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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:05:09 PM

Title: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:05:09 PM
on an off day i think i could easily win against any non-predatory bird. maybe not a hummingbird (too fast). most owls. definitely all penguins.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:05:46 PM
an ostrich would whoop your ass with both wings tied behind it's back
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:06:33 PM
also an emu.  your entrails would be splattered all over the ground at your feet.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:07:05 PM
You could take all species of penguin on land but in the water game over man....game over
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:08:31 PM
I could easily beat any 5 rodents in a fight 1 on 5.  This is obviously not taking into account things such as plague and hantivirus where I would later die and people would say stupid crap like, "well, looks like it was a draw afterall"
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:10:26 PM
a portugese man o' war would beat me in a fight.  but it wouldn't really be fair, would it?  the portugese man o' war is actually TWO SEPERATE animals.  sd declared the winner on a technicality. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Fldermaus on July 11, 2012, 12:11:07 PM
I could easily beat any 5 rodents in a fight 1 on 5.  This is obviously not taking into account things such as plague and hantivirus where I would later die and people would say stupid crap like, "well, looks like it was a draw afterall"

500 lbs of capybaras disagree.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:11:50 PM
an ostrich would whoop your ass with both wings tied behind it's back

also an emu.  your entrails would be splattered all over the ground at your feet.

I did not even think of these two. I would get dominated. no question. although this makes me think maybe not (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsoup.com%2Fwebroot%2Fanimatedgifs5%2F2112274_o.gif&hash=c2f5b89eea90e24ea5c415b912002d7d0ffe3a01)

concede the point on the fight of penguins in water. you're good.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:12:46 PM
I could easily beat any 5 rodents in a fight 1 on 5.  This is obviously not taking into account things such as plague and hantivirus where I would later die and people would say stupid crap like, "well, looks like it was a draw afterall"

500 lbs of capybaras disagree.

I could take them.  absolutely I could.  I've fought 4 and it was no big whoop.  another one in the mix wouldn't be any prob.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Lefty on July 11, 2012, 12:16:10 PM
Anyone think they could take a kangaroo?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:16:29 PM
a tiger or a lion would beat me unless it was like a little baby one and then I would just boot the crap out of it.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:17:01 PM
Anyone think they could take a kangaroo?

lol no way. what am I?  completely rough ridin' crazy with crazy ideas?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:17:37 PM
Anyone think they could take a kangaroo?

lol no way. what am I?  completely rough ridin' crazy with crazy ideas?

THIS.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:18:18 PM
you will get your crap handed to you if you go toe to toe with any primate over 20 lbs.  even a 20 pounder will give you troubles if you let him get behind you. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 12:19:52 PM
Too many to list.   It would be much easier to make a list of animals I could not beat, if that tells you anything.  The strategy I employ is to find the animal's weakness and then exploit it. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Lefty on July 11, 2012, 12:19:58 PM
Kangaroo's are crafty man. They lull you to sleep with their half assed leg kicks and then all of a sudden they go full boar on your ass.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 12:20:23 PM
What about an orangutan? Anyone think they can take one of them on? Oh yeah, not just any old orangutan, but one like Clyde that has been trained to throw viscous right jabs whenever somebody says, "Right turn, Clyde." In fact, it has to be Clyde. Does anyone think they can beat Clyde the orangutan?

Edit, SD already chickened out on Clyde. (He weighs more than 20 lbs.)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:21:01 PM
you will get your crap handed to you if you go toe to toe with any primate over 20 lbs.  even a 20 pounder will give you troubles if you let him get behind you.

chimp strength is messed up. Project Nim. Little chimpanzee basically rips a ladies face off. But I bet they have a glass jaw.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:21:26 PM
What about an orangutan? Anyone think they can take one of them on? Oh yeah, not just any old orangutan, but one like Clyde that has been trained to throw viscous right jabs whenever somebody says, "Right turn, Clyde." In fact, it has to be Clyde. Does anyone think they can beat Clyde the orangutan?

Dude an orangutan will orangufuckyouup.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:22:14 PM
yeah, an orangutan will rip your torso off and beat you with it
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:22:51 PM
Cats. (the house variety)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Lefty on July 11, 2012, 12:24:46 PM
What if you got one weapon. A hand held weapon and nothing mechanical. Could you take a gibbon with a battle axe?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:27:33 PM
What if you got one weapon. A hand held weapon and nothing mechanical. Could you take a gibbon with a battle axe?

Oh for sure. Would be intense, but I think if you had good enough hand eye coordination, game over.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:28:31 PM
that gibbon is going to take that axe from your first thing and then you've got an axe wielding gibbon on your hands
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:29:47 PM
also, if you get to pick a weapon then the gibbon does too.  gibbons always pick grenades and then your ass is going to be blown to crap. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:30:37 PM
that gibbon is going to take that axe from your first thing and then you've got an axe wielding gibbon on your hands

THIS WOULD NOT BE A GOOD TIME.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: bubbles4ksu on July 11, 2012, 12:31:59 PM
i could kill a wolf with my bare hands.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:32:28 PM
i could kill a wolf with my bare hands.

BULLSHIT.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:32:54 PM
i could kill a wolf with my bare hands.

like, maybe a tiny baby diseased wolf with no axe.  MAYBE.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on July 11, 2012, 12:35:06 PM
Are we assuming knowledge of and motivation to win the fight on the part of the animal?  I mean the animal you're going to fight knows it's in a fight with you and wants to win at all costs?  Because if not, then pretty much all (flying) bird fights would me draws.  They would just be like, "eff this, I'm leaving."  Or is that like a tap out?   We need parameters.  If I make a monkey run away from me, do I win? 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 12:35:43 PM
i could kill a wolf with my bare hands.

like, maybe a tiny baby diseased wolf with no axe.  MAYBE.
Plus, you'd have to have broken medicine bottles taped to your hands. Still, MAYBE.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:36:30 PM
how many meerkats to take you?  probably about 100.  they are fast and will kill a cobra or scorpion but they are just so little.  little pointy needle teeth though.  you'd have to kill about 20 right away or the needle teeth bites will start to add up and they will gain the upper hand.  aim your kicks so you catch a few at a time. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:36:56 PM
Are we assuming knowledge of and motivation to win the fight on the part of the animal?  I mean the animal you're going to fight knows it's in a fight with you and wants to win at all costs?  Because if not, then pretty much all (flying) bird fights would me draws.  They would just be like, "eff this, I'm leaving."  Or is that like a tap out?   We need parameters.  If I make a monkey run away from me, do I win?

all animals in the scenarios know that two enter but only one leaves
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 11, 2012, 12:38:34 PM
I feel like I could easily take any non venomous animals under 80 lbs one on one that aren't sea creatures in the sea.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:39:06 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FHwXLQ.jpg&hash=f29c844385e0dfde2490b9a04a204124dd77f51a)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:40:16 PM
I feel like I could easily take any non venomous animals under 80 lbs one on one that aren't sea creatures in the sea.

pffftttt, badger, wolverine, less than 80 lbs primates, THE LIST GOES ON!
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:42:02 PM
I feel like I could easily take any non venomous animals under 80 lbs one on one that aren't sea creatures in the sea.

pffftttt, badger, wolverine, less than 80 lbs primates, THE LIST GOES ON!

a golden eagle would ruin your face.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:42:58 PM
Would you be able to actually fight a skunk or would you have to forfeit?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 12:44:08 PM
Honey-badger? How many?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:45:46 PM
Would you be able to actually fight a skunk or would you have to forfeit?

man, venom and toxins like this are a tough call.  probably should get their own weight class. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 11, 2012, 12:48:03 PM
Badger would be no probs as long as he wasn't in a hole. I would stick out my left hand and snap my fingers and he would lunge for it then I would sweep around with my right hand and grab him in a headlock. I would grab his upper and lower jaws and rend his skull in two, a killing move I learned from King Kong when he beat T-Rex's ass.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: AppleJack on July 11, 2012, 12:48:34 PM
A beagle.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:49:35 PM
A beagle.

You are one bad mother.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:49:43 PM
Badger would be no probs as long as he wasn't in a hole. I would stick out my left hand and snap my fingers and he would lunge for it then I would sweep around with my right hand and grab him in a headlock. I would grab his upper and lower jaws and rend his skull in two, a killing move I learned from King Kong when he beat T-Rex's ass.

what actually happens:

puniraptor reaches out his hand and the badger grabs it and rips it off swallowing it with one bite.  puniraptor screams and starts to run but slips on his own blood and falls to the ground.  the badger, being hungry for more human flesh, grabs puniraptor by the throat and tears it out finally stiffling his girl like screams.  TKO in 13 seconds.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 11, 2012, 12:50:16 PM
hedgehog, they are afraid of everything and can get their head stuck in toilet paper tubes/McFlurry lids. ALSO NOT VERY FAST!!

Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:51:04 PM
hedgehog, they are afraid of everything and can get their head stuck in toilet paper tubes/McFlurry lids. ALSO NOT VERY FAST!!

lol
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:51:55 PM
hedgehog, they are afraid of everything and can get their head stuck in toilet paper tubes/McFlurry lids. ALSO NOT VERY FAST!!

i'll give you hedgehog, but what about its cousin the porcupine*



*don't know if they are actually cousins or not.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on July 11, 2012, 12:52:06 PM
With the below parameters how many of each animal do you think you could take?

Location: OOD but you are only allowed on the bball court. You will be played on the powercat and the animals will be on ALL edges of the court. No entering the stands
Weapon: 1 baseball bat(Aluminum, 32in, 27oz, -5)
Clothing: Fatty T-Shirt, Wrangler Jeans, JC Boots
Animals Mental State: They have not been fed for a week and you have raided their nest

House Cats-

Racoons-

EMPEROR Penguins-

Bald Eagles-

Brown Bear Cubs(4 Months)-

Crows-



Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 11, 2012, 12:52:24 PM
any cat. the weak point is their neckmeat. Just pick them up by that and they are disabled, no matter how feral/crazy they are.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 11, 2012, 12:52:51 PM
hedgehog, they are afraid of everything and can get their head stuck in toilet paper tubes/McFlurry lids. ALSO NOT VERY FAST!!

i'll give you hedgehog, but what about its cousin the porcupine*



*don't know if they are actually cousins or not.
they aren't related and no, can't take a porcupine, would hurt so friggin bad
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:54:14 PM
With the below parameters how many of each animal do you think you could take?

Location: OOD but you are only allowed on the bball court. You will be played on the powercat and the animals will be on ALL edges of the court. No entering the stands
Weapon: 1 baseball bat(Aluminum, 32in, 27oz, -5)
Clothing: Fatty T-Shirt, Wrangler Jeans, JC Boots
Animals Mental State: They have not been fed for a week and you have raided their nest

House Cats- 50

Racoons- 5

Penguins- 100 (zero if OOD flooded)

Bald Eagles- 1

Brown Bear Cubs(4 Months)- I'd be too sad to even get to one.  forfeit.

Crows- about a million
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 11, 2012, 12:55:46 PM
pretty sure I could take a slow loris too

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_ifNvMe6zXXc%2FS92hwsJtxaI%2FAAAAAAAABUs%2F5nC_CqBO5Ng%2Fs1600%2FslowLoris-02.jpg&hash=0634e76a1f981e29bc6c3ba39224cdcf11f9077e)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:56:17 PM
With the below parameters how many of each animal do you think you could take?

Location: OOD but you are only allowed on the bball court. You will be played on the powercat and the animals will be on ALL edges of the court. No entering the stands
Weapon: 1 baseball bat(Aluminum, 32in, 27oz, -5)
Clothing: Fatty T-Shirt, Wrangler Jeans, JC Boots
Animals Mental State: They have not been fed for a week and you have raided their nest

House Cats- 51

Racoons- 6

Penguins- 101

Bald Eagles- 0

Brown Bear Cubs(4 Months)- That's child abuse

Crows- probably like 7


Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 11, 2012, 12:57:01 PM
THE MAJESTIC SUGAR GLIDER!!

Would kill thousands of these

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tcfexotics.com%2Fanimalpic%2Fsugarglider-main.jpg&hash=2b29312cc9b4874c81fb2e29bad938cac67fb9a6)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:57:08 PM
pretty sure I could take a slow loris too

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_ifNvMe6zXXc%2FS92hwsJtxaI%2FAAAAAAAABUs%2F5nC_CqBO5Ng%2Fs1600%2FslowLoris-02.jpg&hash=0634e76a1f981e29bc6c3ba39224cdcf11f9077e)

Thats gotta be some sort of war crime.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 12:57:26 PM
pretty sure I could take a slow loris too

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_ifNvMe6zXXc%2FS92hwsJtxaI%2FAAAAAAAABUs%2F5nC_CqBO5Ng%2Fs1600%2FslowLoris-02.jpg&hash=0634e76a1f981e29bc6c3ba39224cdcf11f9077e)
You are rough ridin' crazy. That dude is just licking his little brother's eyeball after he tore it out. They don't look as mean, but I think they are just like honey-badgers.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:58:05 PM
No way in hell i could take on an alligator turtle.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on July 11, 2012, 12:58:26 PM
Alright guys the penguin question was tilted. These are actually EMPEROR PENGUINS that can reach 4 ft high and weigh up to 100lbs. There will be varying sizes from 2-4 ft and 50-100lbs
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 12:58:54 PM
Alright guys the penguin question was tilted. These are actually EMPEROR PENGUINS that can reach 4 ft high and weigh up to 100lbs. There will be varying sizes from 2-4 ft and 50-100lbs

200 then.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 11, 2012, 12:59:12 PM
squirrels? good luck, they don't trust us. Except the ones on campus that are used to people. Would be able to kill one or two before the entire population would distrust humans again for centuries.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 01:00:11 PM
There are a bunch of pussies on this thread that won't hurt a brown bear cub. Turn that into a grizzly bear cub (4 months). No tapping out because they are adorable.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 01:01:06 PM
I guess I could accidentally snuggle one to death
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 01:01:20 PM
Pitbulls. How many, and how would you go about making sure at least killed the first one?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 01:02:21 PM
There are a bunch of pussies on this thread that won't hurt a brown bear cub. Turn that into a grizzly bear cub (4 months). No tapping out because they are adorable.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwwwdelivery.superstock.com%2FWI%2F223%2F4201%2FPreviewComp%2FSuperStock_4201-41235.jpg&hash=1dda2ae38246ee542ade8b85daa21f9016105907)

4 month old grizzly cub. still pretty adorable.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.cleveland.com%2Fplain-dealer%2Fphoto%2F9797492-large.jpg&hash=8e5553575cf72927111bba137b13fa24c4f94094)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on July 11, 2012, 01:03:11 PM
No way in hell i could take on an alligator turtle.

I accidentally killed a snapping turtle once.  I was on a riding lawnmower.  The grass was deep.  Probabaly a disqualification on me though. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 11, 2012, 01:04:11 PM
Pitbulls. How many, and how would you go about making sure at least killed the first one?
Would kill as many as possible, just to be safe
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 01:04:48 PM
No way in hell i could take on an alligator turtle.

I accidentally killed a snapping turtle once.  I was on a riding lawnmower.  The grass was deep.  Probabaly a disqualification on me though.

it would be like fighting against a guy who has a full body shield and only offensive maneuver ends in you losing a finger.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Ghost of Stan Parrish on July 11, 2012, 01:07:20 PM
Man v. cat?  Pinky makes me think I don't want any part of that.   :embarrassed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR_LHlFwlhk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR_LHlFwlhk)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 11, 2012, 01:15:09 PM
TALK crap NOW HOMIE

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_-4npEHXMGVg%2FSi-0q5QPBmI%2FAAAAAAAABfY%2FG5Q_fD2b09Y%2Fs320%2Fbadger.jpg&hash=aff9d3cde8b7fd4f88c2fcdbf7396d1cc3130e4c)

I am actually getting pretty amped about this badger fight!
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 11, 2012, 01:17:19 PM
You know what your problem is? You guys are afraid to die. I'm not afraid to die wrestling a 7 foot tall bear. I won't die, but I'll tell you what I will have... A kick ass Wikipedia page.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 01:23:14 PM
You know what your problem is? You guys are afraid to die. I'm not afraid to die wrestling a 7 foot tall bear. I won't die, but I'll tell you what I will have... A kick ass Wikipedia page.

you'll probably die.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 11, 2012, 01:27:37 PM
naked mole rats share a hive mind and are immune to cancer and look like penises so I think they would be pretty tough to fight.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: AbeFroman on July 11, 2012, 01:35:30 PM
I would like to fight an anteater. rough rider can't snort me to death, I'd break his nose.

Also, any non-poisonous snake under 6 feet. After 6 feet you're probably mumped.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Brock Landers on July 11, 2012, 01:36:15 PM
No way in hell i could take on an alligator turtle.

I accidentally killed a snapping turtle once.  I was on a riding lawnmower.  The grass was deep.  Probabaly a disqualification on me though.


