Master Dating Thread

[KSUblumpkin]

This is really eye-opening.  I didn't even think about how selfish she was being.  I had a full roll of tp and tp reloads right next to the can.  I have two bathrooms upstairs and one downstairs that she could have used. 

I mean, this crap was the hurricane katrina of shits.  She only single flushed too, so remnants of the damage remained floating in the swamp like crap lagoon.  I was fearful that a freaking croc would jump out at me.

I was so scared.  If, God forbid, hanky panky time comes around I will only think of the category 4 130 mph crap speeds.  I just don't know if I can put my junk near that crap hole.  I think I have post traumatic shits disorder and I may need to reach out to a colleague for therapy.  Yeah...I'm breaking up with her.  I'm going to be honest with her and say: "It's not you it's that crap you took last night...think of the children for god's sake." 

It is the right thing to do.  I can't be with someone so selfish.

[mhkpasa]

 

[Mr Bread]

She's absolutely disgusting. 

[KSUblumpkin]

Why would you move into a house with bathroom adjacent to the kitchen? Seems unsanitary... 

"Hey blumpz, thanks for dinner. Do you mind pointing me to the direction to your bathroom? I'm unsure of where everything is in your new place."
"Sure thing, babe... It's right next to the fridge."

That is an excellent point.  The bathroom is off of a mud room that is next to the kitchen, but I never thought of that when buying the house.  Eff it all, I needed a SD like house thread to avoid this kind of crap (literally).  This is just upsetting.

[KSUblumpkin]

She's absolutely disgusting.

Absolutely correct Mr Bread.  Plus I hear she clips her fingernails at work and I can't be a part of that.

[Mr Bread]

She's absolutely disgusting.

Absolutely correct Mr Bread.  Plus I hear she clips her fingernails at work and I can't be a part of that.

If she actually left your toilet the way you describe then she might not even be fully human. 

[Mr Bread]

A subhuman.

[Jabeez]

Does anyone else carry multiple conversations over text with their significant other, like one is a heated argument and the other one is making weekend plans?

[Mrs. Gooch]

Just be glad she wasn't in your hot tub at the time.

[The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep]

ms tonya and i are in a custody battle over a vacuum. she loaned (gave?) me the vacuum a few months back because the penthouse has carpet. her place is hardwood so she doesnt need a vacuum.

i said we could compromise and split time with the vacuum. she thinks she needs it full time.

she doesnt even spend time with the vacuum. i vacuum a lot. like, twice a week.

[TownieCat]

Does anyone else carry multiple conversations over text with their significant other, like one is a heated argument and the other one is making weekend plans?

Texting is the lowest form of communication. Pick up the phone and call.

[Mrs. Gooch]

ms tonya and i are in a custody battle over a vacuum. she loaned (gave?) me the vacuum a few months back because the penthouse has carpet. her place is hardwood so she doesnt need a vacuum.

i said we could compromise and split time with the vacuum. she thinks she needs it full time.

she doesnt even spend time with the vacuum. i vacuum a lot. like, twice a week.

Do you have any witnesses who can confirm or deny if it was a loan or a gift?

[Mrs. Gooch]

Does anyone else carry multiple conversations over text with their significant other, like one is a heated argument and the other one is making weekend plans?

Texting is the lowest form of communication. Pick up the phone and call.

I only argue by text after he hangs up on me while arguing by phone.

[Dr Rick Daris]

ms tonya and i are in a custody battle over a vacuum. she loaned (gave?) me the vacuum a few months back because the penthouse has carpet. her place is hardwood so she doesnt need a vacuum.

i said we could compromise and split time with the vacuum. she thinks she needs it full time.

she doesnt even spend time with the vacuum. i vacuum a lot. like, twice a week.

protip- she's collecting her stuff because she's getting ready to end it w/ you.

[slobber]

People (blumpzy) STOP STORING TOILET PAPER BY THE CRAPPER!  Piss water splashes out if the toilet and sprinkles all over the toilet paper and then you expect your guests to just grab a roll of piss splattered toilet paper from the floor next to the toilet when the roll on the holder runs out? That is disgusting! Anytime I am at somebody's house and have to replace the toilet paper roll with one that is piss splattered, I usually take off the first 30 or so rounds and throw them away.
Blumps, she did all of that nasty pooping so you'd dump her and I can't say that I blame her.


Gonna win 'em all!

[KSUblumpkin]

ms tonya and i are in a custody battle over a vacuum. she loaned (gave?) me the vacuum a few months back because the penthouse has carpet. her place is hardwood so she doesnt need a vacuum.

i said we could compromise and split time with the vacuum. she thinks she needs it full time.

she doesnt even spend time with the vacuum. i vacuum a lot. like, twice a week.

