Master Dating Thread

['taterblast]

 

[michigancat]

Hey guys.  Quick update.  I dumped the shitstorm of a gf I had.  I just couldn't get passed the sounds of pure poop carnage.  Every time I tried to go down to vagina town...the decimated toilet bowl remains clouded my abilities to even produce a half chub.  Plus...she was crazy and I am too old to be balls deep in crazy town.

wow that girl sounded like a real psycho

[KSUblumpkin]

Hey guys.  Quick update.  I dumped the shitstorm of a gf I had.  I just couldn't get passed the sounds of pure poop carnage.  Every time I tried to go down to vagina town...the decimated toilet bowl remains clouded my abilities to even produce a half chub.  Plus...she was crazy and I am too old to be balls deep in crazy town.

wow that girl sounded like a real psycho

Yup.  I would get texts about Coach purses and some chick named Vera Bradley.  It's Cats football season...I don't have time for those texts about purses. 

[TownieCat]

Hey guys.  Quick update.  I dumped the shitstorm of a gf I had.  I just couldn't get passed the sounds of pure poop carnage.  Every time I tried to go down to vagina town...the decimated toilet bowl remains clouded my abilities to even produce a half chub.  Plus...she was crazy and I am too old to be balls deep in crazy town.  I am enjoying the single life these days.  I've got a full box of Kleenex and skinemax.  Meet a new girl over the weekend at a local brew-ha-ha this past weekend.  She seems pretty legit though she is a effing Cyclones fan.  Nothing like rocking the poors of ISU, but she looks like she gives a mean blow jibbers so I'm thinking I should give it a go.

Congrats. It sounds like you landed on your feet in the dating world. Let's hope that this girl never poops in your house ever. 

[420seriouscat69]

We were at yardhouse yesterday at the legends and ms. wacky wanted me to go shopping with her. I told her I'd rather go to dave and busters and mess some fools up in mario cart. That's what I did. She later told me at home, that she took me out there cause she wanted to look at rings.  I really dodged a bullet you guys.  :phew:

[mocat]

yes, bullet definitely dodged

[420seriouscat69]

yes, bullet definitely dodged

[puniraptor]

tell her you already got one and to chill out

[OK_Cat]

you dodged that crap, fanman.  keep that woman on a leash, commitment is for the birds (squawks, amirite?)

[Emo EMAW]

Knock her up.

[420seriouscat69]

I just think a wedding would stress me out, you know? I'm a terrible public speaker and I hate being on display. 

[Spracne]

We were at yardhouse yesterday at the legends and ms. wacky wanted me to go shopping with her. I told her I'd rather go to dave and busters and mess some fools up in mario cart. That's what I did. She later told me at home, that she took me out there cause she wanted to look at rings.  I really dodged a bullet you guys.  :phew:

Did you run into yarddog at yardhouse?

Also, the thought of you going to D&Bs by yourself to wreck some random kids in video games is very Sandler movie-esque

[420seriouscat69]

I kicked their asses, spracs!

[Emo EMAW]

I just think a wedding would stress me out, you know? I'm a terrible public speaker and I hate being on display. 

I never spoke once at my wedding.  You literally have nothing to do except show up and say "I do."  Father of the bride/groom, best man/maid of honor, ya they talk.  You just shut the eff up and don't get too trashed.  Also yours has got to be the absolute dumbest reason I've ever heard not to get married.

[420seriouscat69]

I just think a wedding would stress me out, you know? I'm a terrible public speaker and I hate being on display. 

I never spoke once at my wedding.  You literally have nothing to do except show up and say "I do."  Father of the bride/groom, best man/maid of honor, ya they talk.  You just shut the eff up and don't get too trashed.  Also yours has got to be the absolute dumbest reason I've ever heard not to get married.

I'm only half serious, dork.

[Mrs. Gooch]

I just think a wedding would stress me out, you know? I'm a terrible public speaker and I hate being on display. 

I never spoke once at my wedding.  You literally have nothing to do except show up and say "I do."  Father of the bride/groom, best man/maid of honor, ya they talk.  You just shut the eff up and don't get too trashed.  Also yours has got to be the absolute dumbest reason I've ever heard not to get married.

Ms. Wacky will have to plan the wedding for late in the day since Wacky can't handle himself if he starts too early.

[420seriouscat69]

  It's going to have to be an early wedding cause of my alcoholism. 

[Tobias]

be very suspicious the next time you have to "help someone move"

[420seriouscat69]

be very suspicious the next time you have to "help someone move"

[Tobias]

"hey, i bought an old pew from the church for a pinterest project i'm working on.  can you help me pick it up?"

[Spracne]

"hey, i bought an old pew from the church for a pinterest project i'm working on.  can you help me pick it up?"

Nope, I'm gonna go to D&Bs and pew pew pew some little shits instead...

[mocat]

"i don't think marriage is something we should be talking about right now. can you imagine how much everyone will laugh when i am wearing a tux and dancing with you and maybe even leaning over and giving you a kiss?" 

[420seriouscat69]

"i don't think marriage is something we should be talking about right now. can you imagine how much everyone will laugh when i am wearing a tux and dancing with you and maybe even leaning over and giving you a kiss?" 

This gave me an anxiety attack just reading it. 

[Cartierfor3]

Yoshi is my favorite. Perfect balance of power/speed for mario cart.

[420seriouscat69]

Yoshi is my favorite. Perfect balance of power/speed for mario cart.

Oh man, yes! Also, at this mario cart game, you get to take a picture of yourself as Mario before you start. It's absolutely adorable.