Author Topic: Welcome BYU!  (Read 50397 times)

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Offline john "teach me how to" dougie

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #150 on: September 09, 2011, 12:45:00 PM »

Offline SoCalCoug

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #151 on: September 09, 2011, 12:48:02 PM »
I effing hate BYU.  Eff those guys.  Eff Mormons, too.  Eff your missionary trips and your cookies and your judgement of people not like you.

Don't hold your feelings in.  Let us know the pain you're feeling.  Don't hold back.

Offline Emo EMAW

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #152 on: September 09, 2011, 12:54:31 PM »
I effing hate BYU.  Eff those guys.  Eff Mormons, too.  Eff your missionary trips and your cookies and your judgement of people not like you.

Don't hold your feelings in.  Let us know the pain you're feeling.  Don't hold back.

This is exactly the stuff I hate right here!  :chainsaw: :curse:

Offline chum1

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #153 on: September 09, 2011, 12:56:35 PM »
i don't know the story with the cookies, but i can't imaine a reason to hate cookies.

Offline Emo EMAW

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #154 on: September 09, 2011, 01:00:56 PM »
i don't know the story with the cookies, but i can't imaine a reason to hate cookies.

Oh, I'll clarify.  I hate Mormon cookies.  Love me some regular Christian cookies, though.

Offline SoCalCoug

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #155 on: September 09, 2011, 01:09:08 PM »
i don't know the story with the cookies, but i can't imaine a reason to hate cookies.

Oh, I'll clarify.  I hate Mormon cookies.  Love me some regular Christian cookies, though.


Offline Emo EMAW

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #156 on: September 09, 2011, 01:23:04 PM »
i don't know the story with the cookies, but i can't imaine a reason to hate cookies.

Oh, I'll clarify.  I hate Mormon cookies.  Love me some regular Christian cookies, though.



Oh eff you.

Offline Dugout DickStone

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #157 on: September 09, 2011, 01:37:53 PM »
Forcing chicks is not scoring chicks.

Otherwise, sherron Collins would be a real pimp.

An excellent point that was routinely discussed in law school.  It's now a standard bullet item when I warn my gentile friends about the dangers of alcohol and using it to soften up a ladyfriend for semi-consensual but unsanctioned premarital sex.

Good!  I like your pro-active approach.  You are "ahead of the curve" as they say in my business (curve manufacturing).

Now, what do you tell them about forcing 12-14 year old girls into marrying much older men, then forcing them to have sex with men they did not (could not) choose to be with?  I can help you incorporate some information into your bullet points on this issue if need be.

Offline CNS

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #158 on: September 09, 2011, 02:18:28 PM »
Hey, guys, another BYU fan here.

1.  What the hell is an Emaw?  (can I say hell here?)
2.  I just picked up my magic underwear from the floor because I just got laid by wife #2 (can I say laid here?)
3.  I don't hate black people, although my wife's ex-boyfriend is black, and she didn't go back  :pbj:
4.  BYU fans aren't all dorks (no offense, Nikuman)
5.  I'm not homophobic - in fact, my brother is a gay model married to a guy and I haven't even disowned him.
6.  BYU's going to kick some Longhorn ass on Saturday.
7.  Are you guys the ones that are good in basketball?

I love the mormon fans who pretend they don't hate black people.  They are my absolute favorites. 

If there were any that would pretend Joseph Smith wasn't kind of a twerp who had a hard time scoring chicks, I'd like them equal if not better.  Haven't met one of them yet.

Well, at the very least, black people are waaaay down my list of things I hate:

1.  Beets
2.  Rednecks
3.  Ute football fans
4.  Celtics
5.  Yankees
6.  Barry Switzer
7.  Glenn Beck
8.  Traffic
9.  Chick flicks
10.  Body odor



My gosh(you're welcome), look at #2 and #10.  You realize your new confy mates are midwesterners, right?

Offline nikuman

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #159 on: September 09, 2011, 02:20:12 PM »
Forcing chicks is not scoring chicks.

Otherwise, sherron Collins would be a real pimp.

An excellent point that was routinely discussed in law school.  It's now a standard bullet item when I warn my gentile friends about the dangers of alcohol and using it to soften up a ladyfriend for semi-consensual but unsanctioned premarital sex.

Good!  I like your pro-active approach.  You are "ahead of the curve" as they say in my business (curve manufacturing).

