IMO there's a chance to win the middle with data on outcomes and information from health experts combined with an element of "we aren't going to tell you how to care for your kids - it's between you and your doctors. Parents know their kids best and should do what they think is best for them, not what the government thinks is best for them".
Then the left needs to rethink the “teachers don’t need to tell parents if the kid’s gender identity at school is different” issue, which is explicitly the opposite of that “parents know better than the state argument.” I’m paraphrasing the issue but I hope you know what I mean.
I hear you, at the very least, the messaging on schools not telling parents needs to be improved. I mean to start it should be clear that the school won't be administering hormone therapy, just providing a safe-ish space for social transition. I went to look for data on how often this happens and didn't find any but instead found this thread, which has some useful perspectives:
https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/s/BwjGmtm1hY
1. Schools should not place kids in danger.
2. Schools are not in a position to know about or evaluate the potential danger to a kid if that kid's parents find out they're queer.
3. Therefore, schools should not share (or be compelled to share) information about a kid's LGBTQ+ status with parents.
It was obviously all anecdotes, including a few about being outed by their school and it leading to abuse at home. It also leads to some questions about the parent/school/child relationships:
Should the state out a trans child that doesn't want to be outed?
How much autonomy should a child have in a decision to out their identity to some communities but not their parents?
Should a school out a child who is gay to parents?
Should a school tell a parent if a child is dating someone, even if it's a hetero relationship?
So I think in terms of who knows best, it's probably:
The child
The medical professionals
Parents
School/government
I also understand how that's more difficult to message than "parents know best". Need to think about it some more.
I agree with a lot of this, in principle. I believe there are some other factors that could be considered.
1. I would maybe reframe "who knows best" with "whose knowledge is most accurate."
2. I would also determine, as much as possible, the entity with the greatest stake in the child's well-being if I were to place these in an order of importance. An argument could likely be made for each of those you mentioned.
3. I believe it's important to keep variables in mind such as the child's intrapersonal development of identity/self-concept, biases/presuppositions of medical professionals, parents, and government, and the desired outcomes all entities work toward regardless of research-based findings.
4. The safety of the child, obviously, needs to be paramount. So, attitudes and outlooks of each of the entities mentioned must be part of the process. The problem is, these are often kept well-hidden and rarely fully disclosed.
Having said all of that, I would like to see everyone in any decision-making position regarding transgender children (including parents/guardians) be much more forthright about their own processes and policies, biases, etc. I see no value in trotting out anecdotes of extreme cases or touting anything as "absolute" in the soft sciences, which much of this is. The DSM has changed considerably over the years based on new data. Everyone is still learning and admitting that, inviting reasoned discussion, and moving toward the well-being of the children, as opposed to getting a win, would enhance healthy outcomes for everyone.