If the turtle was given a riding lawnmower then it would be considered a legit victory.  In this case, no.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: pissclams on July 11, 2012, 01:41:48 PM
any cat. the weak point is their neckmeat. Just pick them up by that and they are disabled, no matter how feral/crazy they are.

scruff, not neckmeat
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 11, 2012, 01:50:03 PM
No way in hell i could take on an alligator turtle.

I accidentally killed a snapping turtle once.  I was on a riding lawnmower.  The grass was deep.  Probabaly a disqualification on me though.


If the turtle was given a riding lawnmower then it would be considered a legit victory.  In this case, no.

I could beat the turtle if I had a metal rod. I would also gladly give the turtle its own metal rod if that legitimized the victory.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: michigancat on July 11, 2012, 01:56:05 PM
Man v. cat?  Pinky makes me think I don't want any part of that.   :embarrassed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR_LHlFwlhk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR_LHlFwlhk)

man, the early days of youtube were so great.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: bubbles4ksu on July 11, 2012, 02:01:59 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FHwXLQ.jpg&hash=f29c844385e0dfde2490b9a04a204124dd77f51a)

guys. i was wrong. i thought that grey wolves were like 65-70lbs max. they are 100lbs and could kill me.

i could still kill a 65lb dog.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: michigancat on July 11, 2012, 02:04:50 PM
I would love to fight owners of dogs off their leash. I think if I took out an unsuspecting owner their dumbass dogs wouldn't know what to do and I could then easily take care of the dog if it wasn't too big.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 02:10:39 PM
I would love to fight owners of dogs off their leash. I think if I took out an unsuspecting owner their dumbass dogs wouldn't know what to do and I could then easily take care of the dog if it wasn't too big.
What if the unsuspecting dog was a pitbull? HOW would you take it out?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: _33 on July 11, 2012, 02:11:33 PM
I think I could take any monkey except maybe a gorilla. Since they stand like a human you could kick them in the balls super easy.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 02:14:49 PM
I think I could take any monkey except maybe a gorilla. Since they stand like a human you could kick them in the balls super easy.
Is Sasquatch a monkey? If so, you ain't taking him out.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 11, 2012, 02:25:15 PM
I could probably take down a horse with my bare hands, definitely if you gave us both a weapon/lawn mower. As long as that rough rider can't gallop away I'm walking away on top.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: CNS on July 11, 2012, 02:28:14 PM
BTK spelling out his next attack.

Watch out prison horses.

Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: michigancat on July 11, 2012, 03:02:33 PM
I would love to fight owners of dogs off their leash. I think if I took out an unsuspecting owner their dumbass dogs wouldn't know what to do and I could then easily take care of the dog if it wasn't too big.
What if the unsuspecting dog was a pitbull? HOW would you take it out?

I would not fight that duo. There is actually a guy who hangs out by my work who walks his pitbull off a leash during lunchtime (and everyone just says "oh, what's your dog's name???).  rough ridin' San Francisco.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: _33 on July 11, 2012, 03:03:36 PM
I could probably take down a horse with my bare hands, definitely if you gave us both a weapon/lawn mower. As long as that rough rider can't gallop away I'm walking away on top.

Horses are terrifying. It would bite both your ears off.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 03:07:23 PM
I would love to fight owners of dogs off their leash. I think if I took out an unsuspecting owner their dumbass dogs wouldn't know what to do and I could then easily take care of the dog if it wasn't too big.
What if the unsuspecting dog was a pitbull? HOW would you take it out?

I would not fight that duo. There is actually a guy who hangs out by my work who walks his pitbull off a leash during lunchtime (and everyone just says "oh, what's your dog's name???).  rough ridin' San Francisco.
I need to rephrase the question. If you thought you could take out the pitbull, how would you do it?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: michigancat on July 11, 2012, 03:09:00 PM
I would love to fight owners of dogs off their leash. I think if I took out an unsuspecting owner their dumbass dogs wouldn't know what to do and I could then easily take care of the dog if it wasn't too big.
What if the unsuspecting dog was a pitbull? HOW would you take it out?

I would not fight that duo. There is actually a guy who hangs out by my work who walks his pitbull off a leash during lunchtime (and everyone just says "oh, what's your dog's name???).  rough ridin' San Francisco.
I need to rephrase the question. If you thought you could take out the pitbull, how would you do it?

I would go on top of my roof at work and try to drop something heavy, like a piano, on its skull.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 0.42 on July 11, 2012, 03:10:20 PM
i would destroy the crap out of a nutria
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 11, 2012, 03:13:37 PM
I would love to fight owners of dogs off their leash. I think if I took out an unsuspecting owner their dumbass dogs wouldn't know what to do and I could then easily take care of the dog if it wasn't too big.
What if the unsuspecting dog was a pitbull? HOW would you take it out?

I would not fight that duo. There is actually a guy who hangs out by my work who walks his pitbull off a leash during lunchtime (and everyone just says "oh, what's your dog's name???).  rough ridin' San Francisco.
I need to rephrase the question. If you thought you could take out the pitbull, how would you do it?

pitbull reaches out his hand and the I grabs it and rips it off swallowing it with one bite.  pitbull screams and starts to run but slips on his own blood and falls to the ground.  I, being hungry for more pitbull flesh, grabs pitbull by the throat and tears it out finally stiffling his girl like screams.  TKO in 13 seconds.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sonofdaxjones on July 11, 2012, 03:14:25 PM
Moles, just give me a spike or something and I can take them.

Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 03:15:51 PM
I would love to fight owners of dogs off their leash. I think if I took out an unsuspecting owner their dumbass dogs wouldn't know what to do and I could then easily take care of the dog if it wasn't too big.
What if the unsuspecting dog was a pitbull? HOW would you take it out?

I would not fight that duo. There is actually a guy who hangs out by my work who walks his pitbull off a leash during lunchtime (and everyone just says "oh, what's your dog's name???).  rough ridin' San Francisco.
I need to rephrase the question. If you thought you could take out the pitbull, how would you do it?

pitbull reaches out his hand and the I grabs it and rips it off swallowing it with one bite.  pitbull screams and starts to run but slips on his own blood and falls to the ground.  I, being hungry for more pitbull flesh, grabs pitbull by the throat and tears it out finally stiffling his girl like screams.  TKO in 13 seconds.

 :lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 03:16:47 PM
a lot of tough wannabes in this thread who have never faced actual combat in the ring.  sad. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Lefty on July 11, 2012, 03:21:58 PM
what if you had incentive behind your motives? not just trying to win a fight. what if the animal spit on your girlfriend in line at a concert or at a ballgame while wearing a Nebraska tshirt?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 03:23:27 PM
what if you had incentive behind your motives? not just trying to win a fight. what if the animal spit on your girlfriend in line at a concert or at a ballgame while wearing a Nebraska tshirt?

it's a fight to the death.  if you need additional incentive this isn't the sport for you. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Lefty on July 11, 2012, 03:27:25 PM
what if you had incentive behind your motives? not just trying to win a fight. what if the animal spit on your girlfriend in line at a concert or at a ballgame while wearing a Nebraska tshirt?

it's a fight to the death.  if you need additional incentive this isn't the sport for you.

I was imagining a pay per view event and possibly being referreed.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on July 11, 2012, 03:33:10 PM
naked mole rats share a hive mind and are immune to cancer and look like penises so I think they would be pretty tough to fight.

Homophobia on your part?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 03:33:41 PM
I would love to fight owners of dogs off their leash. I think if I took out an unsuspecting owner their dumbass dogs wouldn't know what to do and I could then easily take care of the dog if it wasn't too big.
What if the unsuspecting dog was a pitbull? HOW would you take it out?

I would not fight that duo. There is actually a guy who hangs out by my work who walks his pitbull off a leash during lunchtime (and everyone just says "oh, what's your dog's name???).  rough ridin' San Francisco.
I need to rephrase the question. If you thought you could take out the pitbull, how would you do it?

I would go on top of my roof at work and try to drop something heavy, like a piano, on its skull.

Michigancat the Wile E Coyote of goEMAW.com
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 11, 2012, 04:17:39 PM
None of you idiots could kill more than one crow. After you kill one, the rest find out, communicate to each other what you look like (seriously, look it up) and then attack you for the rest of your life. If you lose and eyeball or two from them pecking it out, you think you're going to stand a chance? Good grief.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 11, 2012, 04:19:19 PM
i could kill one goose.  one.  maybe two, but they have to come at me one at a time.  2 v 1 is no fair when you're fighting a goose.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 04:19:35 PM
None of you idiots could kill more than one crow. After you kill one, the rest find out, communicate to each other what you look like (seriously, look it up) and then attack you for the rest of your life. If you lose and eyeball or two from them pecking it out, you think you're going to stand a chance? Good grief.

This is a closed arena of combat. No one else knows.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 11, 2012, 04:21:22 PM
i bet i could wrestle 1 female deer to the ground and kill it.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 11, 2012, 04:26:14 PM
I think I could kill a couple mice. But then again, maybe not. They're pretty cute, and I'd have to squeeze them to death, and I bet when I start squeezing them out of fear for my live, it turns into a big hug that I'm giving them with my hands because I realize mid-strangle just how cute they are.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 11, 2012, 04:26:48 PM
i bet i could wrestle 1 female deer to the ground and kill it.

this seems possible unless the female deer is fighting for its baby. don't mess with doe's baby.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 11, 2012, 04:27:51 PM
I think I could kill a couple mice. But then again, maybe not. They're pretty cute, and I'd have to squeeze them to death, and I bet when I start squeezing them out of fear for my live, it turns into a big hug that I'm giving them with my hands because I realize mid-strangle just how cute they are.

I read a book that was mainly about this guy killing a mouse. They later made it into a movie, that guy from CSI: NY was in it.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 11, 2012, 04:28:26 PM
12 or 13 squirrels at once.  no big deal.  i'd just go with the spike 'n stomp.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 04:30:15 PM
i could kill one goose.  one.  maybe two, but they have to come at me one at a time.  2 v 1 is no fair when you're fighting a goose.
The V formation should allow you to kill two. If you were to fight three, then you'd be screwed after you killed the first one.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sonofdaxjones on July 11, 2012, 04:34:25 PM
If I had a good pair of gloves I am sure I could take a duck or a rabbit.

I am going to go pheasant too, because one time out bird hunting a coyote (probably couldn't take a coyote) ran ahead and flushed a rooster who flew right straight back at me.  I knocked it down with a shot, but anybody who knows anything about anything knows that  straight on a Roster Ringneck's feathers can turn a lot of shot . . .dude ran around in some thick brush but I caught him and killed him with my barehands . . . I'll call it:  I can take a stunned Ringneck Pheasant.

 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 11, 2012, 05:02:45 PM
None of you idiots could kill more than one crow. After you kill one, the rest find out, communicate to each other what you look like (seriously, look it up) and then attack you for the rest of your life. If you lose and eyeball or two from them pecking it out, you think you're going to stand a chance? Good grief.

Wear a mask. Problem solved.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on July 11, 2012, 05:10:20 PM
I think I could kill a couple mice. But then again, maybe not. They're pretty cute, and I'd have to squeeze them to death, and I bet when I start squeezing them out of fear for my live, it turns into a big hug that I'm giving them with my hands because I realize mid-strangle just how cute they are.

Don't do it Jakesies.  I dropped a hamster when I was five and it died.  You do not want that on your conscience.  He was a Christmas present and we could only get them out for a little bit.  I still had to get ready to go to my grandparents after.  It was terrible.   :frown:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Brock Landers on July 11, 2012, 05:31:33 PM
I think I could kill a couple mice. But then again, maybe not. They're pretty cute, and I'd have to squeeze them to death, and I bet when I start squeezing them out of fear for my live, it turns into a big hug that I'm giving them with my hands because I realize mid-strangle just how cute they are.


Never let your guard down in a fight with an animal....even cute animals can be deadly.  As soon as you let up on your death grip that mouse will be gnawing clean through your jugular.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Frankenklein on July 11, 2012, 07:50:29 PM
    I`m going noodling for Flathead Catfish this weekend. Will report back If I get into a fight with any of them
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: hemmy on July 11, 2012, 08:04:36 PM
When I was little I had a german shepherd and that thing semi-kicked my ass once by dragging me by its own leash (I really didn't want it to run away)...so no animals. INSECTS HOWEVER!!???!! Different Story.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 11, 2012, 09:51:25 PM
I would love to fight owners of dogs off their leash.

let's go, nazi bitch.  there's no one i want to beat the crap out of more than people that tell me what to do with my dog.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 11, 2012, 09:53:37 PM
i wonder how many of you have actually fought small to medium sized mammals?  it's not all that hard.  kicking is a huge advantage.  so is choking.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Trim on July 11, 2012, 10:05:03 PM
so is choking.

Well now.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:21:27 PM
animals i could not beat up:
elephant
rhinoceros
lion
tiger
leopard
orangutan
gorilla
water buffalo
hippopotamus (did you know that hippos are born underwater?)
nile crocodile
large alpha male baboons (debatable)
anaconda (also debatable)
polar bear
kodiak bear
giraffe (too tall)
walrus
elephant seal (somewhat debatable)
grizzly bear
jaguars


i could kick the shitpiss out of any other species of animal
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 11, 2012, 10:22:53 PM
I could easily take two giraffes.  Those things are pussies.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:24:10 PM
I could easily take two giraffes.  Those things are pussies.

yeah you couldn't
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 11, 2012, 10:24:27 PM
so is choking.

Well now.

 :lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 11, 2012, 10:31:35 PM
I could easily take two giraffes.  Those things are pussies.

yeah you couldn't
protip:  all they do is whip their head and soft horns around to attack, so all you have to do is just get behind them then go for the legs.  Get it to the ground and start stomping its stupid long neck.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:37:23 PM
I could easily take two giraffes.  Those things are pussies.

yeah you couldn't
protip:  all they do is whip their head and soft horns around to attack, so all you have to do is just get behind them then go for the legs.  Get it to the ground and start stomping its stupid long neck.

no chance you're taking one of these behemoths to the ground

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frebekahjamiebritney.edublogs.org%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F05%2FReticulated-Giraffes2.jpg&hash=9acfad34d163eabffcf6b1e2f56ceeb084daad7c)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 11, 2012, 10:39:34 PM
animals i could not beat up:
elephant
rhinoceros
lion
tiger
leopard
orangutan
gorilla
water buffalo
hippopotamus (did you know that hippos are born underwater?)
nile crocodile
large alpha male baboons (debatable)
anaconda (also debatable)
polar bear
kodiak bear
giraffe (too tall)
walrus
elephant seal (somewhat debatable)
grizzly bear
jaguars


i could kick the shitpiss out of any other species of animal
Horse, cow, camel. Three species that would laugh at you trying to kick their asses.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:43:39 PM
animals i could not beat up:
elephant
rhinoceros
lion
tiger
leopard
orangutan
gorilla
water buffalo
hippopotamus (did you know that hippos are born underwater?)
nile crocodile
large alpha male baboons (debatable)
anaconda (also debatable)
polar bear
kodiak bear
giraffe (too tall)
walrus
elephant seal (somewhat debatable)
grizzly bear
jaguars


i could kick the shitpiss out of any other species of animal
Horse, cow, camel. Three species that would laugh at you trying to kick their asses.

Cow?  gmafb
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: bubbles4ksu on July 11, 2012, 10:49:27 PM
animals i could not beat up:
elephant
rhinoceros
lion
tiger
leopard
orangutan
gorilla
water buffalo
hippopotamus (did you know that hippos are born underwater?)
nile crocodile
large alpha male baboons (debatable)
anaconda (also debatable)
polar bear
kodiak bear
giraffe (too tall)
walrus
elephant seal (somewhat debatable)
grizzly bear
jaguars


i could kick the shitpiss out of any other species of animal
Horse, cow, camel. Three species that would laugh at you trying to kick their asses.

