of the delicious candy... Mrs. Smith says, "I'll give you a hint, Johnny.  It's something that your mommy gives your daddy every night when they go to bed."

Billy spins around and says, "Spit it out, Johnny!!! It's a piece of ass!!!"


Did you stop scoring?  Where are my 5 rough ridin' tacos?!?

 :impatient:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on June 05, 2014, 02:15:53 PM
What did the bug say just before he hit the car windshield at 70 MPH.  "That takes guts!"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on June 05, 2014, 05:51:21 PM
My penis.  Girls usually laugh at it so it has to be taco worthy?

have you stopped by the dick pic thread?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Emo EMAW on June 06, 2014, 10:20:53 AM
So a termite walks into So Long and asks "is the bar tender here?"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bloodfart on June 06, 2014, 10:24:02 AM
What did the bug say just before he hit the car windshield at 70 MPH.  "That takes guts!"

To add to that.  What's the last thing that goes through a bug's brain when it hits a windshield? 

It's ass.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 06, 2014, 11:11:57 AM
CF3's promptness in judging jokes in this thread  :lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: hemmy on June 06, 2014, 11:13:17 AM
What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you cant cross a scalar with a vector.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: KITNfury on June 06, 2014, 11:54:06 AM
Potato
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Brock Landers on June 06, 2014, 11:55:35 AM
Punch line only:

Rectum? It damn near killed him!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 06, 2014, 12:18:37 PM
CF3's promptness in judging jokes in this thread  :lol: :lol: :lol:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 04:29:17 PM
I am sorry. Has been a hectic hectic week with many things going on. This evening I plan to promptly taco all jokes I have yet to taco. You are my buds and I'm sorry I've left you hanging by a taco.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on June 06, 2014, 06:17:12 PM
What's the difference in and egg, your wife, your meat, and a blowjob?





You can beat and egg.
You can beat your wife.


You can even beat your meat!,



But.......


You just can't beat a good blowjob.


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:36:14 PM
What did the Mexican say when his house fell over on him?

Get off me homes!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:37:35 PM
A MacBook Pro, a Galaxy Note, an iPad all walk into a karaoke bar.  They all dance to "U Can't Touch This" while Jim from IT raps, but only the  MacBook Pro knows how he really feels.

I don't get it, but I'm not that smart and I assume its a smart joke.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:38:20 PM
Some sort of a pun involving fruit talking to each other

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:38:44 PM
I once a slice of apple pie with a slice of cheddar cheese on it, and for dessert I had hamburger à la Mode.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:39:25 PM
I was really thirsty one day and when I got a cold glass of ice water I was like, this is some solid H2OHYESTHISISGOOD.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:40:08 PM
"if you talk about batting averages you must be from 1908"

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

This is our first 5 taco'd joke. Congrats to 1908cat!   :ksu:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:40:51 PM
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:41:22 PM
Why is CF3 so caustic?  Because the trifluomethyl group has a significant electronegativity that is often described as being intermediate between the electronegativities of fluorine and chlorine. For this reason, trifluoromethyl-substituted compounds are often strong acids, such as trifluoromethanesulfonic acid and trifluoroacetic acid.

I don't get it.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:42:18 PM
a man walks up to the counter at the library and says "hello. ill have a cheeseburger and fries, please!"

the lady at the counter says "sir you know youre in a library, right?"

the man whispers back "oh, sorry, ill have a cheeseburger and fries, please."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:44:43 PM
Two gay guys walked into a bar in western kansas.

Everything went great because the owners were very nice and accepting.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:45:46 PM
On orange cat was sitting on a fence watching a squirrel run across the lawn.  The cat yells, "Hey man, why in such a big hurry?"  The squirrel turns back and shouts, "Because I don't want you to eat me bro!", to which the cat replies "Oh that makes sense, too bad it's Lent though and I have given up eating squirrels, so you can just relax."  The squirrel doesn't stop running though because it knew that cat was at best a Christmas/Easter cat.  Unfortunately, a Methodist owl was in the tree and ate Mr. Squirrel  :frown:.

But its ok because Mr. Squirrel was a serial killer  :ROFL:.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

That's our 2nd 5 taco joke!  :ksu:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:46:39 PM
a priest is walking down the sidewalk and he stumbles into a homeless drunk guy. the homeless guy looks up and says "I am Jesus."

the priest doesnt believe him and says "if you're Jesus, prove it."

the homeless man says "ok, follow me" and they walk into a bar.

the two men walk in and the bartender says "Jesus Christ, what are you doing in here again?!"

needed more water to wine or something.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:48:38 PM
Why do aliens have such big heads?  Because they love hats.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:50:20 PM
What's the deal with toothpaste?  I mean come on!  With the tubes and having to squeeze it from the end.  It's like "Hello? It's 2014 here can't put this into a better delivery system?"  They can make quantum enabled beer cans but with toothpaste we have to hunch over and squeeeeze from the end like a 3 year old kid in daycare on crack!  And don't get me started on what it looks like.  "OOH DUR LET'S MAKE IT WHITE AGAIN!" "GREAT IDEA JONES!"  And the commercials for this stuff?  GIVE ME A BREAK! You have these demented grinning psychos running around cramming this paste into their faces while I gotta sit here and believe that this is greatest miracle known to man.  It doesn't even do what it says?  I'd love to see you try to get a tooth knocked out and put back in place with this so-called tooth paste!  Advertisers man, they will stop at nothing to get your soul.  What we need is a paste to get rid of them [pause for applause], maybe call it butt paste because that's where the heads of these bozos on 5th Avenue are at!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

THATS CINCO!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:54:27 PM
Vodka, Gin, and Whiskey all walk into a Whole Foods.  The manager runs up to the and demands to know why they aren't wearing pants.  Vodka runs away, Gin starts crying and Whiskey shoots him in the head.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:54:51 PM
what do you do when you see a Spaceman?





park your car, man.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:58:13 PM
horse walks into a bar and the bartender says hey why the long face?

also, chingon's are very funny.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 07:58:43 PM
What's so great about having sex with a pregnant chick?

Handjob same time

zero tacos. that is gross.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:00:54 PM
Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?"


The old woman replies shyly, "Depends... ."

gross but kinda funny

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:02:39 PM
A group of 3rd graders was given a "taste test" at school one day.  Blindfolded, the first little girl gets an apple slice and say's "Mrs. Smith, that tastes like apple". The teacher says, "Very good, Mary.  You may take your seat."

The second boy gets an orange wedge and says, "Mrs. Smith, that was orange". She says, "Very good, Robert. You may take your seat."

Next up is Johnny with Billy to follow.  She unwraps a Hershey's kiss and gives it to Johnny.  He eats and and says, "I'm not sure what that was, Mrs. Smith."  The teacher, thinking that Johnny is just trying to get another piece of chocolate decides to give him a "hint" rather than more of the delicious candy... Mrs. Smith says, "I'll give you a hint, Johnny.  It's something that your mommy gives your daddy every night when they go to bed."

Billy spins around and says, "Spit it out, Johnny!!! It's a piece of ass!!!"

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:03:15 PM
So little Johnny is in class taking in a vocabulary lesson.  One of the words is dictate, and the teacher asks Johnny to use it in a sentence.  He says:

"My momma's always complainin' because she don't like the way my daddy's dictate."

I knew a way better set up for that punch line Emo.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:04:11 PM
The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists: two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you find your wife sitting in a chair...kill her!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said.
"I had to kill him with the chair!"

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:04:32 PM
How do you make a tissue dance?




put a little boogie in it

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:06:21 PM
I don't have any, for say, jokes.  But I got a true story to tell.  When I was a young man, I had the most wonderful hunting dog known to man.  One day my neighbor asked to barrow my dog for a hunting trip in western Kansas.  After a couple of weeks, I went over to the neighbor's place to get my dog.  He looked sadly at me and said he had to shoot my dog.  I asked him why he would do that.  He proceeds to tell me about his hunting trip.  "We go hunting for geese and Tex, my dog's name, looked straight up in the sky in the middle of a field and then scrapes the ground with his paw three times.  Sure enough, three geese flew right over us.  Later on, we're in a boat on the Smokey River and it's really windy.  We are getting close to a bend in the river and Tex curves his front paw around in the shape of the bend.  Then picks up a wood hammer we happen to have in the boat and shakes his head a half dozen times.  Well what do you think was around the bend, if you're guessing 6 mallard ducks, you're correct."  At that point I asked what in the world would make you want to kill my wonderful hunter partner.    "We decided to go hunting for ducks on farm ponds.  We're walking up to the berm of this huge pond and just before we get there, your dog finds a mud hole and starts to roll in it and then picks up a stick and shakes it violently.  It looks like the dog had gone mad, so I shot him."
My eyes got the size of red hot boulders, when I told that stupid son of duck mucker that Tex was telling them there were more mud ducks on that pond than you could shake a stick at.  :curse:
Tacos???

too many words for such a mediocre payoff

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:06:51 PM
Q: What did the fish say when he hit is head???



A:....."Dam"


:ROFL: holy crap it gets me every time

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:07:08 PM
My penis.  Girls usually laugh at it so it has to be taco worthy?

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:07:27 PM
What did the bug say just before he hit the car windshield at 70 MPH.  "That takes guts!"

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:08:01 PM
So a termite walks into So Long and asks "is the bar tender here?"

I liked that you made it about MHK

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:08:28 PM
What did the bug say just before he hit the car windshield at 70 MPH.  "That takes guts!"

To add to that.  What's the last thing that goes through a bug's brain when it hits a windshield? 

It's ass.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:08:57 PM
CF3's promptness in judging jokes in this thread  :lol: :lol: :lol:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:09:57 PM
What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you cant cross a scalar with a vector.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 06, 2014, 08:09:57 PM
Two gay guys walked into a bar in western kansas.

Everything went great because the owners were very nice and accepting.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

YES! SWEET VICTORY
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:10:18 PM
Potato

zero tacos
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:10:43 PM
Punch line only:

Rectum? It damn near killed him!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 06, 2014, 08:10:54 PM
On orange cat was sitting on a fence watching a squirrel run across the lawn.  The cat yells, "Hey man, why in such a big hurry?"  The squirrel turns back and shouts, "Because I don't want you to eat me bro!", to which the cat replies "Oh that makes sense, too bad it's Lent though and I have given up eating squirrels, so you can just relax."  The squirrel doesn't stop running though because it knew that cat was at best a Christmas/Easter cat.  Unfortunately, a Methodist owl was in the tree and ate Mr. Squirrel  :frown:.

But its ok because Mr. Squirrel was a serial killer  :ROFL:.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

That's our 2nd 5 taco joke!  :ksu:

Besides just being a joke, that's one of the best things ever written on this blog
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:11:20 PM
CF3's promptness in judging jokes in this thread  :lol: :lol: :lol:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Those are unauthorized tacos. Only I may taco.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:11:39 PM
What's the difference in and egg, your wife, your meat, and a blowjob?





You can beat and egg.
You can beat your wife.


You can even beat your meat!,



But.......


You just can't beat a good blowjob.


Gonna win 'em all!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 06, 2014, 08:12:06 PM
wow. that was a lot of taco'ing. Great job by all.

Go Cats.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 06, 2014, 08:12:55 PM
CF3's promptness in judging jokes in this thread  :lol: :lol: :lol:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Those are unauthorized tacos. Only I may taco.

2 unbiased judges giving that joke 4 tacos a piece  :Woot:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: KITNfury on June 06, 2014, 08:21:38 PM
Potato

zero tacos
I told it wrong.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on June 06, 2014, 10:03:47 PM

What's the difference in and egg, your wife, your meat, and a blowjob?





You can beat and egg.
You can beat your wife.


You can even beat your meat!,



But.......


You just can't beat a good blowjob.


Gonna win 'em all!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
What if I had called them huevos rancheros and referred to your wife as a señorita, and called it a Mexican blowjob?


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 'taterblast on June 16, 2014, 02:08:14 PM
Three engineers are riding in a car.

One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer.

The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road.

"Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road again in no time."

"Wait," says the electrical engineer. "The way it just stopped like that, I think it's the electrical system. Let me have a look and I'll get us going again in a minute or two."

"Hold on," says the computer engineer. "Why don't we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 16, 2014, 02:24:35 PM
weak engineering joke.

two engineers are debating about what kind of engineer designed a woman.

the first engineer, an electrical engineer says, "It must be an electrical engineer. Women's minds are so complicated!"

the second engineer, a mechanical engineer says, "It must be a mechanical engineer. Women move so swiftly and beautifully."

the first engineer chimes back "Nah, must be a civil engineer. Who else would put a sewage system right next to a playground?!"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 16, 2014, 02:27:35 PM
Three engineers walked into a bar. They ran up a super high tab but it was cool because they all have good jobs because they went to K-State.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 16, 2014, 02:44:56 PM
Three engineers walked into a bar. They ran up a super high tab but it was cool because they all have good jobs because they went to K-State.
this is a joke thread not a facts thread benja. lock it up
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on June 16, 2014, 02:49:12 PM
Three engineers walk into a bar.  They don't talk to anyone, including each other, because they're socially awkward and don't understand interpersonal relationships.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 16, 2014, 02:54:54 PM
Three engineers walk into a bar.  They don't talk to anyone, including each other, because they're socially awkward and don't understand interpersonal relationships.

Three Spracne's walk into a bar. Everyone is nice though because we're salt of the earth types, and hey, it's just message boarding. How 'bout them royals?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 16, 2014, 09:47:48 PM
A boulder and a pebble are standing on a cliff. Which one jumps first?

The pebble because he's a little bolder.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 16, 2014, 09:48:15 PM
What did the egg say to the boiling water?


I can't get hard, I just got laid by a chick.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 16, 2014, 09:49:29 PM
Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide and seek.

Einstein starts counting. Pascal runs off. Newton stays put and draws a square in the dirt.

Einstein looks up and says that was easy, found you Newton. Newton says no, you found Pascal. One Newton per meter squared.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 16, 2014, 09:50:47 PM
Roman soldier walks in a bar and says I'll have a martinus. Bartender says "a martini?" Soldier says if I wanted more than one I would have said so. Little while later another soldier walks in, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have five beers.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 16, 2014, 09:53:16 PM
A poet, a priest, and an engineer are sentenced to being executed by guillotine. Poet is up first but the guillotine jams. Executioner says I only get one shot, you must be an amazing poet. You're free. Priest is up next, same thing, jams up. Executioner says it must be because you are a man of God. You are free. The engineer is last and with his head on the block looks up and says "Hey I think I see the problem."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 16, 2014, 10:14:43 PM
Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide and seek.

