midlife crises

[michigancat]

Also sys, I wouldn't recommend choosing the path where you spend all your free time on Twitter and message boards.

[nicname]

get super ripped

Yes.

[DaBigTrain]

Man, like, i KNOW that WW is in his mid 30s-ish, but every time i'm reminded of that it hits me like a sledgehammer. One of those things that i know but immediately forget until reminded. Like even in 5 minutes from now if i were to take a timed test (magic minute, for example) and one of the questions was "how old is WW?" i would mark bubble C (bubble C is 40-50 yrs old)

It surprises me, too. I guess we're around the same age, but I've always kind of assumed that I'm the third youngest regular poster here, behind Winters and Greg.

The 3 of us are all around the same age. I’m 35. I’ve been going through kind of a rough time because of being sick and moving to Texas. I also started a job in May that has allowed me to travel a ton and already have several more trips planned this year. It’s also pretty much financially set me for life. So not sure it’s a midlife crisis but I’m trying to figure out what I should do next and what my purpose is.

[Dugout DickStone]

the hell kind of job you get and you are financially set 4 months later? 

[DaBigTrain]

the hell kind of job you get and you are financially set 4 months later?

The this is a home run job in every conceivable way kind.

[star seed 7]

I was starting to get into a tiny little baby midlife crisis before being diagnosed but that all went away. I very much feel the uncertainty of the future though. I am not working right now and savings is getting drained and I think I'm going to start dipping into the 401k to reimburse for some medical stuff and hopefully stabilize finances. One of my bigger fears right now is a miracle happens and I live another 10 years with no savings or retirement money.

[steve dave]

Is it a mid-life crisis when you have anxiety about not making enough memories with children?  Seems more like parental guilt, but I can see it morphing into a mid-life crisis with the actions taken to assuage the guilt.

Have you considered coaching youth basketball?


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[sys]

i don't think the one time thing i want to see or do are very helpful to feeling like you're living a meaningful life or maximizing your time on earth.  i guess everyone's different and maybe for some those are helpful, but to me it'd seem like you probably get a lot of "ok, what now" feelings after you complete one and maybe some "well, eff, not sure that was worth it" feelings as well.  i think you need activities or goals that are sort of continuous.

[sys]

Honestly, yours is a "crisis" everyone should kind of want to have...

Giving it basically zero thought, I think I'd try and become a big camping guy.  My neighbor and his wife go camping in arkansas and colorado a few times a year and i've always found myself envious of that.

yeah.  my goals have been pretty de minimis, tbf.  one real option that i didn't mention is just move those goals up a notch and keep working for a while longer.

i've thought about buying one of those camper things and spend a year or two touring the u.s.  i think i could get reasonably into it, but my wife isn't that enthusiastic and at least in my mind, it'd be sort of a limited-term thing, not a permanent lifestyle.

[Spracne]

i don't think the one time thing i want to see or do are very helpful to feeling like you're living a meaningful life or maximizing your time on earth.  i guess everyone's different and maybe for some those are helpful, but to me it'd seem like you probably get a lot of "ok, what now" feelings after you complete one and maybe some "well, eff, not sure that was worth it" feelings as well.  i think you need activities or goals that are sort of continuous.

Have you considered earnestly, for a short period of time, suspending your belief that supply-side economics works? It might do wonders for you in your MLC.

[sys]

So if you retire at 55, what's the move for insurance and accessing tax advantaged retirement accounts?

i pay for my own insurance now, so if we stayed in the u.s. we'd just keep doing that.  if we moved to a country with a different health care system, we'd do whatever needs to be done for that country.

i don't anticipate accessing my retirement accounts until traditional retirement age.

[sys]

check pm but I think in general if you are finding a way to contribute to people with your time and develop a sense of community with others, that will be more fulfilling. You may take for granted and even resent most co-workers, but the absence of social interaction/connection is one of the biggest causes of dissatisfaction with retirement and there is a growing body of evidence that it has really bad outcomes for your health as well.

yeah, this is a concern.  most of my social interaction is through work and i don't think i'd be very good at replacing that without some sort of a structure that forces it.

my wife is much more social than i am, but i'm not sure being dependent on her to enable all or almost all of our extramarital social interactions would be healthy.

[sys]

Also sys, I wouldn't recommend choosing the path where you spend all your free time on Twitter and message boards.

it's surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) appealing.

[sys]

Have you considered earnestly, for a short period of time, suspending your belief that supply-side economics works? It might do wonders for you in your MLC.

i have not considered that.  i don't think i even understand what you're saying.

[michigancat]

Also sys, I wouldn't recommend choosing the path where you spend all your free time on Twitter and message boards.

it's surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) appealing.

Why not run for office or get involved in politics in a meaningful way instead?