Cow?  gmafb

depends on whether or not it has testicles.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 11, 2012, 11:04:31 PM
Cow?  gmafb

depends on whether or not it has testicles.

no it doesn't.  if you think you can't beat an animal that weighs 1/5th what you weigh to death, you're a pussy.  if you think you can beat an animal that weighs 5x what you weigh to death, you're a Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: bubbles4ksu on July 11, 2012, 11:25:26 PM
Cow?  gmafb

depends on whether or not it has testicles.

no it doesn't.  if you think you can't beat an animal that weighs 1/5th what you weigh to death, you're a pussy.  if you think you can beat an animal that weighs 5x what you weigh to death, you're a Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).

you couldn't kick/choke to death a dairy cow? there is no consistency to your posting, sys.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 11, 2012, 11:33:56 PM
no, i couldn't.  cattle are large, potentially dangerous, animals.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 11:40:48 PM
Cow?  gmafb

depends on whether or not it has testicles.

no it doesn't.  if you think you can't beat an animal that weighs 1/5th what you weigh to death, you're a pussy.  if you think you can beat an animal that weighs 5x what you weigh to death, you're a respect.

sys, i don't think i can, i know i can.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 12, 2012, 12:48:03 AM
I could easily take two giraffes.  Those things are pussies.

yeah you couldn't
protip:  all they do is whip their head and soft horns around to attack, so all you have to do is just get behind them then go for the legs.  Get it to the ground and start stomping its stupid long neck.

no chance you're taking one of these behemoths to the ground

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frebekahjamiebritney.edublogs.org%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F05%2FReticulated-Giraffes2.jpg&hash=9acfad34d163eabffcf6b1e2f56ceeb084daad7c)
I get that it's tall.  What i'm saying is, if i run into the broad side of that guy's hind leg, it will break.  Giraffe's are a joke, dude.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on July 12, 2012, 02:37:18 AM
I could easily take two giraffes.  Those things are pussies.

yeah you couldn't
protip:  all they do is whip their head and soft horns around to attack, so all you have to do is just get behind them then go for the legs.  Get it to the ground and start stomping its stupid long neck.

no chance you're taking one of these behemoths to the ground

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frebekahjamiebritney.edublogs.org%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F05%2FReticulated-Giraffes2.jpg&hash=9acfad34d163eabffcf6b1e2f56ceeb084daad7c)
I get that it's tall.  What i'm saying is, if i run into the broad side of that guy's hind leg, it will break.  Giraffe's are a joke, dude.

If you did that you would fall over, then the giraffe would stomp your face and body into a bloody pulp.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 12, 2012, 08:50:58 AM
Kim, how would you beat up a great white shark?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 08:59:30 AM
there is no way you could take even a medium sized cow.  you couldn't even wound it.  even if it just stood there it could take your punches/kicks and be unphased until you exhausted yourself. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 12, 2012, 12:00:09 PM
I agree with DLew12, but I think 1 giraffe would be plenty.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 12, 2012, 12:02:28 PM
I agree with DLew12, but I think 1 giraffe would be plenty.
yeah, maybe.  but man, giraffes are total pussies. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on July 12, 2012, 12:14:06 PM
there is no way you could take even a medium sized cow.  you couldn't even wound it.  even if it just stood there it could take your punches/kicks and be unphased until you exhausted yourself.

Confirmed. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 12, 2012, 12:21:28 PM
Asked my lady friend this morning, her immediate response: "Rabbit."
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 12, 2012, 12:37:12 PM
there is no way you could take even a medium sized cow.  you couldn't even wound it.  even if it just stood there it could take your punches/kicks and be unphased until you exhausted yourself.

Confirmed.


that's such bullshit. I mean, you might have to be pretty unconventional and start biting off body parts and gouging out eyeballs or something but if you put me and a medium sized dairy cow in a room with the statement that I would get no food or water and couldn't leave the room until the cow was dead you can take it to the rough ridin' bank that there would be one god damned dead cow within a day or two
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 12, 2012, 12:39:54 PM
there is no way you could take even a medium sized cow.  you couldn't even wound it.  even if it just stood there it could take your punches/kicks and be unphased until you exhausted yourself.

Confirmed.


that's such bullshit. I mean, you might have to be pretty unconventional and start biting off body parts and gouging out eyeballs or something but if you put me and a medium sized dairy cow in a room with the statement that I would get no food or water and couldn't leave the room until the cow was dead you can take it to the rough ridin' bank that there would be one god damned dead cow within a day or two

I would jam my arm down it's throat and suffocate it from within.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 12:45:22 PM
you couldn't get its mouth open if it didn't want you to.  also, rick daris couldn't bite through it's flesh.  he would exhaust himself while the dairy cow chews it's cud and waits for daris to die. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on July 12, 2012, 12:52:12 PM
there is no way you could take even a medium sized cow.  you couldn't even wound it.  even if it just stood there it could take your punches/kicks and be unphased until you exhausted yourself.

Confirmed.


that's such bullshit. I mean, you might have to be pretty unconventional and start biting off body parts and gouging out eyeballs or something but if you put me and a medium sized dairy cow in a room with the statement that I would get no food or water and couldn't leave the room until the cow was dead you can take it to the rough ridin' bank that there would be one god damned dead cow within a day or two

I would jam my arm down it's throat and suffocate it from within.

Best offense is a good defense.  That's like saying you could kill a punching bag.  They're the Highlander of the animal kingdom. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 12, 2012, 12:56:48 PM
you couldn't get it's mouth open if it didn't want you to.  also, rick daris couldn't bite through it's flesh.  he would exhaust himself while the dairy cow chews it's cud and waits for daris to die.

you have no idea what i can bite through and what i can't. question for you- in your entire life, have you ever witnessed me attempt to bite through something and fail? times up, you haven't. i'd bite those things off that hang down and then start jamming stuff up there. i'd kill that cow. sorry if some of you can't or don't want to deal with that but that's life and it's not always pretty. sorry it it offends some of your senses or your world view.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 12:58:30 PM
you couldn't get it's mouth open if it didn't want you to.  also, rick daris couldn't bite through it's flesh.  he would exhaust himself while the dairy cow chews it's cud and waits for daris to die.

you have no idea what i can bite through and what i can't. question for you- in your entire life, have you ever witnessed me attempt to bite through something and fail? times up, you haven't. i'd bite those things off that hang down and then start jamming stuff up there. i'd kill that cow. sorry if some of you can't or don't want to deal with that but that's life and it's not always pretty. sorry it it offends some of your senses or your world view.

sorry, you can't.  before you could even bite enough of a hole in it's skin layer to draw blood your teeth would be destroyed. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: bubbles4ksu on July 12, 2012, 01:05:03 PM
the people who are saying that a man couldn't kill a cow are turning this thread into a joke.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 01:06:03 PM
the people who are saying that a man couldn't kill a cow are turning this thread into a joke.

ok guy who claimed he could take a wolf  :lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 12, 2012, 01:09:03 PM
I think Daris could kill a cow in hand to hand combat. Think about it, the cow and Daris are probably both starving to death. Cows eat grass, Daris isn't grass. Daris eats cows (Daris, you're not a weirdy, right?), and that cow is a cow. The cow won't be aggressive towards our man Daris, Daris wins 9 out 10 times.

Also, cow's teeth aren't meant for cutting anything, just grinding up grass. It might be painful, but you could definitely put your fist down that cow's throat and strangle it.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 12, 2012, 01:09:50 PM
ok guy who claimed he could take a wolf  :lol:

 :lol: Yeah, like, how much can a cow honestly weigh, Ging? Like 80 lbs MAX  :lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 12, 2012, 01:11:39 PM
You guys are either seriously underestimating what a human could do when faced with the prospect of death by animal or you are total pussies.  I think most people on here could take a wolf when it came down to it.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-2935-killed-with-bare-hands/
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: bubbles4ksu on July 12, 2012, 01:15:13 PM
You guys are either seriously underestimating what a human could do when faced with the prospect of death by animal or you are total pussies.  I think most people on here could take a wolf when it came down to it.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-2935-killed-with-bare-hands/

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fitechgear.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F01%2Ffaux-crow-pie.jpg&hash=c136ef71d50aafaece310d0c619590ee8e0eb4b4)

in sd's and BTK's fat and creepy faces, respectively.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 12, 2012, 01:15:58 PM
You guys are either seriously underestimating what a human could do when faced with the prospect of death by animal or you are total pussies.  I think most people on here could take a wolf when it came down to it.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-2935-killed-with-bare-hands/

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fitechgear.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F01%2Ffaux-crow-pie.jpg&hash=c136ef71d50aafaece310d0c619590ee8e0eb4b4)

in sd's and BTK's fat and creepy faces, respectively.

A rough ridin' 77 YEAR OLD MAN FOUGHT OFF A rough ridin' COUGAR!!!
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 01:27:30 PM
did he kill it with his bare hands?  can't see the video at the office.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 12, 2012, 01:31:22 PM
the people who are saying that a man couldn't kill a cow are turning this thread into a joke.

oh yeah you better believe that they are turning it into one big joke.


who's on first?
who's not playing first he's our second basemen, what's on first.
that's what i'm asking you. what's on first?
that's right.
that isn't in right he's at third.
well all i know is that stevedave is at home and he's making out with a dairy cow because he loves them so much and has always talked about wanting to marry one and he gets crazy mad delusional when people talk about killing one of them.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 12, 2012, 01:32:39 PM
did he kill it with his bare hands?  can't see the video at the office.

Cliffs:
1st guy kills deer with bare hands
2nd guy kills cougar with bare hands
3rd guy kills lion with his shepherd staff
4th guy kills a rough ridin' GRIZZLY BEAR BY USING HIS TEETH TO PINCH THE BEAR'S JUGULAR TIL IT PASSED OUT AND THEN BEAT IT TO DEATH WITH A STICK
5th guy grabbed a rough ridin' 660 LB SHARK OUT OF THE WATER AND KILLED IT WITH HIS BARE rough ridin' HANDS
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 01:34:26 PM
did he kill it with his bare hands?  can't see the video at the office.

Cliffs:
1st guy kills deer with bare hands
2nd guy kills cougar with bare hands
3rd guy kills lion with his shepherd staff
4th guy kills a rough ridin' GRIZZLY BEAR WITH HIS BARE HANDS
5th guy grabbed a rough ridin' 660 LB SHARK OUT OF THE WATER AND KILLED IT WITH HIS BARE rough ridin' HANDS

well, I must remember to watch this video when I get home
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 12, 2012, 01:36:03 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi157.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ft64%2FCoyoteesharptongue%2FCDalePeterson.jpg&hash=76f12ede5486b95cfcb52868e6254c91b63a11cd)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 12, 2012, 01:36:39 PM
did he kill it with his bare hands?  can't see the video at the office.

Cliffs:
1st guy kills deer with bare hands
2nd guy kills cougar with bare hands
3rd guy kills lion with his shepherd staff
4th guy kills a rough ridin' GRIZZLY BEAR WITH HIS BARE HANDS
5th guy grabbed a rough ridin' 660 LB SHARK OUT OF THE WATER AND KILLED IT WITH HIS BARE rough ridin' HANDS

well, I must remember to watch this video when I get home

It's not a video.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 12, 2012, 01:39:23 PM
This thread has me so fired up, I might just head out to the Konza later this afternoon and brutally kill the first medium-sized animal I see with my bare hands and whatever sticks and rocks are laying around.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 12, 2012, 01:41:25 PM
This thread has me so fired up, I might just head out to the Konza later this afternoon and brutally kill the first medium-sized animal I see with my bare hands and whatever sticks and rocks are laying around.

well you'd be the second person out there doing that today. also, please take a picture of the dead coyote that i just strangled and ate the ears off of. i forgot my camera.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 12, 2012, 01:42:14 PM
cows would be so easy to kill.  cows have no offense or defense.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 12, 2012, 01:42:46 PM
This thread has me so fired up, I might just head out to the Konza later this afternoon and brutally kill the first medium-sized animal I see with my bare hands and whatever sticks and rocks are laying around.

well you'd be the second person out there doing that today. also, please take a picture of the dead coyote that i just strangled and ate the ears off of. i forgot my camera.

Did it bite you? If so, you might want 8manpick to go ahead and chop its head off to send it in for a rabies test.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 12, 2012, 01:44:12 PM
cows would be so easy to kill.  cows have no offense or defense.

I bet they would be pretty damn vicious if you pissed them off before the fight started.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 12, 2012, 01:48:14 PM
This thread has me so fired up, I might just head out to the Konza later this afternoon and brutally kill the first medium-sized animal I see with my bare hands and whatever sticks and rocks are laying around.

well you'd be the second person out there doing that today. also, please take a picture of the dead coyote that i just strangled and ate the ears off of. i forgot my camera.

Did it bite you? If so, you might want 8manpick to go ahead and chop its head off to send it in for a rabies test.
 

look dude, this isn't the first time that i've done something like this. i'm pretty sure i have everything covered and then some.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 01:49:33 PM
true story:  once saw a fox in rick daris' neighborhood on my way to pick him up.  looked very healthy and unafraid. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 12, 2012, 01:50:02 PM
This thread has me so fired up, I might just head out to the Konza later this afternoon and brutally kill the first medium-sized animal I see with my bare hands and whatever sticks and rocks are laying around.

well you'd be the second person out there doing that today. also, please take a picture of the dead coyote that i just strangled and ate the ears off of. i forgot my camera.

Did it bite you? If so, you might want 8manpick to go ahead and chop its head off to send it in for a rabies test.
 

look dude, this isn't the first time that i've done something like this. i'm pretty sure i have everything covered and then some.

Good to know. I'm still curious whether it bit you or you earned a flawless victory.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 12, 2012, 01:52:17 PM
This thread has me so fired up, I might just head out to the Konza later this afternoon and brutally kill the first medium-sized animal I see with my bare hands and whatever sticks and rocks are laying around.

well you'd be the second person out there doing that today. also, please take a picture of the dead coyote that i just strangled and ate the ears off of. i forgot my camera.

Did it bite you? If so, you might want 8manpick to go ahead and chop its head off to send it in for a rabies test.
 

look dude, this isn't the first time that i've done something like this. i'm pretty sure i have everything covered and then some.

Good to know. I'm still curious whether it bit you or you earned a flawless victory.

well of course it bit me. it's a god damned coyote, that's what they do. do you think i went out and fought some kind of handicapped coyote that was crippled or something and not able to fight back. is that what you are trying to insinuate? are you saying that i don't fight fair is that what this is about?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: yoga-like_abana on July 12, 2012, 01:54:20 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.a.cnn.net%2Fsi%2F2006%2Fwriters%2Fcory_mccartney%2F09%2F28%2Flaurinaitis.buckeyes%2FAnimal.jpg&hash=70c6ddb35fa3eae8f950cbd3c5ff8cff4c54b57f)
hes gotta be really old by now right!?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 12, 2012, 02:06:59 PM
This thread has me so fired up, I might just head out to the Konza later this afternoon and brutally kill the first medium-sized animal I see with my bare hands and whatever sticks and rocks are laying around.

well you'd be the second person out there doing that today. also, please take a picture of the dead coyote that i just strangled and ate the ears off of. i forgot my camera.

Did it bite you? If so, you might want 8manpick to go ahead and chop its head off to send it in for a rabies test.
 

look dude, this isn't the first time that i've done something like this. i'm pretty sure i have everything covered and then some.

Good to know. I'm still curious whether it bit you or you earned a flawless victory.

well of course it bit me. it's a god damned coyote, that's what they do. do you think i went out and faught some kind of handicapped coyote that was crippled or something and not able to fight back. is that what you are trying to insinuate? are you saying that i don't fight fair is that what this is about?

I was just fishing for details. Congrats on the victory. :emawkid:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: EMAWmeister on July 12, 2012, 06:11:02 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcf.badassdigest.com%2F_uploads%2Fimages%2F23545%2Fvilain__span.jpg&hash=a1699821e1f061ca75a3959d5067d7bdcf7b0ceb)

Daris, right after killing a coyote with his bare hands and proceeding to pound a sixer of Bud Light Limes right there at it's rough ridin' corpse.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 12, 2012, 06:39:18 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.a.cnn.net%2Fsi%2F2006%2Fwriters%2Fcory_mccartney%2F09%2F28%2Flaurinaitis.buckeyes%2FAnimal.jpg&hash=70c6ddb35fa3eae8f950cbd3c5ff8cff4c54b57f)
hes gotta be really old by now right!?
well hawk's dead.

Animal is 52.  I'd still put money on Animal v. Y-L_A
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: CHONGS on July 12, 2012, 06:45:48 PM
i could kill one goose.  one.  maybe two, but they have to come at me one at a time.  2 v 1 is no fair when you're fighting a goose.

oh man are you in for a treat in the fall

there's a gaggle of geese who roam around attacking people.  chase people across the street, knock people off of bicycles....
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Trim on July 12, 2012, 06:53:58 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.a.cnn.net%2Fsi%2F2006%2Fwriters%2Fcory_mccartney%2F09%2F28%2Flaurinaitis.buckeyes%2FAnimal.jpg&hash=70c6ddb35fa3eae8f950cbd3c5ff8cff4c54b57f)
hes gotta be really old by now right!?
well hawk's dead.