Einstein starts counting. Pascal runs off. Newton stays put and draws a square in the dirt.

Einstein looks up and says that was easy, found you Newton. Newton says no, you found Pascal. One Newton per meter squared.

 :dubious:

:D

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1346.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fp684%2FThe_Big_Train%2F5E0C7EA6-D016-4207-B953-04513F591424_zpspq6fekg9.jpg&hash=3d011213743287f4a506ecb855676535b524fd40)

http://goEMAW.com/forum/index.php?topic=5757.850
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: j-dub on June 16, 2014, 10:18:18 PM
umm guys, i don't think cf3 is grading jokes anymore. pretty sure the deadline was sometime last week. via con dios tho
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 16, 2014, 11:30:43 PM
eff. I forgot where I got that one from
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 17, 2014, 12:28:56 AM
Your jokes will be tacoed tomorrow but I need to get to bed.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: EMAWesome on June 17, 2014, 12:31:17 PM
A salmon is swimming in a stream and it is watching a fly thinking if that fly would just drop 6 inches he'd jump up to get the fly.

A bear is watching the salmon watch the fly thinking if that fly would just drop 6 inches the salmon would jump up to get the fly, and he would get the salmon.

A hunter is watching the bear watch the salmon watch the fly thinking if that fly would just drop 6 inches the salmon would jump up to get the fly, the bear would get the salmon & and he would shoot the bear.

A mouse is watching the hunter watch the bear watch the salmon watching the fly thinking if the fly would just drop 6 inches, the salmon would jump up to get the fly, the bear would get salmon the hunter would get the bear and he would get the hunters cheese sandwich.

A cat is watching the mouse watch the hunter watch the bear watch the salmon watch the fly thinking if the fly would just drop 6 inches, the salmon would get the fly, the bear would get the salmon the hunter would shoot the bear, the mouse would get the cheese sandwich and he would get the mouse.

This goes on for a few minutes when finally...

The fly drops 6 inches, the salmon gets the fly, the bear gets the salmon, the hunter shoots the bear, the mouse gets the cheese sandwich, and the cat goes for the mouse but falls in the stream instead.

The moral of the story?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Every time a fly drops 6 inches a pussy is bound to get wet.  :thumbsup:

Try telling this joke when you are 3 sheets to the wind.  :cheers:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on June 17, 2014, 12:37:00 PM
Pretty wordy
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 'taterblast on June 17, 2014, 12:46:12 PM
i don't get it
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 17, 2014, 01:43:01 PM
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2. The bouncer is a blonde gal.
3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nope! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mr Bread on June 17, 2014, 07:15:38 PM
Man he served those uppity b-words right up. 
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 18, 2014, 10:45:11 AM
CF3 promising he would taco the current jokes yesterday :lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 18, 2014, 10:51:44 AM
So three guys walked into a KU football game and ....

That's it. That's the joke! :ROFL:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 18, 2014, 12:13:31 PM
Three engineers are riding in a car.

One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer.

The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road.

"Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road again in no time."

"Wait," says the electrical engineer. "The way it just stopped like that, I think it's the electrical system. Let me have a look and I'll get us going again in a minute or two."

"Hold on," says the computer engineer. "Why don't we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?"

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

weak engineering joke.

two engineers are debating about what kind of engineer designed a woman.

the first engineer, an electrical engineer says, "It must be an electrical engineer. Women's minds are so complicated!"

the second engineer, a mechanical engineer says, "It must be a mechanical engineer. Women move so swiftly and beautifully."

the first engineer chimes back "Nah, must be a civil engineer. Who else would put a sewage system right next to a playground?!"


(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Three engineers walked into a bar. They ran up a super high tab but it was cool because they all have good jobs because they went to K-State.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 'taterblast on June 18, 2014, 12:14:17 PM
 :jerk:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 18, 2014, 12:15:36 PM
Three engineers walk into a bar.  They don't talk to anyone, including each other, because they're socially awkward and don't understand interpersonal relationships.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Three engineers walk into a bar.  They don't talk to anyone, including each other, because they're socially awkward and don't understand interpersonal relationships.

Three Spracne's walk into a bar. Everyone is nice though because we're salt of the earth types, and hey, it's just message boarding. How 'bout them royals?

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

A boulder and a pebble are standing on a cliff. Which one jumps first?

The pebble because he's a little bolder.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

What did the egg say to the boiling water?


I can't get hard, I just got laid by a chick.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 18, 2014, 12:20:27 PM
Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide and seek.

Einstein starts counting. Pascal runs off. Newton stays put and draws a square in the dirt.

Einstein looks up and says that was easy, found you Newton. Newton says no, you found Pascal. One Newton per meter squared.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Roman soldier walks in a bar and says I'll have a martinus. Bartender says "a martini?" Soldier says if I wanted more than one I would have said so. Little while later another soldier walks in, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have five beers.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

A poet, a priest, and an engineer are sentenced to being executed by guillotine. Poet is up first but the guillotine jams. Executioner says I only get one shot, you must be an amazing poet. You're free. Priest is up next, same thing, jams up. Executioner says it must be because you are a man of God. You are free. The engineer is last and with his head on the block looks up and says "Hey I think I see the problem."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

A salmon is swimming in a stream and it is watching a fly thinking if that fly would just drop 6 inches he'd jump up to get the fly.

A bear is watching the salmon watch the fly thinking if that fly would just drop 6 inches the salmon would jump up to get the fly, and he would get the salmon.

A hunter is watching the bear watch the salmon watch the fly thinking if that fly would just drop 6 inches the salmon would jump up to get the fly, the bear would get the salmon & and he would shoot the bear.

A mouse is watching the hunter watch the bear watch the salmon watching the fly thinking if the fly would just drop 6 inches, the salmon would jump up to get the fly, the bear would get salmon the hunter would get the bear and he would get the hunters cheese sandwich.

A cat is watching the mouse watch the hunter watch the bear watch the salmon watch the fly thinking if the fly would just drop 6 inches, the salmon would get the fly, the bear would get the salmon the hunter would shoot the bear, the mouse would get the cheese sandwich and he would get the mouse.

This goes on for a few minutes when finally...

The fly drops 6 inches, the salmon gets the fly, the bear gets the salmon, the hunter shoots the bear, the mouse gets the cheese sandwich, and the cat goes for the mouse but falls in the stream instead.

The moral of the story?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Every time a fly drops 6 inches a pussy is bound to get wet.  :thumbsup:

Try telling this joke when you are 3 sheets to the wind.  :cheers:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 18, 2014, 12:21:13 PM
Rule #1: Know your audience. Engineering jokes? Really?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: steve dave on June 18, 2014, 12:22:09 PM
that's why my food puns are dominating this thing kids
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: steve dave on June 18, 2014, 12:23:08 PM
Why did the student eat his homework?

The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 'taterblast on June 18, 2014, 12:24:32 PM
a roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says "five beers please."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 'taterblast on June 18, 2014, 12:25:05 PM
a buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "make me one with everything."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 18, 2014, 12:26:23 PM
So three guys walked into a KU football game and ....

That's it. That's the joke! :ROFL:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2. The bouncer is a blonde gal.
3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nope! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

oldie but a goodie

CF3 promising he would taco the current jokes yesterday :lol:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 18, 2014, 12:27:34 PM
Why did the student eat his homework?

The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

a roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says "five beers please."

luked

a buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "make me one with everything."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 'taterblast on June 18, 2014, 12:30:11 PM
A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."

"Relax," the bartender says, "give me a five-dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you five bucks to have your shirt cleaned."

"Thass a great idea!"

When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door. "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"

He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me five bucks to have my shirt cleaned."

The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $10 in here!"

"Oh yeah, he sh*t my pants, too."
Title: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on June 18, 2014, 12:31:04 PM
A pirate walks into a GAP Kids with a ship's steering wheel protruding from his fly. A kid says, "scuse me, Ser, but did you know you have a ship's steering wheel coming out of your fly?"

"Arrrrrg, I know," he replied. "It's driving me nuts."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 18, 2014, 12:34:07 PM
A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."

"Relax," the bartender says, "give me a five-dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you five bucks to have your shirt cleaned."

"Thass a great idea!"

When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door. "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"

He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me five bucks to have my shirt cleaned."

The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $10 in here!"

"Oh yeah, he sh*t my pants, too."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

A pirate walks into a GAP Kids with a ship's steering wheel protruding from his fly. A kid says, "scuse me, Ser, but did you know you have a ship's steering wheel coming out of your fly?"

"Arrrrrg, I know," he replied. "It's driving me nuts."

zero tacos. The Gap kids part is unneeded for the punch line and just makes it creepy. If you're gonna be gross it better add to the humor of the joke.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on June 18, 2014, 12:37:28 PM

A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."

"Relax," the bartender says, "give me a five-dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you five bucks to have your shirt cleaned."

"Thass a great idea!"

When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door. "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"

He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me five bucks to have my shirt cleaned."

The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $10 in here!"

"Oh yeah, he sh*t my pants, too."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

A pirate walks into a GAP Kids with a ship's steering wheel protruding from his fly. A kid says, "scuse me, Ser, but did you know you have a ship's steering wheel coming out of your fly?"

"Arrrrrg, I know," he replied. "It's driving me nuts."

zero tacos. The Gap kids part is unneeded for the punch line and just makes it creepy. If you're gonna be gross it better add to the humor of the joke.

Subtext: the pirate has dwarfism
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: steve dave on June 18, 2014, 12:46:11 PM
A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchen. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk'
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 18, 2014, 12:48:57 PM
A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchen. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk'

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 18, 2014, 01:03:33 PM
SD's sense of humor seems to largely rely on puns.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 18, 2014, 01:12:48 PM
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?





 Fo' drizzle.

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 18, 2014, 01:14:27 PM
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?





 




He was looking for Pooh
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 18, 2014, 01:15:40 PM
What's Forrest Gump's password?















1forrest1
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on June 18, 2014, 01:15:57 PM
I admire sd always keeping it family friendly
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 18, 2014, 01:19:23 PM
I admire sd always keeping it family friendly

yes, they are good puns.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: deputy dawg on June 18, 2014, 01:21:20 PM
Q:  What do you get when you cross a clam with an owl?

A:  You get a mussel that wants to stay up all night.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: ben ji on June 18, 2014, 01:45:20 PM
Three Blonde girls are lost in the woods when they come across some tracks.

The first blonde says "These look like Bear tracks"

The second blonde says "No, I've seen tracks like these before, they are definitely Deer Tracks"

The third blonde says "No no no! These are wolf tracks!"

After 2 hours of arguing they are hit and killed by a train.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: EMAWesome on June 18, 2014, 03:02:29 PM
Fascist thread

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on June 18, 2014, 08:47:26 PM
Man walks into a Soup & Salad House.  He orders soup.  He sees a hair in the soup and tells the waitress that he's not paying for the filthy dirty soup.  He then walks over to the local House of Favors.  The waitress follows, because can't figure our what a picky man like that would be doing in a place like that.  She opens the door to the room he is in, and to her surprise, she sees the guy with his head buried in this gal's muff.  She YELLS at the man, "You son-of-a-bitch, you wouldn't pay for the soup, but here you are buried in muff!"  The guy pulls his head out and YELLS back, "And if there's a noodle in here, I'm not paying for this either!"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 8manpick on June 18, 2014, 08:55:37 PM
1 pink taco
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 18, 2014, 08:57:36 PM
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?





 Fo' drizzle.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?





 




He was looking for Pooh

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

What's Forrest Gump's password?















1forrest1

I dunno I just like this one
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 18, 2014, 09:02:12 PM
Q:  What do you get when you cross a clam with an owl?

A:  You get a mussel that wants to stay up all night.

not sure i get it.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)


Three Blonde girls are lost in the woods when they come across some tracks.

The first blonde says "These look like Bear tracks"

The second blonde says "No, I've seen tracks like these before, they are definitely Deer Tracks"

The third blonde says "No no no! These are wolf tracks!"

After 2 hours of arguing they are hit and killed by a train.

oh man! didn't see it coming!
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Man walks into a Soup & Salad House.  He orders soup.  He sees a hair in the soup and tells the waitress that he's not paying for the filthy dirty soup.  He then walks over to the local House of Favors.  The waitress follows, because can't figure our what a picky man like that would be doing in a place like that.  She opens the door to the room he is in, and to her surprise, she sees the guy with his head buried in this gal's muff.  She YELLS at the man, "You son-of-a-bitch, you wouldn't pay for the soup, but here you are buried in muff!"  The guy pulls his head out and YELLS back, "And if there's a noodle in here, I'm not paying for this either!"

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Phil Titola on June 18, 2014, 09:27:27 PM
A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."

"Relax," the bartender says, "give me a five-dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you five bucks to have your shirt cleaned."

"Thass a great idea!"

When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door. "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"

He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me five bucks to have my shirt cleaned."

The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $10 in here!"

"Oh yeah, he sh*t my pants, too."

This is my go to joke lately....
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Phil Titola on June 18, 2014, 09:30:09 PM
What is the last thing you want to hear when sucking Willie Nelson's dick?









I'm not Willie Nelson.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 19, 2014, 11:32:16 AM
Cuantas estrellas hay en el cielo?



cincuenta.



SIN CUENTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 19, 2014, 11:36:13 AM
Que es venganza?


no no no, es lo que el ganzo le dice a la ganza!!!!  :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: gato montes on June 19, 2014, 11:40:01 AM
What does a pirate hate the most?


A small chest and no booty.   
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 19, 2014, 11:51:01 AM
Quote
An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.

"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"

The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have sex with the mermaid."

"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"

"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have sex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."
:ROFL:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: BIG APPLE CAT on June 19, 2014, 06:48:08 PM
What does Mexican Elvis say?


Gracias. Muchas gracias.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on June 19, 2014, 06:51:30 PM
What does Japanese Elvis say?

Domo. Domo. Domo alrigato mr roboto


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 20, 2014, 10:10:24 AM
What is the last thing you want to hear when sucking Willie Nelson's dick?









I'm not Willie Nelson.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Cuantas estrellas hay en el cielo?



cincuenta.



SIN CUENTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:

zero tacos

Que es venganza?


no no no, es lo que el ganzo le dice a la ganza!!!!  :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:

zero tacos

What does a pirate hate the most?


A small chest and no booty.   

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Quote
An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.

"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"

The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have sex with the mermaid."

"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"

"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have sex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."
:ROFL:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 20, 2014, 10:11:16 AM
What does Mexican Elvis say?


Gracias. Muchas gracias.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

What does Japanese Elvis say?

