If a horse steps on your foot, you should legally be allowed to punch it right in the face IMO. Or whack it with a 5-foot inflatable penis (btw, I love that someone apparently measured the penis like it was in a lineup standing in front of one of those walls with the heights marked and someones like "oh yeah thats him the five-footer over there." Or, that they asked a witness to estimate: "how long would you say the penis was, mam?" "well, I didn't get a very good look. It was dark you know, and we'd all been drinking. But I'd say at least five feet.")
Also, judging by the irrational police response, it was obviously an ethnic penis.