Animal is 52.  I'd still put money on Animal v. Y-L_A

No way, I'll be y-l_a's cornerman (manager?).  Let's set this up for MOAP3.0 since you know EMAWgeddon ain't bringing the mini-horse.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: yoga-like_abana on July 12, 2012, 07:06:45 PM
Trim-Y-L_A vs DLEW-Animal.. CAGE MATCH! COMING TO A FATTYFEST NEAR YOU BROTHA!
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: yoga-like_abana on July 12, 2012, 07:08:18 PM
52 is a scary age, I think that is ultimate old man strength time..  :ohno:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 12, 2012, 07:29:16 PM
cows kill wolves and bears all the time.  i swear, some of you nazi morons are completely Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 12, 2012, 09:26:50 PM
cows kill wolves and bears all the time.  i swear, some of you nazi morons are completely Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).

you could not be any more clueless
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 12, 2012, 10:11:30 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00028-e1289063219218.jpg&hash=919b9139e86227dd8bdf9bfbd7135324af857aa3)
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00031-e1289063250204.jpg&hash=73a5b8874e658b1f37e5f9879eb767e503fe2901)
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00040-e1289063549425.jpg&hash=43e29e092a9eb6cb2506d6d97cf409e175f4365b)
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00049-e1289063840525.jpg&hash=6df5508180b0bc07b927b6674de50cb1226ec26f)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 12, 2012, 10:15:03 PM
cows kill wolves and bears all the time.  i swear, some of you nazi morons are completely Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).

let me ask you this...am i a bear? am i a wolf? ding dong times up, i'm not. why the eff do i care about what a god damn cow does in his spare time? ding dong again, i don't. a god damn cow could kill two wolves while standing on one foot and doing the new york times crossword puzzle and i'm still going to kill the crap out of it if locked in a room with the only way of surviving being that i kill that idiot.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 12, 2012, 10:21:00 PM
let me ask you this...am i a bear? am i a wolf? ding dong times up, i'm not.

are you a horse?

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.actionagainstpoisoning.com%2Fnewsactionrequest%2Fhorseabusebullf%2Ffiles%2Fpage47_4.jpg&hash=3d0d1ff8cb497d25a20660b6bfd21941bc302093)
Title: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 12, 2012, 10:21:06 PM
Did you just write the screenplay for Saw VII?
Title: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 12, 2012, 10:49:58 PM
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100907174234AAL6bY9 (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100907174234AAL6bY9)

I typed "can you kill" in search and one of the top autofill options was "a cow with your bare hands".
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 12, 2012, 11:10:17 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00028-e1289063219218.jpg&hash=919b9139e86227dd8bdf9bfbd7135324af857aa3)
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00031-e1289063250204.jpg&hash=73a5b8874e658b1f37e5f9879eb767e503fe2901)
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00040-e1289063549425.jpg&hash=43e29e092a9eb6cb2506d6d97cf409e175f4365b)
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00049-e1289063840525.jpg&hash=6df5508180b0bc07b927b6674de50cb1226ec26f)

 :sdeek:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: yoga-like_abana on July 12, 2012, 11:16:07 PM
I think I could take a cow(not cattle) but one single cow.. I think I could do it.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 12, 2012, 11:21:10 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00028-e1289063219218.jpg&hash=919b9139e86227dd8bdf9bfbd7135324af857aa3)
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00031-e1289063250204.jpg&hash=73a5b8874e658b1f37e5f9879eb767e503fe2901)
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00040-e1289063549425.jpg&hash=43e29e092a9eb6cb2506d6d97cf409e175f4365b)
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinnymoose.com%2Fracktracker%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F11%2FATT00049-e1289063840525.jpg&hash=6df5508180b0bc07b927b6674de50cb1226ec26f)

a black bear?  WGAF if a cow killed a black bear?  anyone who isn't a giant loser could beat up a black bear
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 07:41:31 AM
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100907174234AAL6bY9 (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100907174234AAL6bY9)

I typed "can you kill" in search and one of the top autofill options was "a cow with your bare hands".

lol, yeah, that would be rd's best chance too  :lol:

Quote
However, my grandpa could have told a cow a number of long winded stories that went nowhere and bored the animal to death.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 07:42:01 AM
I think I could take a cow(not cattle) but one single cow.. I think I could do it.

nope
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 13, 2012, 07:43:43 AM
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100907174234AAL6bY9 (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100907174234AAL6bY9)

I typed "can you kill" in search and one of the top autofill options was "a cow with your bare hands".

lol, yeah, that would be rd's best chance too  :lol:

Quote
However, my grandpa could have told a cow a number of long winded stories that went nowhere and bored the animal to death.
                 :shy:
Quote
absolutely possible.. flava flave could kill an angus bull .. that is if you can get close enough.. All you have to do is punch it in the temple.. lol.. right below their ear.. it works but dont try it cause really why would you want to?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 07:45:43 AM
you couldn't knock out a cow with anything short of a sledge hammer and rick daris couldn't even with a sledge hammer. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 13, 2012, 07:52:01 AM
that's it. i'm putting an end to this talk over the weekend. will report back.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 08:01:55 AM
that's it. i'm putting an end to this talk over the weekend. will report back.

RIP rd
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 13, 2012, 08:06:45 AM
that's it. i'm putting an end to this talk over the weekend. will report back.

PM me if you need any help video taping, it shouldn't take anymore than 30 min max and we can put this issue to bed.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 08:11:57 AM
that's it. i'm putting an end to this talk over the weekend. will report back.

PM me if you need any help video taping, it shouldn't take anymore than 30 min max and we can put this issue to bed.

it could take more than 30 minutes for the cow to realizes what rd is doing
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 13, 2012, 08:42:34 AM
Awful lotta Rick Daris haters in this thread...

Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 13, 2012, 08:45:10 AM
Awful lotta Rick Daris haters in this thread...

What the...

YOU CHANGED MY NAME AGAIN?!?! eff it.

Daris is a wimp, I'm rooting for the cow.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 13, 2012, 08:46:33 AM
Awful lotta Rick Daris haters in this thread...

What the...

YOU CHANGED MY NAME AGAIN?!?! eff it.

Daris is a wimp, I'm rooting for the cow.

You should write a letter to the police explaining how you would kill the cow and how it would make you feel.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 13, 2012, 09:25:34 AM
Awful lotta Rick Daris haters in this thread...

What the...

YOU CHANGED MY NAME AGAIN?!?! eff it.

Daris is a wimp, I'm rooting for the cow.

was not me.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 09:26:06 AM
Awful lotta Rick Daris haters in this thread...

What the...

YOU CHANGED MY NAME AGAIN?!?! eff it.

Daris is a wimp, I'm rooting for the cow.

was not me.

it was him
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: yoga-like_abana on July 13, 2012, 09:26:47 AM
can daris take a serial killer????
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 13, 2012, 09:26:59 AM
Awful lotta Rick Daris haters in this thread...

What the...

YOU CHANGED MY NAME AGAIN?!?! eff it.

Daris is a wimp, I'm rooting for the cow.

was not me.

Well you're definitely not part of the solution
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 13, 2012, 09:29:32 AM
can daris take a serial killer????

Hell no.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 13, 2012, 09:32:16 AM
Awful lotta Rick Daris haters in this thread...

What the...

YOU CHANGED MY NAME AGAIN?!?! eff it.

Daris is a wimp, I'm rooting for the cow.

was not me.

it was him

well that's a lie. if i didn't trust your cow opinions before, i certainly don't now.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 09:50:25 AM
Awful lotta Rick Daris haters in this thread...

What the...

YOU CHANGED MY NAME AGAIN?!?! eff it.

Daris is a wimp, I'm rooting for the cow.

was not me.

it was him

well that's a lie. if i didn't trust your cow opinions before, i certainly don't now.

hmmmmm...maybe saul?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 13, 2012, 09:53:37 AM
You can look in the admin log to see who did it.

hint - wasn't me
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: bubbles4ksu on July 13, 2012, 10:04:10 AM
You can look in the admin log to see who did it.

hint - wasn't me

make sure it isn't changed back, please. people need to be aware of this creep.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 10:05:12 AM
You can look in the admin log to see who did it.

hint - wasn't me

wow, a whole new world of modding has just opened up before me  :horrorsurprise:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 13, 2012, 10:07:07 AM
Quote
BTKat
   :lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 13, 2012, 10:12:54 AM
i'm rooting for daris (non-nazi), but i'm betting on the cow.

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.telegraph.co.uk%2Fmultimedia%2Farchive%2F01411%2Fmatador-gored_1411703i.jpg&hash=fbcef44262aa1ae0518557c1369d6b31f3ef925b)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: EMAWmeister on July 13, 2012, 10:15:48 AM
Suck one, Boston.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 13, 2012, 10:16:21 AM
can daris take a serial killer????

Hell no.
:lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 13, 2012, 10:18:40 AM
You can look in the admin log to see who did it.

hint - wasn't me

wow, a whole new world of modding has just opened up before me  :horrorsurprise:

well this sucks. i can look at the moderation log and i can log onto the admin center but i don't have admin rights so i can't look at the admin log. what a joke. i'm going to kill two cows now just because of how mad this makes me. suck it steve dave.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: EMAWmeister on July 13, 2012, 10:19:19 AM
Mods, please change BTKat's name to Craigslist Killer Kat due to his uncanny resemblance.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 10:20:01 AM
You can look in the admin log to see who did it.

hint - wasn't me

wow, a whole new world of modding has just opened up before me  :horrorsurprise:

well this sucks. i can look at the moderation log and i can log onto the admin center but i don't have admin rights so i can't look at the admin log. what a joke. i'm going to kill two cows now just because of how mad this makes me. suck it steve dave.

rick, I want you to win.  I'm not a friend of any cow.  I don't want to lose you to this senseless campaign of proving yourself.  just back down now.  live to fight another smaller animal another day. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: bubbles4ksu on July 13, 2012, 10:21:25 AM
Mods, please change BTKat's name to Craigslist Killer Kat due to his uncanny resemblance.

feel free to throw a "creepy" or "polish" into the name.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: yoga-like_abana on July 13, 2012, 11:23:43 AM
You can look in the admin log to see who did it.

hint - wasn't me

wow, a whole new world of modding has just opened up before me  :horrorsurprise:

well this sucks. i can look at the moderation log and i can log onto the admin center but i don't have admin rights so i can't look at the admin log. what a joke. i'm going to kill two cows now just because of how mad this makes me. suck it steve dave.

rick, I want you to win.  I'm not a friend of any cow.  I don't want to lose you to this senseless campaign of proving yourself.  just back down now.  live to fight another smaller animal another day.
thats the best thing about fighting a dumbass cow. they are genuine grade A dumbasses, do you really see a cow fighting back lmao  :lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 13, 2012, 11:27:28 AM
once saw a cow pick its nose with its tongue. wonder if this could be weaponized somehow by the cows?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 11:37:14 AM
once saw a cow pick its nose with its tongue. wonder if this could be weaponized somehow by the cows?

their tongues are stronger than your legs.  it could be if it wanted it to be. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 13, 2012, 01:25:55 PM
Does anybody in here think they could take a large pig? That's a fight I'd like to see.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 01:27:05 PM
Does anybody in here think they could take a large pig? That's a fight I'd like to see.

a boar would destroy your soul.  it would be a bloodbath man. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 13, 2012, 01:31:21 PM
Does anybody in here think they could take a large pig? That's a fight I'd like to see.

a boar would destroy your soul.  it would be a bloodbath man.

Oh, I know. What about just a regular pig with no tusks, though?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on July 13, 2012, 01:32:19 PM
Does anybody in here think they could take a large pig? That's a fight I'd like to see.

a boar would destroy your soul.  it would be a bloodbath man.

Oh, I know. What about just a regular pig with no tusks, though?

If its over 100lbs wilbur will destroy you
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 13, 2012, 01:32:50 PM
pigs are pretty mumped up. I would rather fight a cow for sure.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 01:33:03 PM
Does anybody in here think they could take a large pig? That's a fight I'd like to see.

a boar would destroy your soul.  it would be a bloodbath man.

Oh, I know. What about just a regular pig with no tusks, though?

If its over 100lbs wilbur will destroy you

agreed.  then eat you with its morning slop. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 13, 2012, 01:34:30 PM
That's good to know. I've always had a fear of pigs, and it's good to know that those fears are well founded.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 01:35:39 PM
you could probably take a medium sized female javelina
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 13, 2012, 01:43:25 PM
steve dave, self-proclaimed ass kicker of legions of enemy fans, turns into a frightened school girl when it comes to animals.  I've seen it all.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 13, 2012, 01:44:57 PM
steve dave, self-proclaimed ass kicker of legions of enemy fans, turns into a frightened school girl when it comes to animals.  I've seen it all.

so, you fighting pigs now conan?  :lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 13, 2012, 01:45:48 PM
knock knock
who's there
rick daris
oh hey rick, what happened to the cow that used to live with you
i killed it with my bare hands
oh, ok. come one in it's good to see you again. it's been a while.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 13, 2012, 01:51:32 PM
  :sdeek: Aw c'mon
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: yoga-like_abana on July 13, 2012, 01:52:51 PM
rick killed his wife  :sdeek: and let a friend call her a cow  :sdeek:  what an bad person   :nono:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 13, 2012, 01:53:32 PM
BeanTownKraig?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 13, 2012, 01:54:50 PM
  :sdeek: Aw c'mon

mods, please change Craigslist Killer Kat to Kraigslist Killer Kat so that it can be shortened to KKK if someones wants to when referring to him or responding or anything down the road.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 13, 2012, 01:55:41 PM
 :lol:

i love how people are just bullying around btk. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 13, 2012, 02:01:35 PM
Yeah, I'm like, super thrilled about it.

 :excited: <---- BTC aka BTK, CKK("C"or"P"), KKK
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 13, 2012, 02:03:43 PM
:lol:

i love how people are just bullying around btk.

He was such a promising young poster, just getting in to his groove.  Probably better just start over with a new screenname KKK.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 13, 2012, 02:05:20 PM
:lol:

i love how people are just bullying around btk.

He was such a promising young poster, just getting in to his groove.  Probably better just start over with a new screenname KKK.

 :embarrassed: Yeah, wouldn't want to get confused with Kat Kid's Kid (KKK).

Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 13, 2012, 02:05:58 PM
:lol:

i love how people are just bullying around btk.

He was such a promising young poster, just getting in to his groove.  Probably better just start over with a new screenname KKK.
yeah, he's getting pretty good actually.

take your lumps, KKK! 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: yoga-like_abana on July 13, 2012, 02:06:08 PM
pfffftt.. daris I would watch your back at the next trivia night
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 13, 2012, 02:13:52 PM
pfffftt.. daris I would watch your back at the next trivia night

Yeah, there could be a lynching if he's not careful.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Scary Smart on July 15, 2012, 12:29:57 PM
that's it. i'm putting an end to this talk over the weekend. will report back.

So wait, did you actually kill a cow this weekend? :tappingfootguy:
Title: Re: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 15, 2012, 12:33:37 PM
pfffftt.. daris I would watch your back at the next trivia night

Yeah, there could be a lynching if he's not careful.

That's an interesting choice of words

Sent from my GT-S5830M using Tapatalk 2
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Trim on July 15, 2012, 12:39:56 PM
that's it. i'm putting an end to this talk over the weekend. will report back.

So wait, did you actually kill a cow this weekend? :tappingfootguy:

Well, the cow hasn't posted yet...
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 15, 2012, 12:54:39 PM
pfffftt.. daris I would watch your back at the next trivia night

Yeah, there could be a lynching if he's not careful.

That's an interesting choice of words


If it was intentional, it was an amazing post.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 15, 2012, 01:01:25 PM
well, well, well...it's Sunday afternoon and looks who's still in good enough health to post? not the cow, I promise you that. somebody go ahead and delete his account for him, assuming he had one anyway. he won't be needing it. ever.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 15, 2012, 01:06:15 PM
well, well, well...it's Sunday afternoon and looks who's still in good enough health to post? not the cow, I promise you that. somebody go ahead and delete his account for him, assuming he had one anyway. he won't be needing it. ever.

post vid asap
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 15, 2012, 01:08:56 PM
well, well, well...it's Sunday afternoon and looks who's still in good enough health to post? not the cow, I promise you that. somebody go ahead and delete his account for him, assuming he had one anyway. he won't be needing it. ever.

I assume you're selling the meat? I'd love some ribeye. I'll buy it from you as soon as you get it butchered, which I assume will be early this week.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 15, 2012, 01:14:29 PM
well, well, well...it's Sunday afternoon and looks who's still in good enough health to post? not the cow, I promise you that. somebody go ahead and delete his account for him, assuming he had one anyway. he won't be needing it. ever.

I assume you're selling the meat? I'd love some ribeye. I'll buy it from you as soon as you get it butchered, which I assume will be early this week.

the meat ought to be pretty tender after the beatdown that daris issued :lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 15, 2012, 01:56:15 PM
i take back the giraffe thing.  they're bigger than i gave them credit for.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on July 15, 2012, 01:57:23 PM
pfffftt.. daris I would watch your back at the next trivia night

Yeah, there could be a lynching if he's not careful.

That's an interesting choice of words


If it was intentional, it was an amazing post.