Domo. Domo. Domo alrigato mr roboto


Gonna win 'em all!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 20, 2014, 10:45:01 PM
Vendetta noted.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 20, 2014, 10:50:53 PM
Vendetta noted.

i don't speak spanish. foreign language jokes always get zero tacos
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 20, 2014, 10:53:30 PM
How many stars are in the sky.

Cincuenta means 50.

Sin cuenta mean like no account or no way to count. They are homonyms.

What is vengeance? = que es venganza.

No no no. It's what the male goose says to the female goose.

Ven ganza = come female goose.


:D
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 20, 2014, 11:10:34 PM
How many stars are in the sky.

Cincuenta means 50.

Sin cuenta mean like no account or no way to count. They are homonyms.

What is vengeance? = que es venganza.

No no no. It's what the male goose says to the female goose.

Ven ganza = come female goose.


:D

nothing personal but i'm sticking with zero tacos. too complicated
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 21, 2014, 12:12:02 AM
OK :D
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on June 21, 2014, 01:48:38 AM
CartierForHardass
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on June 21, 2014, 02:50:36 AM
Two white guys take their Asian friend out camping for the first time. They drive up close to a forest, and wander until they find a good spot for the night. One guy says "I'm going to go get fire wood, (points at the other white guy) you go get some stumps for us to sit on (points at the Asian guy) and you go get the supplies.

The white guys return to the camp site about the same time, with their Asian friend nowhere to be found. They get worried, so they go to the car where the supplies were. Everything is still there, so they go ahead and grab everything and start to take it back to the camp site. About half way there their Asian friend jumps out from behind and tree and yells, "SUPPLIES!!!"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on June 21, 2014, 02:58:36 AM
I hope michigancat scolds you for that blatantly racist "joke"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on June 21, 2014, 03:24:55 AM
I sat on it for a while. Twice while typing it I thought of deleting it. Oh well, no turning back now!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: nicname on June 21, 2014, 05:29:09 AM
Your mama is so nasty I went over to her house the other day, and when I asked her what we were having for dinner she propped her foot up on the table and said, "Corn!" 

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: nicname on June 21, 2014, 05:36:19 AM
Sometimes when people fart I tell them that if they were a boxer their name would be gaseous clay.

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 21, 2014, 09:22:44 AM
Your mama is so nasty I went over to her house the other day, and when I asked her what we were having for dinner she propped her foot up on the table and said, "Corn!"

:barf:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: EMAWesome on June 21, 2014, 08:28:21 PM
Your mama is so fat, she should probably be concerned about contracting type 2 diabetes

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mr Bread on June 21, 2014, 09:40:12 PM
I sat on it for a while. Twice while typing it I thought of deleting it. Oh well, no turning back now!

You should change it to a joke that has nothing to do with race and then seven's post will look ridiculous.  That alone will probably have you swimming in tacos. 
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: deputy dawg on June 23, 2014, 03:05:39 PM
TOOLS AND HOW TO USE THEM
 
SKIL SAW:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Feastcoastallstars.net%2Fwp-admin%2Fuser%2Fdewalt-skil-saw-guide-7619.jpg&hash=a5e54b07dd5fe3364b6581251906df1118670051)
A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.
 
BELT SANDER:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.machinemart.co.uk%2Fimages%2Flibrary%2Fproduct%2Fhuge%2F06%2F060313080.jpg&hash=ce1e9ec118cac930b4ca1972d01dffb142f6cd04)
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
 
WIRE WHEEL:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mhsindustrial.com%2Fthumbnail.asp%3Ffile%3Dassets%2Fimages%2FIncom%2F301166.jpg%26amp%3Bmaxx%3D300%26amp%3Bmaxy%3D0&hash=55f5737efae683449c82a4a2bac21a6913da5703)
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light.  Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh crap'.
 
DRILL PRESS:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.machinemart.co.uk%2Fimages%2Flibrary%2Fproduct%2Fhuge%2F06%2F060710005.jpg&hash=0e66ce99f538a927f57fb764c7fb6b515345d729)
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

 
Channel Locks:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.toolup.com%2Fimages%2FProduct%2Flarge%2FChannel-Lock-422.jpg&hash=a52483958ca4601cb81c6771b9679d349a84942c)
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
 
HACKSAW:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.beatsons.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fzoom%2F1350492416-67135600.jpg&hash=5dc19783e019acce82cda5f53e7b7c17164f2d57)
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
 
VISE-GRIPS:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhi.atgimg.com%2Fimg%2Fx%2F3772%2F038548990699_ca.jpg&hash=c48393e63ab0b69387a4fde6c331c548e35540a6)
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
 
OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foxyacetylenetorch.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F03%2Fs_torch2.jpg&hash=cffc01293bf8d330a85f2439b428daa75753593f)
Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
 
TABLE SAW:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.macma.co.nz%2Fimages%2Fmj2325b.jpg&hash=222ba50d305ea77d7de8e238d43e3a724cb745f7)
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
Very effective for digit removal !!
 
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mile-x.com%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fdetail%2F5106_1958.jpg&hash=ba0899e050233db13c876ea805de57ca62d6ec33)
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
 
BAND SAW:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.baileighindustrial.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F5%2Fbase%2F9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95%2Fv%2Fe%2Fvertical-band-saw-bsv16.jpg&hash=3fd30960b7bae2117b94b439bccc042ca477346b)
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
 
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.homedepot.com%2Fcatalog%2FproductImages%2F400%2F04%2F04a2167a-2e81-4461-bc0a-f5e07371eea0_400.jpg&hash=7dc9a78c67ba53b6df9a2a81b0c5c2d1be120413)
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.
 
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.beatsons.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fzoom%2F1350492285-97836800.jpg&hash=9e4332472c62556e4eb453a21a5093c13e98ce35)
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
 

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rapidonline.com%2Fcatalogueimages%2FModule%2FM518630P01WL.jpg&hash=ef643e137a7c250a4c65f27193683e1d87fea212)
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
 
PRY BAR:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.beatsons.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fzoom%2F1350488722-01808500.jpg&hash=ee4d1c32a960b2acf3f119fb6b26903b7045cd5d)
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
 
PVC PIPE CUTTER:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.harborfreight.com%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F1%2Fimage%2F9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95%2Fi%2Fm%2Fimage_20545.jpg&hash=ce8c8d122372a8647443cc03bc5e997fb1acc4a4)
A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.
 
HAMMER:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstanleyhandtoolsmediakit.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F04%2F51-505a.jpg&hash=c58346c5e28fb2573bca8c18f0d519e25371f485)
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
 
UTILITY KNIFE:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.harborfreight.com%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F1%2Fimage%2F9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95%2Fi%2Fm%2Fimage_18437.jpg%3F01AD%3D34C15VAX6IgCUAT4U3nrOnnsBIr_SC5vzm6sVNOJecUbwGmTrVplCTQ%26amp%3B01RI%3D9EADF4B31B5198A%26amp%3B01NA%3D&hash=1df4ba5afba21043561a7cb08e12b7f0d07151a2)
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on June 23, 2014, 03:51:53 PM
I don't get it  :confused:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 23, 2014, 04:24:20 PM
I think it's guide for people that aren't tool savvy at all.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on June 23, 2014, 05:49:37 PM
you didn't post a picture of a skil saw
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: wetwillie on June 23, 2014, 05:57:42 PM
Whatever a GPC taco would look like is what I give that joke. 
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: michigancat on June 23, 2014, 06:21:49 PM
I call them flathead screwdrivers.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on June 23, 2014, 06:25:05 PM
I call them flathead screwdrivers.

yes, more correct than straight
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on June 23, 2014, 06:31:06 PM
5 daris tacos. I smiled throughout that whole thing.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on June 23, 2014, 06:56:06 PM
you didn't post a picture of a skil saw
noticed this as well but let it slide because skilsaw is just the site jargon. only ever used a "skilsaw" once. all others were dewalt.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: deputy dawg on June 24, 2014, 08:57:01 AM
Whatever a GPC taco would look like is what I give that joke.

What's "GPC"?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: highway61 on June 24, 2014, 09:17:48 AM
Me:  Somebody told me you sound like an owl.

Some sucker:  Who?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 24, 2014, 09:21:19 AM
Two white guys take their Asian friend out camping for the first time. They drive up close to a forest, and wander until they find a good spot for the night. One guy says "I'm going to go get fire wood, (points at the other white guy) you go get some stumps for us to sit on (points at the Asian guy) and you go get the supplies.

The white guys return to the camp site about the same time, with their Asian friend nowhere to be found. They get worried, so they go to the car where the supplies were. Everything is still there, so they go ahead and grab everything and start to take it back to the camp site. About half way there their Asian friend jumps out from behind and tree and yells, "SUPPLIES!!!"

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 24, 2014, 09:22:45 AM
Your mama is so nasty I went over to her house the other day, and when I asked her what we were having for dinner she propped her foot up on the table and said, "Corn!"

Gross. Also very 4th grade nicname.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 24, 2014, 09:23:44 AM
Sometimes when people fart I tell them that if they were a boxer their name would be gaseous clay.

much better nicname!
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 24, 2014, 09:25:14 AM
Your mama is so fat, she should probably be concerned about contracting type 2 diabetes

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
TOOLS AND HOW TO USE THEM
 
SKIL SAW:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Feastcoastallstars.net%2Fwp-admin%2Fuser%2Fdewalt-skil-saw-guide-7619.jpg&hash=a5e54b07dd5fe3364b6581251906df1118670051)
A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.
 
BELT SANDER:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.machinemart.co.uk%2Fimages%2Flibrary%2Fproduct%2Fhuge%2F06%2F060313080.jpg&hash=ce1e9ec118cac930b4ca1972d01dffb142f6cd04)
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
 
WIRE WHEEL:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mhsindustrial.com%2Fthumbnail.asp%3Ffile%3Dassets%2Fimages%2FIncom%2F301166.jpg%26amp%3Bmaxx%3D300%26amp%3Bmaxy%3D0&hash=55f5737efae683449c82a4a2bac21a6913da5703)
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light.  Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh crap'.
 
DRILL PRESS:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.machinemart.co.uk%2Fimages%2Flibrary%2Fproduct%2Fhuge%2F06%2F060710005.jpg&hash=0e66ce99f538a927f57fb764c7fb6b515345d729)
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

 
Channel Locks:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.toolup.com%2Fimages%2FProduct%2Flarge%2FChannel-Lock-422.jpg&hash=a52483958ca4601cb81c6771b9679d349a84942c)
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
 
HACKSAW:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.beatsons.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fzoom%2F1350492416-67135600.jpg&hash=5dc19783e019acce82cda5f53e7b7c17164f2d57)
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
 
VISE-GRIPS:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhi.atgimg.com%2Fimg%2Fx%2F3772%2F038548990699_ca.jpg&hash=c48393e63ab0b69387a4fde6c331c548e35540a6)
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
 
OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foxyacetylenetorch.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F03%2Fs_torch2.jpg&hash=cffc01293bf8d330a85f2439b428daa75753593f)
Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
 
TABLE SAW:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.macma.co.nz%2Fimages%2Fmj2325b.jpg&hash=222ba50d305ea77d7de8e238d43e3a724cb745f7)
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
Very effective for digit removal !!
 
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mile-x.com%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fdetail%2F5106_1958.jpg&hash=ba0899e050233db13c876ea805de57ca62d6ec33)
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
 
BAND SAW:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.baileighindustrial.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F5%2Fbase%2F9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95%2Fv%2Fe%2Fvertical-band-saw-bsv16.jpg&hash=3fd30960b7bae2117b94b439bccc042ca477346b)
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
 
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.homedepot.com%2Fcatalog%2FproductImages%2F400%2F04%2F04a2167a-2e81-4461-bc0a-f5e07371eea0_400.jpg&hash=7dc9a78c67ba53b6df9a2a81b0c5c2d1be120413)
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.
 
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.beatsons.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fzoom%2F1350492285-97836800.jpg&hash=9e4332472c62556e4eb453a21a5093c13e98ce35)
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
 

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rapidonline.com%2Fcatalogueimages%2FModule%2FM518630P01WL.jpg&hash=ef643e137a7c250a4c65f27193683e1d87fea212)
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
 
PRY BAR:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amsisupply.com%2Fgraphics%2Fhammer%2520and%2520pry%2FMIB7-pry-bar-large.gif&hash=70191fc79135ac20164e3b24bbe381c2589b8e5d)
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
 
PVC PIPE CUTTER:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.harborfreight.com%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F1%2Fimage%2F9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95%2Fi%2Fm%2Fimage_20545.jpg&hash=ce8c8d122372a8647443cc03bc5e997fb1acc4a4)
A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.
 
HAMMER:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstanleyhandtoolsmediakit.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F04%2F51-505a.jpg&hash=c58346c5e28fb2573bca8c18f0d519e25371f485)
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
 
UTILITY KNIFE:
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.harborfreight.com%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F1%2Fimage%2F9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95%2Fi%2Fm%2Fimage_18437.jpg%3F01AD%3D34C15VAX6IgCUAT4U3nrOnnsBIr_SC5vzm6sVNOJecUbwGmTrVplCTQ%26amp%3B01RI%3D9EADF4B31B5198A%26amp%3B01NA%3D&hash=1df4ba5afba21043561a7cb08e12b7f0d07151a2)
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

Its very Father's Day Card or Tim the Tool Man Taylory, but still:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 24, 2014, 09:26:15 AM
Me:  Somebody told me you sound like an owl.

Some sucker:  Who?

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 24, 2014, 04:32:56 PM
Today I saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall. As he sneered at me, I thought, "That's a little condescending."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 24, 2014, 05:36:37 PM
Today I saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall. As he sneered at me, I thought, "That's a little condescending."

i would have italicized little condescending (no bold)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 24, 2014, 05:54:37 PM
Today I saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall. As he sneered at me, I thought, "That's a little condescending."

i would have italicized little condescending (no bold)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 24, 2014, 05:56:58 PM
I dunno, when I tell it, I say the word condescending with a lot of emphasis for some reason. Then I just stare at your with my eyebrows cocked and a weird half smirk.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 24, 2014, 06:00:26 PM
And then that's usually a good time for you to walk away.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 24, 2014, 06:04:33 PM
And then I ask if you want to hear my ghandi joke
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 24, 2014, 06:07:09 PM
I call them flathead screwdrivers.

yes, more correct than straight
phillips not cross tip or standard right?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: michigancat on June 24, 2014, 06:10:22 PM
Fun fact about Phillips head screwdrivers: they are actually designed to slip out and thus avoid overtorquing. Pozidriv is much more secure. :nerd:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on June 24, 2014, 06:10:31 PM
I dunno, when I tell it, I say the word condescending with a lot of emphasis for some reason. Then I just stare at your with my eyebrows cocked and a weird half smirk.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmetrouk2.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F06%2Fgot-gif.gif&hash=a6551d52138c97acbe73b549d5f9cffd89649acb)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 24, 2014, 06:12:07 PM
I dunno, when I tell it, I say the word condescending with a lot of emphasis for some reason. Then I just stare at your with my eyebrows cocked and a weird half smirk.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmetrouk2.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F06%2Fgot-gif.gif&hash=a6551d52138c97acbe73b549d5f9cffd89649acb)

YES SPRACNE!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 24, 2014, 06:17:19 PM
So Ghandi, I dunno if you guys know, but he walked around barefoot most of the time.
He also ate very little, which made him very frail, and with his odd diet, suffered from bad breath...


