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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 10:00:32 AM

Title: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 10:00:32 AM
I spend most of my day reaching out to people trying to sell them crap.  I have leads where people have been to our website, visited our booth at a trade show or just generally shown some interest in our product to the extent that they’ve given my company their contact info.   Reaching out to those people is pretty simple. They tend to reply to emails, pick up their phone when you call and/or accept a meeting with me.

Obviously it would be best if all business could be done that way but getting the word out about our product via marketing can be expensive and not always effective.  As a result, we do a pretty fair amount of cold calling and emailing to make connections.  More and more people I speak to have become increasing irritated by unsolicited calls/emails.

My questions to those of you who routinely or even occasionally purchase products and services for your company are:
Do you ever pick up your phone when you see it’s from a vendor or a number you don’t recognize?
Has anyone ever left you a sales pitch on a voicemail that motivated you to call them back?
Have you ever purchased anything for the company that began by someone cold calling/cold emailing you?
Do you open emails from people that are obviously trying to sell you something?
If so, do you ever respond?
Do you accept LinkedIn connection requests from people you don’t know?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: steve dave on June 07, 2016, 10:04:56 AM
no to all of the above
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Asteriskhead on June 07, 2016, 10:06:25 AM
no to all of the above
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Trim on June 07, 2016, 10:08:37 AM
It's too bad that if you had a question like "given the title, did you even open this thread?" that all the responses would necessarily have to be yes.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 07, 2016, 10:11:10 AM
I receive and reach out to/connect a lot of candidates on LinkedIn. Trade shows, i'm usually the one they contact with afterwards because my CEO and COO tell them i'm the manager of said product. I forward on any emails/voicemails to them, which I know they never listen to.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: meow meow on June 07, 2016, 10:12:13 AM
No to all of the above, except on LinkedIn, i'll sometimes accept a request if it's someone in my industry that has connections with people I work with. 

Speaking of cold calls, I've had the same recruiter call my work phone the last 3 weeks, probably at least 3 times a week, wanting to meet up with me, introduce herself, yadda yadda.  First time she left a voicemail.  Every other time I hit decline when the call comes up on my computer.  She's not getting the hint, I've never answered and never called back.  Give it up.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Testy Westy on June 07, 2016, 10:13:12 AM
Is there a way to mark a thread as spam like I do Batt BcKee's emails?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Emo EMAW on June 07, 2016, 10:15:35 AM
Is there a way to mark a thread as spam like I do Batt BcKee's emails?

 :lol:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 10:18:55 AM
Is there a way to mark a thread as spam like I do Batt BcKee's emails?

Just reply "UNSUBSCRIBE!!!"
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 10:19:29 AM
or "REMOVE ME FROM YOUR LIST"

message must be in all caps.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: DQ12 on June 07, 2016, 10:23:29 AM
no
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 10:27:50 AM
What if I trick you into opening the email or picking up the phone? Does it make you angry? Or do you just think "well played".

At my last company, we used a program that made it look like we were calling from a local number.  We got way more people to pick up because they thought it might be their kid's school or doctor or something. You could tell by the tone in their voice they were upset with themselves for picking up.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 10:29:00 AM
So basically, I can assume that most of you who need something, you do the research and reach out to that company or you just talk to a current vendor to see if they provide that service/product, right?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 07, 2016, 10:30:22 AM
That sounds terrible MM  :frown:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Testy Westy on June 07, 2016, 10:31:43 AM
If you have to trick people into listening to your pitch your product probably sucks.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: DQ12 on June 07, 2016, 10:31:55 AM
So basically, I can assume that most of you who need something, you do the research and reach out to that company or you just talk to a current vendor to see if they provide that service/product, right?
Yes.  And if they don't offer it they usually offer a referral.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 8manpick on June 07, 2016, 10:33:00 AM
How do you sleep at night, known piece of crap human Batt BcKee (of Texas Tech University)?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on June 07, 2016, 10:33:38 AM
I only answer my phone when it's my wife calling. everybody else has to leave a message.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: michigancat on June 07, 2016, 10:34:22 AM


I spend most of my day reaching out to people trying to sell them crap.  I have leads where people have been to our website, visited our booth at a trade show or just generally shown some interest in our product to the extent that they’ve given my company their contact info.   Reaching out to those people is pretty simple. They tend to reply to emails, pick up their phone when you call and/or accept a meeting with me.

