OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread

[kim carnes]

Please describe your method and any difficulties (lol, right.) you may have had.

i jumped on its back, quickly put it in a figure 4 leg lock (picture a person hanging upside down from a cow's neck with their legs to strangle it), and that was all she wrote.  i didn't even break a sweat 

[Saulbadguy]

any cat. the weak point is their neckmeat. Just pick them up by that and they are disabled, no matter how feral/crazy they are.

scruff, not neckmeat

WELL NO crap PISSCLAMS, I just figured, how many people would know what I was talking about if I typed "scruff" instead of neckmeat? Maybe 89%. I figured 100% coverage w/ "neckmeat" would work much better.

Anyways, I have to scruff my cats to get them to go in their cat carriers b/c they know they are going to the vet when they see those.

[steve dave]

I could not take a great white shark

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/16/west-australia-shark-attack-great-white-bites-surfer-linden-in-half-video_n_1677290.html

 

[Saulbadguy]

I could not take a great white shark

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/16/west-australia-shark-attack-great-white-bites-surfer-linden-in-half-video_n_1677290.html

 

Yeah, but you could avoid it really easily. I never understood why JAWS was so scary. Just don't get on a boat, dock, pier, etc....and you'll be safe.

[Ghost of Stan Parrish]

True story: GOSP is going to the beach where Jaws was supposedly set for the weekend.  Hopefully I'll report back.

[Cartierfor3]

Tore up a bat that somehow got into my bedroom last night. 

[ben ji]

Tore up a bat that somehow got into my bedroom last night.

Wow, looks like someone actually manned up and put all these other posers in their place.

What technique did you use?

Personally I would of gone with a swinging attack using the mini george brett pine tar bat I keep by my bedside for just such an occasion(i have a judge for larger animals/criminals)

[Cartierfor3]

Tore up a bat that somehow got into my bedroom last night.

Wow, looks like someone actually manned up and put all these other posers in their place.

What technique did you use?

Personally I would of gone with a swinging attack using the mini george brett pine tar bat I keep by my bedside for just such an occasion(i have a judge for larger animals/criminals)

I went with the open a window and femininely swing a broom at it trying to get it to fly out the window.  When that didn't work I trapped him using a plastic crate, and threw the crate WITH BAT out the window.  Then I went outside to check on it, and the crate had pinned the bat down on my deck.  I lifted it up and he flew away, because I'm a good person and in touch with nature. 

[Rage Against the McKee]

Tore up a bat that somehow got into my bedroom last night.

Wow, looks like someone actually manned up and put all these other posers in their place.

What technique did you use?

Personally I would of gone with a swinging attack using the mini george brett pine tar bat I keep by my bedside for just such an occasion(i have a judge for larger animals/criminals)

I went with the open a window and femininely swing a broom at it trying to get it to fly out the window.  When that didn't work I trapped him using a plastic crate, and threw the crate WITH BAT out the window.  Then I went outside to check on it, and the crate had pinned the bat down on my deck.  I lifted it up and he flew away, because I'm a good person and in touch with nature.

LOL, this thread is about fighting animals with your bare hands. You can't use a broom or any other weapon.

[Cartierfor3]

Tore up a bat that somehow got into my bedroom last night.

Wow, looks like someone actually manned up and put all these other posers in their place.

What technique did you use?

Personally I would of gone with a swinging attack using the mini george brett pine tar bat I keep by my bedside for just such an occasion(i have a judge for larger animals/criminals)

I went with the open a window and femininely swing a broom at it trying to get it to fly out the window.  When that didn't work I trapped him using a plastic crate, and threw the crate WITH BAT out the window.  Then I went outside to check on it, and the crate had pinned the bat down on my deck.  I lifted it up and he flew away, because I'm a good person and in touch with nature.

LOL, this thread is about fighting animals with your bare hands. You can't use a broom or any other weapon.

Fine.  Mods move my posts to amazing animals stories thread. 

[steve dave]

I had a bat stuck to an apartment wall one time.  just hanging out there in the living room.  grabbed it with a sweatshirt as a glove and then threw it outside and it flew away.  the sweatshirt was cheating.  barehanded he would have probably whooped me. 

[Ghost of Stan Parrish]

True story: GOSP is going to the beach where Jaws was supposedly set for the weekend.  Hopefully I'll report back.