This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.



 :surprised:



:ROFL:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 24, 2014, 06:19:38 PM
Oh man. Well, that's enough hilarity for one day. You guys have yourselves a nice evening.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: michigancat on June 24, 2014, 06:20:49 PM
I enjoyed them both
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 12:18:28 AM
Today I saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall. As he sneered at me, I thought, "That's a little condescending."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

So Ghandi, I dunno if you guys know, but he walked around barefoot most of the time.
He also ate very little, which made him very frail, and with his odd diet, suffered from bad breath...


This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.



 :surprised:



:ROFL:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 'taterblast on June 25, 2014, 01:08:31 PM
knock knock.

whos' there?

wah.

wah who?

good grief, calm down.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 25, 2014, 01:29:39 PM
Bill Clinton and mother teresa died at the same time. For some reason there was a mix up and MT was sent to hell and Bill was sent to heaven. As soon as God found this out, he quickly made the switch. As Bill was falling down and MT was rising up, MT asked Bill:

"Bill, please tell me! How was the virgin mary? Is she as glorious as i've heard?"

His response:

"Mother Teresa, all I know, is she is glorious and she isn't a virgin no more.  ;) :giggdygiggdy:"

 :lol: This is the only joke I knew as a kid. They told it all the time at my dads work.  :Ugh:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 01:38:10 PM
knock knock.

whos' there?

wah.

wah who?

good grief, calm down.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Its a 2 taco level on humor but 3 taco level for the "good grief"

Rule 1. Know your crowd.

Bill Clinton and mother teresa died at the same time. For some reason there was a mix up and MT was sent to hell and Bill was sent to heaven. As soon as God found this out, he quickly made the switch. As Bill was falling down and MT was rising up, MT asked Bill:

"Bill, please tell me! How was the virgin mary? Is she as glorious as i've heard?"

His response:

"Mother Teresa, all I know, is she is glorious and she isn't a virgin no more.  ;) :giggdygiggdy:"

 :lol: This is the only joke I knew as a kid. They told it all the time at my dads work.  :Ugh:

negative 1 tacos.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 25, 2014, 01:39:33 PM
what if he had used bill clinton voice?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 01:41:16 PM
what if he had used bill clinton voice?

negative 2 tacos. Bill Clinton is horny, George W Bush is stupid, etc are the lowest hanging fruit in humor. Presidential jokes are lame. They are Jay Leno material.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 25, 2014, 01:41:39 PM
:don'tcare:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 01:44:44 PM
The tacos mean something. I want you to feel like you've accomplished something if you get 5 taco'd. Even 4 tacos is something to be proud of. If I start handing out tacos like participation ribbons they lose value and have no meaning.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 25, 2014, 01:47:15 PM
Did I tell you guys about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? (stop me if you've heard this one)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on June 25, 2014, 01:49:14 PM

what if he had used bill clinton voice?

negative 2 tacos. Bill Clinton is horny, George W Bush is stupid, etc are the lowest hanging fruit in humor. Presidential jokes are lame. They are Jay Leno material.

I guess, then, that it wouldn't be prudent for me to share my H.W. Bush sidesplitter...
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 25, 2014, 01:49:58 PM
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog

 :sdeek:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 25, 2014, 01:51:15 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fx2.fjcdn.com%2Fthumbnails%2Fcomments%2Fi%2Bm%2BPutin%2Bthis%2Bin%2Bmy%2B.gif%2Bfolder%2B_2b17171d5bde8791041985bc4d74a47a.jpeg&hash=136af2a24f203a6f3595ba625d617ba11eec940c)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 01:52:13 PM

what if he had used bill clinton voice?

negative 2 tacos. Bill Clinton is horny, George W Bush is stupid, etc are the lowest hanging fruit in humor. Presidential jokes are lame. They are Jay Leno material.

I guess, then, that it wouldn't be prudent for me to share my H.W. Bush sidesplitter...

up to you but be prepared to live the the tacoquences
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 25, 2014, 01:53:45 PM
I just don't think he got it you guys. He banged her. Duh! :Ugh:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 01:54:41 PM
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog

 :sdeek:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: hatingfrancisco on June 25, 2014, 01:54:59 PM
How do you drown a hipster?




In the mainstream.

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 01:55:24 PM
How do you drown a hipster?




In the mainstream.

I liked it!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 01:56:00 PM
I just don't think he got it you guys. He banged her. Duh! :Ugh:

yeah we got it bud. not really a  head scratcher.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 25, 2014, 01:56:34 PM
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog

 :sdeek:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

yes! two rough ridin' tacos!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 25, 2014, 01:57:11 PM
How do you drown a hipster?




In the mainstream.



that's a really great joke.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Tobias on June 25, 2014, 01:58:42 PM
i liked it too
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 25, 2014, 01:59:04 PM
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog

 :sdeek:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

wacky, I don't think cartier got this joke either. I mean, he's an insomniac, so he's staying up most nights. Secondly, he's agnostic, so like, he's not sure about the whole god thing. Lastly, he's dyslexic, so when he wonders about god in the middle of the night, he has a tendency to spell the word "god", backwards, spelling it "dog". Hence the funny.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: hatingfrancisco on June 25, 2014, 02:02:00 PM
I've got another hipster joke.

Who was the first hipster?



You've probably never heard of him.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 02:02:36 PM
I've got another hipster joke.

Who was the first hipster?



You've probably never heard of him.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

MOAR
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 25, 2014, 02:04:01 PM
 Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
























 He drank low fat non whip frapp before it was cool.

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 25, 2014, 02:04:37 PM
 What happens when a Hipster falls?
























 They Tumblr


Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on June 25, 2014, 02:05:43 PM
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
























 He drank low fat non whip frapp before it was cool.



A frapp is a blended drink, aka served cold. /blow huge holes in hipster jokes with Stevesie60
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 25, 2014, 02:05:51 PM
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog

 :sdeek:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

wacky, I don't think cartier got this joke either. I mean, he's an insomniac, so he's staying up most nights. Secondly, he's agnostic, so like, he's not sure about the whole god thing. Lastly, he's dyslexic, so when he wonders about god in the middle of the night, he has a tendency to spell the word "god", backwards, spelling it "dog". Hence the funny.

of course, i'm not sure why he'd be spelling things that he's thinking about, but you know, you kind of have to deal with that logic gap for the joke to work.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 25, 2014, 02:06:41 PM
Why do hipsters love using the subway?
















Because its underground.



Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on June 25, 2014, 02:07:11 PM
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Some obscure number you've probably never heard of.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: hatingfrancisco on June 25, 2014, 02:11:13 PM
I've got another hipster joke.

Who was the first hipster?



You've probably never heard of him.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

MOAR

 :gocho:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 25, 2014, 02:12:29 PM
How many pages does it take for gE dweebs to make unfunny jokes?

Answer: 13

 :lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on June 25, 2014, 02:13:47 PM
If that statement is factual, then you're the only gE dweeb in this thread, fanning.

BURN!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 25, 2014, 02:14:28 PM
 :Ugh:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 25, 2014, 02:15:20 PM
bill clinton

sex

blowjob

a religious lady





now give me 72 tacos cf3
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: hatingfrancisco on June 25, 2014, 02:15:29 PM
 :ROFL:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Tobias on June 25, 2014, 02:16:26 PM
:lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 02:21:55 PM
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
























 He drank low fat non whip frapp before it was cool.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b) Stevesie is right this is inaccurate. Hipsters drink black coffee.


What happens when a Hipster falls?
























 They Tumblr




(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Some obscure number you've probably never heard of.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

I dunno guys these hipster jokes are all really the same joke
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 02:22:47 PM
How many pages does it take for gE dweebs to make unfunny jokes?

Answer: 13

 :lol:

fanning you really are a nerd sometimes
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 02:23:01 PM
If that statement is factual, then you're the only gE dweeb in this thread, fanning.

BURN!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: hatingfrancisco on June 25, 2014, 02:24:35 PM
I dunno guys these hipster jokes are all really the same joke

I know cf3.  That's why I stopped at 2.

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 02:24:39 PM
bill clinton

sex

blowjob

a religious lady





now give me 72 tacos cf3

 :lol:

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Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 25, 2014, 02:35:33 PM
how many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?

you cant touch the toilet, idiot. its art.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on June 25, 2014, 02:36:30 PM
If that statement is factual, then you're the only gE dweeb in this thread, fanning.

BURN!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Those two tacos probably have tons of hot sauce because of my sick burn tho, right?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 02:38:57 PM
If that statement is factual, then you're the only gE dweeb in this thread, fanning.

BURN!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Those two tacos probably have tons of hot sauce because of my sick burn tho, right?

(https://trello.com/images/gold/hotsauce.png)(https://trello.com/images/gold/hotsauce.png)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 25, 2014, 02:40:53 PM
bill clinton

sex

blowjob

a religious lady





now give me 72 tacos cf3

 :lol:

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:dubious:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 02:42:50 PM
how many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?

you cant touch the toilet, idiot. its art.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 25, 2014, 02:50:32 PM
What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun?



Luke warm.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 25, 2014, 03:00:18 PM
 :lol: man fanning just doesnt get "it" guys
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 25, 2014, 03:01:59 PM
:lol: man fanning just doesnt get "it" guys
I get it, just having fun with my IRL friend, cf3 :)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: KSUblumpkin on June 25, 2014, 03:02:42 PM
The concept of zero tacos confuses me.  How can you have any tacos (or taco) if there are zero of them?  It is just a nebulous concept that is all.

Also, I think Syphilis is a beautiful sounding word if it weren't attached to a horrible sexually transmitted disease.

 :th_twocents:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 25, 2014, 03:07:57 PM
The concept of zero tacos confuses me.  How can you have any tacos (or taco) if there are zero of them?  It is just a nebulous concept that is all.

Also, I think Syphilis is a beautiful sounding word if it weren't attached to a horrible sexually transmitted disease.

 :th_twocents:

zero is a number
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 03:17:31 PM
The concept of zero tacos confuses me.  How can you have any tacos (or taco) if there are zero of them?  It is just a nebulous concept that is all.

Also, I think Syphilis is a beautiful sounding word if it weren't attached to a horrible sexually transmitted disease.

 :th_twocents:

thread title. 0 to 5 tacos.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 03:18:15 PM
What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun?



Luke warm.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)


Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 25, 2014, 03:22:12 PM
Why don't crabs give to charity?





Because they are shelfish.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: KSUblumpkin on June 25, 2014, 03:29:05 PM
The concept of zero tacos confuses me.  How can you have any tacos (or taco) if there are zero of them?  It is just a nebulous concept that is all.

Also, I think Syphilis is a beautiful sounding word if it weren't attached to a horrible sexually transmitted disease.

 :th_twocents:

zero is a number

Zero is a number, but zero of something is nothing.  Proper scale should be 1 to 5 tacos. 
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: KSUblumpkin on June 25, 2014, 03:30:14 PM
The concept of zero tacos confuses me.  How can you have any tacos (or taco) if there are zero of them?  It is just a nebulous concept that is all.

Also, I think Syphilis is a beautiful sounding word if it weren't attached to a horrible sexually transmitted disease.

 :th_twocents:

thread title. 0 to 5 tacos.

I am just trying to make the taco scale legitimate (like MC Hammer too legit to quit level of legit).
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 03:30:49 PM
The scale is perfect.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 25, 2014, 03:32:10 PM
Kick his ass, blumps!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: KSUblumpkin on June 25, 2014, 03:51:50 PM
The scale is perfect.

If the scale is perfect, why did you give out 72 tacos for the Bill Clinton sexy bj joke when the scale is 0 to 5 tacos?  I am just worried about the internal consistency, reliability and validity of your scale CF3.  I like tacos and I just want the taco level to reflect something meaningfully funny.  I want to know that when I see a three taco rating that it really means three tacos and not reflection of the biases you view the joke with.  5 point Likert scales are tricky you know?  I just want your interval level taco scale to reflect a true rating of humor via taco visuals and I worry about the inter joke rating correlations.

I think we owe tacos around the world the respect they deserve.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 25, 2014, 03:58:14 PM
BOOM!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: hatingfrancisco on June 25, 2014, 04:00:30 PM
The scale is perfect.

If the scale is perfect, why did you give out 72 tacos for the Bill Clinton sexy bj joke when the scale is 0 to 5 tacos?  I am just worried about the internal consistency, reliability and validity of your scale CF3.  I like tacos and I just want the taco level to reflect something meaningfully funny.  I want to know that when I see a three taco rating that it really means three tacos and not reflection of the biases you view the joke with.  5 point Likert scales are tricky you know?  I just want your interval level reflects humor and I worry about the inter joke rating correlations.

KSLIM basically told 20 jokes with those basic punchlines.  72/20=3.6 tacos

3.6 tacos per joke
20 jokes
72 tacos.



Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 25, 2014, 04:02:04 PM
BOOM



also virgins
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Tobias on June 25, 2014, 04:02:42 PM
great scale CF3
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 25, 2014, 04:15:09 PM
is the standard 7 point scale from 1-7 or 0-7?  gotta be zero-7, right?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: KSUblumpkin on June 25, 2014, 04:16:00 PM
I love the taco scale.  I love tacos.  I love jokes too so the taco scale is fusing two huge passions of mine.  I just saw that the scale contained 0 which is typical of a ratio level scale.  However, I noticed the actual taco scale was an interval level (closer to ordinal level) and my hope is to take this thing global with scientifically founded principles based on the psychometric properties of the taco scale.   
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: KSUblumpkin on June 25, 2014, 04:23:41 PM
is the standard 7 point scale from 1-7 or 0-7?  gotta be zero-7, right?