Obviously it would be best if all business could be done that way but getting the word out about our product via marketing can be expensive and not always effective.  As a result, we do a pretty fair amount of cold calling and emailing to make connections.  More and more people I speak to have become increasing irritated by unsolicited calls/emails.

My questions to those of you who routinely or even occasionally purchase products and services for your company are:
Do you ever pick up your phone when you see it’s from a vendor or a number you don’t recognize?
Has anyone ever left you a sales pitch on a voicemail that motivated you to call them back?
Have you ever purchased anything for the company that began by someone cold calling/cold emailing you?
Do you open emails from people that are obviously trying to sell you something?
If so, do you ever respond?
Do you accept LinkedIn connection requests from people you don’t know?

Is what you're selling relevant to my needs? Then I would probably open an email or linkedin message. I never answer unknown calls. The local area code thing you do is terrible.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Testy Westy on June 07, 2016, 10:34:36 AM
Watch out you guys, this thread is probably giving MM leads somehow.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 07, 2016, 10:35:39 AM
If I want something I just tell the person who orders stuff to just order it.  I maybe get like 2 calls a week period.  When I do get calls its from our vendors who just want to 'catch up' or 'see how everything is going' and I rough ridin' hate it
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 10:36:06 AM
Is what you're selling relevant to my needs? Then I would probably open an email or linkedin message. I never answer unknown calls. The local area code thing you do is terrible.

I agree, it's very shady.  Fortunately, I don't work for that company anymore.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 07, 2016, 10:39:04 AM
I don't actually do the buying, but I have to research and get price quotes for specific (1-off) products quite often. Usually it ends up I won't need the product, but that doesn't stop some dork from calling every week for the next 5 months asking if we need anything from them. Like bro, just chill.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 07, 2016, 10:45:37 AM
If you have to trick people into listening to your pitch your product probably sucks.
Software sells don't suck. I think every business tries to grow. MM has had success in the field. Just because it's not a profession you guys have pursued, doesn't mean it's crap. Lots of company success stories from companies buying product like this. Any type of product is going to use some source of networking.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: DQ12 on June 07, 2016, 10:47:30 AM
cold calling just sounds brutal.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 07, 2016, 10:47:49 AM
Every company has a gate keeper as well. Doesn't hurt to ask for strategy ideas.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 07, 2016, 10:50:23 AM
One of the best things about software is you can get a free trial then just buy it or don't and download it.  All of that can be accomplished without talking to someone
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 07, 2016, 10:50:59 AM
If you get cell numbers, MM, text. I've had a lot of success pursuing candidates by doing this. Easy for them to say no sometimes? Sure, but it's an easier way to get ppl to respond.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 07, 2016, 10:51:14 AM
One of the best things about software is you can get a free trial then just buy it or don't and download it.  All of that can be accomplished without talking to someone
Depends on the product.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 10:52:45 AM
One of the best things about software is you can get a free trial then just buy it or don't and download it.  All of that can be accomplished without talking to someone

But if you don't know the product exists, then you don't know to go and download it.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 07, 2016, 10:54:25 AM
I wrote an algorithm that searches the Internet for any new software so don't tell me I don't know
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 07, 2016, 10:55:07 AM
^^^^^ Sounds shadier than cold calling ppl
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: michigancat on June 07, 2016, 10:56:36 AM
If you get cell numbers, MM, text. I've had a lot of success pursuing candidates by doing this. Easy for them to say no sometimes? Sure, but it's an easier way to get ppl to respond.

I'm fine if we've had interaction and I've expressed interest, but do not "cold text".
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 10:57:36 AM
If you have to trick people into listening to your pitch your product probably sucks.

