Author Topic: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread (Read 40368 times)

asava · « **on:** July 11, 2012, 12:05:09 PM »

on an off day i think i could easily win against any non-predatory bird. maybe not a hummingbird (too fast). most owls. definitely all penguins.

steve dave · « **Reply #1 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:05:46 PM »

an ostrich would whoop your ass with both wings tied behind it's back

steve dave · « **Reply #2 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:06:33 PM »

also an emu. your entrails would be splattered all over the ground at your feet.

steve dave · « **Reply #3 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:07:05 PM »

You could take all species of penguin on land but in the water game over man....game over

steve dave · « **Reply #4 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:08:31 PM »

I could easily beat any 5 rodents in a fight 1 on 5. This is obviously not taking into account things such as plague and hantivirus where I would later die and people would say stupid crap like, "well, looks like it was a draw afterall"

steve dave · « **Reply #5 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:10:26 PM »

a portugese man o' war would beat me in a fight. but it wouldn't really be fair, would it? the portugese man o' war is actually TWO SEPERATE animals. sd declared the winner on a technicality.

Fldermaus · « **Reply #6 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:11:07 PM »

Quote from: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:08:31 PM

I could easily beat any 5 rodents in a fight 1 on 5. This is obviously not taking into account things such as plague and hantivirus where I would later die and people would say stupid crap like, "well, looks like it was a draw afterall"

500 lbs of capybaras disagree.

asava · « **Reply #7 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:11:50 PM »

Quote from: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:05:46 PM

an ostrich would whoop your ass with both wings tied behind it's back

Quote from: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:06:33 PM

also an emu. your entrails would be splattered all over the ground at your feet.

I did not even think of these two. I would get dominated. no question. although this makes me think maybe not

concede the point on the fight of penguins in water. you're good.

steve dave · « **Reply #8 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:12:46 PM »

Quote from: Fldermaus on July 11, 2012, 12:11:07 PM

Quote from: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:08:31 PM
I could easily beat any 5 rodents in a fight 1 on 5. This is obviously not taking into account things such as plague and hantivirus where I would later die and people would say stupid crap like, "well, looks like it was a draw afterall"

500 lbs of capybaras disagree.

I could take them. absolutely I could. I've fought 4 and it was no big whoop. another one in the mix wouldn't be any prob.

Lefty · « **Reply #9 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:16:10 PM »

Anyone think they could take a kangaroo?

steve dave · « **Reply #10 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:16:29 PM »

a tiger or a lion would beat me unless it was like a little baby one and then I would just boot the crap out of it.

steve dave · « **Reply #11 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:17:01 PM »

Quote from: Lefty on July 11, 2012, 12:16:10 PM

Anyone think they could take a kangaroo?

lol no way. what am I? completely rough ridin' crazy with crazy ideas?

asava · « **Reply #12 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:17:37 PM »

Quote from: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:17:01 PM

Quote from: Lefty on July 11, 2012, 12:16:10 PM
Anyone think they could take a kangaroo?

lol no way. what am I? completely rough ridin' crazy with crazy ideas?

THIS.

steve dave · « **Reply #13 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:18:18 PM »

you will get your crap handed to you if you go toe to toe with any primate over 20 lbs. even a 20 pounder will give you troubles if you let him get behind you.

kim carnes · « **Reply #14 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:19:52 PM »

Too many to list. It would be much easier to make a list of animals I could not beat, if that tells you anything. The strategy I employ is to find the animal's weakness and then exploit it.

Lefty · « **Reply #15 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:19:58 PM »

Kangaroo's are crafty man. They lull you to sleep with their half assed leg kicks and then all of a sudden they go full boar on your ass.

slobber · « **Reply #16 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:20:23 PM »

What about an orangutan? Anyone think they can take one of them on? Oh yeah, not just any old orangutan, but one like Clyde that has been trained to throw viscous right jabs whenever somebody says, "Right turn, Clyde." In fact, it has to be Clyde. Does anyone think they can beat Clyde the orangutan?

Edit, SD already chickened out on Clyde. (He weighs more than 20 lbs.)

asava · « **Reply #17 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:21:01 PM »

Quote from: steve dave on July 11, 2012, 12:18:18 PM

you will get your crap handed to you if you go toe to toe with any primate over 20 lbs. even a 20 pounder will give you troubles if you let him get behind you.

chimp strength is messed up. Project Nim. Little chimpanzee basically rips a ladies face off. But I bet they have a glass jaw.

asava · « **Reply #18 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:21:26 PM »

Quote from: dobber on July 11, 2012, 12:20:23 PM

What about an orangutan? Anyone think they can take one of them on? Oh yeah, not just any old orangutan, but one like Clyde that has been trained to throw viscous right jabs whenever somebody says, "Right turn, Clyde." In fact, it has to be Clyde. Does anyone think they can beat Clyde the orangutan?

Dude an orangutan will orangufuckyouup.

steve dave · « **Reply #19 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:22:14 PM »

yeah, an orangutan will rip your torso off and beat you with it

asava · « **Reply #20 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:22:51 PM »

Cats. (the house variety)

Lefty · « **Reply #21 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:24:46 PM »

What if you got one weapon. A hand held weapon and nothing mechanical. Could you take a gibbon with a battle axe?

asava · « **Reply #22 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:27:33 PM »

Quote from: Lefty on July 11, 2012, 12:24:46 PM

What if you got one weapon. A hand held weapon and nothing mechanical. Could you take a gibbon with a battle axe?

Oh for sure. Would be intense, but I think if you had good enough hand eye coordination, game over.

steve dave · « **Reply #23 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:28:31 PM »

that gibbon is going to take that axe from your first thing and then you've got an axe wielding gibbon on your hands

steve dave · « **Reply #24 on:** July 11, 2012, 12:29:47 PM »

also, if you get to pick a weapon then the gibbon does too. gibbons always pick grenades and then your ass is going to be blown to crap.