 :gocho:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 15, 2012, 02:32:56 PM
i take back the giraffe thing.  they're bigger than i gave them credit for.

did you take a trip to the sunset zoo?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 15, 2012, 02:33:50 PM
i take back the giraffe thing.  they're bigger than i gave them credit for.

did you take a trip to the sunset zoo?
no
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Frankenklein on July 15, 2012, 03:34:41 PM
       Something killed one of my little chickens last Wed. night so Thur. I did a stakeout and caught the culprit,the smallest possum I`ve ever seen, about the size of a beer can. Wasn`t much of a fight because he kept doing that playing dead thing which really thwarted my killer instinct.After about 15 minutes of that I decided to haul his ass to the animal shelter but was too drunk and couldn`t get the after hours drop box open.He was still playing dead so I just pinned him down with the windshield wiper on the animal warden truck like a parking ticket.I watched him for a few minutes and he just kept on playing dead so I left.






















Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on July 15, 2012, 03:38:19 PM
       Something killed one of my little chickens last Wed. night so Thur. I did a stakeout and caught the culprit,the smallest possum I`ve ever seen, about the size of a beer can. Wasn`t much of a fight because he kept doing that playing dead thing which really thwarted my killer instinct.After about 15 minutes of that I decided to haul his ass to the animal shelter but was too drunk and couldn`t get the after hours drop box open.He was still playing dead so I just pinned him down with the windshield wiper on the animal warden truck like a parking ticket.I watched him for a few minutes and he just kept on playing dead so I left.

DQ on account of the use of night vision.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 15, 2012, 04:00:33 PM
       Something killed one of my little chickens last Wed. night so Thur. I did a stakeout and caught the culprit,the smallest possum I`ve ever seen, about the size of a beer can. Wasn`t much of a fight because he kept doing that playing dead thing which really thwarted my killer instinct.After about 15 minutes of that I decided to haul his ass to the animal shelter but was too drunk and couldn`t get the after hours drop box open.He was still playing dead so I just pinned him down with the windshield wiper on the animal warden truck like a parking ticket.I watched him for a few minutes and he just kept on playing dead so I left.

you should move this to the amazing animal stories thread.  also, you shouldn't drive drunk.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: yoga-like_abana on July 15, 2012, 04:05:02 PM
i take back the giraffe thing.  they're bigger than i gave them credit for.

did you take a trip to the sunset zoo?
there arent any giraffes at the sunset zoo carnie
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 15, 2012, 05:56:18 PM
i take back the giraffe thing.  they're bigger than i gave them credit for.

did you take a trip to the sunset zoo?
there arent any giraffes at the sunset zoo carnie

well, there are some at the world famous topeka zoo, or at least there were when i was younger
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 15, 2012, 06:42:30 PM
got a pm from the cow.  i had to ask about daris's claim to victory, he hadn't realized there'd been a fight.  seemed pretty pissed to find out though.  watch out, daris.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on July 15, 2012, 08:53:00 PM
got a pm from the cow.  i had to ask about daris's claim to victory, he hadn't realized there'd been a fight.  seemed pretty pissed to find out though.  watch out, daris.

Did the cow say anything about who he was betting on in the Daris vs FKKK fight? I might ask him if he's interested in coaching me.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 15, 2012, 09:21:03 PM
Did the cow say anything about who he was betting on in the Daris vs FKKK fight?

he didn't have an opinion and wasn't interested in hearing about it.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on July 15, 2012, 09:30:00 PM
Watched Slither over the w/e. I can confirm that a human that has been taken over by a large worm from another planet can kill the crap out of a cow. I was shocked. I had bet on the cow earlier in this thread.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: OK_Cat on July 16, 2012, 04:25:42 PM
i've spent days thinking about the giraffe scenario, and it's do-able.  you gotta be really quiet and sneak up behind it, and then just start kicking the living crap out of one of it's legs.

warning:  don't get in the path of it's other back leg, or you're mumped.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on July 16, 2012, 04:29:11 PM
i've spent days thinking about the giraffe scenario, and it's do-able.  you gotta be really quiet and sneak up behind it, and then just start kicking the living crap out of one of it's legs.

warning:  don't get in the path of it's other back leg, or you're mumped.

How high up are the giraffe's knee's?

I'm thinking that a running shoulder into its knee cap should be enough to shred some giraffe ACL. Then you just gotta wait for it to fall down and its all over.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 16, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
pfffftt.. daris I would watch your back at the next trivia night

Yeah, there could be a lynching if he's not careful.

That's an interesting choice of words


If it was intentional, it was an amazing post.

 :blush: Thanks.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dugout DickStone on July 16, 2012, 05:10:06 PM
Not mayor Stubbs....

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/cat-mayor-alaska-town-15-years-204423536.html
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 16, 2012, 05:18:08 PM
So it's been almost 24 hours and rick daris hasn't responded to my post about buying cow meat from him. Interesting. You would think if he had a dead cow on his hands he'd started chopping it up and turn a profit. It's, to a T, the K-State way. I'm sorry guys, I know we all thought rick daris an honest mod, but I don't think he's above reproach on this one.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Trim on July 16, 2012, 07:00:40 PM
I'd choke out a Falcon Ridge Golf Course rattlesnake.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on July 16, 2012, 07:07:24 PM
i've spent days thinking about the giraffe scenario, and it's do-able.  you gotta be really quiet and sneak up behind it, and then just start kicking the living crap out of one of it's legs.

warning:  don't get in the path of it's other back leg, or you're mumped.
man, they weigh 3500 pounds.  i think that's too big.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 16, 2012, 07:11:26 PM
i've spent days thinking about the giraffe scenario, and it's do-able.  you gotta be really quiet and sneak up behind it, and then just start kicking the living crap out of one of it's legs.

warning:  don't get in the path of it's other back leg, or you're mumped.

How high up are the giraffe's knee's?

I'm thinking that a running shoulder into its knee cap should be enough to shred some giraffe ACL. Then you just gotta wait for it to fall down and its all over.

get real.  if anything, you'll dislocate your shoulder and the giraffe wont even wince.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: CHONGS on July 16, 2012, 07:56:39 PM
Giraffes are double jointed dumbasses.

and if they lose a leg it grows back
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on July 16, 2012, 07:59:18 PM
I'd choke out a Falcon Ridge Golf Course rattlesnake.

protected species, you're going to jail, trim.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: CHONGS on July 16, 2012, 08:08:36 PM
I'd choke out a Falcon Ridge Golf Course rattlesnake.

protected species, you're going to jail, trim.
only if the snake dies trim
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dugout DickStone on July 16, 2012, 08:18:05 PM
I'd choke out a Falcon Ridge Golf Course rattlesnake.

protected species, you're going to jail, trim.

History shows he is more likely going to the hospital.
Title: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Pete on July 16, 2012, 08:30:27 PM
I've been staying out of this thread, for obvious reasons.

But this Rick Daris cow fighting is some bullshit.  I am calling for a FULL inquiry.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: OK_Cat on July 16, 2012, 09:44:07 PM
Giraffes are double jointed dumbasses.

and if they lose a leg it grows back

i call bullshit.  smack that rough rider in the back of the knee and it's going down like a little bitch.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on July 16, 2012, 09:49:48 PM
I've been staying out of this thread, for obvious reasons.

But this Rick Daris cow fighting is some bullshit.  I am calling for a FULL inquiry.

look, have you seen any cows posting on this board since the weekend? i sure haven't. time to put this baby to bed. or in this case, the cow out to pasture. and by cow i mean dead cow.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 16, 2012, 10:01:05 PM
well guys, i went ahead and did it:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.farmsanctuary.org%2Fwp-content%2Fgallery%2Fdairy%2Fdairy1_300_2.jpg&hash=2cfd43644549aabd349e778504ea857bc2ed14fc)
Title: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on July 16, 2012, 10:11:57 PM
Please describe your method and any difficulties (lol, right.) you may have had.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: kim carnes on July 16, 2012, 10:19:16 PM
Please describe your method and any difficulties (lol, right.) you may have had.

i jumped on its back, quickly put it in a figure 4 leg lock (picture a person hanging upside down from a cow's neck with their legs to strangle it), and that was all she wrote.  i didn't even break a sweat  :cool:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 17, 2012, 07:33:54 AM
any cat. the weak point is their neckmeat. Just pick them up by that and they are disabled, no matter how feral/crazy they are.

scruff, not neckmeat

WELL NO crap PISSCLAMS, I just figured, how many people would know what I was talking about if I typed "scruff" instead of neckmeat? Maybe 89%. I figured 100% coverage w/ "neckmeat" would work much better.

Anyways, I have to scruff my cats to get them to go in their cat carriers b/c they know they are going to the vet when they see those.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 17, 2012, 08:14:04 AM
I could not take a great white shark

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/16/west-australia-shark-attack-great-white-bites-surfer-linden-in-half-video_n_1677290.html

 :sdeek:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 17, 2012, 08:18:56 AM
I could not take a great white shark

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/16/west-australia-shark-attack-great-white-bites-surfer-linden-in-half-video_n_1677290.html

 :sdeek:
Yeah, but you could avoid it really easily. I never understood why JAWS was so scary. Just don't get on a boat, dock, pier, etc....and you'll be safe.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Ghost of Stan Parrish on July 18, 2012, 01:11:43 PM
True story: GOSP is going to the beach where Jaws was supposedly set for the weekend.  Hopefully I'll report back.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2012, 09:00:07 AM
Tore up a bat that somehow got into my bedroom last night. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on July 30, 2012, 09:04:18 AM
Tore up a bat that somehow got into my bedroom last night.

Wow, looks like someone actually manned up and put all these other posers in their place.

What technique did you use?

Personally I would of gone with a swinging attack using the mini george brett pine tar bat I keep by my bedside for just such an occasion(i have a judge for larger animals/criminals)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2012, 09:08:02 AM
Tore up a bat that somehow got into my bedroom last night.

Wow, looks like someone actually manned up and put all these other posers in their place.

What technique did you use?

Personally I would of gone with a swinging attack using the mini george brett pine tar bat I keep by my bedside for just such an occasion(i have a judge for larger animals/criminals)

I went with the open a window and femininely swing a broom at it trying to get it to fly out the window.  When that didn't work I trapped him using a plastic crate, and threw the crate WITH BAT out the window.  Then I went outside to check on it, and the crate had pinned the bat down on my deck.  I lifted it up and he flew away, because I'm a good person and in touch with nature. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 30, 2012, 09:12:53 AM
Tore up a bat that somehow got into my bedroom last night.

Wow, looks like someone actually manned up and put all these other posers in their place.

What technique did you use?

Personally I would of gone with a swinging attack using the mini george brett pine tar bat I keep by my bedside for just such an occasion(i have a judge for larger animals/criminals)

I went with the open a window and femininely swing a broom at it trying to get it to fly out the window.  When that didn't work I trapped him using a plastic crate, and threw the crate WITH BAT out the window.  Then I went outside to check on it, and the crate had pinned the bat down on my deck.  I lifted it up and he flew away, because I'm a good person and in touch with nature.

LOL, this thread is about fighting animals with your bare hands. You can't use a broom or any other weapon.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Cartierfor3 on July 30, 2012, 09:19:57 AM
Tore up a bat that somehow got into my bedroom last night.

Wow, looks like someone actually manned up and put all these other posers in their place.

What technique did you use?

Personally I would of gone with a swinging attack using the mini george brett pine tar bat I keep by my bedside for just such an occasion(i have a judge for larger animals/criminals)

I went with the open a window and femininely swing a broom at it trying to get it to fly out the window.  When that didn't work I trapped him using a plastic crate, and threw the crate WITH BAT out the window.  Then I went outside to check on it, and the crate had pinned the bat down on my deck.  I lifted it up and he flew away, because I'm a good person and in touch with nature.

LOL, this thread is about fighting animals with your bare hands. You can't use a broom or any other weapon.

Fine.  Mods move my posts to amazing animals stories thread. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on July 30, 2012, 09:20:46 AM
I had a bat stuck to an apartment wall one time.  just hanging out there in the living room.  grabbed it with a sweatshirt as a glove and then threw it outside and it flew away.  the sweatshirt was cheating.  barehanded he would have probably whooped me. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Ghost of Stan Parrish on July 31, 2012, 05:42:36 PM
True story: GOSP is going to the beach where Jaws was supposedly set for the weekend.  Hopefully I'll report back.

Thanks to the hundreds of posters here who pm'ed me to express concern.  I did go for a few swims, but I'm just fine!  Don't worry!   :cheers:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on August 01, 2012, 09:16:45 AM
True story: GOSP is going to the beach where Jaws was supposedly set for the weekend.  Hopefully I'll report back.

Thanks to the hundreds of posters here who pm'ed me to express concern.  I did go for a few swims, but I'm just fine!  Don't worry!   :cheers:
Yeah, but did your daughter make it back?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on August 01, 2012, 09:31:35 AM
I was really drunk during one hell week at my fraternity and I grabbed a bat that was in an upstairs bedroom of the house with my bare hand.  It had landed on a bed after someone had thrown a blanket at it.  He was a tiny little guy, but fearsome angry.  I put him down the back of a pledge's tighty whities.  He (the pledge) had a pillow case on his head at the time, so I don't know if he ever really knew what the eff was up.  I don't remember what happened after that.  I most likely stumbled off to be more of a barbaric prick to somebody else.  :frown: :facepalm:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on August 01, 2012, 09:35:45 AM
I was really drunk during one hell week at my fraternity and I grabbed a bat that was in an upstairs bedroom of the house with my bare hand.  It had landed on a bed after someone had thrown a blanket at it.  He was a tiny little guy, but fearsome angry.  I put him down the back of a pledge's tighty whities.  He (the pledge) had a pillow case on his head at the time, so I don't know if he ever really knew what the eff was up.  I don't remember what happened after that.  I most likely stumbled off to be more of a barbaric prick to somebody else.  :frown: :facepalm:

What you don't remember is your fraternity bro dying of rabies after that bat bit his pecker.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on August 01, 2012, 09:40:23 AM
I was really drunk during one hell week at my fraternity and I grabbed a bat that was in an upstairs bedroom of the house with my bare hand.  It had landed on a bed after someone had thrown a blanket at it.  He was a tiny little guy, but fearsome angry.  I put him down the back of a pledge's tighty whities.  He (the pledge) had a pillow case on his head at the time, so I don't know if he ever really knew what the eff was up.  I don't remember what happened after that.  I most likely stumbled off to be more of a barbaric prick to somebody else.  :frown: :facepalm:

What you don't remember is your fraternity bro dying of rabies after that bat bit his pecker.

Down the back of the tighty whities.  My drunken sociopathy only goes so far.  He didn't die.  I saw him fairly regularly over the next two years. :thumbsup:  Did not appear to be rabid, but can't confirm. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on August 01, 2012, 09:41:16 AM
You're kind of sick, Bread.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on August 01, 2012, 09:57:50 AM
You're kind of sick, Bread.

Me really drunk is a major double-edged sword for all involved.  I can be pretty hilarious, charismatic, life of the party, etc.  However there always exists the possibility for great destruction and/or despicable acts of a juvenile nature.  At least that was the case in days gone by.  I've evolved since then.  Unfortunately, many of the people I hung out with loved the hell out of both aspects and often delighted in my being a lumbering drunken man-baby as long as it wasn't directed at them.  If anything it was, at least implicitly, encouraged.  Even now, when we get together one of the favorite topics is Mr Bread stories.  I led a very charmed drunk life.  It is a near miracle I managed to stumble through it without out ruining my life in some manner or another.

As far as me being sick, yeah probably.  If I'm doing all that stuff drunk, then it's in there somewhere. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Ghost of Stan Parrish on August 01, 2012, 10:04:36 AM
True story: GOSP is going to the beach where Jaws was supposedly set for the weekend.  Hopefully I'll report back.

Thanks to the hundreds of posters here who pm'ed me to express concern.  I did go for a few swims, but I'm just fine!  Don't worry!   :cheers:
Yeah, but did your daughter make it back?

She's not my daughter!  (Man, I've never made a post that was so fanningesque...)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on August 01, 2012, 10:07:55 AM
You're kind of sick, Bread.

Me really drunk is a major double-edged sword for all involved.  I can be pretty hilarious, charismatic, life of the party, etc.  However there always exists the possibility for great destruction and/or despicable acts of a juvenile nature.  At least that was the case in days gone by.  I've evolved since then.  Unfortunately, many of the people I hung out with loved the hell out of both aspects and often delighted in my being a lumbering drunken man-baby as long as it wasn't directed at them.  If anything it was, at least implicitly, encouraged.  Even now, when we get together one of the favorite topics is Mr Bread stories.  I led a very charmed drunk life.  It is a near miracle I managed to stumble through it without out ruining my life in some manner or another.

As far as me being sick, yeah probably.  If I'm doing all that stuff drunk, then it's in there somewhere.

I'm sure the fraternity culture didn't tame your destructive nature, either.  Its really hard to turn down a funny idea when you're drunk and 20 other drunk people are chanting something. Chanting is just so fun.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: bubbles4ksu on August 01, 2012, 10:32:20 AM
You're kind of sick, Bread.