[cfbandyman]

Tim Ferris has long been a proponent of mini retirements and I really like the concept.  Sort of plays to Chum recognizing that your body wears out and doing the things you wanted to at 65 are likely not going to be feasible physically.  I think I'd consider what CF3 did as a good example of it where you just take a few years off or do something less strenuous and do things you enjoy to recharge the batteries.

In reality, I think you would have to have a crap ton of money, a skill that will always have access to immediate employment with high pay, or live extraordinarily frugal, to make this work.

I tend to agree. I'm 34 (almost 35) and I'm nearing what I'll call my first retirement, from working on the road. It's exhausting and I'm beyond mentally drained, but financially I have set myself up to where I have quite a bit saved. Not enough to fully retire, but enough that I am either going to just work bare minimum in the office or change my career completely. I am hoping to at least get a sabbatical/some amount of significant when I'm back to refocus on myself and do some things for myself. I am definitely done with the current job though when I've reached about 2 mil in my combined ESOP/401k. I figure that is enough to then go do, idk anything really.

FTR I also don't ever see myself ever being "retired." Just more doing things that are less stressful. Work in a non profit, or work being a cashier or barista or whatever. And even if you think that is too stressful, it's nothing I think compared to being on the road working 50+ hours a week. I'd be happy to work 30 ish hours and then have the rest of my time to volunteer, or golf or whatever. I figure my daily job is enough to get me out and socialize and do something, and basically have enough money to pay for day to day things, and big expenses and the like will eventually come out of my nest egg.

I also don't see this as obtainable for most people, especially ones with kids, and/or with expensive hobbies and whatnot.

get super ripped

Yes.

What I would like my time off to do 

[sys]

Why not run for office or get involved in politics in a meaningful way instead?

i don't think i'd be a good politician, nor do i think i'd enjoy it.  i don't have enough money to be a booster, i don't agree with either party enough to want to systematically help them get elected and i'm not focused enough to be like a nonpartisan single-issue activist.

[CNS]

i don't think the one time thing i want to see or do are very helpful to feeling like you're living a meaningful life or maximizing your time on earth.  i guess everyone's different and maybe for some those are helpful, but to me it'd seem like you probably get a lot of "ok, what now" feelings after you complete one and maybe some "well, eff, not sure that was worth it" feelings as well.  i think you need activities or goals that are sort of continuous.

I get this, but so far it has been like other things for me.  Once you get into something you see other related things that weren't necessarily visible to you before.

[michigancat]

Why not run for office or get involved in politics in a meaningful way instead?

i don't think i'd be a good politician, nor do i think i'd enjoy it.  i don't have enough money to be a booster, i don't agree with either party enough to want to systematically help them get elected and i'm not focused enough to be like a nonpartisan single-issue activist.

surely there's a local politician you like? See how you can get involved! change them from the inside!!!

[sys]

i don't think that's for me, michigancat.

[mocat]

when sys said he'd like to spend his time "rough ridin' around w. snakes" he did not mean politicians

[CNS]

Start a snake related business.  That seems niche enough that there would be something you could do where there may not be market saturation.

I know a local here that does wildly well financially selling feeder animals to reptile ppl.  He does a bunch of trade shows and makes a killing. 

A large amount of his business is conducted online. 

[sys]

Start a snake related business.

that's more or less what i've always planned on doing after retirement.  my current feeling of rudderlessness is that i seem to have lost most of my enthusiasm for that activity in the last few years.

[tdaver]

Is it a mid-life crisis when you have anxiety about not making enough memories with children?  Seems more like parental guilt, but I can see it morphing into a mid-life crisis with the actions taken to assuage the guilt.

Not sure, but focus on making the memories simple, not epic. If you take your kids to the Grand Canyon and the ocean great, but a simple trip to the library or bedtime reading or playing chess or whatever can be just as awesome.

This so much.  My oldest is already a sophomore in HS, and I feel the clock ticking. We’ve taken some great trips, but just day to day messing around with my kids can be so much fun.

[Justwin]

Not sure if this is a mid-life crisis or not, but my wife and I are in the process (under contract) of buying 168 acres in Wilson County, KS. It is primarily a grass property. There are some hardwoods on the southern portion around the creeks. We currently own 80 acres in Wilson County and will likely sell that.

The 168 acres has a house on it and we will move there in the next 3-6 months and sell our current house in Manhattan.

Our plan is to plant a pecan orchard and graze sheep and cattle. We'll probably also do some pastured poultry and pastured pork. The grazing will be done in a Greg Judy-style regenerative way.

In the last 12 months we have also purchased a mature 22-acre pecan orchard that is 15 minutes southeast of Little Rock, AR as well as a retail pecan business that goes along with it. We purchased this with friends of ours from when we lived in Little Rock and they live at the farm to manage the day to day things.