Now, what do you tell them about forcing 12-14 year old girls into marrying much older men, then forcing them to have sex with men they did not (could not) choose to be with?  I can help you incorporate some information into your bullet points on this issue if need be.

Well, see, here's the real rub with that:  I don't actually know any of the forced child rapist people.  There's a couple of reasons for that:

1.  My own (and only) wife was of an age that would have permitted her to drink and gamble in any of our fine states when we got married.  You know, assuming she was into that sort of thing.  Not only that, I easily passed the "half your age plus seven rule."  So it's a bit outside of my experience.

2.  Back in the day, there wasn't a whole lot of illegal forcing going on (recall that rape couldn't be committed against a wife in most states, though, and of course there's the whole "is she a wife if it's bigamy" deal).  Anyway, they pretty much got married like anybody else, only they did it again, and again, and again.  Some of the women were too young (economics of supply and demand in a society where women are semi-chattelized?) and I'm sure there was a lot of the "get married to me or go to hell" bit but our notorious namesake ZZ Top polygamist prophet Brigham Young had a whole bunch of reputedly amicable divorces to go along with those wives.  Not sure it was 47, but it was more than one.  

The crazy forcing thing really started back at the turn of the century (this would be the 19th-20th, not 20th-21st) when a bunch of crazies decided we weren't hardcore enough and broke off.  There's a whole lot of politics and murder and bombs and plural wives acting as spies (no, really!) but it came down to a bunch of people moving to the AZ-UT border to rape their womenfolk in peace.  They have since moved to Texas, mostly, so they're a Big 12 problem now.  Well, maybe C-USA or whatever since they're sort of close to El Paso.

Offline Emo EMAW

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #160 on: September 09, 2011, 02:22:28 PM »
Forcing chicks is not scoring chicks.

Otherwise, sherron Collins would be a real pimp.

An excellent point that was routinely discussed in law school.  It's now a standard bullet item when I warn my gentile friends about the dangers of alcohol and using it to soften up a ladyfriend for semi-consensual but unsanctioned premarital sex.

Good!  I like your pro-active approach.  You are "ahead of the curve" as they say in my business (curve manufacturing).

Now, what do you tell them about forcing 12-14 year old girls into marrying much older men, then forcing them to have sex with men they did not (could not) choose to be with?  I can help you incorporate some information into your bullet points on this issue if need be.

Well, see, here's the real rub with that:  I don't actually know any of the forced child rapist people.  There's a couple of reasons for that:

1.  My own (and only) wife was of an age that would have permitted her to drink and gamble in any of our fine states when we got married.  You know, assuming she was into that sort of thing.  Not only that, I easily passed the "half your age plus seven rule."  So it's a bit outside of my experience.

2.  Back in the day, there wasn't a whole lot of illegal forcing going on (recall that rape couldn't be committed against a wife in most states, though, and of course there's the whole "is she a wife if it's bigamy" deal).  Anyway, they pretty much got married like anybody else, only they did it again, and again, and again.  Some of the women were too young (economics of supply and demand in a society where women are semi-chattelized?) and I'm sure there was a lot of the "get married to me or go to hell" bit but our notorious namesake ZZ Top polygamist prophet Brigham Young had a whole bunch of reputedly amicable divorces to go along with those wives.  Not sure it was 47, but it was more than one.  

The crazy forcing thing really started back at the turn of the century (this would be the 19th-20th, not 20th-21st) when a bunch of crazies decided we weren't hardcore enough and broke off.  There's a whole lot of politics and murder and bombs and plural wives acting as spies (no, really!) but it came down to a bunch of people moving to the AZ-UT border to rape their womenfolk in peace.  They have since moved to Texas, mostly, so they're a Big 12 problem now.  Well, maybe C-USA or whatever since they're sort of close to El Paso.

Would make a great book or Hollywood motion picture.

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #161 on: September 09, 2011, 02:25:36 PM »
"Thunder" Dan Majerle tried to choke me out at Lucky's when I told him that the highlight of his career was getting to play with Danny Ainge.

Offline SwiftCat

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #162 on: September 09, 2011, 02:26:23 PM »
Hey BYU, when the Big XII - III falls apart, you should  try to join whatever conference we join. Thanks.

Offline doom

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #163 on: September 09, 2011, 02:27:52 PM »
Forcing chicks is not scoring chicks.

Otherwise, sherron Collins would be a real pimp.

