Hey guys who buy crap for work!

[Asteriskhead]

The layers aren't working.

"Hey, is pmshead there?

"Yeah sure, let me transfer you"

VM tho, will send him an email with "RE: " as the subject and report back on its effectiveness

I saw that email in my inbox while cooking dinner tonight, I smiled knowing that you had probably just caught on this thread right beforehand. I'll get back to you tomorrow.

[MakeItRain]

If any of you accidently open a sales email, post it here. I'd be curious to see how good or bad they are.

Thanks in advance.


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Hi You,

Just want to say that, as a former educator, I’m a big fan of <REDACTED>. I know the school year is almost over but you still haven’t tried out Kaymbu! So - I wanted to offer you an iPad. Take us for a free test run this summer, no strings attached. I’m sure you’ll love it!

What do you have to lose? All you need to do is tell me where to send your iPad!
 
Cheers,
David

He purchased my email address but still thought it was a good idea to go with "Hi you"

[Institutional Control]

Wow, a free iPad. At HP someone would have to show up for a webinar or a class to be registered to win a crappy HP tablet.


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[Institutional Control]

David was pretty lazy.


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[slobber]

'Hey you' would have been so much better.


Royals aren't gonna win 'em all

[420seriouscat69]

We purchase doctor lists from time to time. I've perfected an email that gets a lot of action as well. I can't imagine starting with a "Hi you!" to grabs someones attention.

[OK_Cat]

I'd rather shitty salesmen were honest with me, and skip the 'how are you, blah blah blah.' Just tell me how much it costs and what it does.

[ChiComCat]

Using "just" to weaken your statement off the bat is a poor ass sales technique too.

[mocat]

hi you (guys), late to this thread. i have never once heard someone describe IT people as "shitty", the way that everyone describes sales people (shitty). i mean have you ever seen silicon valley? IT guys are the heroes and the sales people crap all over everything and are shitty people. now waiting tables (completely unrelated in every single imaginable way to being a shitty sales person) is a great service industry job where you serve people. any waiter/waitress will tell you the shittiest customers are usually shitty sales people on some shitty power lunch trying to lock down some shitty sale. just like slipknot said "sales people equal crap"

[The Big Train]

<---- IT people

[Institutional Control]

Silicon Valley's portrayal of software sales people was dead on.


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[Kat Kid]

Next kid that comes to my house, I am going to buy whatever they are selling for the next house they visit.  Start one of those stupid starbucks lines and force everyone in the neighborhood to donate or be a dick.

The Manhattan Catholic School has a brilliant fundraiser where they will bring and then remove an American flag to your front yard for the 4th of July, Flag Day and Memorial Day.  It costs like $50/yr and if you have a family with kids that go to the Catholic school on your block/ cul de sac, woe be to you that doesn't have their rough ridin' flag. 

[ben ji]

The layers aren't working.

"Hey, is pmshead there?

"Yeah sure, let me transfer you"

VM tho, will send him an email with "RE: " as the subject and report back on its effectiveness

I saw that email in my inbox while cooking dinner tonight, I smiled knowing that you had probably just caught on this thread right beforehand. I'll get back to you tomorrow.

Wow guyz, PMShead just bought 1,000 widgets from me.   

THAT is how you sell!

[ChiComCat]

Next kid that comes to my house, I am going to buy whatever they are selling for the next house they visit.  Start one of those stupid starbucks lines and force everyone in the neighborhood to donate or be a dick.

The Manhattan Catholic School has a brilliant fundraiser where they will bring and then remove an American flag to your front yard for the 4th of July, Flag Day and Memorial Day.  It costs like $50/yr and if you have a family with kids that go to the Catholic school on your block/ cul de sac, woe be to you that doesn't have their rough ridin' flag. 

Genius

[star seed 7]

That's a pretty cool fundraiser. I would buy that

[Asteriskhead]

The layers aren't working.

"Hey, is pmshead there?

"Yeah sure, let me transfer you"

VM tho, will send him an email with "RE: " as the subject and report back on its effectiveness

I saw that email in my inbox while cooking dinner tonight, I smiled knowing that you had probably just caught on this thread right beforehand. I'll get back to you tomorrow.

Wow guyz, PMShead just bought 1,000 widgets from me.   

THAT is how you sell!

They're the best widgets you can buy. Believe me, the absolute best.

[Gooch]

I usually buy stuff from kids I know but not from cold caller kids, except that one time with the cookie dough. I learned my lesson there.

Those were the next door neighbors kids. Also makes them leaving it on the porch even more deplorable.

[Institutional Control]

Next kid that comes to my house, I am going to buy whatever they are selling for the next house they visit.  Start one of those stupid starbucks lines and force everyone in the neighborhood to donate or be a dick.

The Manhattan Catholic School has a brilliant fundraiser where they will bring and then remove an American flag to your front yard for the 4th of July, Flag Day and Memorial Day.  It costs like $50/yr and if you have a family with kids that go to the Catholic school on your block/ cul de sac, woe be to you that doesn't have their rough ridin' flag.

The Rotary club here does the same thing. I had no idea today was flag day until this morning I walked out to get in my truck and there was a flag in my yard.


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[Mrs. Gooch]

Now the software sales guy is going to be in Wichita and would like to schedule something with me.

No, annoying software sales guy, I do not want to meet with you so that you can give me a boring presentation about your software that I already know.

[The Big Train]

But a free trial if you listen to my offer tho

[star seed 7]

Now the software sales guy is going to be in Wichita and would like to schedule something with me.

No, annoying software sales guy, I do not want to meet with you so that you can give me a boring presentation about your software that I already know.

#zapped

[Institutional Control]

Now the software sales guy is going to be in Wichita and would like to schedule something with me.

No, annoying software sales guy, I do not want to meet with you so that you can give me a boring presentation about your software that I already know.

My demos are not boring at all.


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[Mrs. Gooch]

Hi "Mrs. Gooch",

Was there any feedback from upper management on "software" pricing and whether that fit into the budget? Or was the pricing provided to help with an upcoming project that "your company" plans to include the software into the budget?

All the best,

"Annoying Sales Guy"

OK, I get it. You are desperate to sell some software.

[Institutional Control]

Hey guys who occasionally open emails, would a funny or self deprecating email make you more likely to respond?

Here's the message I'm going with today. Any feedback would be good.  (This is f/u to an email that was sent last week and didn't get a response).

Saulbadguy,
Do you and your team spend too much time putting out fires in your SAN network?
I can help get that time back for other things like deleting unsolicited emails from annoying sales guys.
Batt BcKee

[michigancat]

Hey guys who occasionally open emails, would a funny or self deprecating email make you more likely to respond?

Here's the message I'm going with today. Any feedback would be good.  (This is f/u to an email that was sent last week and didn't get a response).

Saulbadguy,
Do you and your team spend too much time putting out fires in your SAN network?
I can help get that time back for other things like deleting unsolicited emails from annoying sales guys.
Batt BcKee

nope. Probably make me less likely. Just have a good product and check in from time to time like a normal grown up.