Thanks to the hundreds of posters here who pm'ed me to express concern.  I did go for a few swims, but I'm just fine!  Don't worry!   

[slobber]

True story: GOSP is going to the beach where Jaws was supposedly set for the weekend.  Hopefully I'll report back.

Thanks to the hundreds of posters here who pm'ed me to express concern.  I did go for a few swims, but I'm just fine!  Don't worry!   

Yeah, but did your daughter make it back?

[Mr Bread]

I was really drunk during one hell week at my fraternity and I grabbed a bat that was in an upstairs bedroom of the house with my bare hand.  It had landed on a bed after someone had thrown a blanket at it.  He was a tiny little guy, but fearsome angry.  I put him down the back of a pledge's tighty whities.  He (the pledge) had a pillow case on his head at the time, so I don't know if he ever really knew what the eff was up.  I don't remember what happened after that.  I most likely stumbled off to be more of a barbaric prick to somebody else. 

[Rage Against the McKee]

I was really drunk during one hell week at my fraternity and I grabbed a bat that was in an upstairs bedroom of the house with my bare hand.  It had landed on a bed after someone had thrown a blanket at it.  He was a tiny little guy, but fearsome angry.  I put him down the back of a pledge's tighty whities.  He (the pledge) had a pillow case on his head at the time, so I don't know if he ever really knew what the eff was up.  I don't remember what happened after that.  I most likely stumbled off to be more of a barbaric prick to somebody else. 

What you don't remember is your fraternity bro dying of rabies after that bat bit his pecker.

[Mr Bread]

I was really drunk during one hell week at my fraternity and I grabbed a bat that was in an upstairs bedroom of the house with my bare hand.  It had landed on a bed after someone had thrown a blanket at it.  He was a tiny little guy, but fearsome angry.  I put him down the back of a pledge's tighty whities.  He (the pledge) had a pillow case on his head at the time, so I don't know if he ever really knew what the eff was up.  I don't remember what happened after that.  I most likely stumbled off to be more of a barbaric prick to somebody else. 

What you don't remember is your fraternity bro dying of rabies after that bat bit his pecker.

Down the back of the tighty whities.  My drunken sociopathy only goes so far.  He didn't die.  I saw him fairly regularly over the next two years.   Did not appear to be rabid, but can't confirm. 

[The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep]

You're kind of sick, Bread.

[Mr Bread]

You're kind of sick, Bread.

Me really drunk is a major double-edged sword for all involved.  I can be pretty hilarious, charismatic, life of the party, etc.  However there always exists the possibility for great destruction and/or despicable acts of a juvenile nature.  At least that was the case in days gone by.  I've evolved since then.  Unfortunately, many of the people I hung out with loved the hell out of both aspects and often delighted in my being a lumbering drunken man-baby as long as it wasn't directed at them.  If anything it was, at least implicitly, encouraged.  Even now, when we get together one of the favorite topics is Mr Bread stories.  I led a very charmed drunk life.  It is a near miracle I managed to stumble through it without out ruining my life in some manner or another.

As far as me being sick, yeah probably.  If I'm doing all that stuff drunk, then it's in there somewhere. 

[Ghost of Stan Parrish]

True story: GOSP is going to the beach where Jaws was supposedly set for the weekend.  Hopefully I'll report back.

Thanks to the hundreds of posters here who pm'ed me to express concern.  I did go for a few swims, but I'm just fine!  Don't worry!   

Yeah, but did your daughter make it back?

She's not my daughter!  (Man, I've never made a post that was so fanningesque...)

[The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep]

You're kind of sick, Bread.

Me really drunk is a major double-edged sword for all involved.  I can be pretty hilarious, charismatic, life of the party, etc.  However there always exists the possibility for great destruction and/or despicable acts of a juvenile nature.  At least that was the case in days gone by.  I've evolved since then.  Unfortunately, many of the people I hung out with loved the hell out of both aspects and often delighted in my being a lumbering drunken man-baby as long as it wasn't directed at them.  If anything it was, at least implicitly, encouraged.  Even now, when we get together one of the favorite topics is Mr Bread stories.  I led a very charmed drunk life.  It is a near miracle I managed to stumble through it without out ruining my life in some manner or another.

As far as me being sick, yeah probably.  If I'm doing all that stuff drunk, then it's in there somewhere.