An excellent point that was routinely discussed in law school.  It's now a standard bullet item when I warn my gentile friends about the dangers of alcohol and using it to soften up a ladyfriend for semi-consensual but unsanctioned premarital sex.

Good!  I like your pro-active approach.  You are "ahead of the curve" as they say in my business (curve manufacturing).

Now, what do you tell them about forcing 12-14 year old girls into marrying much older men, then forcing them to have sex with men they did not (could not) choose to be with?  I can help you incorporate some information into your bullet points on this issue if need be.

Well, see, here's the real rub with that:  I don't actually know any of the forced child rapist people.  There's a couple of reasons for that:

1.  My own (and only) wife was of an age that would have permitted her to drink and gamble in any of our fine states when we got married.  You know, assuming she was into that sort of thing.  Not only that, I easily passed the "half your age plus seven rule."  So it's a bit outside of my experience.

2.  Back in the day, there wasn't a whole lot of illegal forcing going on (recall that rape couldn't be committed against a wife in most states, though, and of course there's the whole "is she a wife if it's bigamy" deal).  Anyway, they pretty much got married like anybody else, only they did it again, and again, and again.  Some of the women were too young (economics of supply and demand in a society where women are semi-chattelized?) and I'm sure there was a lot of the "get married to me or go to hell" bit but our notorious namesake ZZ Top polygamist prophet Brigham Young had a whole bunch of reputedly amicable divorces to go along with those wives.  Not sure it was 47, but it was more than one.  

The crazy forcing thing really started back at the turn of the century (this would be the 19th-20th, not 20th-21st) when a bunch of crazies decided we weren't hardcore enough and broke off.  There's a whole lot of politics and murder and bombs and plural wives acting as spies (no, really!) but it came down to a bunch of people moving to the AZ-UT border to rape their womenfolk in peace.  They have since moved to Texas, mostly, so they're a Big 12 problem now.  Well, maybe C-USA or whatever since they're sort of close to El Paso.

 :sdeek:  the decoder ring never lies!
“They said something along the lines of ‘it kind of sounds like you’d be interested in it.’ And I said ‘hell yeah I am. Why not?’” -Doug Gottlieb

Offline SoCalCoug

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #164 on: September 09, 2011, 03:46:22 PM »
Hey, guys, another BYU fan here.

1.  What the hell is an Emaw?  (can I say hell here?)
2.  I just picked up my magic underwear from the floor because I just got laid by wife #2 (can I say laid here?)
3.  I don't hate black people, although my wife's ex-boyfriend is black, and she didn't go back  :pbj:
4.  BYU fans aren't all dorks (no offense, Nikuman)
5.  I'm not homophobic - in fact, my brother is a gay model married to a guy and I haven't even disowned him.
6.  BYU's going to kick some Longhorn ass on Saturday.
7.  Are you guys the ones that are good in basketball?

I love the mormon fans who pretend they don't hate black people.  They are my absolute favorites. 

If there were any that would pretend Joseph Smith wasn't kind of a twerp who had a hard time scoring chicks, I'd like them equal if not better.  Haven't met one of them yet.

Well, at the very least, black people are waaaay down my list of things I hate:

1.  Beets
2.  Rednecks
3.  Ute football fans
4.  Celtics
5.  Yankees
6.  Barry Switzer
7.  Glenn Beck
8.  Traffic
9.  Chick flicks
10.  Body odor



My gosh(you're welcome), look at #2 and #10.  You realize your new confy mates are midwesterners, right?

Are you trying to say all midwesterners are foul-smelling rednecks?  I certainly had Missouri (and Riverside County, California) rednecks in mind.  I would never sully the name of the good midwesterners.  Except those Missourians who ran the Mormons out of their state 175 years ago.

Offline wabash909

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #165 on: September 09, 2011, 03:49:57 PM »
Hey, guys, another BYU fan here.

1.  What the hell is an Emaw?  (can I say hell here?)
2.  I just picked up my magic underwear from the floor because I just got laid by wife #2 (can I say laid here?)
3.  I don't hate black people, although my wife's ex-boyfriend is black, and she didn't go back  :pbj:
4.  BYU fans aren't all dorks (no offense, Nikuman)
5.  I'm not homophobic - in fact, my brother is a gay model married to a guy and I haven't even disowned him.
6.  BYU's going to kick some Longhorn ass on Saturday.
7.  Are you guys the ones that are good in basketball?

I love the mormon fans who pretend they don't hate black people.  They are my absolute favorites. 