Standard is 1 to 7 unless ratio level.  0 to 7 actually contains 7 intervals: 0 to 1, 1 to 2, 2 to 3, 3 to 4, 4 to 5, 5 to 6 and 6 to 7. The assumption of this type of scale is that each interval is equivalent and zero has a meaning.  Take the Celsius scale.  0 degrees Celsius is freezing and has meaning.  The interval between 0 to 1 degree Celsius has meaning in that it takes so many Joules of energy to raise anything that 1 degree (varying on the type of matter).  The taco scale is more like a ordinal scale similar to NCAA rankings.  The distance between intervals is perplexing and 0 means nothing.  I am just trying to help take the taco scale to the next level.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Tobias on June 25, 2014, 04:49:20 PM
blumpz gonna blump
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 04:51:18 PM
If I hear one more thing about my taco scale I am gonna shut this whole thing down and never taco another joke. You'd have to live with that, that you deprived the earth of something so awesome like taco'ing a joke.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mocat on June 25, 2014, 04:56:11 PM
i want 2 tacos (IRL)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 25, 2014, 04:57:12 PM
i want 2 tacos (IRL)

Pretty sure Pete's got a no spin thread for you
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 'taterblast on June 25, 2014, 05:02:29 PM
i had beef tongue tacos for lunch today
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: michigancat on June 25, 2014, 05:04:21 PM
I had one lengua and two carnitas yesterday. (Taco Tuesday).
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 25, 2014, 05:05:00 PM
what's brown and sticky?


































a stick
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 25, 2014, 05:11:21 PM
where does a general keep his armies?                   

in his sleevies
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Benja on June 25, 2014, 09:42:50 PM
The concept of zero tacos confuses me.  How can you have any tacos (or taco) if there are zero of them?  It is just a nebulous concept that is all.

Also, I think Syphilis is a beautiful sounding word if it weren't attached to a horrible sexually transmitted disease.

 :th_twocents:

zero is a number

Zero is a number, but zero of something is nothing.  Proper scale should be 1 to 5 tacos. 

you get zero tacos if your joke sucks. none. zero. you go home taco-less. the world does not owe you a taco.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: ShocksNPlow216 on June 25, 2014, 10:16:08 PM
CF3, J-Dub, and Wacky all go to a Royals game, on the way home a semi hits them and they die. They all get up to heaven and meet St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter said "Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don't step on a duck." The gates open and there are ducks everywhere, all over the floor, on tabletops, everywhere. CF3 walks in and accidentally steps on a duck. St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the ugliest woman in all the world and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed for all eternity." J-Dub and Wacky see this and do their best to avoid the ducks. J-Dub goes months and months without stepping on any duck. Then one morning he wakes up and as he is getting out of bed he steps on two ducks. St. Peter comes over and handcuffs him to the most atrocious looking and smelling woman and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Now Wacky goes years and years and doesn't step on any ducks in all that time. Then one day St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the most beautiful woman he as ever seen. St. Peter says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Wacky happily says, "Oh my God, what have I done to deserve this?!" And the woman says, "I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."

Also going for some irony tacos here as Wacky is probably a solid 8 IRL.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 25, 2014, 10:21:05 PM
Pow!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on June 25, 2014, 10:36:11 PM
topical  :lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 25, 2014, 10:55:02 PM
0 tacos means the joke is not funny at all. How hard is that to understand?
Also, I think it might be a logarithmic scale.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on June 26, 2014, 05:49:06 AM
A pirate walks into a bar.
He has the ship's steering wheel hanging from his pants.
The bartender is puzzled, and says, "Do you know that you have a steering wheel hanging from your pants, Sir?"
The pirate says,........









 "ARGH - It's driving me nuts!"





(luked? IDGAF)

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 26, 2014, 07:51:10 AM
a baby seal walked into the club
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 26, 2014, 08:15:42 AM
Why don't crabs give to charity?





Because they are shelfish.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

what's brown and sticky?


































a stick

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

where does a general keep his armies?                   

in his sleevies

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

CF3, J-Dub, and Wacky all go to a Royals game, on the way home a semi hits them and they die. They all get up to heaven and meet St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter said "Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don't step on a duck." The gates open and there are ducks everywhere, all over the floor, on tabletops, everywhere. CF3 walks in and accidentally steps on a duck. St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the ugliest woman in all the world and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed for all eternity." J-Dub and Wacky see this and do their best to avoid the ducks. J-Dub goes months and months without stepping on any duck. Then one morning he wakes up and as he is getting out of bed he steps on two ducks. St. Peter comes over and handcuffs him to the most atrocious looking and smelling woman and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Now Wacky goes years and years and doesn't step on any ducks in all that time. Then one day St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the most beautiful woman he as ever seen. St. Peter says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Wacky happily says, "Oh my God, what have I done to deserve this?!" And the woman says, "I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."

Also going for some irony tacos here as Wacky is probably a solid 8 IRL.

You were an Alex Smith zing away from 5 of these bad boys
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

A pirate walks into a bar.
He has the ship's steering wheel hanging from his pants.
The bartender is puzzled, and says, "Do you know that you have a steering wheel hanging from your pants, Sir?"
The pirate says,........









 "ARGH - It's driving me nuts!"





(luked? IDGAF)



Luked.

a baby seal walked into the club

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on June 26, 2014, 08:31:52 AM
you guys- think of it like cf3 is actually handing out real life honest to goodness tacos. should someone that tells a horrible joke get a free taco? i would say no or else what would keep someone from just telling five horrible jokes every morning and then having a free lunch. nothing would is the answer. you tell a bad joke, you get nothing. nothing.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 26, 2014, 08:39:42 AM
Why don't crabs give to charity?





Because they are shelfish.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

what's brown and sticky?


































a stick

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

where does a general keep his armies?                   

in his sleevies

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

CF3, J-Dub, and Wacky all go to a Royals game, on the way home a semi hits them and they die. They all get up to heaven and meet St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter said "Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don't step on a duck." The gates open and there are ducks everywhere, all over the floor, on tabletops, everywhere. CF3 walks in and accidentally steps on a duck. St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the ugliest woman in all the world and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed for all eternity." J-Dub and Wacky see this and do their best to avoid the ducks. J-Dub goes months and months without stepping on any duck. Then one morning he wakes up and as he is getting out of bed he steps on two ducks. St. Peter comes over and handcuffs him to the most atrocious looking and smelling woman and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Now Wacky goes years and years and doesn't step on any ducks in all that time. Then one day St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the most beautiful woman he as ever seen. St. Peter says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Wacky happily says, "Oh my God, what have I done to deserve this?!" And the woman says, "I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."

Also going for some irony tacos here as Wacky is probably a solid 8 IRL.

You were an Alex Smith zing away from 5 of these bad boys
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

A pirate walks into a bar.
He has the ship's steering wheel hanging from his pants.
The bartender is puzzled, and says, "Do you know that you have a steering wheel hanging from your pants, Sir?"
The pirate says,........









 "ARGH - It's driving me nuts!"





(luked? IDGAF)



Luked.

a baby seal walked into the club

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

This confirms my logarithmic scale theory.

The general one was only slightly more funny than my crab joke. But the one about Wacky being ugly was much more funny than the general one.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Asteriskhead on June 26, 2014, 08:58:57 AM
Likert scale, blumps? What is this, a research methods course?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 26, 2014, 09:00:44 AM
i think you are probably just grumpy from all this debate and it caused you to under taco my jokes.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 26, 2014, 09:02:15 AM
i think you are probably just grumpy from all this debate and it caused you to under taco my jokes.

I'm the most unbiased Taco'r in the world bro
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 26, 2014, 09:03:19 AM
i think you are probably just grumpy from all this debate and it caused you to under taco my jokes.

I'm the most unbiased Taco'r in the world bro

sleevies

come on

sleevies
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 26, 2014, 09:05:54 AM
CF3, J-Dub, and Wacky all go to a Royals game, on the way home a semi hits them and they die. They all get up to heaven and meet St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter said "Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don't step on a duck." The gates open and there are ducks everywhere, all over the floor, on tabletops, everywhere. CF3 walks in and accidentally steps on a duck. St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the ugliest woman in all the world and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed for all eternity." J-Dub and Wacky see this and do their best to avoid the ducks. J-Dub goes months and months without stepping on any duck. Then one morning he wakes up and as he is getting out of bed he steps on two ducks. St. Peter comes over and handcuffs him to the most atrocious looking and smelling woman and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Now Wacky goes years and years and doesn't step on any ducks in all that time. Then one day St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the most beautiful woman he as ever seen. St. Peter says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Wacky happily says, "Oh my God, what have I done to deserve this?!" And the woman says, "I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."

Also going for some irony tacos here as Wacky is probably a solid 8 IRL.
:lol: :love:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on June 26, 2014, 09:19:10 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BrD7OQDCUAA-gH_.jpg)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 26, 2014, 09:19:55 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BrD7OQDCUAA-gH_.jpg)

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: KSUblumpkin on June 26, 2014, 10:34:33 AM
I slept on it and had a dream about zero tacos.  It then clicked for me.  I wasn't putting faith in the CF3 taco scale, but now I am all in. 
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 26, 2014, 01:33:14 PM
you guys- think of it like cf3 is actually handing out real life honest to goodness tacos. should someone that tells a horrible joke get a free taco? i would say no or else what would keep someone from just telling five horrible jokes every morning and then having a free lunch. nothing would is the answer. you tell a bad joke, you get nothing. nothing.
id be a really full hombre
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Emo EMAW on June 30, 2014, 03:11:23 PM
Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day.
Sid asks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico ?"
Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."

When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"
The waiter says, "I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.
 
" He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says,
"No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews."
 
Abe isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?"
The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "Gringos" replies,
"I check once again, senor," and goes back into the kitchen.
 
While the waiter is away, Sid says,
"I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico ..
Our people are scattered everywhere."
 
The waiter returns and says,
"Senor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews."
 
"Are you certain?" Abe asks again. "I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"
 
"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter.
"All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Apple Jews,
 but no Mexican Jews."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on June 30, 2014, 03:13:20 PM
boooooooooo
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Pete on June 30, 2014, 03:22:16 PM
I have a joke to tell CF3 in person, which requires physical presence.  I will have him post the tacos here.  STAY TUNED!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Brock Landers on June 30, 2014, 03:31:13 PM

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning!!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on June 30, 2014, 05:05:05 PM
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian or Spanish, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 30, 2014, 10:09:22 PM
Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day.
Sid asks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico ?"
Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."

When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"
The waiter says, "I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.
 
" He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says,
"No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews."
 
Abe isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?"
The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "Gringos" replies,
"I check once again, senor," and goes back into the kitchen.
 
While the waiter is away, Sid says,
"I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico ..
Our people are scattered everywhere."
 
The waiter returns and says,
"Senor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews."
 
"Are you certain?" Abe asks again. "I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"
 
"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter.
"All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Apple Jews,
 but no Mexican Jews."

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)


Knock Knock

Who's There?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning!!

Dwayne the bathtub I'm Dwowning and Orange you glad I didn't say banana are so old man.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian or Spanish, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on June 30, 2014, 10:09:55 PM
I have a joke to tell CF3 in person, which requires physical presence.  I will have him post the tacos here.  STAY TUNED!

 :Wha:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Brock Landers on July 01, 2014, 10:47:58 AM

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning!!

Dwayne the bathtub I'm Dwowning and Orange you glad I didn't say banana are so old man.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)



My grandfather's name is Dwayne and this is probably the first knock-knock joke he ever told me, so it will always be a 5 taco joke to me.

Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Pete on July 01, 2014, 11:06:21 AM

I have a joke to tell CF3 in person, which requires physical presence.  I will have him post the tacos here.  STAY TUNED!

 :Wha:

False alarm, someone already told it earlier!
Title: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on July 21, 2014, 08:52:29 PM
Military guy and his wife have a ton of kids together. Every time he gets a 3-day pass... Boom 39 weeks later they have another baby. Guys in his platoon give him all sorts of grief about this and he is really embarrassed by the number of kids they have. He comes up with a plan and the next time he is home on a 3-day he tells his wife, "the next time you have a baby, just leave word that you had sauerkraut or something like that. All of the guys are really giving me a hard time about all of our kids, so I don't want them to know the next time we have another."

So, 39 weeks later, our military dude comes into the base after a long day of doing whatever military guys do during the day and he has a message from his wife. The message says, "I had sauer kraut kraut kraut. Two with wieners and one without."


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 21, 2014, 10:44:25 PM
Military guy and his wife have a ton of kids together. Every time he gets a 3-day pass... Boom 39 weeks later they have another baby. Guys in his platoon give him all sorts of grief about this and he is really embarrassed by the number of kids they have. He comes up with a plan and the next time he is home on a 3-day he tells his wife, "the next time you have a baby, just leave word that you had sauerkraut or something like that. All of the guys are really giving me a hard time about all of our kids, so I don't want them to know the next time we have another."

So, 39 weeks later, our military dude comes into the base after a long day of doing whatever military guys do during the day and he has a message from his wife. The message says, "I had sauer kraut kraut kraut. Two with wieners and one without."


Gonna win 'em all!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on July 22, 2014, 07:58:08 PM
If you would have heard my mom tell that joke you would have given it 5 tacos. It was Momdobber's "go to " back in the day.


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 22, 2014, 09:25:23 PM
The delivery really is a lost element when taco'ing blogged jokes dobber. We're all working within the limitations we're given unfortunately
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on July 22, 2014, 09:26:44 PM
The delivery really is a lost element when taco'ing blogged jokes dobber. We're all working within the limitations we're given unfortunately

did you see the hellhammer thread?  pretty great delivery that would not be appreciated at all in straight text bbsn' form
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 22, 2014, 09:28:01 PM
I'll check it out seven thanks for the tip
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on July 22, 2014, 09:28:43 PM
I'll check it out seven thanks for the tip

make sure the little ones are in bed before you open that thread
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 22, 2014, 09:29:47 PM
seven there's no way that was five taco worthy
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on July 22, 2014, 09:30:34 PM
seven there's no way that was five taco worthy

ya, prolly 4, but i really laughed and smiled at it so benefit of the doubt 5 man, you know how it is
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 22, 2014, 09:31:38 PM
that's the thing about taco'ing a joke. Its all about if it makes YOU laugh.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: WillieWatanabe on July 29, 2014, 09:41:38 PM
The programmer's wife tells him... "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 29, 2014, 09:44:23 PM
The programmer's wife tells him... "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on July 29, 2014, 10:02:18 PM

The programmer's wife tells him... "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Oh come on....
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on July 29, 2014, 10:33:55 PM
I'd have to reread all of gE to be certain, but this seems like nepotism. That rough ridin' kraut kraut kraut joke kills every damn time and if got like 1 or 2 tacos. Bullshit.


