midlife crises

[CNS]

I started the Chum plan about 6 months ago. 

I made a list(no certain order):
1. Nazare Portugal.  I saw the HBO thing about 100ft waves and I have to see those in real life before I die.
2. I want to go see the Northern Lights in one of the Scandinavian countries, Iceland, or something like that.  I want one of those bungalow things where it's dark as eff and just wild space light.
3. I want to go on a hike trip in a Dark Sky refuge where we can get the absolute best view of the Milky Way available in the US.
4. I want to hike as much of the Utah national parks as I can before getting bored with them.
5. I want to see a glacier and hike that [redacted].  Probably can roll this one in with #2.

There are other things, but this is an example.

There was/is a fantastic place in Akureyri Iceland for that. Has a hot tub and overlooks a fjord and to the north.

That sounds like the best place to start looking, so far.

[mocat]

Look, you have a limited number of years before your body starts to really suck crap. Think about all of the epic crap you didn't do when you were younger because of life. The stuff that makes you think, "man, it would kick so much ass if I could do that." Make plans to do that stuff. Educate yourself about that stuff. Train your body for that stuff. Then, do that stuff.

yeah, that's fun to say. but irl nobody does that. have to start small.

That's what I'm saying. Start small now. Because if it's truly epic crap, it's gonna take a lotta work to make it happen. I have plans to do stuff in 6-8 years that I've started working toward now. It gives me tons of purpose for when my kids are out on their own.

what kind of crap?

Whatever you think kicks ass. Like, play around at local bars with a band. Or play in the local symphony. Or act in the local theater. Shred up a bowl on a skateboard. Or be an expert snow skier doing jumps and stuff. Compete in tournaments for like chess or ping pong or badminton or whatever.

or tdaver stuff

https://goEMAW.com/forum/index.php?topic=27622.msg2093008#msg2093008

[cfbandyman]

Look, you have a limited number of years before your body starts to really suck crap. Think about all of the epic crap you didn't do when you were younger because of life. The stuff that makes you think, "man, it would kick so much ass if I could do that." Make plans to do that stuff. Educate yourself about that stuff. Train your body for that stuff. Then, do that stuff.

yeah, that's fun to say. but irl nobody does that. have to start small.

That's what I'm saying. Start small now. Because if it's truly epic crap, it's gonna take a lotta work to make it happen. I have plans to do stuff in 6-8 years that I've started working toward now. It gives me tons of purpose for when my kids are out on their own.

what kind of crap?

1.) Go skydiving
2.) Go Rocky Mountain climbing
3.) Go 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu
4.) Love deeper
5.) Speak sweeter (should be more sweetly)
6.) Give forgiveness you've been denying

Already got that done  would recommend

[cfbandyman]

I started the Chum plan about 6 months ago. 

I made a list(no certain order):
1. Nazare Portugal.  I saw the HBO thing about 100ft waves and I have to see those in real life before I die.
2. I want to go see the Northern Lights in one of the Scandinavian countries, Iceland, or something like that.  I want one of those bungalow things where it's dark as eff and just wild space light.
3. I want to go on a hike trip in a Dark Sky refuge where we can get the absolute best view of the Milky Way available in the US.
4. I want to hike as much of the Utah national parks as I can before getting bored with them.
5. I want to see a glacier and hike that [redacted].  Probably can roll this one in with #2.

There are other things, but this is an example.

There was/is a fantastic place in Akureyri Iceland for that. Has a hot tub and overlooks a fjord and to the north.

That sounds like the best place to start looking, so far.

https://www.airbnb.ca/rooms/4221181?source_impression_id=p3_1695394442_oxHKxjQxx8PlPYKQ

[Spracne]

I started the Chum plan about 6 months ago. 