That is just ridiculous.  I mean a man has to vacuum.  Plus, I bet it's an awesome vacuum that gets all the nooks and crannies.  Sheesh...women.  First they are taking behemoth poop nukes in your toilet and then they are stealing vacuums they loaned to you.  Next thing you know they will be continuing the fight you hung up on them for over text messaging.

[Mr Bread]

slobber hangs out with really gross people irl. 

[KSUblumpkin]

People (blumpzy) STOP STORING TOILET PAPER BY THE CRAPPER!  Piss water splashes out if the toilet and sprinkles all over the toilet paper and then you expect your guests to just grab a roll of piss splattered toilet paper from the floor next to the toilet when the roll on the holder runs out? That is disgusting! Anytime I am at somebody's house and have to replace the toilet paper roll with one that is piss splattered, I usually take off the first 30 or so rounds and throw them away.
Blumps, she did all of that nasty pooping so you'd dump her and I can't say that I blame her.


Gonna win 'em all!

Oh man you are right Slobber.  I didn't realize.  The porcelain octagon of poop is her way of saying she doesn't want to wipe with my piss splattered back splash on the tp.  She isn't being selfish, I am being selfish.  Slobber...I'm gonna win her back.  Though I feel some sort of televised relief effort is really necessary after the natural disaster last night, I'm going to be the bigger person and admit that I'm a complete boner for keeping the tp next to the john and this was a brown messy cry for help.  I'm gonna win 'em all Slobber!  Thanks for the heads up.  My lawn thanks you as well (though I have some annoying nutsedge I'm trying to kill).

[TownieCat]

ms tonya and i are in a custody battle over a vacuum. she loaned (gave?) me the vacuum a few months back because the penthouse has carpet. her place is hardwood so she doesnt need a vacuum.

i said we could compromise and split time with the vacuum. she thinks she needs it full time.

she doesnt even spend time with the vacuum. i vacuum a lot. like, twice a week.

She wants you to buy her a vacuum for her birthday/anniversary/Christmas. Women typically love gifts like that 

[420seriouscat69]

Does anyone else carry multiple conversations over text with their significant other, like one is a heated argument and the other one is making weekend plans?

Texting is the lowest form of communication. Pick up the phone and call.

I only argue by text after he hangs up on me while arguing by phone.

Oh, man. This was Ms. wacky on Saturday during the day.

[KSUblumpkin]

Does anyone else carry multiple conversations over text with their significant other, like one is a heated argument and the other one is making weekend plans?

Texting is the lowest form of communication. Pick up the phone and call.

I only argue by text after he hangs up on me while arguing by phone.

Oh, man. This was Ms. wacky on Saturday during the day.

That just sounds awful Wacky.  Ts and Ps buddy.  Hopefully she didn't make a facebook post about it either.  I've been down that road and that is a road you don't want to go down. 

[Mrs. Gooch]

Does anyone else carry multiple conversations over text with their significant other, like one is a heated argument and the other one is making weekend plans?

Texting is the lowest form of communication. Pick up the phone and call.

I only argue by text after he hangs up on me while arguing by phone.

Oh, man. This was Ms. wacky on Saturday during the day.

Why did you hang up on her you jerk?

[slobber]

slobber hangs out with really gross people irl.

I never go back to somebody's house if they store tp by the toilet. I just wash my hands, walk out of the bathroom, and tell them "see ya. It's you and your piss water tp, it's not me." I end it right there man. Kind of like blump's ex did.


Gonna win 'em all!

[420seriouscat69]

Does anyone else carry multiple conversations over text with their significant other, like one is a heated argument and the other one is making weekend plans?

Texting is the lowest form of communication. Pick up the phone and call.

I only argue by text after he hangs up on me while arguing by phone.

Oh, man. This was Ms. wacky on Saturday during the day.

Why did you hang up on her you jerk?

Cause she was complaining about me meeting up with my friends for lunch, when she wanted to hang out (I had been with her all week), and than she said I left the palce a mess (I didn't. In fact, I fixed her living room table during the day). 

[420seriouscat69]

Does anyone else carry multiple conversations over text with their significant other, like one is a heated argument and the other one is making weekend plans?

Texting is the lowest form of communication. Pick up the phone and call.

I only argue by text after he hangs up on me while arguing by phone.

Oh, man. This was Ms. wacky on Saturday during the day.

That just sounds awful Wacky.  Ts and Ps buddy.  Hopefully she didn't make a facebook post about it either.  I've been down that road and that is a road you don't want to go down.

Oh, no, she didn't. We make up pretty fast. It's usually like two strong personalities voicing their opinions, non-communication for about an hour or two and then a "hey babe, how is lunch?" We ended up hanging out with 'clams and his gal later that night.