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 29, 2014, 11:23:57 PM
slobber I reread that joke 3 times trying to see why it was even considered a joke. 1+ tacos is generous.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kim carnes on July 29, 2014, 11:27:27 PM
The programmer's wife tells him... "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Tobias on July 29, 2014, 11:32:17 PM

The programmer's wife tells him... "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

that's good
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on July 30, 2014, 04:47:12 AM

slobber I reread that joke 3 times trying to see why it was even considered a joke. 1+ tacos is generous.
Well you're considered a real funny joke. 5 tacos.


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mocat on July 30, 2014, 09:25:07 AM
why is he a programmer?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2014, 09:55:25 AM
Last time I checked the thread is called "CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos" not "CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos and then everyone complains about how many tacos their mediocre washed up old jokes got like a bunch of stupid babies"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bqqkie Pimp on July 30, 2014, 10:20:05 AM
A little boy sees his grandpa smoking a cigar on the porch and asks for a puff.  Grandpa says, "Son, can you touch your bad person with your pecker?" and the little boy says "no".  Grandpa replies, "Well, then you're not old enough to puff a cigar".

A couple days later the little boy sees his grandpa drinking a beer on the porch and asks for a sip.  Grandpa says, "Son, can you touch your bad person with your pecker?" and the little boy says "no".  Grandpa replies, "Well, then you're not old enough to drink beer".

The next day, the little boy is sitting on the porch with a plateful of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies that grandma made when grandpa sits down and asks for a cookie.  The little boy says, "Grandpa, can you touch your bad person with your pecker?" and grandpa says proudly, "As a matter of fact, I can!"

The little boy says, "In that case, you can go eff yourself. Grandma made these cookies for me!"



Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2014, 11:32:05 AM
A little boy sees his grandpa smoking a cigar on the porch and asks for a puff.  Grandpa says, "Son, can you touch your bad person with your pecker?" and the little boy says "no".  Grandpa replies, "Well, then you're not old enough to puff a cigar".

A couple days later the little boy sees his grandpa drinking a beer on the porch and asks for a sip.  Grandpa says, "Son, can you touch your bad person with your pecker?" and the little boy says "no".  Grandpa replies, "Well, then you're not old enough to drink beer".

The next day, the little boy is sitting on the porch with a plateful of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies that grandma made when grandpa sits down and asks for a cookie.  The little boy says, "Grandpa, can you touch your bad person with your pecker?" and grandpa says proudly, "As a matter of fact, I can!"

The little boy says, "In that case, you can go eff yourself. Grandma made these cookies for me!"

That guy is a horrible grandpa

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Ghost of Stan Parrish on July 30, 2014, 11:33:18 AM
Roman soldier walks in a bar and says I'll have a martinus. Bartender says "a martini?" Soldier says if I wanted more than one I would have said so. Little while later another soldier walks in, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have five beers.

IMHO, this deserved way more than one taco.  So did the H2O2 joke.

**************

So I run into this guy at a bar who tell me he has a talking dog.  Like, actually speaks Engligh.  Of course I don't believe him, but he says the dog is tied up outside, so we go out to see the dog.

"Ask my dog anything you want, you'll see," the guy says.  Rolling my eyes, I ask his dog: "What's on top of a house?"

"Roof!" says the dog.

Hey that's amazing!!  But I still have a little bit of doubt, so I ask the dog: "Where do golfers want to avoid hitting the ball?"

"Rough!" says the dog.

BOOOM!  Mind.  Blown.  "Alright," I say to the guy, "I believe you, I've just got to ask one more question because this is amazing!"  So I ask the dog: "What's a good tourist spot in San Fransisco?"

"Wharf!" says the dog, "Fisherman's Wharf."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2014, 11:36:25 AM
Roman soldier walks in a bar and says I'll have a martinus. Bartender says "a martini?" Soldier says if I wanted more than one I would have said so. Little while later another soldier walks in, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have five beers.

IMHO, this deserved way more than one taco.  So did the H2O2 joke.



If one more person complains about how many tacos I taco a joke I will never taco again. Get over it. I taco the way I want to taco.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2014, 11:36:53 AM
Roman soldier walks in a bar and says I'll have a martinus. Bartender says "a martini?" Soldier says if I wanted more than one I would have said so. Little while later another soldier walks in, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have five beers.

IMHO, this deserved way more than one taco.  So did the H2O2 joke.

**************

So I run into this guy at a bar who tell me he has a talking dog.  Like, actually speaks Engligh.  Of course I don't believe him, but he says the dog is tied up outside, so we go out to see the dog.

"Ask my dog anything you want, you'll see," the guy says.  Rolling my eyes, I ask his dog: "What's on top of a house?"

"Roof!" says the dog.

Hey that's amazing!!  But I still have a little bit of doubt, so I ask the dog: "Where do golfers want to avoid hitting the ball?"

"Rough!" says the dog.

BOOOM!  Mind.  Blown.  "Alright," I say to the guy, "I believe you, I've just got to ask one more question because this is amazing!"  So I ask the dog: "What's a good tourist spot in San Fransisco?"

"Wharf!" says the dog, "Fisherman's Wharf."

so old

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 30, 2014, 11:38:53 AM
Roman soldier walks in a bar and says I'll have a martinus. Bartender says "a martini?" Soldier says if I wanted more than one I would have said so. Little while later another soldier walks in, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have five beers.

IMHO, this deserved way more than one taco.  So did the H2O2 joke.

**************

So I run into this guy at a bar who tell me he has a talking dog.  Like, actually speaks Engligh.  Of course I don't believe him, but he says the dog is tied up outside, so we go out to see the dog.

"Ask my dog anything you want, you'll see," the guy says.  Rolling my eyes, I ask his dog: "What's on top of a house?"

"Roof!" says the dog.

Hey that's amazing!!  But I still have a little bit of doubt, so I ask the dog: "Where do golfers want to avoid hitting the ball?"

"Rough!" says the dog.

BOOOM!  Mind.  Blown.  "Alright," I say to the guy, "I believe you, I've just got to ask one more question because this is amazing!"  So I ask the dog: "What's a good tourist spot in San Fransisco?"

"Wharf!" says the dog, "Fisherman's Wharf."

so old

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

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Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 30, 2014, 11:39:19 AM
Roman soldier walks in a bar and says I'll have a martinus. Bartender says "a martini?" Soldier says if I wanted more than one I would have said so. Little while later another soldier walks in, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have five beers.

IMHO, this deserved way more than one taco.  So did the H2O2 joke.



If one more person complains about how many tacos I taco a joke I will never taco again. Get over it. I taco the way I want to taco.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on July 30, 2014, 11:42:25 AM
What does the man in the moon do when his hair gets too long?



 Eclipse it!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2014, 11:52:01 AM
What does the man in the moon do when his hair gets too long?



 Eclipse it!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mocat on July 30, 2014, 12:49:39 PM
CF3, maybe you didn't get the part where the Roman soldier held up TWO fingers and asked for FIVE beers. ROMAN NUMERAL FIVE!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on July 30, 2014, 01:22:45 PM
CF3, maybe you didn't get the part where the Roman soldier held up TWO fingers and asked for FIVE beers. ROMAN NUMERAL FIVE!
:thumbs:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2014, 02:57:15 PM
CF3, maybe you didn't get the part where the Roman soldier held up TWO fingers and asked for FIVE beers. ROMAN NUMERAL FIVE!

trust the process mocat
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mocat on July 30, 2014, 03:17:50 PM
CF3, maybe you didn't get the part where the Roman soldier held up TWO fingers and asked for FIVE beers. ROMAN NUMERAL FIVE!

trust the process mocat

yeah i guess i should give you the bonifacio of the doubt here
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2014, 03:19:53 PM
CF3, maybe you didn't get the part where the Roman soldier held up TWO fingers and asked for FIVE beers. ROMAN NUMERAL FIVE!

trust the process mocat

yeah i guess i should give you the bonifacio of the doubt here

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mocat on July 30, 2014, 03:24:41 PM
in a way, it feels like i earned 5 tacos with that joke
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2014, 03:31:06 PM
in a way, it feels like i earned 5 tacos with that joke

Rule 1: Know your audience.


(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 30, 2014, 03:36:50 PM
cartier, i know your taco'ing is based off a complicated algorithmic formula matrices, but i was wondering if you could provide some insight on if topicality plays a part?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on July 30, 2014, 03:41:48 PM
in a way, it feels like i earned 5 tacos with that joke

Rule 1: Know your audience.


(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)
ya know? i dont think 72 tacos is ever going to be beat...and im okay with that
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on July 30, 2014, 03:46:28 PM
CF3, maybe you didn't get the part where the Roman soldier held up TWO fingers and asked for FIVE beers. ROMAN NUMERAL FIVE!

It took me unusually long to get this joke the first time.  I actually walked into the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror, held up 2 fingers and said, "I'll have 5 beers."  Then I :lol:

Definitely a joke that's easier to grasp face-to-face
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Emo EMAW on July 30, 2014, 03:50:03 PM
CF3, maybe you didn't get the part where the Roman soldier held up TWO fingers and asked for FIVE beers. ROMAN NUMERAL FIVE!

It took me unusually long to get this joke the first time.  I actually walked into the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror, held up 2 fingers and said, "I'll have 5 beers."  Then I :lol:

Definitely a joke that's easier to grasp face-to-face

That God for symmetry. 
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2014, 04:04:07 PM
cartier, i know your taco'ing is based off a complicated algorithmic formula matrices, but i was wondering if you could provide some insight on if topicality plays a part?

It absolutely does Tonya. It factors up to and including about 31.1% of the eventual taco outcome
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 30, 2014, 04:09:32 PM
cartier, i know your taco'ing is based off a complicated algorithmic formula matrices, but i was wondering if you could provide some insight on if topicality plays a part?

It absolutely does Tonya. It factors up to and including about 31.1% of the eventual taco outcome

ah, the metric system. you sneaky bastard!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on July 30, 2014, 05:10:01 PM
4 nuns die in a car crash (because they had just went through Taco Bell drive thru and the driver was an uncoordinated nub fan and couldn't drive and eat tacos at the same time). They go up to heaven and St. Peter meets them at the pearly gates. The first nun steps up to St. Peter and he says, "Tell me the worst thing you have ever done and that will determine whether or not you can enter the gates of heaven." She says, "Oh St. Peter, I once did a very horrible thing. I once touched a man's penis with this finger. I beg for forgiveness." St. Peter says, "my child, your acknowledgement of such a horrible act is penance enough. Simply wash your finger in this fountain of holy water and enter the gates of heaven."
The second nun steps up to St Peter and he says, "Tell me the worst thing you have ever done and that will determine whether or not you can enter the gates of heaven." She says, "Oh St. Peter, I once did a very horrible thing. I once grabbed a man's penis with this hand. I beg for forgiveness." St. Peter says, "my child, your acknowledgement of such a horrible act is penance enough. Simply wash your hand in this fountain of holy water and enter the gates of heaven."
At that moment St. Peter sees the 4th nun cut in front of the third nun and hurriedly approach him at the entrance gates. St. Peter inquires, "My Sister, why the rudeness with your Sister?"
The 4th nun replies, "St Peter, I am terribly sorry, but I don't want to have to gargle with what she is going to have to sit in."


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on July 30, 2014, 07:35:42 PM
Omg!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on July 30, 2014, 08:28:20 PM

Omg!
I know , right?!
...:waiting:


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on July 30, 2014, 08:30:57 PM

Omg!
I know , right?!
...:waiting:


Gonna win 'em all!
I'm guessing 3. That CF3 is a fickle fella.

(Also in that honest opinion thread from couple months ago, I got you confused with stunted. He was the dude that had been to Asia)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on July 30, 2014, 08:33:39 PM


Omg!
I know , right?!
...:waiting:


Gonna win 'em all!
I'm guessing 3. That CF3 is a fickle fella.

(Also in that honest opinion thread from couple months ago, I got you confused with stunted. He was the dude that had been to Asia)
the addition of the Taco Bell drive thru will get me 4.


I don't remember the Asia reference.


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on July 30, 2014, 09:04:45 PM


Omg!
I know , right?!
...:waiting:


Gonna win 'em all!
I'm guessing 3. That CF3 is a fickle fella.

(Also in that honest opinion thread from couple months ago, I got you confused with stunted. He was the dude that had been to Asia)
the addition of the Taco Bell drive thru will get me 4.


I don't remember the Asia reference.


Gonna win 'em all!
http://goEMAW.com/forum/index.php?topic=32191.msg1121507.msg#1121507 (http://goEMAW.com/forum/index.php?topic=32191.msg1121507.msg#1121507)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2014, 10:11:22 PM
4 nuns die in a car crash (because they had just went through Taco Bell drive thru and the driver was an uncoordinated nub fan and couldn't drive and eat tacos at the same time). They go up to heaven and St. Peter meets them at the pearly gates. The first nun steps up to St. Peter and he says, "Tell me the worst thing you have ever done and that will determine whether or not you can enter the gates of heaven." She says, "Oh St. Peter, I once did a very horrible thing. I once touched a man's penis with this finger. I beg for forgiveness." St. Peter says, "my child, your acknowledgement of such a horrible act is penance enough. Simply wash your finger in this fountain of holy water and enter the gates of heaven."
The second nun steps up to St Peter and he says, "Tell me the worst thing you have ever done and that will determine whether or not you can enter the gates of heaven." She says, "Oh St. Peter, I once did a very horrible thing. I once grabbed a man's penis with this hand. I beg for forgiveness." St. Peter says, "my child, your acknowledgement of such a horrible act is penance enough. Simply wash your hand in this fountain of holy water and enter the gates of heaven."
At that moment St. Peter sees the 4th nun cut in front of the third nun and hurriedly approach him at the entrance gates. St. Peter inquires, "My Sister, why the rudeness with your Sister?"
The 4th nun replies, "St Peter, I am terribly sorry, but I don't want to have to gargle with what she is going to have to sit in."


Gonna win 'em all!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.f2bb.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Ftaco.gif&hash=0a4d8439c2cbd614ad21add23b9689bf36095b0b)

Its a 3 taco joke, with a T-Bell and nub fan thrown in. Good work dobs
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on July 30, 2014, 10:12:30 PM
Ah yes, "tales of love in Asia..."  Thanks for reminding me. I :lol: again!


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on July 30, 2014, 10:14:51 PM
:pride: 


:blush:


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on July 31, 2014, 06:54:48 PM
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on August 01, 2014, 05:38:39 AM
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles
What about a squid?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on August 10, 2014, 06:53:15 PM
How much does a hipster weigh?


















