Author Topic: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos  (Read 70340 times)

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Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #225 on: June 20, 2014, 10:11:16 AM »
What does Mexican Elvis say?


Gracias. Muchas gracias.



What does Japanese Elvis say?

Domo. Domo. Domo alrigato mr roboto


Gonna win 'em all!


Offline SdK

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #226 on: June 20, 2014, 10:45:01 PM »
Vendetta noted.

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #227 on: June 20, 2014, 10:50:53 PM »
Vendetta noted.

i don't speak spanish. foreign language jokes always get zero tacos

Offline SdK

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #228 on: June 20, 2014, 10:53:30 PM »
How many stars are in the sky.

Cincuenta means 50.

Sin cuenta mean like no account or no way to count. They are homonyms.

What is vengeance? = que es venganza.

No no no. It's what the male goose says to the female goose.

Ven ganza = come female goose.


:D

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #229 on: June 20, 2014, 11:10:34 PM »
How many stars are in the sky.

Cincuenta means 50.

Sin cuenta mean like no account or no way to count. They are homonyms.

What is vengeance? = que es venganza.

No no no. It's what the male goose says to the female goose.

Ven ganza = come female goose.


:D

nothing personal but i'm sticking with zero tacos. too complicated

Offline SdK

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #230 on: June 21, 2014, 12:12:02 AM »
OK :D

Offline star seed 7

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #231 on: June 21, 2014, 01:48:38 AM »
CartierForHardass
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

Offline Stevesie60

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #232 on: June 21, 2014, 02:50:36 AM »
Two white guys take their Asian friend out camping for the first time. They drive up close to a forest, and wander until they find a good spot for the night. One guy says "I'm going to go get fire wood, (points at the other white guy) you go get some stumps for us to sit on (points at the Asian guy) and you go get the supplies.

The white guys return to the camp site about the same time, with their Asian friend nowhere to be found. They get worried, so they go to the car where the supplies were. Everything is still there, so they go ahead and grab everything and start to take it back to the camp site. About half way there their Asian friend jumps out from behind and tree and yells, "SUPPLIES!!!"

Offline star seed 7

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #233 on: June 21, 2014, 02:58:36 AM »
I hope michigancat scolds you for that blatantly racist "joke"
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

Offline Stevesie60

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #234 on: June 21, 2014, 03:24:55 AM »
I sat on it for a while. Twice while typing it I thought of deleting it. Oh well, no turning back now!

Offline nicname

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #235 on: June 21, 2014, 05:29:09 AM »
Your mama is so nasty I went over to her house the other day, and when I asked her what we were having for dinner she propped her foot up on the table and said, "Corn!" 

If there was a gif of nicname thwarting the attempted-flag-taker and then gesturing him to suck it, followed by motioning for all of Hilton Shelter to boo him louder, it'd be better than that auburn gif.

Offline nicname

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #236 on: June 21, 2014, 05:36:19 AM »
Sometimes when people fart I tell them that if they were a boxer their name would be gaseous clay.

If there was a gif of nicname thwarting the attempted-flag-taker and then gesturing him to suck it, followed by motioning for all of Hilton Shelter to boo him louder, it'd be better than that auburn gif.

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #237 on: June 21, 2014, 09:22:44 AM »
Your mama is so nasty I went over to her house the other day, and when I asked her what we were having for dinner she propped her foot up on the table and said, "Corn!"

:barf:

Offline EMAWesome

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #238 on: June 21, 2014, 08:28:21 PM »
Your mama is so fat, she should probably be concerned about contracting type 2 diabetes

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Offline Mr Bread

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #239 on: June 21, 2014, 09:40:12 PM »
I sat on it for a while. Twice while typing it I thought of deleting it. Oh well, no turning back now!

You should change it to a joke that has nothing to do with race and then seven's post will look ridiculous.  That alone will probably have you swimming in tacos. 
My prescience is fully engorged.  It throbs with righteous accuracy.  I am sated.

Offline deputy dawg

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #240 on: June 23, 2014, 03:05:39 PM »
TOOLS AND HOW TO USE THEM
 
SKIL SAW:

A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.
 
BELT SANDER:

An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
 
WIRE WHEEL:

Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light.  Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh crap'.
 
DRILL PRESS:

A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

 
Channel Locks:

Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
 
HACKSAW:

One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
 
VISE-GRIPS:

Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
 
OXYACETYLENE TORCH:

Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
 
TABLE SAW:

A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
Very effective for digit removal !!
 
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:

Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
 
BAND SAW:

A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
 
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:

A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.
 
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:

Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
 

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:

A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
 
PRY BAR:

A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
 
PVC PIPE CUTTER:

A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.
 
HAMMER:

Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
 
UTILITY KNIFE:

Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2014, 02:53:35 PM by deputy dawg »

The Big Train

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #241 on: June 23, 2014, 03:51:53 PM »
I don't get it  :confused:

Offline SdK

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #242 on: June 23, 2014, 04:24:20 PM »
I think it's guide for people that aren't tool savvy at all.

Offline star seed 7

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #243 on: June 23, 2014, 05:49:37 PM »
you didn't post a picture of a skil saw
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

Offline wetwillie

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #244 on: June 23, 2014, 05:57:42 PM »
Whatever a GPC taco would look like is what I give that joke. 
When the bullets are flying, that's when I'm at my best

Offline michigancat

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #245 on: June 23, 2014, 06:21:49 PM »
I call them flathead screwdrivers.

Offline star seed 7

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #246 on: June 23, 2014, 06:25:05 PM »
I call them flathead screwdrivers.

yes, more correct than straight
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

Offline Dr Rick Daris

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #247 on: June 23, 2014, 06:31:06 PM »
5 daris tacos. I smiled throughout that whole thing.

Offline SdK

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #248 on: June 23, 2014, 06:56:06 PM »
you didn't post a picture of a skil saw
noticed this as well but let it slide because skilsaw is just the site jargon. only ever used a "skilsaw" once. all others were dewalt.

Offline deputy dawg

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Re: CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos
« Reply #249 on: June 24, 2014, 08:57:01 AM »
Whatever a GPC taco would look like is what I give that joke.

What's "GPC"?