That's not a reflection of how good the product is,  it's more about how good the marketer or sales person is.

I try to show the value of my product in the opening line of the email.  Maybe I should try putting the value in the subject line. Some people won't open regardless but if I can get someone like michigancat to at least open it, then that's progress.

Thank you everyone for your input.

Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 07, 2016, 10:59:57 AM
If you get cell numbers, MM, text. I've had a lot of success pursuing candidates by doing this. Easy for them to say no sometimes? Sure, but it's an easier way to get ppl to respond.

I'm fine if we've had interaction and I've expressed interest, but do not "cold text".
Definitely. I always start off with.. "Hi _______, how are you doing today? It was nice meeting you at the Indiana convention and I really appreciated our conversation about such and such. I just wanted to follow up with you.....blah blah blah... Let me know if you're still interested in reconnecting. Any feedback would be much appreciated. Thanks and I hope all is well.."
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 11:01:23 AM
I wrote an algorithm that searches the Internet for any new software so don't tell me I don't know

You are a very efficient employee, TBT. 
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: CNS on June 07, 2016, 01:22:46 PM
My industry is not like many, I guess, but the idea of cold calling instantly puts me on edge and much more likely to either hang up or tell you no regardless. 

Related things I hate, not in any specific order:
- phone ringing
 - unknown or blocked numbers
 - Local number bullshit fuckaround on caller id for cold calls
 - Cold calls
 - calls where ppl act like you have a past relationship
 - calls where ppl are hesitant to actually tell you what the eff they want or why they are calling upfront.

One of the worst ideas man has come up with is the one where they try to start off a biz relationship with a trick.  I mean, if you want to be taken as a huckster, by all means, but if not, that is a really stupid idea.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 07, 2016, 02:07:30 PM
I had to get a software quote a few weeks ago. So I request the quote online, but of course they have to call me. So I talk to a software salesman who doesn't really know anything technically about the product. Luckily I already knew what I needed and told him. So he gives me a quote "even though I'm not really supposed to give quotes over the phone". Whatever.

But then he had to set me up with an account rep. Also be had to coordinate with a technical person to verify the modules I need to do the functions I need to do, although I was already right on what I needed.

So now the account rep has been calling me every week asking me the status on us making a purchase, even though I told both guys that we are looking at 3 to 6 months before we make a decision and get approval to buy.

In summary, software sales people are annoying.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 02:09:15 PM
The worst.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 07, 2016, 02:24:10 PM
I'd always have an IT guy sit in on the call with me, to describe the product to greater detail. Sounds like you might have been dealing with an inside sales rep, who takes renewable orders and such.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 8manpick on June 07, 2016, 02:26:48 PM
People who cold call should probably just take a time machine back to whatever juncture it was in their life that turned them into a horrible person and fix that decision
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 07, 2016, 02:29:55 PM
I had to get a software quote a few weeks ago. So I request the quote online, but of course they have to call me. So I talk to a software salesman who doesn't really know anything technically about the product. Luckily I already knew what I needed and told him. So he gives me a quote "even though I'm not really supposed to give quotes over the phone". Whatever.

But then he had to set me up with an account rep. Also be had to coordinate with a technical person to verify the modules I need to do the functions I need to do, although I was already right on what I needed.

So now the account rep has been calling me every week asking me the status on us making a purchase, even though I told both guys that we are looking at 3 to 6 months before we make a decision and get approval to buy.

In summary, software sales people are annoying.

Holy eff I hate this. Hey bad person sales people, just look at the rough ridin' email/online submission and email back a quote. You don't need to call me just to justify your job.

(not related to software in anyway)
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 07, 2016, 02:30:51 PM
Yes!
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mikeyis4dcats on June 07, 2016, 02:30:56 PM
I spend most of my day reaching out to people trying to sell them crap.  I have leads where people have been to our website, visited our booth at a trade show or just generally shown some interest in our product to the extent that they’ve given my company their contact info.   Reaching out to those people is pretty simple. They tend to reply to emails, pick up their phone when you call and/or accept a meeting with me.

