jobs

[ChiComCat]

Stay above the drama and corporate kissassing. There are lots more idiots in the office than not.

I liked these.  People will try to create drama just like kids in school.  It's pretty easily avoidable in most cases.

[420seriouscat69]

Do not question the companies intentions when it starts to sink. Especially when they hire a dime store for a hooker as their new HR Manager. 

[meow meow]

my advice....take seriouscat69's advice and no one elses

[pissclams]

the best guidance can be found in the hilarious things at your office thread

[Kat Kid]

Just a quick FYI for your information:  Just switched careers after 11 years in the teaching biz.  Sucks having to work in the summer but it's amazing not being in charge of 150 dumbass kids the entire day.  Any pro-tips about working in an office are appreciated.

You hate to see it.

[catastrophe]

Go out and crush it in your first few months to a year so everyone is like “hey this guy is a really good employee” and then coast on your reputation from then on, doing just enough not to get fired.

This strategy 100% works.

[wetwillie]

Just a quick FYI for your information:  Just switched careers after 11 years in the teaching biz.  Sucks having to work in the summer but it's amazing not being in charge of 150 dumbass kids the entire day.  Any pro-tips about working in an office are appreciated.

You hate to see it.

It’s a tragedy really. 

[ben ji]

Go out and crush it in your first few months to a year so everyone is like “hey this guy is a really good employee” and then coast on your reputation from then on, doing just enough not to get fired.

This strategy 100% works.

This is correct, also dress slightly above whatever your dress code is when you first start. First impressions last a long time.

When I started at a new job a couple of years ago the person I was working with/ training me wore slacks/dress shirt to the office every day while most employees wore jean/khaki's and a polo.

My first impression was "Wow, this guy knows his stuff". After working there a couple of months I realized this guy was terrible at his job and didn't know anything.

[ben ji]

Don't talk crap about your co-workers to other co-workers.

HR is there to protect the company and not you.

Ask for a raise every chance you can but make sure you have developed your argument on why you deserve the raise.

Go to outside of work company events like Happy HR etc to help build relationships with your co-workers.

[steve dave]

some of this probably applied to teaching as well as general office environment so disregard if so:

- after you've spent enough time there to figure out who the most respected and highest ceiling people are in positions at least two levels above yours pick out the best candidate and ask them to mentor you. in the opening discussion find out how much time they could invest (like 1 hour every two weeks or a month or whatever) and set a meeting for those times and come prepared for that meeting with questions and seeking advice (even if you don't have anything you need come with open ended questions and let them talk). You can also ask to be involved in projects they are working on. you'll a) learn a lot and b) attach yourself to their coat tails to get a piece of their rise through the company.

- you'll eventually have a ton of time to goof off and message board and just waste away. doing some of that is good but use a lot of that time to develop yourself. get a designation, take a class, take on additional work, volunteer for projects, whatever. again, multiple things here, you'll a) learn a lot and b) make people see you have drive.

- ask a lot of questions. don't "fake it till you make it" because you'll take some black eyes. also it shows you are really paying attention. BUT, when you are told to do something do it to the best of your knowledge and THEN ask if you did it correctly. be a self starter and all that.

- agree on dress above requirements (but don't go nuts), agree on attending all after work stuff you are able to.

- if there is a society in the space your company is in join it and be relatively active in the society.

[420seriouscat69]

Don't be friends with these people on social media. They're not your friends. Most of them would eat their own to get a head of you.

[star seed 7]

I fail so hard on the work events stuff and know it probably holds me back some but I just can't stand that crap.

[pissclams]

some of this probably applied to teaching as well as general office environment so disregard if so:

- after you've spent enough time there to figure out who the most respected and highest ceiling people are in positions at least two levels above yours pick out the best candidate and ask them to mentor you. in the opening discussion find out how much time they could invest (like 1 hour every two weeks or a month or whatever) and set a meeting for those times and come prepared for that meeting with questions and seeking advice (even if you don't have anything you need come with open ended questions and let them talk). You can also ask to be involved in projects they are working on. you'll a) learn a lot and b) attach yourself to their coat tails to get a piece of their rise through the company.

- you'll eventually have a ton of time to goof off and message board and just waste away. doing some of that is good but use a lot of that time to develop yourself. get a designation, take a class, take on additional work, volunteer for projects, whatever. again, multiple things here, you'll a) learn a lot and b) make people see you have drive.

- ask a lot of questions. don't "fake it till you make it" because you'll take some black eyes. also it shows you are really paying attention. BUT, when you are told to do something do it to the best of your knowledge and THEN ask if you did it correctly. be a self starter and all that.

- agree on dress above requirements (but don't go nuts), agree on attending all after work stuff you are able to.

- if there is a society in the space your company is in join it and be relatively active in the society.

omg hai warren buffet.   


srs tho catdude_33 don't do anything sd said to do because honestly i think he made the stuff up.  just go to work and have a good time, that's what life is all about.

[ChiComCat]

Coworkers love it when you say "working hard or hardly working?"

[pissclams]

always say, "livin' the dream" when people at your office ask you how it's going

[420seriouscat69]

always say, "livin' the dream" when people at your office ask you how it's going

Great water cooler talk

[kslim]

another day, another dollar

thats my go to

[ChiComCat]

Find a female coworker to refer to as "trouble"

[ben ji]

Don't be friends with these people on social media. They're not your friends. Most of them would eat their own to get a head of you.

I'm buds with alot of my coworkers on social media and "Like" pictures of their kids and ask them how the activity their kid was participating in went. You know, normal stuff.

Just don't post anything on social media yourself and you are good to go.

[meow meow]

like i said, only listen to seriouscat69's advice

[DaBigTrain]

I’ve got a Canadian friend and he said the trick is kick someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's bitch.

[catastrophe]

Only take SD’s advice if you want to be a big shot some day.

I really can’t oversell the coasting lifestyle enough though.

[eastcat]

always say, "livin' the dream" when people at your office ask you how it's going

I just say "well, I'm here."

[chum1]

I loled the first time I heard "living the dream." Then, I heard it like a thousand more times right after that.

[kslim]

I loled the first time I heard "living the dream." Then, I heard it like a thousand more times right after that.

i always come back with "somebody elses'" it usually gets a chuckle