Author Topic: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos  (Read 70282 times)

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Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #25 on: June 01, 2014, 11:41:03 PM »
So I got 5 total tacos first, I win, right?

No way. The 5 taco bonanza has to be won on a single joke. It will be like the pleasure dome in here when someone gets a 5 taco rating.

Offline DQ12

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #26 on: June 01, 2014, 11:44:14 PM »
Here's a family friendly joke.

Sherlock and Watson went camping in the desert.  After they built their campsite and set up their tent, night came and the two went to sleep.  In the middle of the night, Sherlock shoved and awoke Watson, who was snoring.  As the two were laying there, Sherlock said "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."  Watson responded "I see a countless number of stars."  Sherlock said "And, my dear friend Watson, what do you deduce from this?"  Watson thought for a moment before answering "Well, if we can see this multitude of stars from earth, and the universe is far greater than what we even see, then it is likely that some star somewhere contains life.  Is that the answer you were looking for, Sherlock?"

Sherlock sat up and looked at Watson and muttered, "No, you idiot.  It means someone stole our tent."


"You want to stand next to someone and not be able to hear them, walk your ass into Manhattan, Kansas." - [REDACTED]

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #27 on: June 01, 2014, 11:46:57 PM »
Do you like fishsticks?


Yeah.


Do you like putting fish sticks in your mouth?


Yeah.


What are you, a gay fish?


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #28 on: June 01, 2014, 11:47:20 PM »
Here's a family friendly joke.

Sherlock and Watson went camping in the desert.  After they built their campsite and set up their tent, night came and the two went to sleep.  In the middle of the night, Sherlock shoved and awoke Watson, who was snoring.  As the two were laying there, Sherlock said "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."  Watson responded "I see a countless number of stars."  Sherlock said "And, my dear friend Watson, what do you deduce from this?"  Watson thought for a moment before answering "Well, if we can see this multitude of stars from earth, and the universe is far greater than what we even see, then it is likely that some star somewhere contains life.  Is that the answer you were looking for, Sherlock?"

Sherlock sat up and looked at Watson and muttered, "No, you idiot.  It means someone stole our tent."


Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #29 on: June 01, 2014, 11:48:19 PM »
Do you like fishsticks?


Yeah.


Do you like putting fish sticks in your mouth?


Yeah.


What are you, a gay fish?


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


The Big Train

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #30 on: June 01, 2014, 11:49:37 PM »
:don'tcare:

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #32 on: June 02, 2014, 12:14:48 AM »
Why are there no "knock knock" jokes about America?

Because freedom always rings.

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #33 on: June 02, 2014, 12:18:57 AM »
A nun, a black guy, and a muslim walk into a bar. 

The bartender sits back and smiles, appreciating how lucky he is to live in such a diverse city.


"You want to stand next to someone and not be able to hear them, walk your ass into Manhattan, Kansas." - [REDACTED]

The Big Train

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #34 on: June 02, 2014, 12:24:43 AM »
the last 2  :thumbs:

Offline HerrSonntag

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #35 on: June 02, 2014, 12:28:53 AM »
Cashing in on the gastro-gourmet trends of high end restaurants in the area, some chemistry grad students decide to open up their own restaurant.  On their first day, two business men sit down for lunch.  Laughing about the novelty of the place, the first orders an H2O when asked what he'd like to drink.  The second man says he'd like an H20 too.  The restaurant was shut down before dinner.

Offline Matt Siebrant's Left Hand

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #36 on: June 02, 2014, 02:07:41 AM »
What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of a coke fall off an apartment building.

Offline 8manpick

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #37 on: June 02, 2014, 08:05:08 AM »
A man is hiking alone in the mountains when he sees a little girl crying near the edge of a steep cliff.  He says to the little girl "what's wrong, why are you so upset?"

She responds, "my older brother tripped and fell off this cliff, and my parents fell off trying to catch him. Now I'm all alone in these woods and I'm scared"

The man unzips his pants and says, "today just isn't your day sweetie."

The girl screams, "KATDADDY, NOOOOOOOOO!"
:adios:

Offline Bloodfart

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #38 on: June 02, 2014, 08:11:15 AM »
How to catch a polar bear: 

Step#1.  Cut a hole in the ice
Step#2.  Spread peas around the hole

When the bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.  :D

Offline slobber

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #39 on: June 02, 2014, 08:14:12 AM »
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interupting cow.

Interupting cow w-

MOOO!

Offline kslim

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #40 on: June 02, 2014, 08:14:42 AM »
what do you call a nun in a wheelchair?









































virgin mobile


Offline slobber

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #41 on: June 02, 2014, 08:16:00 AM »
What did Geronimo say when he jumped off the cliff?













Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Offline TownieCat

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #42 on: June 02, 2014, 08:47:56 AM »
@EllRobersonIsInnocent's face.

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #43 on: June 02, 2014, 02:28:24 PM »
Why are there no "knock knock" jokes about America?

Because freedom always rings.


Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #44 on: June 02, 2014, 02:29:05 PM »
A nun, a black guy, and a muslim walk into a bar. 

The bartender sits back and smiles, appreciating how lucky he is to live in such a diverse city.


Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #45 on: June 02, 2014, 02:30:35 PM »
Cashing in on the gastro-gourmet trends of high end restaurants in the area, some chemistry grad students decide to open up their own restaurant.  On their first day, two business men sit down for lunch.  Laughing about the novelty of the place, the first orders an H2O when asked what he'd like to drink.  The second man says he'd like an H20 too.  The restaurant was shut down before dinner.


Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #46 on: June 02, 2014, 02:31:12 PM »
What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of a coke fall off an apartment building.

zero tacos. this is a family blog.

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #47 on: June 02, 2014, 02:31:59 PM »
A man is hiking alone in the mountains when he sees a little girl crying near the edge of a steep cliff.  He says to the little girl "what's wrong, why are you so upset?"

She responds, "my older brother tripped and fell off this cliff, and my parents fell off trying to catch him. Now I'm all alone in these woods and I'm scared"

The man unzips his pants and says, "today just isn't your day sweetie."

The girl screams, "KATDADDY, NOOOOOOOOO!"

zero tacos

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #48 on: June 02, 2014, 02:32:40 PM »
How to catch a polar bear: 

Step#1.  Cut a hole in the ice
Step#2.  Spread peas around the hole

When the bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.  :D


Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #49 on: June 02, 2014, 02:33:09 PM »
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interupting cow.

Interupting cow w-

MOOO!