CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos

[Cartierfor3]

So a termite walks into So Long and asks "is the bar tender here?"

I liked that you made it about MHK

[Cartierfor3]

What did the bug say just before he hit the car windshield at 70 MPH.  "That takes guts!"

To add to that.  What's the last thing that goes through a bug's brain when it hits a windshield? 

It's ass.

[Cartierfor3]

CF3's promptness in judging jokes in this thread 

[Cartierfor3]

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you cant cross a scalar with a vector.

[Benja]

Two gay guys walked into a bar in western kansas.

Everything went great because the owners were very nice and accepting.

YES! SWEET VICTORY

[Cartierfor3]

Potato

zero tacos

[Cartierfor3]

Punch line only:

Rectum? It damn near killed him!

[Benja]

On orange cat was sitting on a fence watching a squirrel run across the lawn.  The cat yells, "Hey man, why in such a big hurry?"  The squirrel turns back and shouts, "Because I don't want you to eat me bro!", to which the cat replies "Oh that makes sense, too bad it's Lent though and I have given up eating squirrels, so you can just relax."  The squirrel doesn't stop running though because it knew that cat was at best a Christmas/Easter cat.  Unfortunately, a Methodist owl was in the tree and ate Mr. Squirrel  .

But its ok because Mr. Squirrel was a serial killer  .

That's our 2nd 5 taco joke! 

Besides just being a joke, that's one of the best things ever written on this blog

[Cartierfor3]

CF3's promptness in judging jokes in this thread 

Those are unauthorized tacos. Only I may taco.

[Cartierfor3]

What's the difference in and egg, your wife, your meat, and a blowjob?





You can beat and egg.
You can beat your wife.


You can even beat your meat!,



But.......


You just can't beat a good blowjob.


Gonna win 'em all!

[Cartierfor3]

wow. that was a lot of taco'ing. Great job by all.

Go Cats.

[The Big Train]

CF3's promptness in judging jokes in this thread 

Those are unauthorized tacos. Only I may taco.

2 unbiased judges giving that joke 4 tacos a piece 

[KITNfury]

Potato

zero tacos

I told it wrong.

[slobber]

What's the difference in and egg, your wife, your meat, and a blowjob?





You can beat and egg.
You can beat your wife.


You can even beat your meat!,



But.......


You just can't beat a good blowjob.


Gonna win 'em all!

What if I had called them huevos rancheros and referred to your wife as a señorita, and called it a Mexican blowjob?


Gonna win 'em all!

['taterblast]

Three engineers are riding in a car.

One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer.

The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road.

"Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road again in no time."

"Wait," says the electrical engineer. "The way it just stopped like that, I think it's the electrical system. Let me have a look and I'll get us going again in a minute or two."

"Hold on," says the computer engineer. "Why don't we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?"

[The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep]

weak engineering joke.

two engineers are debating about what kind of engineer designed a woman.

the first engineer, an electrical engineer says, "It must be an electrical engineer. Women's minds are so complicated!"

the second engineer, a mechanical engineer says, "It must be a mechanical engineer. Women move so swiftly and beautifully."

the first engineer chimes back "Nah, must be a civil engineer. Who else would put a sewage system right next to a playground?!"

[Benja]

Three engineers walked into a bar. They ran up a super high tab but it was cool because they all have good jobs because they went to K-State.

[kslim]

Three engineers walked into a bar. They ran up a super high tab but it was cool because they all have good jobs because they went to K-State.

this is a joke thread not a facts thread benja. lock it up

[Spracne]

Three engineers walk into a bar.  They don't talk to anyone, including each other, because they're socially awkward and don't understand interpersonal relationships.

[Benja]

Three engineers walk into a bar.  They don't talk to anyone, including each other, because they're socially awkward and don't understand interpersonal relationships.

Three Spracne's walk into a bar. Everyone is nice though because we're salt of the earth types, and hey, it's just message boarding. How 'bout them royals?

[SdK]

A boulder and a pebble are standing on a cliff. Which one jumps first?

The pebble because he's a little bolder.

[SdK]

What did the egg say to the boiling water?


I can't get hard, I just got laid by a chick.

[SdK]

Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide and seek.

Einstein starts counting. Pascal runs off. Newton stays put and draws a square in the dirt.

Einstein looks up and says that was easy, found you Newton. Newton says no, you found Pascal. One Newton per meter squared.

[SdK]

Roman soldier walks in a bar and says I'll have a martinus. Bartender says "a martini?" Soldier says if I wanted more than one I would have said so. Little while later another soldier walks in, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have five beers.

[SdK]

A poet, a priest, and an engineer are sentenced to being executed by guillotine. Poet is up first but the guillotine jams. Executioner says I only get one shot, you must be an amazing poet. You're free. Priest is up next, same thing, jams up. Executioner says it must be because you are a man of God. You are free. The engineer is last and with his head on the block looks up and says "Hey I think I see the problem."