Thanks guys. I know it may not look like it on it's face, but this was a successful trip.
1) I had found a place with animals, including trophy animals, with almost no other hunting pressure, and a relatively short pack-in (2ish miles and 1500ft elevation is cake compared to wilderness hunts). I think we made our pack out in less than 3 hours. I also think we could do it in the dark if we had to. I can buy this tag any year I want, I don't have to draw one. Also, there is water in an otherwise high-desert type environment. That's crucial. You don't want to expend all this effort just to drink.
2) I successfully called in two bulls, and got to full draw twice.
3) We were in to animals almost every day.
It's really painful for me to invest all this effort in preparation and not kill something. So many nights I was at the gym grinding while my wife and kid slept. Or I was up late looking at Google Earth trying to find places to go. Or I was on the phone with everyone from the game warden to outfitters to biologists to asst director of roads folks. It's a big time and especially emotional investment. This was my year. And now I have to stew over some things I might now do differently. Add to it this is time away from my family. When we packed out I called home (from the high spot where I got service) and my wife told me my 2 y/o son kept saying "daddy come home." That kills me that I would willfully choose to be away from them and not achieve my goal. I failed them in that respect. I know I could have hunted harder, gotten up earlier, stayed out later, bullied my partner into doing it my way, etc etc. The only thing I know to do is to re-double my efforts and try again next year, and hopefully with my additional knowledge and experience I can get it done. I will punish myself over the next year so that I am totally ready. This is my vow.