CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos

[kslim]

This joke is much better in person but here goes.

So the flood is here and everyone is on board the ark.  There's not much to do so the animals are just having sex like crazy and the females are fed up with it.  They go to Noah and say enough is enough we need to do something about this.  So Noah issues a sex card to each male animal that can be used once a day.  This was acceptable to the females.  Well the male monkey comes home drunk one day and says in a drunk voice "Female monkey you are so screwed."  She looks at him confused and he repeats "female monkey you are sooooo screwed."  She asks why and the male monkey says "I was playing cards with the guys and lost my sex card to the donkey."

why is it better in person?

I act out the male monkey part.  Usually I hang one arm from a doorway and swing like a drunk monkey.

laughed harder at this than your joke fwiw.

[Bloodfart]

That's nice.

[Cartierfor3]

This joke is much better in person but here goes.

So the flood is here and everyone is on board the ark.  There's not much to do so the animals are just having sex like crazy and the females are fed up with it.  They go to Noah and say enough is enough we need to do something about this.  So Noah issues a sex card to each male animal that can be used once a day.  This was acceptable to the females.  Well the male monkey comes home drunk one day and says in a drunk voice "Female monkey you are so screwed."  She looks at him confused and he repeats "female monkey you are sooooo screwed."  She asks why and the male monkey says "I was playing cards with the guys and lost my sex card to the donkey."

Gross.

It's really hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac because they're always taking things literally.

[Katpappy]

I'll give you the punch line and you tell the joke.  Here goes it:

AND IF THERE'S A NOODLE IN THERE, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT EITHER!!!

welp, since none of you guys care to take a stab at this I'll let you in on what you're missing.

Man walks into a café and asks for noodle soup.  When he gets his soup, he complains that there's a hair in the soup and he's not paying for it.  He leaves the café and walks into a whore house.  The waitress follows this particular man in and see's his head buried in muff.  She says "You son-of-a-bitch, you wouldn't pay for the soup because a hair was floating in it.  Now look at you!!!".  That's when he pulls his head out and says...   

[puniraptor]

Made taco burgers the other night.

Took leftover meat and threw it on top of lettuce with toms, onions and cheese with some taco sauce and Dorothy Lynch (nectar of the gods).

I wish I had a picture. It was delicious!

[BIG APPLE CAT]

It's really hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac because they're always taking things literally.

Pretty sure lib7 made that joke back on page 1ish. I do not recall the number of tacos received nor do I care to look it up

[star seed 7]

no i didn't and don't insult me like that

[Katpappy]

 

[nicname]

Made taco burgers the other night.

Took leftover meat and threw it on top of lettuce with toms, onions and cheese with some taco sauce and Dorothy Lynch (nectar of the gods).

I wish I had a picture. It was delicious!

[BIG APPLE CAT]

no i didn't and don't insult me like that

My apologies it was ksupamplegrapefruit

[Cartierfor3]

I'll give you the punch line and you tell the joke.  Here goes it:

AND IF THERE'S A NOODLE IN THERE, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT EITHER!!!

welp, since none of you guys care to take a stab at this I'll let you in on what you're missing.

Man walks into a café and asks for noodle soup.  When he gets his soup, he complains that there's a hair in the soup and he's not paying for it.  He leaves the café and walks into a whore house.  The waitress follows this particular man in and see's his head buried in muff.  She says "You son-of-a-bitch, you wouldn't pay for the soup because a hair was floating in it.  Now look at you!!!".  That's when he pulls his head out and says...

Gross

[Katpappy]

I'll give you the punch line and you tell the joke.  Here goes it:

AND IF THERE'S A NOODLE IN THERE, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT EITHER!!!

welp, since none of you guys care to take a stab at this I'll let you in on what you're missing.

Man walks into a café and asks for noodle soup.  When he gets his soup, he complains that there's a hair in the soup and he's not paying for it.  He leaves the café and walks into a whore house.  The waitress follows this particular man in and see's his head buried in muff.  She says "You son-of-a-bitch, you wouldn't pay for the soup because a hair was floating in it.  Now look at you!!!".  That's when he pulls his head out and says...

Gross

It's funny, due to the real factor.  By the way, ever went down on a new "girl friend" and wonder what you might find. 

[slobber]

Katdaddy, seriously, no.


Gonna win 'em all!

[jar]

A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

[Cartierfor3]

A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.

[star seed 7]

lol

[GregKSU1027]

A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.

Dang two supreme tacos and two regs, really hit this one out of the park

[Katpappy]

A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.

Dang two supreme tacos and two regs, really hit this one out of the park

This sucks!  At least mine had noodles.

[GregKSU1027]

A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.

Dang two supreme tacos and two regs, really hit this one out of the park

This sucks!  At least mine had noodles.

Katdaddy, its obvious that CF3 likes animal puns.

[Katpappy]

A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.

Dang two supreme tacos and two regs, really hit this one out of the park

This sucks!  At least mine had noodles.

Katdaddy, its obvious that CF3 likes animal puns.

So you think he may be using a cat and dog recipe for those homemade tacos?

[GregKSU1027]

A man walks into a zoo

The only animal in the zoo is a dog

It's a shih tzu

I like it.

Dang two supreme tacos and two regs, really hit this one out of the park

This sucks!  At least mine had noodles.

Katdaddy, its obvious that CF3 likes animal puns.

So you think he may be using a cat and dog recipe for those homemade tacos?

One can only assume

[SkinnyBenny]

CF3 I keep forgetting to tell you, I saw a guy in this shirt at a Phish concert last summer and I took this picture for you.

[420seriouscat69]

That guy thinks highly of himself.

[Stevesie60]

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling well.

[SkinnyBenny]

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling well.