I'm sure the fraternity culture didn't tame your destructive nature, either.  Its really hard to turn down a funny idea when you're drunk and 20 other drunk people are chanting something. Chanting is just so fun.

[bubbles4ksu]

You're kind of sick, Bread.

Me really drunk is a major double-edged sword for all involved.  I can be pretty hilarious, charismatic, life of the party, etc.  However there always exists the possibility for great destruction and/or despicable acts of a juvenile nature.  At least that was the case in days gone by.  I've evolved since then.  Unfortunately, many of the people I hung out with loved the hell out of both aspects and often delighted in my being a lumbering drunken man-baby as long as it wasn't directed at them.  If anything it was, at least implicitly, encouraged.  Even now, when we get together one of the favorite topics is Mr Bread stories.  I led a very charmed drunk life.  It is a near miracle I managed to stumble through it without out ruining my life in some manner or another.

As far as me being sick, yeah probably.  If I'm doing all that stuff drunk, then it's in there somewhere.

I'm sure the fraternity culture didn't tame your destructive nature, either.  Its really hard to turn down a funny idea when you're drunk and 20 other drunk people are chanting something. Chanting is just so fun.

let's hear some of your crazy stories, This is bullshit I demand my name be changed.

[Mr Bread]

You're kind of sick, Bread.

Me really drunk is a major double-edged sword for all involved.  I can be pretty hilarious, charismatic, life of the party, etc.  However there always exists the possibility for great destruction and/or despicable acts of a juvenile nature.  At least that was the case in days gone by.  I've evolved since then.  Unfortunately, many of the people I hung out with loved the hell out of both aspects and often delighted in my being a lumbering drunken man-baby as long as it wasn't directed at them.  If anything it was, at least implicitly, encouraged.  Even now, when we get together one of the favorite topics is Mr Bread stories.  I led a very charmed drunk life.  It is a near miracle I managed to stumble through it without out ruining my life in some manner or another.

As far as me being sick, yeah probably.  If I'm doing all that stuff drunk, then it's in there somewhere.

I'm sure the fraternity culture didn't tame your destructive nature, either.  Its really hard to turn down a funny idea when you're drunk and 20 other drunk people are chanting something. Chanting is just so fun.

Actually everything I did, I did because it occurred to me to do it.  I was the only audience I ever had in mind.  My own amusement was my sole motivation.  More often than not, it pissed somebody off.  Like I say though, I made it through relatively unscathed and now I have a crap ton of, what was seemingly incredibly fun at the time, quasi-memories and stories friends like to tell about me.  The funniest part for me is that the stories have become sort of Paul Bunyany in the retellings as the years go by.  They get slightly more outrageous every time.  It's a very weird phenomenon. 

[The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep]

You're kind of sick, Bread.

Me really drunk is a major double-edged sword for all involved.  I can be pretty hilarious, charismatic, life of the party, etc.  However there always exists the possibility for great destruction and/or despicable acts of a juvenile nature.  At least that was the case in days gone by.  I've evolved since then.  Unfortunately, many of the people I hung out with loved the hell out of both aspects and often delighted in my being a lumbering drunken man-baby as long as it wasn't directed at them.  If anything it was, at least implicitly, encouraged.  Even now, when we get together one of the favorite topics is Mr Bread stories.  I led a very charmed drunk life.  It is a near miracle I managed to stumble through it without out ruining my life in some manner or another.

As far as me being sick, yeah probably.  If I'm doing all that stuff drunk, then it's in there somewhere.

I'm sure the fraternity culture didn't tame your destructive nature, either.  Its really hard to turn down a funny idea when you're drunk and 20 other drunk people are chanting something. Chanting is just so fun.

Actually everything I did, I did because it occurred to me to do it.  I was the only audience I ever had in mind.  My own amusement was my sole motivation.  More often than not, it pissed somebody off.  Like I say though, I made it through relatively unscathed and now I have a crap ton of, what was seemingly incredibly fun at the time, quasi-memories and stories friends like to tell about me.  The funniest part for me is that the stories have become sort of Paul Bunyany in the retellings as the years go by.  They get slightly more outrageous every time.  It's a very weird phenomenon.

Yup, you're sick.

[asava]

What the eff have you people done with this once perfectly good thread?

[slobber]

What the eff have you people done with this once perfectly good thread?

I think Mr. Bread has outed himself as an animal and everyone is now sizing up whether or not they could take him.