Master Dating Thread

[kitten_mittons]

Eh, this email thing is BS, if she wanted to be with you, she would have called/text you by now, even if it wasn't about the letter.  Start working on her friends in mhk, so when she finally gets around to sending you a "I really like you, but I just want to be single right now" email, you will have already put in the groundwork and should be able to nail one of her friends.

[OK_Cat]

this whole story is feeling more and more weird and depressing

[ben ji]

this whole story is feeling more and more weird and depressing

If your looking for a feel good story things are going well with ben ji and his ex philly. 

[OK_Cat]

'grats, ben ji!   

[Dugout DickStone]

Pick a day.  If you're not together, and it sounds like you're not, you can't let her be in charge of how you feel indefinitely.  Trust me, you either learn this lesson now, or in a few weeks, or a few months, or God forbid, a year or two.

thanks dlew. i've got a day.

How on earth is she so busy?  Is she a Senator?

lol. going through stuff deciding what to take/leave behind. out of state wedding. holidays..

That is her reason?  woof

I bet she is updating her FB and stuff. 

[OK_Cat]

Pick a day.  If you're not together, and it sounds like you're not, you can't let her be in charge of how you feel indefinitely.  Trust me, you either learn this lesson now, or in a few weeks, or a few months, or God forbid, a year or two.

thanks dlew. i've got a day.

How on earth is she so busy?  Is she a Senator?

lol. going through stuff deciding what to take/leave behind. out of state wedding. holidays..

That is her reason?  woof

I bet she is updating her FB and stuff.

yeah, i really hope he isn't in as big of denial as it appears he is.

[Dugout DickStone]

Even I came up with better excuses than "I am going through stuff trying to decide what to move" when I was blowing some dame off.  And I was pretty lazy about those things.

I assume she is at her parents house, and they have email, and so does her phone.

[Mr Bread]

bro's, thanks for all the advice. you are all beautiful. here's the timeline.

a week ago today i helped her pack, gave her the letter and said goodbye. she left kc for good the next day. she doesn't move to CO until the 1st week of jan..

she's busy as crap, and will email at some point, cuz she keeps her word. i just hope it's not out of obligation.. and the longer it takes her to respond the more i'm inclined to think it's out of obligation..

we are all friends here and this is typed with honesty, caring and trust...

ask yourself this- if you were the one that was moving and she gave you a hand written letter filled with all the nice stuff that you wrote and offered to help you move then what would your response be? it sure wouldn't be "thanks but no thanks and hey i'll email you in a week." this sucks super bad and i'm sorry for you, but like dlew said- give it a couple more days and if nothing, then try to get her out of your head and move on.

I agree entirely with RD here.  I would actually take it one step further and say just drop it now.  It seems to me like this is already clearly sorted.  It sounds like she would be a crappy "the one."  If she is planning on reciprocating, then she is evidently a substantial flake.  "I'm super busy with my pre-move and I can't be bothered with e-mail in today's day and age. It's gonna rough ridin' take weeks I tell ya."  wut?  I'm postive you could do better j-dub, and I really mean that. 

[Stevesie60]

As someone who knows the details to j-dub's story, I can promise that this girl is not trying to blow off j-dub. Although based on what he has posted in this thread, it definitely seems that way.

[mocat]

It always seems painfully obvious to the objective 3rd partiers. Always.

[DQ12]

It always seems painfully obvious to the objective 3rd partiers. Always.

Sometimes you've gotta learn hard lessons on your own.

[Stevesie60]

It always seems painfully obvious to the objective 3rd partiers. Always.

He's not describing the situation very well on here.

[Scary Smart]

Haven't read much of this thread until recently, but j-dub's story has me hooked. To echo other people's opinions, you should probably cut your losses pretty soon if this keeps up.

[j-dub]

It always seems painfully obvious to the objective 3rd partiers. Always.

He's not describing the situation very well on here.

yeah. in an effort to stay somewhat vague, it sounds worse than it is.. though, i will say, many of you have given pretty great advice and i am taking it into account.

[j-dub]

'grats, ben ji!   

 

[Kat Kid]

As someone who knows the details to j-dub's story, I can promise that this girl is not trying to blow off j-dub. Although based on what he has posted in this thread, it definitely seems that way.

enabler.

[CNS]

Mittens' idea about friend work is a great one.  Should def think about that.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2

[kitten_mittons]

As someone who knows the details to j-dub's story, I can promise that this girl is not trying to blow off j-dub. Although based on what he has posted in this thread, it definitely seems that way.

Do you know why it is taking her days (weeks?) to send an email? I can sometimes put off work emails for days, but I don't care if those people hate me or not.

[Willesgirl]

J-dub, you deserve a nice lady friend. I hope she's worth all this angst, because it sure sounds like she's blowing you off.

[Cartierfor3]

As someone who knows the details to j-dub's story, I can promise that this girl is not trying to blow off j-dub. Although based on what he has posted in this thread, it definitely seems that way.

Do you know why it is taking her days (weeks?) to send an email? I can sometimes put off work emails for days, but I don't care if those people hate me or not.

She's scared of becoming too attached before she has to move away.  She's trying to maintain a safe (in her mind at least) barrier between her and J-Dub because she's afraid of the long distance thing, even though J-Dub is cool with it. 

That's my opinion at least. 

[420seriouscat69]

If she continues to distance herself through non-communication, you're going to have to reach out/confront her, for clarity in your brain. I wish you the best of luck in your adventure, if that doesn't work, a two week bender seems to do the trick. We can belly up together at "the well" and tell our sob stories. Either way, you win!

[nicname]

My advice to j dub?  Forget about it. Accept and expect the worst in this case (which is basically no response or "I like you, but"), which isn't really that bad.  If something positive happens then you can count it as some major gravy. 

[0.42]

If she continues to distance herself through non-communication, you're going to have to reach out/confront her

Yeah, no. Don't be that guy who "needs" closure. Create the closure yourself and move on after d-day passes. If she surprises you later and says she wants you and you're still available, you can still go for it without having sat there wondering if she'd ever get back to you.

[Kat Kid]

Pretty sure NYE is a great night to go in ready to party as a single guy with a sob story (keep it short).

[DQ12]

Pretty sure NYE is a great night to go in ready to party as a single guy with a sob story (keep it short).

great advice kk.