Author Topic: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos  (Read 70212 times)

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Offline Brock Landers

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #500 on: October 14, 2014, 12:23:27 PM »
SPECIAL OU GAME JOKE:

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Pretty

Pretty Who?

Pretty much everyone except for Austin Box and that kid who blew himself up

The Big Train

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #501 on: October 14, 2014, 12:26:14 PM »
true story alert: i played baseball against austin box one time in oklahoma.

Offline Spracne

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #502 on: October 29, 2014, 08:00:42 PM »

what if he had used bill clinton voice?

negative 2 tacos. Bill Clinton is horny, George W Bush is stupid, etc are the lowest hanging fruit in humor. Presidential jokes are lame. They are Jay Leno material.

I guess, then, that it wouldn't be prudent for me to share my H.W. Bush sidesplitter...
Cartier didnt understand that my question WAS the fuckin joke :lol:
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Offline kslim

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #503 on: April 14, 2015, 11:58:31 AM »
What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?































Fission Chips.

Offline Katpappy

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #504 on: April 14, 2015, 02:00:59 PM »
I'll give you the punch line and you tell the joke.  Here goes it:

AND IF THERE'S A NOODLE IN THERE, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT EITHER!!!
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Offline Bloodfart

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #505 on: April 14, 2015, 03:34:17 PM »
Have I told you guys my Noah's ark joke?

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #506 on: April 14, 2015, 03:58:18 PM »
What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?































Fission Chips.



I'll give you the punch line and you tell the joke.  Here goes it:

AND IF THERE'S A NOODLE IN THERE, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT EITHER!!!

I don't get it. No Tacos.

Have I told you guys my Noah's ark joke?

go ahead.

Offline kslim

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #507 on: April 14, 2015, 05:06:33 PM »
Oh what the eff cf3

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #508 on: April 14, 2015, 05:19:12 PM »
Oh what the eff cf3

sorry man. I go with "gut"

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #509 on: April 14, 2015, 06:00:22 PM »
why can't you trust atoms?

















they make up everything.    :adored:

Offline kslim

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #510 on: April 14, 2015, 06:35:20 PM »
No eff you tbt your joke sucks and so does science

Offline GoodForAnother

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #511 on: April 14, 2015, 07:15:37 PM »
so a moth walks into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist says, “what seems to be the problem?”

the moth says “what’s the problem? where do I begin, man? I go to work for gregory illinivich, and all day long I work. honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if gregory illinivich knows. he only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. but I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to this old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. a lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. my youngest, alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. and my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. my other boy, gregarro ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. as much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. if only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good.

and so the doctor says, “moth, man, you’re troubled.  you need help.  but you should be seeing a psychiatrist. why on earth did you come here?”

moth says, “because the light was on.”
emaw

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #512 on: April 14, 2015, 07:23:12 PM »
No eff you tbt your joke sucks and so does science

i just have an understanding of science

you are just

Offline GregKSU1027

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #513 on: April 14, 2015, 11:17:28 PM »
No eff you tbt your joke sucks and so does science

i just have an understanding of science

you are just
Translation
Top pic = acute
Bottom pic= obtuse
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Offline GregKSU1027

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #514 on: April 14, 2015, 11:18:10 PM »
Why did the football coach go to the bank?

























To get his quarter back.
“He plays for Kansas State. He doesn't play for Will Howard University." -Chris Klieman 10/14/2023

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #515 on: April 14, 2015, 11:24:14 PM »
Why did the football coach go to the bank?

























To get his quarter back.



why can't you trust atoms?

















they make up everything.    :adored:



No eff you tbt your joke sucks and so does science

i just have an understanding of science

you are just


Offline bubbles4ksu

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #516 on: April 14, 2015, 11:35:34 PM »

Offline Cartierfor3

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Offline Bloodfart

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #518 on: April 15, 2015, 11:12:42 AM »
This joke is much better in person but here goes.

So the flood is here and everyone is on board the ark.  There's not much to do so the animals are just having sex like crazy and the females are fed up with it.  They go to Noah and say enough is enough we need to do something about this.  So Noah issues a sex card to each male animal that can be used once a day.  This was acceptable to the females.  Well the male monkey comes home drunk one day and says in a drunk voice "Female monkey you are so screwed."  She looks at him confused and he repeats "female monkey you are sooooo screwed."  She asks why and the male monkey says "I was playing cards with the guys and lost my sex card to the donkey."

Offline mocat

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #519 on: April 15, 2015, 11:15:53 AM »
It's really hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac because they're always taking things literally.

Offline Mr Bread

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #520 on: April 15, 2015, 11:19:59 AM »
This joke is much better in person but here goes.

So the flood is here and everyone is on board the ark.  There's not much to do so the animals are just having sex like crazy and the females are fed up with it.  They go to Noah and say enough is enough we need to do something about this.  So Noah issues a sex card to each male animal that can be used once a day.  This was acceptable to the females.  Well the male monkey comes home drunk one day and says in a drunk voice "Female monkey you are so screwed."  She looks at him confused and he repeats "female monkey you are sooooo screwed."  She asks why and the male monkey says "I was playing cards with the guys and lost my sex card to the donkey."

why is it better in person?
My prescience is fully engorged.  It throbs with righteous accuracy.  I am sated.

Offline kslim

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #521 on: April 15, 2015, 11:26:21 AM »
how does the monkey come home drunk if he is already on the ark?

Offline Bloodfart

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #522 on: April 15, 2015, 11:28:24 AM »
This joke is much better in person but here goes.

So the flood is here and everyone is on board the ark.  There's not much to do so the animals are just having sex like crazy and the females are fed up with it.  They go to Noah and say enough is enough we need to do something about this.  So Noah issues a sex card to each male animal that can be used once a day.  This was acceptable to the females.  Well the male monkey comes home drunk one day and says in a drunk voice "Female monkey you are so screwed."  She looks at him confused and he repeats "female monkey you are sooooo screwed."  She asks why and the male monkey says "I was playing cards with the guys and lost my sex card to the donkey."

why is it better in person?

I act out the male monkey part.  Usually I hang one arm from a doorway and swing like a drunk monkey. 

Offline Brock Landers

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #523 on: April 15, 2015, 11:28:40 AM »
Man I sure Ok Cat'd things up with my joke at the top of this page.  Don't care, still proud of it.

Offline Bloodfart

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #524 on: April 15, 2015, 11:29:20 AM »
how does the monkey come home drunk if he is already on the ark?

I don't know use your imagination.  I like to think of the ark as a cruise ship and there's a bar onboard.