Me really drunk is a major double-edged sword for all involved.  I can be pretty hilarious, charismatic, life of the party, etc.  However there always exists the possibility for great destruction and/or despicable acts of a juvenile nature.  At least that was the case in days gone by.  I've evolved since then.  Unfortunately, many of the people I hung out with loved the hell out of both aspects and often delighted in my being a lumbering drunken man-baby as long as it wasn't directed at them.  If anything it was, at least implicitly, encouraged.  Even now, when we get together one of the favorite topics is Mr Bread stories.  I led a very charmed drunk life.  It is a near miracle I managed to stumble through it without out ruining my life in some manner or another.

As far as me being sick, yeah probably.  If I'm doing all that stuff drunk, then it's in there somewhere.

I'm sure the fraternity culture didn't tame your destructive nature, either.  Its really hard to turn down a funny idea when you're drunk and 20 other drunk people are chanting something. Chanting is just so fun.

let's hear some of your crazy stories, This is bullshit I demand my name be changed.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on August 01, 2012, 10:42:15 AM
You're kind of sick, Bread.

Me really drunk is a major double-edged sword for all involved.  I can be pretty hilarious, charismatic, life of the party, etc.  However there always exists the possibility for great destruction and/or despicable acts of a juvenile nature.  At least that was the case in days gone by.  I've evolved since then.  Unfortunately, many of the people I hung out with loved the hell out of both aspects and often delighted in my being a lumbering drunken man-baby as long as it wasn't directed at them.  If anything it was, at least implicitly, encouraged.  Even now, when we get together one of the favorite topics is Mr Bread stories.  I led a very charmed drunk life.  It is a near miracle I managed to stumble through it without out ruining my life in some manner or another.

As far as me being sick, yeah probably.  If I'm doing all that stuff drunk, then it's in there somewhere.

I'm sure the fraternity culture didn't tame your destructive nature, either.  Its really hard to turn down a funny idea when you're drunk and 20 other drunk people are chanting something. Chanting is just so fun.

Actually everything I did, I did because it occurred to me to do it.  I was the only audience I ever had in mind.  My own amusement was my sole motivation.  More often than not, it pissed somebody off.  Like I say though, I made it through relatively unscathed and now I have a crap ton of, what was seemingly incredibly fun at the time, quasi-memories and stories friends like to tell about me.  The funniest part for me is that the stories have become sort of Paul Bunyany in the retellings as the years go by.  They get slightly more outrageous every time.  It's a very weird phenomenon. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on August 01, 2012, 10:43:23 AM
You're kind of sick, Bread.

Me really drunk is a major double-edged sword for all involved.  I can be pretty hilarious, charismatic, life of the party, etc.  However there always exists the possibility for great destruction and/or despicable acts of a juvenile nature.  At least that was the case in days gone by.  I've evolved since then.  Unfortunately, many of the people I hung out with loved the hell out of both aspects and often delighted in my being a lumbering drunken man-baby as long as it wasn't directed at them.  If anything it was, at least implicitly, encouraged.  Even now, when we get together one of the favorite topics is Mr Bread stories.  I led a very charmed drunk life.  It is a near miracle I managed to stumble through it without out ruining my life in some manner or another.

As far as me being sick, yeah probably.  If I'm doing all that stuff drunk, then it's in there somewhere.

I'm sure the fraternity culture didn't tame your destructive nature, either.  Its really hard to turn down a funny idea when you're drunk and 20 other drunk people are chanting something. Chanting is just so fun.

Actually everything I did, I did because it occurred to me to do it.  I was the only audience I ever had in mind.  My own amusement was my sole motivation.  More often than not, it pissed somebody off.  Like I say though, I made it through relatively unscathed and now I have a crap ton of, what was seemingly incredibly fun at the time, quasi-memories and stories friends like to tell about me.  The funniest part for me is that the stories have become sort of Paul Bunyany in the retellings as the years go by.  They get slightly more outrageous every time.  It's a very weird phenomenon.

Yup, you're sick.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on August 01, 2012, 11:38:59 AM
What the eff have you people done with this once perfectly good thread?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: slobber on August 01, 2012, 11:42:31 AM
What the eff have you people done with this once perfectly good thread?
I think Mr. Bread has outed himself as an animal and everyone is now sizing up whether or not they could take him.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on August 01, 2012, 11:50:37 AM
What the eff have you people done with this once perfectly good thread?
I think Mr. Bread has outed himself as an animal and everyone is now sizing up whether or not they could take him.

If he is made of bread, I could take him. no questions.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on August 01, 2012, 11:53:46 AM
What the eff have you people done with this once perfectly good thread?

Bat stories gone wrong?  I dueled mine bare-handed as God intended (and thread rules require), then I went on an existential introspection tangent.  Which is as we all know where any bat story worth its salt ends up. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Cartierfor3 on August 01, 2012, 12:00:14 PM
What the eff have you people done with this once perfectly good thread?

Bat stories gone wrong?  I dueled mine bare-handed as God intended (and thread rules require), then I went on an existential introspection tangent.  Which is as we all know where any bat story worth its salt ends up.

you probably have rabies
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on August 01, 2012, 12:15:00 PM
What the eff have you people done with this once perfectly good thread?

Bat stories gone wrong?  I dueled mine bare-handed as God intended (and thread rules require), then I went on an existential introspection tangent.  Which is as we all know where any bat story worth its salt ends up.

you probably have rabies

if he has rabies i don't think i could take him. too unpredictable and dangerous/don't want rabies.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Mr Bread on August 01, 2012, 12:19:00 PM
What the eff have you people done with this once perfectly good thread?

Bat stories gone wrong?  I dueled mine bare-handed as God intended (and thread rules require), then I went on an existential introspection tangent.  Which is as we all know where any bat story worth its salt ends up.

you probably have rabies

if he has rabies i don't think i could take him. too unpredictable and dangerous/don't want rabies.

Early-stage symptoms of rabies are malaise, headache and fever, progressing to acute pain, violent movements, uncontrolled excitement, depression, and hydrophobia.  Finally, the patient may experience periods of mania and lethargy, eventually leading to coma. The primary cause of death is usually respiratory insufficiency.

If I'm late stage, which it seems like I must be, sounds like you've got me cold.  asava-1 / rabid Mr Bread-0

Also, I've never bitten anyone in a fight, so pretty low risk of transmission unless you're prone to biting.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on August 01, 2012, 12:26:37 PM
if we can stipulate to no biting then i'm game.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Asteriskhead on August 01, 2012, 01:30:23 PM
Late 80's and early 90's cartoons have made me think long and hard about this question. I'm definitely not challenging any turtles, rats or ducks.

I would like to take on a Chupacabra, though. It would be nice to avenge some meatgoats.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Bloodfart on March 20, 2013, 04:21:12 PM
http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/photos/15-cute-animals-that-could-kill-you/the-secret-weapon-cuteness

 :ohno:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: hemmy on March 20, 2013, 04:26:11 PM
Have sloths been mentioned? I could take a sloth.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on March 20, 2013, 04:40:25 PM
Have sloths been mentioned? I could take a sloth.

don't sloths have super strength?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on March 20, 2013, 04:42:57 PM
Have sloths been mentioned? I could take a sloth.

don't sloths have super strength?

I bet they could take a heck of a punch, too. They would probably just wear you down and then rip your throat out in slow motion.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Emo EMAW on March 20, 2013, 04:44:57 PM
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_Agq6EQxROnA%2FTTQiqyoLScI%2FAAAAAAAAACw%2F_sQrz3ua_RI%2Fs1600%2Fgoonies_sloth.jpg&hash=94b4dab2ddc897732797435d590d51ff22724420)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: asava on March 20, 2013, 04:45:40 PM
Have sloths been mentioned? I could take a sloth.

don't sloths have super strength?

I bet they could take a heck of a punch, too. They would probably just wear you down and then rip your throat out in slow motion.

 :horrorsurprise:

worst death ever. just sitting there thinking about dying for 10-15 minutes while a sloth begins his swipe. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Bloodfart on February 23, 2015, 06:20:31 PM
I've been thinking about the man vs cow debate ITT and I think I have the answer.  Most cows are scared to death of humans and even if it was tame all you would have to do is jump around and make loud noises till it got excited.  My strategy is chase that rough rider around until it over heated and died.  Boom case closed man is victorious again.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Fldermaus on February 24, 2015, 08:25:57 AM
Nigel Johnson was cramping and throwing up after running for 28 minutes in a ~two hour span.  WTF are you gonna do with a cow?   :Carl:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on February 24, 2015, 09:44:09 AM
I've been thinking about the man vs cow debate ITT and I think I have the answer.  Most cows are scared to death of humans and even if it was tame all you would have to do is jump around and make loud noises till it got excited.  My strategy is chase that rough rider around until it over heated and died.  Boom case closed man is victorious again.

have you ever even seen a cow in real life?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on February 24, 2015, 10:03:55 AM
a giraffe.  :lol:

man was I ever naive.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on February 24, 2015, 10:17:34 AM
this thread was a joy

now that i have a pitbull i would say the ultimate attack method would be ear scratches leading to tummy rubs
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: puniraptor on September 03, 2016, 02:32:18 AM
http://www.japantoday.com/category/national/view/man-uses-karate-skills-to-fight-off-bear-in-gunma (http://www.japantoday.com/category/national/view/man-uses-karate-skills-to-fight-off-bear-in-gunma)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Tobias on September 03, 2016, 02:39:01 AM
anything "prefecture" instantly sounds cool
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Tobias on September 03, 2016, 02:39:51 AM
source: books
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on August 07, 2019, 09:09:17 AM
Dlew just up and stole asavas thread idea.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Ksuminnesotacat on August 23, 2019, 09:11:27 AM
Can’t beat the skeeters!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: 8manpick on August 11, 2022, 03:01:51 PM
https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/wl7tr3/this_is_a_list_of_how_my_boss_thinks_hed_fare_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20220811/96dd9716cafa8b474d29c5bf78b2fa48.jpg)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on August 11, 2022, 03:06:08 PM
https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/wl7tr3/this_is_a_list_of_how_my_boss_thinks_hed_fare_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20220811/96dd9716cafa8b474d29c5bf78b2fa48.jpg)

What about ... the most dangerous game of all?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on August 11, 2022, 03:12:35 PM
When I first read "white tail" my mind went "cotton tail" and I thought I could also probably kick the crap out of a bunny.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Pete on August 11, 2022, 06:07:49 PM
I’d pay to watch that guy gladiator fight and lose to every animal in his win column.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: CHONGS on August 11, 2022, 06:53:29 PM
Chimps don't eff around when it comes to ending a fight.  That dude would be faceless and genitalless in about ten seconds
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on August 11, 2022, 09:33:41 PM
I’d pay to watch that guy gladiator fight and lose to every animal in his win column.

i think he could probably defeat about half of them.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: KST8FAN on August 11, 2022, 10:46:20 PM
Looks like wolf was a maybe then he realized he'd already beaten a wolverine and a large dog so confidence rising I can take out the wolf too.


Tom

Sent from my SM-G973U using Tapatalk

Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Pete on August 12, 2022, 06:30:36 AM
That guy could maybe take a bobcat.  But the others in his "win" column are suspect and vary wildly by size.

I wonder what this guy had in mind when he said large dog?  Like, his neighbor's fat Lab?  Or are we talking a huge angry 200 pound mastiff?

Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: wetwillie on August 12, 2022, 06:58:16 AM
That guy could maybe take a bobcat.  But the others in his "win" column are suspect and vary wildly by size.

I wonder what this guy had in mind when he said large dog?  Like, his neighbor's fat Lab?  Or are we talking a huge angry 200 pound mastiff?



I’d have to see this chad and what clothing/shoes he gets to wear before I’d say he could beat even one. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Katpappy on August 12, 2022, 08:33:24 PM
You don't even want to eff with a bobcat.  We had a large barn cat that would bite and scratch the living crap out of you.  It sat on the top rung of stairs and anybody who knew what that rough ridin' feline could do would go up stairs in the barn.  I know it would take around 10 seconds for a bobcat to eff that guy up so bad he would never come near one again.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on August 13, 2022, 11:13:32 AM
I'm pretty sure I could take a bobcat. Would I get pretty f'd up? Yeah, but I would be the one who walked out of the octagon of doom alive.

A full grown bobcat only weighs at most 40lbs. My strategy would be to kick the everliving crap out of it at a distance and protect my neck/face with my forearm. If I miss the kick and the bobcat lunges at me I give it my forearm to bite, it latches on then I powerslam that feline into the ground and stomp it.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on August 13, 2022, 11:15:07 AM
Also I had a huge L O L at Moose/Elk/Horse being on the maybe list. They would stomp you to smitherines within the first minute.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on August 13, 2022, 12:44:31 PM
in general people place way too much weight on how aggressive/placid an animal appears to be and way too little on the animal's mass.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: wetwillie on August 13, 2022, 12:57:02 PM
in general people place way too much weight on how aggressive/placid an animal appears to be and way too little on the animal's mass.

What weight should we be placing on claws and bite force
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on August 13, 2022, 12:58:40 PM
in general people place way too much weight on how aggressive/placid an animal appears to be and way too little on the animal's mass.

yeah, a goose is a vicious hell beast who will try to rip your entire face off. however, they aren't very big and you can just punt one to the moon if it came down to it.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on August 13, 2022, 12:59:43 PM
Chimps don't eff around when it comes to ending a fight.  That dude would be faceless and genitalless in about ten seconds

A chimp would rip his dick and balls off and eat them in front of him while he's still alive, and prob throw some crap at him too.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on August 13, 2022, 01:01:09 PM
I'm pretty sure I could take a bobcat. Would I get pretty f'd up? Yeah, but I would be the one who walked out of the octagon of doom alive.

A full grown bobcat only weighs at most 40lbs. My strategy would be to kick the everliving crap out of it at a distance and protect my neck/face with my forearm. If I miss the kick and the bobcat lunges at me I give it my forearm to bite, it latches on then I powerslam that feline into the ground and stomp it.

my parents have a bobcat and family of baby bobcats living in their front yard under a big spruce tree at the moment. so far the cat count appears to be surprisingly stable but the raccoon count is down dramatically.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on August 13, 2022, 01:03:38 PM
I'm pretty sure I could take a bobcat. Would I get pretty f'd up? Yeah, but I would be the one who walked out of the octagon of doom alive.

A full grown bobcat only weighs at most 40lbs. My strategy would be to kick the everliving crap out of it at a distance and protect my neck/face with my forearm. If I miss the kick and the bobcat lunges at me I give it my forearm to bite, it latches on then I powerslam that feline into the ground and stomp it.

my parents have a bobcat and family of baby bobcats living in their front yard under a big spruce tree at the moment. so far the cat count appears to be surprisingly stable but the raccoon count is down dramatically.

a fun story about my dad is when he was little he and a buddy of his had a family of bobcats treed and one of them was holding a gunny sack open to catch them and the other one was going to poke them down with a giant pole and thankfully my grandfather found them before they fully execute on their "knock the whirling ball of vicious claws and fangs down upon myself and into this small and very grabbable bag near my own nuts plan".
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on August 13, 2022, 01:04:39 PM
I came across a video of jaguars hunting pet dogs in india. wild crap. poor dogs. Then the same video had packs of trained dogs hunting down mountain lions, jaguars and stuff, and it was often a different story, but the dogs still took plenty of damage.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on August 13, 2022, 01:06:33 PM
I'm pretty sure I could take a bobcat. Would I get pretty f'd up? Yeah, but I would be the one who walked out of the octagon of doom alive.

A full grown bobcat only weighs at most 40lbs. My strategy would be to kick the everliving crap out of it at a distance and protect my neck/face with my forearm. If I miss the kick and the bobcat lunges at me I give it my forearm to bite, it latches on then I powerslam that feline into the ground and stomp it.

my parents have a bobcat and family of baby bobcats living in their front yard under a big spruce tree at the moment. so far the cat count appears to be surprisingly stable but the raccoon count is down dramatically.

a fun story about my dad is when he was little he and a buddy of his had a family of bobcats treed and one of them was holding a gunny sack open to catch them and the other one was going to poke them down with a giant pole and thankfully my grandfather found them before they fully execute on their knock the whirling ball of vicious claws and fangs down upon myself and into this small and very grabbable bag near my own nuts plan.

you hung out w your dad when he was little?

Also, didn't know wild bobcats could become familiar with people like that. Tho I do know someone who had one as a pet.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on August 13, 2022, 01:10:44 PM
I'm pretty sure I could take a bobcat. Would I get pretty f'd up? Yeah, but I would be the one who walked out of the octagon of doom alive.

A full grown bobcat only weighs at most 40lbs. My strategy would be to kick the everliving crap out of it at a distance and protect my neck/face with my forearm. If I miss the kick and the bobcat lunges at me I give it my forearm to bite, it latches on then I powerslam that feline into the ground and stomp it.

my parents have a bobcat and family of baby bobcats living in their front yard under a big spruce tree at the moment. so far the cat count appears to be surprisingly stable but the raccoon count is down dramatically.

a fun story about my dad is when he was little he and a buddy of his had a family of bobcats treed and one of them was holding a gunny sack open to catch them and the other one was going to poke them down with a giant pole and thankfully my grandfather found them before they fully execute on their knock the whirling ball of vicious claws and fangs down upon myself and into this small and very grabbable bag near my own nuts plan.

you hung out w your dad when he was little?