I made a list(no certain order):
1. Nazare Portugal.  I saw the HBO thing about 100ft waves and I have to see those in real life before I die.
2. I want to go see the Northern Lights in one of the Scandinavian countries, Iceland, or something like that.  I want one of those bungalow things where it's dark as eff and just wild space light.
3. I want to go on a hike trip in a Dark Sky refuge where we can get the absolute best view of the Milky Way available in the US.
4. I want to hike as much of the Utah national parks as I can before getting bored with them.
5. I want to see a glacier and hike that [redacted].  Probably can roll this one in with #2.

There are other things, but this is an example.

There was/is a fantastic place in Akureyri Iceland for that. Has a hot tub and overlooks a fjord and to the north.

Not to mention, Icelandic women have no problem just hanging out nude in the hot springs and wherever else isn’t bitter cold.

[yachtbroker]

Is it a mid-life crisis when you have anxiety about not making enough memories with children?  Seems more like parental guilt, but I can see it morphing into a mid-life crisis with the actions taken to assuage the guilt. 

[Cartierfor3]

Is it a mid-life crisis when you have anxiety about not making enough memories with children?  Seems more like parental guilt, but I can see it morphing into a mid-life crisis with the actions taken to assuage the guilt.

Not sure, but focus on making the memories simple, not epic. If you take your kids to the Grand Canyon and the ocean great, but a simple trip to the library or bedtime reading or playing chess or whatever can be just as awesome.

[Spracne]

Is it a mid-life crisis when you have anxiety about not making enough memories with children?  Seems more like parental guilt, but I can see it morphing into a mid-life crisis with the actions taken to assuage the guilt.

Sir, boats can sell themselves, but children need their father’s love.

[BIG APPLE CAT]

Man, like, i KNOW that WW is in his mid 30s-ish, but every time i'm reminded of that it hits me like a sledgehammer. One of those things that i know but immediately forget until reminded. Like even in 5 minutes from now if i were to take a timed test (magic minute, for example) and one of the questions was "how old is WW?" i would mark bubble C (bubble C is 40-50 yrs old)

[yachtbroker]

Is it a mid-life crisis when you have anxiety about not making enough memories with children?  Seems more like parental guilt, but I can see it morphing into a mid-life crisis with the actions taken to assuage the guilt.

Sir, boats can sell themselves, but children need their father’s love.

So, build the lake house.  Got it.

[TheHamburglar]

I'm pretty much content with whatever. Have you midlife crisis-havers considered doing that? Huh?

I’ve only wished for the ability to do this every damn day.

I remember being 12 & seeing other people’s parents just seem happy/content in an average M-F, 8-5 job and wishing I could have that. (I don’t mean having parents like that, I mean that for myself). But now I know they had other stress & I just didn’t see when they were sitting at the table trying to budget/not saving for later.

[Spracne]

Man, like, i KNOW that WW is in his mid 30s-ish, but every time i'm reminded of that it hits me like a sledgehammer. One of those things that i know but immediately forget until reminded. Like even in 5 minutes from now if i were to take a timed test (magic minute, for example) and one of the questions was "how old is WW?" i would mark bubble C (bubble C is 40-50 yrs old)

It surprises me, too. I guess we're around the same age, but I've always kind of assumed that I'm the third youngest regular poster here, behind Winters and Greg.

[Dugout DickStone]

get super ripped

[michigancat]

Is it a mid-life crisis when you have anxiety about not making enough memories with children?  Seems more like parental guilt, but I can see it morphing into a mid-life crisis with the actions taken to assuage the guilt.

Not sure, but focus on making the memories simple, not epic. If you take your kids to the Grand Canyon and the ocean great, but a simple trip to the library or bedtime reading or playing chess or whatever can be just as awesome.

this is a kinder version of what I would advise. Just be there and everything can be a great memory. If the question is "are you there enough right now?", you should answer that and see if you can change it before asking if you will regret not being there enough somewhere down the road.

[TheHamburglar]

Random things they’ll love & remember can/do happen when you do the mundane things. Sometimes doing the mundane things lead you to finding something they’ll love/remember. They happen a small percentage of the time, but they do happen more often than you think. It’s probably wrong to say that spending time doing mundane things with your kids is an “investment”, but it eventually pays off in the memories category.