A instagram!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: deputy dawg on August 11, 2014, 12:21:35 PM
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
 
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Institutional Control on August 18, 2014, 08:39:59 PM
Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 19, 2014, 08:38:55 AM
A guy is sitting at a bar alone and he hears some whispers "Nice shirt." "I like your haircut." "You have nice eyes."
He looks all around and there is no one around him. A minute later the bartender walks over so the guy says, "Do you hear those whispers?"


The bartender says, "It's the nuts. They're complimentary."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Institutional Control on August 19, 2014, 08:51:56 AM
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!”
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on August 20, 2014, 08:12:02 PM
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!”

I like this one
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: hatingfrancisco on August 20, 2014, 10:22:06 PM
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles

I started counting in my head for some dumb reason.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: HerrSonntag on August 22, 2014, 10:19:15 AM
Theres this guy hosting a big costume party in his swanky uptown apartment one evening when he notices one of his guests has arrived wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans.  The host walks up to the man to inquire what the guest is supposed to be. 
"Oh, i'm a premature ejaculation." Replies the guest.
Puzzled, the man probes further "Huh, well then why did you arrive not wearing a shirt or even any shoes, for God's sake?"
"I just came in my pants."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Fldermaus on August 22, 2014, 09:42:48 PM
What the fundamental difference between the American Chemical Society and the Teamsters?

How they pronounce "unionized"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: steve dave on August 22, 2014, 09:45:22 PM
knock knock

who's there

to

to who

no, to whom
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on August 22, 2014, 09:45:45 PM
Haha to both
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bqqkie Pimp on August 25, 2014, 12:01:11 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BeG7SWwCEAAwx-O.jpg:large)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: cDubya on August 25, 2014, 06:36:58 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BeG7SWwCEAAwx-O.jpg:large)

 :lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on August 25, 2014, 06:51:35 PM
All that bacteria in that pond, algae, protists.... brave women....
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mhkpasa on August 26, 2014, 11:34:36 AM
Someone should probably type in Matt Ryan's dad joke from Hard Knocks Ep 3 for a CF3 review :notit:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on August 26, 2014, 11:37:27 AM
Someone should probably type in Matt Ryan's dad joke from Hard Knocks Ep 3 for a CF3 review :notit:
:buh-bye:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 26, 2014, 11:49:59 AM
I will taco these today fellas
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Institutional Control on August 26, 2014, 02:32:04 PM
Do I know any jokes about Sodium? Na.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Brock Landers on August 26, 2014, 03:21:50 PM
Do I know any jokes about Sodium? Na.


I think we already laughed our asses off to this one in the Sciency Pictures thread??
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 27, 2014, 09:47:40 AM
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mocat on August 27, 2014, 09:50:24 AM
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

i feel like there should be more to that joke
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on August 27, 2014, 09:50:36 AM
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Yes? Go on...
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SdK on August 27, 2014, 09:52:53 AM
I will taco these today fellas

Liar! Mods need to shame themselves immediately.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: sunny_cat on August 27, 2014, 09:55:06 AM
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

:D
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 27, 2014, 12:05:33 PM
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 27, 2014, 12:07:31 PM
How much does a hipster weigh?


















A instagram!

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
 


(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)

Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)

A guy is sitting at a bar alone and he hears some whispers "Nice shirt." "I like your haircut." "You have nice eyes."
He looks all around and there is no one around him. A minute later the bartender walks over so the guy says, "Do you hear those whispers?"


The bartender says, "It's the nuts. They're complimentary."

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 27, 2014, 12:08:05 PM
I can't find my other taco clip art. Dead link.  :frown:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 27, 2014, 12:11:32 PM
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!”

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)

Theres this guy hosting a big costume party in his swanky uptown apartment one evening when he notices one of his guests has arrived wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans.  The host walks up to the man to inquire what the guest is supposed to be. 
"Oh, i'm a premature ejaculation." Replies the guest.
Puzzled, the man probes further "Huh, well then why did you arrive not wearing a shirt or even any shoes, for God's sake?"
"I just came in my pants."

Gross.

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)

What the fundamental difference between the American Chemical Society and the Teamsters?

How they pronounce "unionized"

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)

knock knock

who's there

to

to who

no, to whom

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BeG7SWwCEAAwx-O.jpg:large)

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)

I will taco these today fellas

Liar! Mods need to shame themselves immediately.

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: HerrSonntag on August 27, 2014, 12:14:36 PM
Theres this guy hosting a big costume party in his swanky uptown apartment one evening when he notices one of his guests has arrived wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans.  The host walks up to the man to inquire what the guest is supposed to be. 
"Oh, i'm a premature ejaculation." Replies the guest.
Puzzled, the man probes further "Huh, well then why did you arrive not wearing a shirt or even any shoes, for God's sake?"
"I just came in my pants."

Gross.

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)
i.e - he just showed up wearing pants, double entendre, oh nevermind
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on August 27, 2014, 12:17:24 PM
Theres this guy hosting a big costume party in his swanky uptown apartment one evening when he notices one of his guests has arrived wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans.  The host walks up to the man to inquire what the guest is supposed to be. 
"Oh, i'm a premature ejaculation." Replies the guest.
Puzzled, the man probes further "Huh, well then why did you arrive not wearing a shirt or even any shoes, for God's sake?"
"I just came in my pants."

Gross.

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt)
i.e - he just showed up wearing pants, double entendre, oh nevermind

I liked it but oh lawd good god don't question the tacos!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mocat on August 27, 2014, 12:22:38 PM
guy posts a photo of 3 teenage girls with no clothes on, and cartier gives him 4 tacos. unconscionable
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on August 27, 2014, 12:28:40 PM
i cant see the tacos, this saddens me
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 27, 2014, 12:29:26 PM
guy posts a photo of 3 teenage girls with no clothes on, and cartier gives him 4 tacos. unconscionable

mocat I'm off my BBS game all around.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on August 27, 2014, 12:30:08 PM
i cant see the tacos, this saddens me

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on August 27, 2014, 12:47:07 PM
i cant see the tacos, this saddens me

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt
as current record holder of 72 tacos ill allow this link
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on August 27, 2014, 08:10:24 PM
Herr's was 4, bp's email forward was a 1
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 08:53:55 AM
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 08:55:12 AM
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?… He’s 0K now.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: sunny_cat on August 29, 2014, 08:56:43 AM
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?… He’s 0K now.

:D
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 08:58:23 AM
A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage…. The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: ednksu on August 29, 2014, 09:03:03 AM
eff jokes that make you think Mrs. Gooch  :dubious:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 09:04:27 AM
There are two types of people in this world:… Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 09:05:49 AM
Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings… Pavlov gasps, “Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dogs.”
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mocat on August 29, 2014, 09:08:00 AM
Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings… Pavlov gasps, “Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dogs.”

oh wow
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 09:17:40 AM
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. … After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, “You fellas ought to know your limits.”
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: steve dave on August 29, 2014, 09:19:09 AM
mrs gooch is good at jokes
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 09:21:17 AM
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on August 29, 2014, 09:25:22 AM
really enjoying these math jokes  :D
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 09:26:53 AM
Yo mamma is so fat, the probability of her being an arbitrary point in a room is 1.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 09:31:07 AM
Your momma is so mean… she has no standard deviation.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on August 29, 2014, 09:32:23 AM
Your momma is so mean… she has no standard deviation.

Average, at best.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on August 29, 2014, 09:32:40 AM
mrs gooch, what's the integral of 1/cabin?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 09:50:08 AM
mrs gooch, what's the integral of 1/cabin?

?1/(cabin) = log cabin + c = houseboat
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on August 29, 2014, 09:50:58 AM
FINE RUIN MY JOKE YOU JERK
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 29, 2014, 10:03:35 AM
FINE RUIN MY JOKE YOU JERK

oops. Sorry.
Here's a pic for you.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Facidcow.com%2Fpics%2F20120817%2Fjokes_03.jpg&hash=120b8711fed4002e543c9b41467ac0cdc56ee793)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on August 29, 2014, 01:11:25 PM
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?… He’s 0K now.

Did you hear about the guy who had his entire left side ripped off by an alligator? He's alright now.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Gooch on August 29, 2014, 03:29:14 PM
Who hacked Mrs. Gooch's acct? She is nowhere this funny in real life.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Fedor on August 29, 2014, 03:34:30 PM
Who hacked Mrs. Gooch's acct? She is nowhere this funny in real life.
Google makes us all experts and comedians.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: ChiComCat on August 29, 2014, 04:00:36 PM
Who hacked Mrs. Gooch's acct? She is nowhere this funny in real life.

She is less funny than calculus jokes?  T&Ps Gooch
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on August 29, 2014, 06:36:36 PM
Yo mamma is so fat, the probability of her being an arbitrary point in a room is 1.

 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 'taterblast on September 05, 2014, 09:32:51 AM
what's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

i wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on September 05, 2014, 10:01:30 AM
I mean, how long do I have to wait for my tacos?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on September 05, 2014, 10:05:04 AM
CF3 starts a thread were he tacos jokes. That's it guys that's the joke  :lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: deputy dawg on September 05, 2014, 10:23:47 AM
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on September 26, 2014, 08:24:04 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10413313_10152715710787744_5627673578685732248_n.jpg?oh=63df1f310fa589d825ac17e821ed40cc&oe=54D03BB6&__gda__=1422339273_8fa498e942845426feebbe4c01cef286)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on September 26, 2014, 09:07:25 AM
Mrs. Gooch, sorry for not taco'ing jokes earlier. They are all v good and get a composite score of:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fec.l.thumbs.canstockphoto.com%2Fcanstock2446701.jpg&hash=d7e851f3d8c53b2c0e6dc4712d4174af6a03f2dd)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fec.l.thumbs.canstockphoto.com%2Fcanstock2446701.jpg&hash=d7e851f3d8c53b2c0e6dc4712d4174af6a03f2dd)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fec.l.thumbs.canstockphoto.com%2Fcanstock2446701.jpg&hash=d7e851f3d8c53b2c0e6dc4712d4174af6a03f2dd)(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fec.l.thumbs.canstockphoto.com%2Fcanstock2446701.jpg&hash=d7e851f3d8c53b2c0e6dc4712d4174af6a03f2dd)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on October 01, 2014, 08:10:28 PM
rapid fire you guys, get ready

I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on October 01, 2014, 08:10:56 PM
Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations?

Because they don’t believe in higher powers.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on October 01, 2014, 08:11:26 PM
A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”.
“Time travel”
“When do we want it?”.
“Irrelevant.”
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on October 01, 2014, 08:11:53 PM
What does a subatomic duck say?

Quark!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on October 01, 2014, 08:12:26 PM
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.    :D
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on October 01, 2014, 08:12:58 PM
Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Tobias on October 01, 2014, 09:03:15 PM
the big train theory
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on October 02, 2014, 08:35:31 AM
not sure if those jokes were luked by dr bolton or in this thread
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: gato montes on October 02, 2014, 05:19:44 PM
What's the best part of a bulimic's birthday party?

When the cake pops out of the girl.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Brock Landers on October 14, 2014, 12:23:27 PM
SPECIAL OU GAME JOKE:

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Pretty

Pretty Who?

Pretty much everyone except for Austin Box and that kid who blew himself up
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on October 14, 2014, 12:26:14 PM
true story alert: i played baseball against austin box one time in oklahoma.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Spracne on October 29, 2014, 08:00:42 PM

what if he had used bill clinton voice?

negative 2 tacos. Bill Clinton is horny, George W Bush is stupid, etc are the lowest hanging fruit in humor. Presidential jokes are lame. They are Jay Leno material.

I guess, then, that it wouldn't be prudent for me to share my H.W. Bush sidesplitter...
Cartier didnt understand that my question WAS the fuckin joke :lol:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on April 14, 2015, 11:58:31 AM
What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?































Fission Chips.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on April 14, 2015, 02:00:59 PM
I'll give you the punch line and you tell the joke.  Here goes it:

AND IF THERE'S A NOODLE IN THERE, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT EITHER!!!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bloodfart on April 14, 2015, 03:34:17 PM
Have I told you guys my Noah's ark joke?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on April 14, 2015, 03:58:18 PM
What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?































Fission Chips.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd2po17o2y4vue7.cloudfront.net%2Fuploads%2Fmenu_item%2Fimage%2F3%2Fnav_TACOS.png&hash=1079d16ca5f785be8556f22c04e6c04958564d33)

I'll give you the punch line and you tell the joke.  Here goes it:

AND IF THERE'S A NOODLE IN THERE, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT EITHER!!!

I don't get it. No Tacos.

Have I told you guys my Noah's ark joke?

go ahead.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on April 14, 2015, 05:06:33 PM
Oh what the eff cf3
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on April 14, 2015, 05:19:12 PM
Oh what the eff cf3

sorry man. I go with "gut"
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on April 14, 2015, 06:00:22 PM
why can't you trust atoms?

















they make up everything.    :adored:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on April 14, 2015, 06:35:20 PM
No eff you tbt your joke sucks and so does science
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: GoodForAnother on April 14, 2015, 07:15:37 PM
so a moth walks into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist says, “what seems to be the problem?”

the moth says “what’s the problem? where do I begin, man? I go to work for gregory illinivich, and all day long I work. honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if gregory illinivich knows. he only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. but I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to this old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. a lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. my youngest, alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. and my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. my other boy, gregarro ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. as much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. if only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good.

and so the doctor says, “moth, man, you’re troubled.  you need help.  but you should be seeing a psychiatrist. why on earth did you come here?”

moth says, “because the light was on.”
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: The Big Train on April 14, 2015, 07:23:12 PM
No eff you tbt your joke sucks and so does science

i just have an (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.quia.com%2Ffiles%2Fquia%2Fusers%2Fpetetm%2Facute-angle&hash=21ca4ff4105770d7beadfd5f494dfefef5f4edd2) understanding of science

you are just (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theworkofgodschildren.org%2Fcollaboration%2Fimages%2F4%2F4a%2FObtuse_Angle_%28PSF%29.png&hash=f5b320e01c9500a953c753f33c92308cb76d5ea4)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: GregKSU1027 on April 14, 2015, 11:17:28 PM
No eff you tbt your joke sucks and so does science

i just have an (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.quia.com%2Ffiles%2Fquia%2Fusers%2Fpetetm%2Facute-angle&hash=21ca4ff4105770d7beadfd5f494dfefef5f4edd2) understanding of science

you are just (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theworkofgodschildren.org%2Fcollaboration%2Fimages%2F4%2F4a%2FObtuse_Angle_%28PSF%29.png&hash=f5b320e01c9500a953c753f33c92308cb76d5ea4)
Translation
Top pic = acute
Bottom pic= obtuse
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: GregKSU1027 on April 14, 2015, 11:18:10 PM
Why did the football coach go to the bank?

