Also, didn't know wild bobcats could become familiar with people like that. Tho I do know someone who had one as a pet.

yes crap for brains I hung out with my dad when he was a little kid. OF COURSE I DIDN'T DO THAT. it is a second hand story told to me by my grandfather and my father.

a guy who lived by our ranch had a pet bobcat and a pet mountain lion. I got into the big cage with the bobcat and played with it a couple times.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on August 13, 2022, 01:12:41 PM
I'm pretty sure I could take a bobcat. Would I get pretty f'd up? Yeah, but I would be the one who walked out of the octagon of doom alive.

A full grown bobcat only weighs at most 40lbs. My strategy would be to kick the everliving crap out of it at a distance and protect my neck/face with my forearm. If I miss the kick and the bobcat lunges at me I give it my forearm to bite, it latches on then I powerslam that feline into the ground and stomp it.

my parents have a bobcat and family of baby bobcats living in their front yard under a big spruce tree at the moment. so far the cat count appears to be surprisingly stable but the raccoon count is down dramatically.

a fun story about my dad is when he was little he and a buddy of his had a family of bobcats treed and one of them was holding a gunny sack open to catch them and the other one was going to poke them down with a giant pole and thankfully my grandfather found them before they fully execute on their knock the whirling ball of vicious claws and fangs down upon myself and into this small and very grabbable bag near my own nuts plan.

you hung out w your dad when he was little?

Also, didn't know wild bobcats could become familiar with people like that. Tho I do know someone who had one as a pet.

yes crap for brains I hung out with my dad when he was a little kid. OF COURSE I DIDN'T DO THAT. it is a second hand story told to me by my grandfather and my father.

a guy who lived by our ranch had a pet bobcat and a pet mountain lion. I got into the big cage with the bobcat and play with it a couple times.

 :dunno:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on August 13, 2022, 01:13:45 PM
I'm pretty sure I could take a bobcat. Would I get pretty f'd up? Yeah, but I would be the one who walked out of the octagon of doom alive.

A full grown bobcat only weighs at most 40lbs. My strategy would be to kick the everliving crap out of it at a distance and protect my neck/face with my forearm. If I miss the kick and the bobcat lunges at me I give it my forearm to bite, it latches on then I powerslam that feline into the ground and stomp it.

my parents have a bobcat and family of baby bobcats living in their front yard under a big spruce tree at the moment. so far the cat count appears to be surprisingly stable but the raccoon count is down dramatically.

a fun story about my dad is when he was little he and a buddy of his had a family of bobcats treed and one of them was holding a gunny sack open to catch them and the other one was going to poke them down with a giant pole and thankfully my grandfather found them before they fully execute on their knock the whirling ball of vicious claws and fangs down upon myself and into this small and very grabbable bag near my own nuts plan.

you hung out w your dad when he was little?

Also, didn't know wild bobcats could become familiar with people like that. Tho I do know someone who had one as a pet.

yes crap for brains I hung out with my dad when he was a little kid. OF COURSE I DIDN'T DO THAT. it is a second hand story told to me by my grandfather and my father.

a guy who lived by our ranch had a pet bobcat and a pet mountain lion. I got into the big cage with the bobcat and play with it a couple times.

 :dunno:

that was the name of their plan in my mind. should have put open quotes before knock and closed quotes after plan. fixed.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on August 13, 2022, 01:15:08 PM
I'm pretty sure I could take a bobcat. Would I get pretty f'd up? Yeah, but I would be the one who walked out of the octagon of doom alive.

A full grown bobcat only weighs at most 40lbs. My strategy would be to kick the everliving crap out of it at a distance and protect my neck/face with my forearm. If I miss the kick and the bobcat lunges at me I give it my forearm to bite, it latches on then I powerslam that feline into the ground and stomp it.

my parents have a bobcat and family of baby bobcats living in their front yard under a big spruce tree at the moment. so far the cat count appears to be surprisingly stable but the raccoon count is down dramatically.

a fun story about my dad is when he was little he and a buddy of his had a family of bobcats treed and one of them was holding a gunny sack open to catch them and the other one was going to poke them down with a giant pole and thankfully my grandfather found them before they fully execute on their knock the whirling ball of vicious claws and fangs down upon myself and into this small and very grabbable bag near my own nuts plan.

you hung out w your dad when he was little?

Also, didn't know wild bobcats could become familiar with people like that. Tho I do know someone who had one as a pet.

yes crap for brains I hung out with my dad when he was a little kid. OF COURSE I DIDN'T DO THAT. it is a second hand story told to me by my grandfather and my father.

a guy who lived by our ranch had a pet bobcat and a pet mountain lion. I got into the big cage with the bobcat and play with it a couple times.

 :dunno:

that was the name of their plan in my mind. should have put open quotes before knock and closed quotes after plan. fixed.

 :lol: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on August 13, 2022, 02:57:34 PM
Also I had a huge L O L at Moose/Elk/Horse being on the maybe list. They would stomp you to smitherines within the first minute.

I would not only destroy a moose immediately with my bare hands and feet, but I'd also take his moose wife and destroy his pride.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on August 13, 2022, 02:59:25 PM
moose have spindely rickety legs. I would simply knock one off balance and then be upon him raining down blow after blow about his head and body and balls and ballsack.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on August 13, 2022, 03:00:30 PM
moose have spindely rickety legs. I would simply knock one off balance and then be upon him raining down blow after blow about his head and body and balls and ballsack.

True fact: I've never lost a fight when I cracked a knee right off the bat.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on August 13, 2022, 03:03:17 PM
(https://media0.giphy.com/media/nKOQOFyg2tzhmKbE0e/200.gif)

^ moose ballsack
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on August 13, 2022, 03:37:08 PM
moose have spindely rickety legs. I would simply knock one off balance and then be upon him raining down blow after blow about his head and body and balls and ballsack.

Yeah okay, you would take a hoof to the head and your body would have the consistency of ground beef after a couple of minutes.

Go to the 44 second mark of this video and pretend you aren't on a snow mobile and the moose isnt a lil guy.

(Warning, video below shows a moose attacking a snow mobiler then getting shot)


https://youtu.be/KKvbAfvtqqQ
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on August 13, 2022, 03:44:07 PM
Bitch-ass moose folded like a chair.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on August 13, 2022, 04:00:42 PM
That dude wanted to shoot that moose from the jump iyam
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: steve dave on August 13, 2022, 04:04:13 PM
Bitch-ass moose folded like a chair.
Pathetic


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: OB_Won on August 13, 2022, 09:29:06 PM
Bitch-ass moose folded like a chair.
Pathetic


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
He aint no 50 Cent, that's for sure.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on August 14, 2022, 12:14:35 AM
Bitch-ass moose folded like a chair.
Pathetic


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
He aint no 50 Cent, that's for sure.

He ain’t fuckin’ breathin’
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Katpappy on August 14, 2022, 07:01:39 PM
Guess what kills more people than any other Alaskan animal.  If you guessed moose, you are correct.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on August 14, 2022, 07:19:09 PM
Guess who kills more moose with his bare hands and feet than any other living human? If you guessed me, you are correct.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: CHONGS on August 14, 2022, 07:52:17 PM
Guess who kills more moose with his bare hands and feet than any other living human? If you guessed me, you are correct.
Moose Mossage.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stevesie60 on August 14, 2022, 08:51:14 PM
Guess who kills more moose with his bare hands and feet than any other living human? If you guessed me, you are correct.

I guessed steve dave. Are you sure that's the wrong answer?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on August 14, 2022, 08:54:57 PM
Stevesie!
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on August 14, 2022, 08:56:55 PM
Guess who kills more moose with his bare hands and feet than any other living human? If you guessed me, you are correct.

I guessed steve dave. Are you sure that's the wrong answer?

I don't know his count. I've taken 14, myself. Always crack a knee right off the bat. That's the key.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stevesie60 on August 14, 2022, 09:02:52 PM
Stevesie!

 :emawkid:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on August 14, 2022, 09:29:52 PM
Guess who kills more moose with his bare hands and feet than any other living human? If you guessed me, you are correct.
Moose Mossage.
Moose Mossad
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Katpappy on August 14, 2022, 11:09:01 PM
Serious question, If I for say wanted to go moose hunting in AK would I need to take spracne?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stevesie60 on August 14, 2022, 11:45:40 PM
That wouldn't be a hunt, that'd be a blood bath.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: cfbandyman on August 14, 2022, 11:47:03 PM
Take on all the moose you'd like, hand to antler, would not feel confident at all
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on August 15, 2022, 02:12:58 AM
Take on all the moose you'd like, hand to antler, would not feel confident at all

That's why you crack a knee first.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on August 15, 2022, 03:49:22 PM
Take on all the moose you'd like, hand to antler, would not feel confident at all

That's why you crack a knee first.

Moose knees might as well come with a big sign on them reading “kick here.”
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: yoga-like_abana on August 15, 2022, 04:13:29 PM
I've found their knuckle is very sensitive
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: nicname on August 15, 2022, 04:16:02 PM
I've found their knuckle is very sensitive

If you can’t crack a knee, gently caress a knuckle iyam. There’s no shortage of ways to whip some moose ass.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: mocat on October 16, 2022, 02:12:06 PM
look at this dinosaur size ass moose

https://twitter.com/OTerrifying/status/1581093753758285825?t=m0DG9I-DKg04Ima6NNHIBQ&s=19
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on October 16, 2022, 02:42:38 PM
The Empire thought AT-ATs were invulnerable, too.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DaBigTrain on October 16, 2022, 02:43:17 PM
That’s a big moose!
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: mocat on October 16, 2022, 03:07:41 PM


The Empire thought AT-ATs were invulnerable, too.


The Empire losing was a huge upset, which is kind of the point here
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on October 16, 2022, 03:10:02 PM
All it takes is one man (me) figuring out how to exploit the vulnerabilities. Then it's hunting season on these ridiculous oafs 24/7/365.

Crack the knee.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Trim on October 17, 2022, 04:33:57 PM
https://twitter.com/KevOnStage/status/1582114469622083584
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on October 17, 2022, 08:18:18 PM
that was a good move pushing the bear off the rock (feel bad for the poor bear, tho).
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: mocat on October 20, 2022, 12:18:05 PM
We gotta take bears down in the rankings, this is getting embarrassing for them. Twice in the last week!

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/two-college-wrestlers-mauled-grizzly-bear-hunting-wyoming-rcna52777 (https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/two-college-wrestlers-mauled-grizzly-bear-hunting-wyoming-rcna52777)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Trim on October 20, 2022, 02:44:57 PM
Cummings is being pretty gracious to Lowry.

https://www.deseret.com/utah/2022/10/17/23408910/grizzly-bear-attacks-college-wrestlers
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Katpappy on October 20, 2022, 07:56:36 PM
https://twitter.com/KevOnStage/status/1582114469622083584

Why do I see MIR camping out with the boys and telling this story.  BTW, made this tale go from funny to hilarious when my mind switched to this scenario :ROFL:.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on October 20, 2022, 08:00:52 PM
https://twitter.com/KevOnStage/status/1582114469622083584

Why do I see MIR camping out with the boys and telling this story.

Because you've never met him? By the way, I could totally see MIR kicking a moose's ass, so long as he cracks a knee right off the bat.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on October 20, 2022, 08:16:12 PM
Red Tailed Hawks. Locked in a 2 car garage, the hawks are aggressive and hopped up on some Rabies/protect the young energy where they constantly attack you. You are wearing jeans, a long sleeved dress shirt and tennis shoes...No hat or extra layers. Winner walks out with 5 Million Dollars.

1. What number of hawks could you take?

I'd say twenty as a conservative number to start with. Could you take more?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on October 20, 2022, 09:18:22 PM
i think that after a smallish number (4-5?) additional hawks would just impair the other hawks' ability to fight.  also i don't think hawks can get rabies and aren't highly motivated by money.

anyways, i think i could kill a lot of hawks.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on October 20, 2022, 09:38:56 PM
i think that after a smallish number (4-5?) additional hawks would just impair the other hawks' ability to fight.  also i don't think hawks can get rabies and aren't highly motivated by money.

anyways, i think i could kill a lot of hawks.
More than 20?

What if you were trapped in the OOD instead of a 2 car garage?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on October 20, 2022, 10:39:09 PM
i think i could kill almost as many hawks as would fit in the garage.

in a basketball arena, i expect that however many hawks there were would perch out of reach until we all died of dehydration or boredom.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: _33 on October 21, 2022, 08:34:23 AM
A few years ago we actually had a hawk stuck in our garage.  It refused to fly out of the big giant open garage door and instead was only trying to fly out of the glass covered window on the side of the garage.  So I went outside and over to the garage window and scared the crap out of it by banging on the glass and then it flew out all scared. I could have killed it with my bare hands but sometimes the biggest fight you will ever win, is mercy.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Katpappy on October 22, 2022, 02:16:10 AM
Mercy killing.  :nono:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DreamWeaver69 on November 03, 2022, 04:11:30 PM
This video reminded me how easy it would be to ick a sharks ass. Just bonk that rough rider on the nose. Case closed!

https://twitter.com/DailyLoud/status/1588201586572099587?s=20&t=4y8nXUW0lOmt_kZyuMkPlA
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on November 03, 2022, 05:48:58 PM
Sharks are the moose of the sea. All hat, no cattle.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Trim on November 29, 2022, 12:55:42 PM
https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1597619183508160512
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DreamWeaver69 on December 23, 2022, 02:21:01 PM
I would absolutely eff up a kangaroo!

https://twitter.com/bornakang/status/1606136838288089088?s=46&t=ilu2QyZNptSYw9sdw_RI_g
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on December 25, 2022, 11:33:26 PM
I would absolutely eff up a kangaroo!

https://twitter.com/bornakang/status/1606136838288089088?s=46&t=ilu2QyZNptSYw9sdw_RI_g

Give me Kangaroo -1100 and I'm still taking that bet. Here is how it goes

Wacky squares up with the Kangaroo, the Kangaroo shreds his face with its giant t-rex front claws while wacky attempts to punch it. Realizing that punching is not going to work wacky tackles the kangaroo then gets his insides shredded by the powerful lower legs/claws of the kangaroo.

The kangaroo hops away and wacky is rushed to the hospital and they ask his wife what happened and she has to explain how some internet people bullied her husband into trying to fight a kangaroo. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Katpappy on December 26, 2022, 01:49:10 AM
I would absolutely eff up a kangaroo!

https://twitter.com/bornakang/status/1606136838288089088?s=46&t=ilu2QyZNptSYw9sdw_RI_g

Give me Kangaroo -1100 and I'm still taking that bet. Here is how it goes

Wacky squares up with the Kangaroo, the Kangaroo shreds his face with its giant t-rex front claws while wacky attempts to punch it. Realizing that punching is not going to work wacky tackles the kangaroo then gets his insides shredded by the powerful lower legs/claws of the kangaroo.

The kangaroo hops away and wacky is rushed to the hospital and they ask his wife what happened and she has to explain how some internet people bullied her husband into trying to fight a kangaroo.

Finally, someone sees the reality of fighting a wild animal.   :lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: mocat on January 27, 2023, 04:21:34 PM
it's laughable how much I could not kick a moose's ass

https://twitter.com/ralphamsden/status/1618997279180099585?s=20&t=mL9O9at5wFgrvTEce253xQ
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 27, 2023, 04:49:22 PM
it's laughable how much I could not kick a moose's ass

https://twitter.com/ralphamsden/status/1618997279180099585?s=20&t=mL9O9at5wFgrvTEce253xQ

Looks like spacne needs to come back and sweep the leg one more time.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 27, 2023, 04:50:31 PM
And if you have to pick just one of those animals, I think I'd go with the shark. Sometimes people punch them in the face and they run away. And they are in the water, so they can't even swing all that hard at them.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Brock Landers on January 27, 2023, 06:17:51 PM
Yeah all the alleged moose fight'rs in this thread really exposed themselves as fake tough guys.  For all we know they're most likely dead from being on the wrong end of a moose encounter.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: wetwillie on January 27, 2023, 07:00:13 PM
And if you have to pick just one of those animals, I think I'd go with the shark. Sometimes people punch them in the face and they run away. And they are in the water, so they can't even swing all that hard at them.