[DQ12]

we're about at that life stage now, no?  anyone (else) experiencing one?


personally, i'm maybe doing so?  i've basically hit my financial goals and am in a position to execute on my life plan (not work, not live in fresno and instead spend my time rough ridin' around w. snakes), but i'm no longer sure that's what i want or what my wife would tolerate.  it's a weird feeling.

Honestly, yours is a "crisis" everyone should kind of want to have.  Boy, I've hit my career goals, now I just need to figure out what to do with my disposable time/income.  I don't say that to minimize the crisis, just to put it in perspective a little bit.  Ideally, I'd like to face that same dilemma sometime here in the next 20 years or so.

Giving it basically zero thought, I think I'd try and become a big camping guy.  My neighbor and his wife go camping in arkansas and colorado a few times a year and i've always found myself envious of that.

[TheHamburglar]

we're about at that life stage now, no?  anyone (else) experiencing one?


personally, i'm maybe doing so?  i've basically hit my financial goals and am in a position to execute on my life plan (not work, not live in fresno and instead spend my time rough ridin' around w. snakes), but i'm no longer sure that's what i want or what my wife would tolerate.  it's a weird feeling.

Honestly, yours is a "crisis" everyone should kind of want to have.  Boy, I've hit my career goals, now I just need to figure out what to do with my disposable time/income.  I don't say that to minimize the crisis, just to put it in perspective a little bit.  Ideally, I'd like to face that same dilemma sometime here in the next 20 years or so.

Giving it basically zero thought, I think I'd try and become a big camping guy.  My neighbor and his wife go camping in arkansas and colorado a few times a year and i've always found myself envious of that.

There is definitely a guilt component to it. Knowing you feel a certain way, but that a large chunk of the population would kill to have your problems.

[Dugout DickStone]

I like camping guy idea

[wetwillie]

So if you retire at 55, what's the move for insurance and accessing tax advantaged retirement accounts? 

[Justwin]

So if you retire at 55, what's the move for insurance and accessing tax advantaged retirement accounts?

There are ways to access Roth funds before you are 59 1/2 without penalty.

I imagine a person would get health insurance through the exchange. If your income isn't too high, there would also probably be a lot of subsidies for you. You could structure your income correctly to keep it down to get maximum subsidies.

[TheHamburglar]

So if you retire at 55, what's the move for insurance and accessing tax advantaged retirement accounts?

Not exactly sure what my options will be, but I know enough people that I’ll be able to figure it out. I know people that have invested in a company & part of the deal was they became minimum wage level employees in an advisor role that gave them access to health insurance.

[Kat Kid]

check pm but I think in general if you are finding a way to contribute to people with your time and develop a sense of community with others, that will be more fulfilling. You may take for granted and even resent most co-workers, but the absence of social interaction/connection is one of the biggest causes of dissatisfaction with retirement and there is a growing body of evidence that it has really bad outcomes for your health as well.

[wetwillie]

Tim Ferris has long been a proponent of mini retirements and I really like the concept.  Sort of plays to Chum recognizing that your body wears out and doing the things you wanted to at 65 are likely not going to be feasible physically.  I think I'd consider what CF3 did as a good example of it where you just take a few years off or do something less strenuous and do things you enjoy to recharge the batteries. 

[CNS]

Tim Ferris has long been a proponent of mini retirements and I really like the concept.  Sort of plays to Chum recognizing that your body wears out and doing the things you wanted to at 65 are likely not going to be feasible physically.  I think I'd consider what CF3 did as a good example of it where you just take a few years off or do something less strenuous and do things you enjoy to recharge the batteries.

In reality, I think you would have to have a crap ton of money, a skill that will always have access to immediate employment with high pay, or live extraordinarily frugal, to make this work. 

[Phil Titola]

I've now confirmed via this thread I have not had nor am I currently having a mid life crisis. I think I forgot to have one.