Hello, Kansas Tech fans, I'm looking forward to the challenge of your team visiting Nashville to feast on our famous hot chicken and audition for admission to a major sports conference. I have no doubt that your team will be very ready for this confrontation because your coach is very old.
By the numbers, Vanderbilt...VANDERBILT is ranked #14 in the latest US News Rankings; we tend to graduate folks that become doctors and lawyers that make lots of money. We also live in penthouses and enjoy 4th and 5th homes in exotic locations. We have been raised with the etiquette guidance of Letitia Baldridge; we are also near-perfect physical specimens that enjoy exceptional success behind the bedroom door.
The Vanderbilt...VANDERBILT endowment is nearly $4.0 billion dollars. By comparison, the entire state of Kansas was recently valued at a dollar and 5 cents (wet) according to multiple internet sources. In fact, the internet was invented by a Vanderbilt...VANDERBILT graduate by the name of Al Gore, Jr. (former Vice-President of the United States).
Vanderbilt...VANDERBILT owns FOUR National Championships in College Football and was the birthplace of college basketball; we also field exceptional baseball, women's bowling and golf teams.
I expect Kansas to provide an appropriate tune-up for our team as we look forward to the CBS Game of the Week against Alabama (in Nashville) the following week. Aside from crushing you (we will have a visible, physical size advantage), we have very skilled tight-ends, wide receivers and running-backs--all are SEC quality. By comparison, Kansas has the actor that played Loki in the Avengers movie whose skills have diminished, significantly, since his career high-water mark.
For the scrimmage, the weather should be excellent and my Ladies and I intend on dressing to the nines; later, my Ladies and I will party on Broadway, become exceptionally inebriated and probably end up with a bill for damages to the Presidential Suite where we a staying for the weekend. Good luck and safe travels.
Most Sincerely,
A very, very successful Vanderbilt...VANDERBILT graduate that has lots, and lots, and lots of money.