Yea I’m fighting the shark on land, would be super pud.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on January 27, 2023, 07:04:02 PM
it's laughable how much I could not kick a moose's ass

https://twitter.com/ralphamsden/status/1618997279180099585?s=20&t=mL9O9at5wFgrvTEce253xQ

I would take that monkey in a heartbeat and give myself a 50% chance of coming out alive. The rest are just absurd...here they are ranked as hardest to defeat

1. Moose - You would be trampled to death in 30 seconds.
2. Hippo - Your only chance is to maybe high jump on its back and ride it like a bronco while smashing its face with your fists but I dont think that would do anything.
3. Shark - Only reason this is so low is because we dont know the conditions. Are you fighting it in water or on land? Even if we are on land in some octagon of doom I feel like the shark could roll around and crush me.
4. Monkey thing - Yeah it would be tough and it would probably rip my balls off and bite my face but if push comes to shove I think my height/weight advantage would lead me to be the victor.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: wetwillie on January 27, 2023, 07:06:44 PM
I’d give you a 10% chance against the monkey if it was old and had lived its whole life in the zoo.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on January 27, 2023, 07:35:47 PM
I’d give you a 10% chance against the monkey if it was old and had lived its whole life in the zoo.

Get that sucker in a chokehold and its done. Am I going to get bit/scratched to hell and back? Yup.

But in a OOD Cage match for life or death I feel there is a better than 50% chance I come out alive which is more than I can say about the other 3.

An actual cage would actually be to the monkeys advantage since it could climb on the walls/ceiling but I still feel confident in my better than 50% chance of living. When it's swinging from the roof I could just grab its stupid tail and thor's hammer it to the ground.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: wetwillie on January 27, 2023, 07:51:05 PM
Just Google Charla Nash and then fight the shark IMO.  Just have to wait for it to asphyxiate.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: cfbandyman on January 27, 2023, 09:17:57 PM
it's laughable how much I could not kick a moose's ass

https://twitter.com/ralphamsden/status/1618997279180099585?s=20&t=mL9O9at5wFgrvTEce253xQ

I would take that monkey in a heartbeat and give myself a 50% chance of coming out alive. The rest are just absurd...here they are ranked as hardest to defeat

1. Moose - You would be trampled to death in 30 seconds.
2. Hippo - Your only chance is to maybe high jump on its back and ride it like a bronco while smashing its face with your fists but I dont think that would do anything.
3. Shark - Only reason this is so low is because we dont know the conditions. Are you fighting it in water or on land? Even if we are on land in some octagon of doom I feel like the shark could roll around and crush me.
4. Monkey thing - Yeah it would be tough and it would probably rip my balls off and bite my face but if push comes to shove I think my height/weight advantage would lead me to be the victor.

Yeah, none are good options but hippos are like the deadliest to humans animals, moose is lollers to try and take, and idk how you get a shark on land to beat it, in water, lol. Monkey is the only one you got a shot and it ain't great. If "picking up anything around you" is an option monkey becomes way easier, but doesn't much help the other 3.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Katpappy on January 28, 2023, 01:18:39 AM
Whop up on a monkey....  :lol:
.https://youtu.be/KVbi48Nr46c
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 28, 2023, 12:18:37 PM
I wouldn't choose the monkey because it would probably be the most painful death of the four.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: mocat on January 28, 2023, 12:21:11 PM
There's a non zero chance I could befriend a hippo and be his back scratcher or whatever he needed
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: MakeItRain on January 28, 2023, 03:42:24 PM
The answer is clearly the shark, because like RATM said, you're taught to punch a shark in the snout or the eye if you encounter one. Try that with the other three and see how that works out for you. A shark attack is also the most survivable of the group, the shark wants food, if you fight it will just go find an easier mark. None of the other three would want to eat you, their only goal is to eliminate the threat.

For those of you sleeping on the baboon
(https://static8.depositphotos.com/1291951/823/i/950/depositphotos_8233223-stock-photo-mouth-of-monkey-baboon.jpg)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 28, 2023, 07:17:48 PM
Yeah, that thing would rip your face off and place your balls into the cavity.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: mocat on January 28, 2023, 07:55:45 PM
The shark thing is kind of like you have one chance to land a punch to save your entire life. If you whiff you are instantly chopped in half though
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: KST8FAN on January 28, 2023, 08:11:25 PM
... the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and sometimes that shark he go away… but sometimes he wouldn’t go away.

Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks come in and… they rip you to pieces.


Tom

Sent from my SM-G973U using Tapatalk

Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: wiley on January 28, 2023, 08:51:50 PM
Most sharks on the reef are skittish AF when it comes to humans.  Ive been about 15’ from a 10’ tiger shark in open water.  I had no idea it was there until it was swimming right in front of us.  You’d have no idea it was coming until you were missing an appendage.

Sharks are pud until you start talking about Bull Sharks, Tiger Sharks and the obvious Great Whites.  Most often it isn’t the shark eating you that kills, it’s bleeding out from the torso sized wound it left you while figuring out you aren’t food.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Pete on January 28, 2023, 10:15:53 PM
... the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and sometimes that shark he go away… but sometimes he wouldn’t go away.

Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks come in and… they rip you to pieces.


Tom

Sent from my SM-G973U using Tapatalk
(https://media3.giphy.com/media/d30OKLggj1c34Ua5sf/giphy.gif)
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on January 28, 2023, 10:23:43 PM
The answer is clearly the shark, because like RATM said, you're taught to punch a shark in the snout or the eye if you encounter one. Try that with the other three and see how that works out for you. A shark attack is also the most survivable of the group, the shark wants food, if you fight it will just go find an easier mark. None of the other three would want to eat you, their only goal is to eliminate the threat.

For those of you sleeping on the baboon
(https://static8.depositphotos.com/1291951/823/i/950/depositphotos_8233223-stock-photo-mouth-of-monkey-baboon.jpg)

We are talking about an OOD death match here. Yeah, sure I could punch a shark in the ocean and it would swim away but what if it cant? One barrel roll and I'm crushed.

No doubt the baboon would eff me up but the largest baboon is like 82lbs so I feel confident I could subdue it with my height/weight advantage. If its a battle royale one man/baboon walks out alive I'm betting on myself.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: mocat on January 28, 2023, 10:42:49 PM
I am enraged at ben ji thinking he has any chance at avoiding monkey-induced dismemberment
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on January 28, 2023, 10:45:29 PM
I am enraged at ben ji thinking he has any chance at avoiding monkey-induced dismemberment

I will freely admit that the baboon will F me up beyond all recognition. I'm just saying if you put me in a cage with a baboon and said "Only 1 walks out alive" I feel confident I would walk out alive in bad shape.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 29, 2023, 12:49:14 PM
I am enraged at ben ji thinking he has any chance at avoiding monkey-induced dismemberment

I will freely admit that the baboon will F me up beyond all recognition. I'm just saying if you put me in a cage with a baboon and said "Only 1 walks out alive" I feel confident I would walk out alive in bad shape.

 :lol:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 29, 2023, 12:53:02 PM
You know how in the movies, the cops get a criminal who won't talk because "no matter what you do, it won't be as bad as what the mob will do." Well, ben ji would sing right away because the cops have guns, and those mob guys are only going to be using some rope, a blowtorch, and a set of pliers.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: wetwillie on January 29, 2023, 12:57:27 PM
Only way to settle this is put a monkey in the octagon with Ben Ji and see who walks away.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on January 29, 2023, 03:49:13 PM
i dunno why the shark is the only animal that gets to choose where to fight.  if the shark gets to choose ocean, the moose should be able to choose 3 feet of snow or whatever.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on January 29, 2023, 04:39:47 PM
I'm still taking the moose. Crack a knee right off the bat; you can't lose.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: MakeItRain on January 29, 2023, 07:21:52 PM
lol, you'd get kicked into next month
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: CHONGS on January 29, 2023, 07:25:36 PM
A dozen or so bees would be tough to beat.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: MakeItRain on January 29, 2023, 07:30:43 PM
I got a swarmed by yellow jackets 10.5 years ago and I'm still feeling after effects to this day.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: bucket on January 29, 2023, 07:43:46 PM
I got a swarmed by yellow jackets 10.5 years ago and I'm still feeling after effects to this day.

Been there. Those little fuckers have so much fight in them. They don't stop until you kill every last one.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Katpappy on January 29, 2023, 07:55:49 PM
I am enraged at ben ji thinking he has any chance at avoiding monkey-induced dismemberment

I will freely admit that the baboon will F me up beyond all recognition. I'm just saying if you put me in a cage with a baboon and said "Only 1 walks out alive" I feel confident I would walk out alive in bad shape.

Are you aware that baboons can kill male African lions?  They do it when lions kill a young baboon.  They get together gang style and raid a lions den.  They are after a kit, but if a lion interferes, they kill the lion. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 29, 2023, 08:23:27 PM
A dozen or so bees would be tough to beat.

This is just one animal. And I would kick a single bee's ass into next week. I would also kill a dozen bees, but it would be painful.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: star seed 7 on January 30, 2023, 01:33:55 AM
I once caught a bee in my hand. It stung me and I let it go
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Katpappy on January 30, 2023, 02:34:25 AM
Must have hurt, since you still remember it. 
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 30, 2023, 10:38:28 AM
I once caught a bee in my hand. It stung me and I let it go

Bees die when they sting you, so it didn't get far.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stupid Fitz on January 30, 2023, 11:16:44 AM
was doing some weed whacking at my bros house in HS. walked right into a hive that was on the ground. looked down and it was like I was wearing bee pants. ran away brushing them off. finally got them all off my legs and one of those bastards flew up and stung me right underneath the eyeball. went to sleep that night and mom woke me up in the middle of the night to check on me and started yelling. I looked in mirror and I looked like the dude from Goonies. went to the ER. Prob pretty lucky I didn't die in my sleep.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stupid Fitz on January 30, 2023, 11:19:40 AM
https://twitter.com/fightsonlyy/status/1619415908644188160
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: OK_Cat on January 30, 2023, 11:27:49 AM
holy crap, i bet that felt awesome
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on January 30, 2023, 02:42:51 PM
I am enraged at ben ji thinking he has any chance at avoiding monkey-induced dismemberment

I will freely admit that the baboon will F me up beyond all recognition. I'm just saying if you put me in a cage with a baboon and said "Only 1 walks out alive" I feel confident I would walk out alive in bad shape.

Are you aware that baboons can kill male African lions?  They do it when lions kill a young baboon.  They get together gang style and raid a lions den.  They are after a kit, but if a lion interferes, they kill the lion.
I'm not fighting a pack of baboons tho

Sent from my Pixel 3a XL using Tapatalk

Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: MakeItRain on January 30, 2023, 03:27:03 PM
https://twitter.com/fightsonlyy/status/1619415908644188160

I don't understand why this dude was punching a coyote like it was a man, there can't be too many places to punch a canine without punching skull or punching near exposed canine teeth.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stupid Fitz on January 30, 2023, 03:59:11 PM
https://twitter.com/fightsonlyy/status/1619415908644188160

I don't understand why this dude was punching a coyote like it was a man, there can't be too many places to punch a canine without punching skull or punching near exposed canine teeth.

I feel like this guy was prob mad at a bunch of other things and this coyote was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I imagine that doesn't happen to coyotes too often.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: star seed 7 on January 30, 2023, 04:01:35 PM
My dog would eff up a coyote way worse than I could
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 30, 2023, 04:04:42 PM
I thought it was weird that the black dog just stood there and watched.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Stupid Fitz on January 30, 2023, 04:13:31 PM
I thought it was weird that the black dog just stood there and watched.

Doggie learned that he needs to listen to every rough ridin' word his master says from here on out.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on January 30, 2023, 05:18:44 PM
I don't understand why this dude was punching a coyote like it was a man, there can't be too many places to punch a canine without punching skull or punching near exposed canine teeth.

they got a big rib area that's made for punching.

good video that shows how ridiculous the choices given are.  always pick the smallest animal.  forget claws and teeth and all that nonsense, if you outweigh an animal by 3 or 4x you're going to be able to beat the crap out of it (and vice-versa).
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: ben ji on January 30, 2023, 10:14:10 PM
I don't understand why this dude was punching a coyote like it was a man, there can't be too many places to punch a canine without punching skull or punching near exposed canine teeth.

they got a big rib area that's made for punching.

good video that shows how ridiculous the choices given are.  always pick the smallest animal.  forget claws and teeth and all that nonsense, if you outweigh an animal by 3 or 4x you're going to be able to beat the crap out of it (and vice-versa).

Glad to see that SYS agrees I could beat a Baboon in an OOD death match scenario. The weight difference would be the deciding factor.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 31, 2023, 09:37:04 AM
I actually thought baboons were a lot bigger than they are. Thought they were closer to chimpanzee size. So at least it probably wouldn't be able to rip your hands off of your arms.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Katpappy on February 01, 2023, 11:14:28 AM
Just thought I would leave this here in the concern of city boys getting hurt.
Gumtree lists what to do if you’re confronted by a baboon:

Stand still and remain calm. Sudden movements will make it act defensively.
Do not shout or make wild gestures as this will encourage an attack.
Spray the baboon with a strong stream of water as they are not fond of water.
Stand still, don’t show your teeth, and look them straight in the eyes.
Do not try to take anything back from the baboon, as it will fight back. Baboons have both musculature and teeth that can do serious damage to human flesh.
Back away slowly and do not block its escape route.
Do not threaten their infants because the alpha male, will protect them from you with aggression if necessary.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: sys on February 05, 2023, 07:36:25 PM
take camels off the list.

https://twitter.com/warnerta/status/1622350512325541889
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: schreds21 on February 05, 2023, 07:43:43 PM
Jesus!  Was that rough rider eating him at the end?  I mean, the guy kinda had it coming but that was viscous.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: mocat on February 05, 2023, 09:30:00 PM
a camel is like a slightly smaller more docile moose with no antlers
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Pete on February 05, 2023, 09:34:29 PM
Bet they had to kill the camel.  Once they get a taste for man flesh.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: MakeItRain on February 05, 2023, 11:56:59 PM
Goddamn! That's not even that big of a camel.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on February 06, 2023, 02:12:26 AM
The knees. Crack 'em.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Sandstone Outcropping on February 12, 2023, 10:41:09 AM
I've been watching The Man in the High Castle and listening to an audiobook about the Battle of the Bulge and so of course last night I had this dream that Nazis / The Gestapo put a large dog (like a german shepherd) in my house to kill me. I wrestled the dog to the floor and tried to choke it to death with my bare hands (I really didn't want to break it's neck). After several minutes of trying to choke it out, I could still feel its carotid arteries pulsating under my fingers and so I ended up snapping its neck to kill it (not sure how hard it would be to snap a dog's neck but probably a lot harder than a pheasant's neck which is the only animal I've ever killed by breaking its neck). Anyway, I had to figure out a way to hide the carcass because I knew the gestapo would be filled with homicidal rage toward me if they found out I had killed the dog they put it my house to kill me. I ended up trying to hide the body in a large trash sack in my dumpster. Woke up from the dream feeling very tired and dirty.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on February 12, 2023, 01:31:39 PM
Let's just hope you weren't actually sleepwalking and killing John Wick's dog.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Pete on February 12, 2023, 02:07:19 PM
Or any dog. I am against sleepwalk killings of any dog.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Sandstone Outcropping on February 12, 2023, 02:19:44 PM
Or any dog. I am against sleepwalk killings of any dog.
Thankfully, my dog was still alive this morning.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: passranch on February 13, 2023, 02:20:51 PM
Or any dog. I am against sleepwalk killings of any dog.
Thankfully, my dog was still alive this morning.

Did you check with all your neighbors to make sure none of theirs have gone missing?
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: MakeItRain on March 06, 2023, 10:30:58 AM
https://youtu.be/TpzC62MRMGM
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: mocat on March 06, 2023, 10:43:51 AM
the pinpoint accuracy to break the leg, unreal
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: OB_Won on March 06, 2023, 12:58:43 PM
https://youtu.be/TpzC62MRMGM
Bystander Effect confirmed.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Spracne on March 06, 2023, 01:31:35 PM
The moose gets it. Always crack a knee right off the bat.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Pete on March 06, 2023, 01:45:03 PM
The moose gets it. Always crack a knee right off the bat.

Later, an older moose walked up to that moose and high fives him and said "I love you mijo."
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: mocat on March 06, 2023, 01:46:51 PM
The moose gets it. Always crack a knee right off the bat.

Unfortunately, as we have seen earlier itt, even driving a vehicle at 45 mph right through a moose has no effect on its knees/legs
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: Pete on March 06, 2023, 01:50:04 PM
The human started it by saying "I used to eff moose like you in prison," to the moose, and later at the end of the encounter the moose tore out the human's throat (but was omitted from this video).
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: schreds21 on March 06, 2023, 02:12:08 PM
God dammit people are rough ridin' stupid.
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: MakeItRain on March 06, 2023, 02:51:43 PM
The moose gets it. Always crack a knee right off the bat.

Later, an older moose walked up to that moose and high fives him and said "I love you mijo."

 :ROFL:
Title: Re: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread
Post by: DQ12 on March 06, 2023, 02:57:51 PM
you know what?  i'm just gonna come right out and say it.

that moose is a real jerk!