To get his quarter back.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on April 14, 2015, 11:24:14 PM
Why did the football coach go to the bank?

























To get his quarter back.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblawgit.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F08%2Ftaco1.png&hash=bad23b69eda64fda42a5c8fb5bd0d2f467cc51f5)

why can't you trust atoms?

















they make up everything.    :adored:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.grubgrade.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F07%2FCantina-Tacos-from-Taco-Bell.jpg&hash=374c17ed6863a336dd87eb27cbde8db3e5d0f299)

No eff you tbt your joke sucks and so does science

i just have an (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.quia.com%2Ffiles%2Fquia%2Fusers%2Fpetetm%2Facute-angle&hash=21ca4ff4105770d7beadfd5f494dfefef5f4edd2) understanding of science

you are just (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theworkofgodschildren.org%2Fcollaboration%2Fimages%2F4%2F4a%2FObtuse_Angle_%28PSF%29.png&hash=f5b320e01c9500a953c753f33c92308cb76d5ea4)

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fintrinsicalgorithm.com%2FIAonAI%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F11%2F6a00d8341c5e0053ef016302a5b7f5970d-800wi.png&hash=214a6d551c742be1897f125dee11797b736d8664)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: bubbles4ksu on April 14, 2015, 11:35:34 PM
i made this one up for you, cf3.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn38I0Y-zqg&feature=youtu.be&t=19 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn38I0Y-zqg&feature=youtu.be&t=19)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on April 15, 2015, 09:30:19 AM
i made this one up for you, cf3.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn38I0Y-zqg&feature=youtu.be&t=19 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn38I0Y-zqg&feature=youtu.be&t=19)

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcharlotterestauranttraffic-flywheel.netdna-ssl.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F02%2Ftaco-bell-tacos-4.png&hash=0307c1b2ccbf26169fdaecf2eedfc241a3b94d83)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bloodfart on April 15, 2015, 11:12:42 AM
This joke is much better in person but here goes.

So the flood is here and everyone is on board the ark.  There's not much to do so the animals are just having sex like crazy and the females are fed up with it.  They go to Noah and say enough is enough we need to do something about this.  So Noah issues a sex card to each male animal that can be used once a day.  This was acceptable to the females.  Well the male monkey comes home drunk one day and says in a drunk voice "Female monkey you are so screwed."  She looks at him confused and he repeats "female monkey you are sooooo screwed."  She asks why and the male monkey says "I was playing cards with the guys and lost my sex card to the donkey."
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: mocat on April 15, 2015, 11:15:53 AM
It's really hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac because they're always taking things literally.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Mr Bread on April 15, 2015, 11:19:59 AM
This joke is much better in person but here goes.

So the flood is here and everyone is on board the ark.  There's not much to do so the animals are just having sex like crazy and the females are fed up with it.  They go to Noah and say enough is enough we need to do something about this.  So Noah issues a sex card to each male animal that can be used once a day.  This was acceptable to the females.  Well the male monkey comes home drunk one day and says in a drunk voice "Female monkey you are so screwed."  She looks at him confused and he repeats "female monkey you are sooooo screwed."  She asks why and the male monkey says "I was playing cards with the guys and lost my sex card to the donkey."

why is it better in person?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on April 15, 2015, 11:26:21 AM
how does the monkey come home drunk if he is already on the ark?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bloodfart on April 15, 2015, 11:28:24 AM
This joke is much better in person but here goes.

So the flood is here and everyone is on board the ark.  There's not much to do so the animals are just having sex like crazy and the females are fed up with it.  They go to Noah and say enough is enough we need to do something about this.  So Noah issues a sex card to each male animal that can be used once a day.  This was acceptable to the females.  Well the male monkey comes home drunk one day and says in a drunk voice "Female monkey you are so screwed."  She looks at him confused and he repeats "female monkey you are sooooo screwed."  She asks why and the male monkey says "I was playing cards with the guys and lost my sex card to the donkey."

why is it better in person?

I act out the male monkey part.  Usually I hang one arm from a doorway and swing like a drunk monkey. 
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Brock Landers on April 15, 2015, 11:28:40 AM
Man I sure Ok Cat'd things up with my joke at the top of this page.  Don't care, still proud of it.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bloodfart on April 15, 2015, 11:29:20 AM
how does the monkey come home drunk if he is already on the ark?

I don't know use your imagination.  I like to think of the ark as a cruise ship and there's a bar onboard.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: kslim on April 15, 2015, 11:29:38 AM
This joke is much better in person but here goes.

So the flood is here and everyone is on board the ark.  There's not much to do so the animals are just having sex like crazy and the females are fed up with it.  They go to Noah and say enough is enough we need to do something about this.  So Noah issues a sex card to each male animal that can be used once a day.  This was acceptable to the females.  Well the male monkey comes home drunk one day and says in a drunk voice "Female monkey you are so screwed."  She looks at him confused and he repeats "female monkey you are sooooo screwed."  She asks why and the male monkey says "I was playing cards with the guys and lost my sex card to the donkey."

why is it better in person?

I act out the male monkey part.  Usually I hang one arm from a doorway and swing like a drunk monkey.
laughed harder at this than your joke fwiw.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Bloodfart on April 15, 2015, 11:45:06 AM
That's nice.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on April 15, 2015, 12:24:33 PM
This joke is much better in person but here goes.

So the flood is here and everyone is on board the ark.  There's not much to do so the animals are just having sex like crazy and the females are fed up with it.  They go to Noah and say enough is enough we need to do something about this.  So Noah issues a sex card to each male animal that can be used once a day.  This was acceptable to the females.  Well the male monkey comes home drunk one day and says in a drunk voice "Female monkey you are so screwed."  She looks at him confused and he repeats "female monkey you are sooooo screwed."  She asks why and the male monkey says "I was playing cards with the guys and lost my sex card to the donkey."

Gross.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Fhungry-girl%2Fuploads%2Frecipes%2F1429%2FiHungry_Spaghetti_Tacos_LRG.jpg&hash=132e0955a7a61e760567373c4f9697877799b0fd)

It's really hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac because they're always taking things literally.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-S1vPULMdcko%2FT9Dux8HGMII%2FAAAAAAAAEvI%2FU6HnuxguYOw%2Fs1600%2Fslow%2Bcooker%2Bchicken%2Btacos.jpg&hash=8eba89c41a2d5644f5b067e9dab773e5da24dcaf)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on April 15, 2015, 02:20:55 PM
I'll give you the punch line and you tell the joke.  Here goes it:

AND IF THERE'S A NOODLE IN THERE, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT EITHER!!!
welp, since none of you guys care to take a stab at this I'll let you in on what you're missing.

Man walks into a café and asks for noodle soup.  When he gets his soup, he complains that there's a hair in the soup and he's not paying for it.  He leaves the café and walks into a whore house.  The waitress follows this particular man in and see's his head buried in muff.  She says "You son-of-a-bitch, you wouldn't pay for the soup because a hair was floating in it.  Now look at you!!!".  That's when he pulls his head out and says...   
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: puniraptor on April 15, 2015, 02:34:19 PM
Made taco burgers the other night.

Took leftover meat and threw it on top of lettuce with toms, onions and cheese with some taco sauce and Dorothy Lynch (nectar of the gods).

I wish I had a picture. It was delicious!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: BIG APPLE CAT on April 15, 2015, 05:18:48 PM
It's really hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac because they're always taking things literally.

Pretty sure lib7 made that joke back on page 1ish. I do not recall the number of tacos received nor do I care to look it up
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on April 15, 2015, 07:01:53 PM
no i didn't and don't insult me like that
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on April 15, 2015, 09:23:01 PM
 :impatient:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: nicname on April 16, 2015, 12:07:43 AM
Made taco burgers the other night.

Took leftover meat and threw it on top of lettuce with toms, onions and cheese with some taco sauce and Dorothy Lynch (nectar of the gods).

I wish I had a picture. It was delicious!

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fafrisounds.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F01%2F1-Kanye-West_12-30-20131.jpg&hash=7a683adb3df6b9150212d6f3fffee20a73d658e8)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: BIG APPLE CAT on April 16, 2015, 11:23:12 AM
no i didn't and don't insult me like that

My apologies it was ksupamplegrapefruit
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on April 16, 2015, 03:27:46 PM
I'll give you the punch line and you tell the joke.  Here goes it:

AND IF THERE'S A NOODLE IN THERE, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT EITHER!!!
welp, since none of you guys care to take a stab at this I'll let you in on what you're missing.

Man walks into a café and asks for noodle soup.  When he gets his soup, he complains that there's a hair in the soup and he's not paying for it.  He leaves the café and walks into a whore house.  The waitress follows this particular man in and see's his head buried in muff.  She says "You son-of-a-bitch, you wouldn't pay for the soup because a hair was floating in it.  Now look at you!!!".  That's when he pulls his head out and says...

Gross
(https://usatftw.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/taco.jpg?w=635)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on April 17, 2015, 09:19:00 AM
I'll give you the punch line and you tell the joke.  Here goes it:

AND IF THERE'S A NOODLE IN THERE, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT EITHER!!!
welp, since none of you guys care to take a stab at this I'll let you in on what you're missing.

Man walks into a café and asks for noodle soup.  When he gets his soup, he complains that there's a hair in the soup and he's not paying for it.  He leaves the café and walks into a whore house.  The waitress follows this particular man in and see's his head buried in muff.  She says "You son-of-a-bitch, you wouldn't pay for the soup because a hair was floating in it.  Now look at you!!!".  That's when he pulls his head out and says...

Gross
(https://usatftw.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/taco.jpg?w=635)
It's funny, due to the real factor.  By the way, ever went down on a new "girl friend" and wonder what you might find.  :fatty:
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on April 17, 2015, 11:50:22 AM
Katdaddy, seriously, no.


Gonna win 'em all!
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: jar on April 17, 2015, 12:54:32 PM
A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on April 17, 2015, 02:45:11 PM
A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn2-b.examiner.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fimage_content_width%2Fhash%2Fff%2F23%2Fff23fd459952e4b6b481a0bbd85b9180.jpg%3Fitok%3D3vmlxbqO&hash=f3b16597139d6bbec60110835d6d33d66cd2134c)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: star seed 7 on April 17, 2015, 10:51:03 PM
lol
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: GregKSU1027 on April 27, 2015, 04:33:00 PM
A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn2-b.examiner.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fimage_content_width%2Fhash%2Fff%2F23%2Fff23fd459952e4b6b481a0bbd85b9180.jpg%3Fitok%3D3vmlxbqO&hash=f3b16597139d6bbec60110835d6d33d66cd2134c)
Dang two supreme tacos and two regs, really hit this one out of the park
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on April 27, 2015, 10:41:31 PM
A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn2-b.examiner.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fimage_content_width%2Fhash%2Fff%2F23%2Fff23fd459952e4b6b481a0bbd85b9180.jpg%3Fitok%3D3vmlxbqO&hash=f3b16597139d6bbec60110835d6d33d66cd2134c)
Dang two supreme tacos and two regs, really hit this one out of the park
This sucks!  At least mine had noodles.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: GregKSU1027 on April 27, 2015, 10:43:23 PM
A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn2-b.examiner.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fimage_content_width%2Fhash%2Fff%2F23%2Fff23fd459952e4b6b481a0bbd85b9180.jpg%3Fitok%3D3vmlxbqO&hash=f3b16597139d6bbec60110835d6d33d66cd2134c)
Dang two supreme tacos and two regs, really hit this one out of the park
This sucks!  At least mine had noodles.
Katdaddy, its obvious that CF3 likes animal puns.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Katpappy on April 27, 2015, 10:56:56 PM
A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn2-b.examiner.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fimage_content_width%2Fhash%2Fff%2F23%2Fff23fd459952e4b6b481a0bbd85b9180.jpg%3Fitok%3D3vmlxbqO&hash=f3b16597139d6bbec60110835d6d33d66cd2134c)
Dang two supreme tacos and two regs, really hit this one out of the park
This sucks!  At least mine had noodles.
Katdaddy, its obvious that CF3 likes animal puns.
So you think he may be using a cat and dog recipe for those homemade tacos?
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: GregKSU1027 on April 28, 2015, 10:18:56 PM
A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn2-b.examiner.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fimage_content_width%2Fhash%2Fff%2F23%2Fff23fd459952e4b6b481a0bbd85b9180.jpg%3Fitok%3D3vmlxbqO&hash=f3b16597139d6bbec60110835d6d33d66cd2134c)
Dang two supreme tacos and two regs, really hit this one out of the park
This sucks!  At least mine had noodles.
Katdaddy, its obvious that CF3 likes animal puns.
So you think he may be using a cat and dog recipe for those homemade tacos?
One can only assume
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SkinnyBenny on May 06, 2015, 11:13:06 AM
CF3 I keep forgetting to tell you, I saw a guy in this shirt at a Phish concert last summer and I took this picture for you.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FCTkXyOk.jpg&hash=4ca9caac05e3e70c068fa22522b8b26b841a9b18)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on May 06, 2015, 11:16:41 AM
That guy thinks highly of himself.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Stevesie60 on May 06, 2015, 11:35:01 AM
Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling well.
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: SkinnyBenny on May 06, 2015, 11:53:07 AM
Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling well.


(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FCTkXyOk.jpg&hash=4ca9caac05e3e70c068fa22522b8b26b841a9b18)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on August 08, 2015, 08:12:50 AM
(https://culturallydisoriented.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/tumblr_mt7dooi67b1qci1soo1_500.gif)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: slobber on August 08, 2015, 08:13:39 AM
(https://culturallydisoriented.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/tumblr_mt7dooi67b1qci1soo2_500.gif)
Title: Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 08, 2015, 01:07:56 PM
CF3 I keep forgetting to tell you, I saw a guy in this shirt at a Phish concert last summer and I took this picture for you.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FCTkXyOk.jpg&hash=4ca9caac05e3e70c068fa22522b8b26b841a9b18)

 :excited:


(https://culturallydisoriented.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/tumblr_mt7dooi67b1qci1soo1_500.gif)

(https://culturallydisoriented.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/tumblr_mt7dooi67b1qci1soo2_500.gif)

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tablehopper.com%2Fregular%2Fassets_c%2F2010%2F04%2F3-tacos-thumb-300xauto-863.jpg&hash=2bfa958801038aa01958be938411387c440cd76d)