If there were any that would pretend Joseph Smith wasn't kind of a twerp who had a hard time scoring chicks, I'd like them equal if not better.  Haven't met one of them yet.

Well, at the very least, black people are waaaay down my list of things I hate:

1.  Beets
2.  Rednecks
3.  Ute football fans
4.  Celtics
5.  Yankees
6.  Barry Switzer
7.  Glenn Beck
8.  Traffic
9.  Chick flicks
10.  Body odor



My gosh(you're welcome), look at #2 and #10.  You realize your new confy mates are midwesterners, right?

Are you trying to say all midwesterners are foul-smelling rednecks?  I certainly had Missouri (and Riverside County, California) rednecks in mind.  I would never sully the name of the good midwesterners.  Except those Missourians who ran the Mormons out of their state 175 years ago.


Can't wait for the Cougz to join the conference!  Congrats again on joining the Big XII.




Texas Christian University coach Gary Patterson has been hired as Kansas State's 34th football coach, multiple sources have confirmed to GoPowercat.com.  Patterson replaces Ron Prince, who was fired Wednesday. - Tim Fitzgerald   Nov, 7, 2008

Offline wes mantooth

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #166 on: September 09, 2011, 04:43:15 PM »
I'd also like to welcome you BYU Fighting Mormons to the BIG XII.  You mormon folk are just so delightful, that I, Wesley J. Mantooth, am starting to wonder if I am not also mormon?  :dunno:

Offline Brock Landers

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #167 on: September 09, 2011, 04:55:16 PM »
"Thunder" Dan Majerle tried to choke me out at Lucky's when I told him that the highlight of his career was getting to play with Danny Ainge.


Is this the same choke out technique you use today or have you developed your own?

Offline Tobias

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #168 on: September 09, 2011, 06:09:32 PM »
Well, at the very least, black people are waaaay down my list of things I hate:

1.  Beets
2.  Rednecks
3.  Ute football fans
4.  Celtics
5.  Yankees
6.  Barry Switzer
7.  Glenn Beck
8.  Traffic
9.  Chick flicks
10.  Body odor

socalcoug, could you please explain what is going on below (and to the left of your posts)?  is this one of your lovely wives? :thumbs:


Offline SoCalCoug

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #169 on: September 09, 2011, 07:08:12 PM »
Well, at the very least, black people are waaaay down my list of things I hate:

1.  Beets
2.  Rednecks
3.  Ute football fans
4.  Celtics
5.  Yankees
6.  Barry Switzer
7.  Glenn Beck
8.  Traffic
9.  Chick flicks
10.  Body odor

socalcoug, could you please explain what is going on below (and to the left of your posts)?  is this one of your lovely wives? :thumbs:



With the snow covering up the "!" in the Yahoo! logo, and with the angle of her hat, it appears at first glance to look like a BYU oval-Y logo.  Considering the dress and grooming standards at BYU, we don't get a lot of these kinds of pictures out of our coeds, so we have to make do.

No, she's not one of my wives, if my wife were to dress like her, and position herself similarly, there would be a certain resemblance.

Offline chum1

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #170 on: September 09, 2011, 07:28:46 PM »
god damn.  i'm getting ldsbookstore ads now.  i guess it's at least a break from briggs' vomit ads.

Offline yoga-like_abana

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #171 on: September 09, 2011, 07:46:40 PM »
god damn.  i'm getting ldsbookstore ads now.  i guess it's at least a break from briggs' vomit ads.
-500 ahearn points

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #172 on: September 09, 2011, 08:21:00 PM »
"Thunder" Dan Majerle tried to choke me out at Lucky's when I told him that the highlight of his career was getting to play with Danny Ainge.


Is this the same choke out technique you use today or have you developed your own?

I learned it from you, Thunder Dan!  I learned it from you!

Offline CNS

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #173 on: September 10, 2011, 05:41:34 PM »
Quote
greggdoyelcbs Gregg Doyel
That was not a joke. I'm not that funny.
2 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply
»
Gregg Doyel
greggdoyelcbs Gregg Doyel
Actual BYU game note: "Currently six BYU players are fathers, led by senior WR Spencer Hafoka with two children"

If this was on a non-mormany team, the NC would be within reach.

Offline HeinBallz

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Re: Welcome BYU!
« Reply #174 on: September 10, 2011, 07:25:02 PM »
Lotta white boys handing it to Texas right now. 
Good is better than Evil because it's nicer.