im not a lawn guy but having read through this thread at a visceral distance, the answer, it appears, as it is with most things, is the more chemicals, the better
and water. lots of water. I do the bare minimum to not be "that guy" in my neighborhood and have the bad yard. ten minutes per zone every other day in the summer if no rain. crabgrass preventer and then later spot spray. not that tough but still annoying.
40 minutes once per week is MUCH better than 10 minutes every other day.
my yard has a pretty decent slope so this is the worst possible advice that you could give me. but thanks for the bad advice as always, mikey.
Water 4 times a day for 10 minutes each time. Do not water every day, no matter how hot it is.
bluevillenurserycat tells/told me that i should do each zone for ten minutes two times a day every other day and that i should do it around 4am. like cycle through all the zones and then immediately cycle through them again. my problem w/ this is that i am lazy and don't know how to program my programmer so i just manually turn them on in the morning if it hasn't rained for a couple of days. indoor related story to show my laziness- my thermostat suddenly started automatically going to 65 degrees at about 5pm late last summer. i'd get home from work and just mind my own business and then all of the sudden it would be really cold in the house and then i'd be all oh god darnit, guess it's 5pm. time to go manually adjust whatever the thermostat just automatically did. anyway, that went on for a month and then it got cold so i stopped using the AC. well the other day it was warm so we turned the thermostat to cool instead of heat. then around 6pm i'm all gosh darn it's kind of cold in here. guess what? the darn son of a gun was back at sixty five. have i figured out how to make it stop? no. no i haven't.
That story made my smile and feel good inside that you shared it. Thank you!
bluevillenurserycat knows what he is talking about. I said 4 times in refernce to the 40 min vs. 10 min. Also, if you really have a steep hill, you might want to water it more than twice a day, but you get the idea. Have a buddy program your thermostat and sprinkler. There are a bunch of people that get off on doing that for others. I never volunteer, but I have programmed a few sprinkler systems for some of my neighbors and friends. I ask them if they want to learn how or if they just want me to do it for them. Make certain to tell them that you don't want to know how to do it..."here are the keys to the house, make my thermostat work right. The beer is in the fridge." I have seen some people get really adament on wanting to teach somebody how easy it is to program a thermostat. IF I DON'T WANT TO LEARN, THEN DON'T EFF'n TRY TO TEACH ME is what I always say. (dobber 3:16)