Obviously it would be best if all business could be done that way but getting the word out about our product via marketing can be expensive and not always effective.  As a result, we do a pretty fair amount of cold calling and emailing to make connections.  More and more people I speak to have become increasing irritated by unsolicited calls/emails.

My questions to those of you who routinely or even occasionally purchase products and services for your company are:
Do you ever pick up your phone when you see it’s from a vendor or a number you don’t recognize?
Has anyone ever left you a sales pitch on a voicemail that motivated you to call them back?
Have you ever purchased anything for the company that began by someone cold calling/cold emailing you?
Do you open emails from people that are obviously trying to sell you something?
If so, do you ever respond?
Do you accept LinkedIn connection requests from people you don’t know?

No
No
Yes
I mean, outlook preview shows them, so sometimes I've looked, but rarely
Yes, but rarely from those outside my industry
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 07, 2016, 02:32:23 PM
People who cold call should probably just take a time machine back to whatever juncture it was in their life that turned them into a horrible person and fix that decision
My first two jobs in radio was my manager slapping a phone book on my desk and telling me to pick up the phone. This turned into me walking into random businesses, introducing myself, and handing off a business card. I just figured this is how all the ESPN guys made it.  :frown:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mikeyis4dcats on June 07, 2016, 02:39:18 PM
I had to get a software quote a few weeks ago. So I request the quote online, but of course they have to call me. So I talk to a software salesman who doesn't really know anything technically about the product. Luckily I already knew what I needed and told him. So he gives me a quote "even though I'm not really supposed to give quotes over the phone". Whatever.

But then he had to set me up with an account rep. Also be had to coordinate with a technical person to verify the modules I need to do the functions I need to do, although I was already right on what I needed.

So now the account rep has been calling me every week asking me the status on us making a purchase, even though I told both guys that we are looking at 3 to 6 months before we make a decision and get approval to buy.

In summary, software sales people are annoying.

Holy eff I hate this. Hey bad person sales people, just look at the rough ridin' email/online submission and email back a quote. You don't need to call me just to justify your job.

(not related to software in anyway)

the worst is when you request a quote and literally within 2 minutes they call.   Hello, are you really that hard up for business?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 07, 2016, 02:41:38 PM
I had to get a software quote a few weeks ago. So I request the quote online, but of course they have to call me. So I talk to a software salesman who doesn't really know anything technically about the product. Luckily I already knew what I needed and told him. So he gives me a quote "even though I'm not really supposed to give quotes over the phone". Whatever.

But then he had to set me up with an account rep. Also be had to coordinate with a technical person to verify the modules I need to do the functions I need to do, although I was already right on what I needed.

So now the account rep has been calling me every week asking me the status on us making a purchase, even though I told both guys that we are looking at 3 to 6 months before we make a decision and get approval to buy.

In summary, software sales people are annoying.

Holy eff I hate this. Hey bad person sales people, just look at the rough ridin' email/online submission and email back a quote. You don't need to call me just to justify your job.

(not related to software in anyway)

the worst is when you request a quote and literally within 2 minutes they call.   Hello, are you really that hard up for business?
Commission based folks? eff yes they are!
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Asteriskhead on June 07, 2016, 03:13:59 PM
Me: "Hello *Cold Caller*, we have a longstanding business relationship with another corporation that provides the same service as you. Please send your contact information to [email protected]. I will contact you should our relationship with our current provider ever change. Thanks, have a great day." *click*
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Saulbadguy on June 07, 2016, 04:17:40 PM
I better get bomb ass seats to a sporting event of my choice before you even think about getting my biz.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 07:34:11 PM
I better get bomb ass seats to a sporting event of my choice before you even think about getting my biz.
I have budget to take you to a nice lunch if you're willing to pretend you're interested my product in front my engineer I'll be bringing along. Then we can talk about the C@ts.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Saulbadguy on June 07, 2016, 08:58:50 PM
I better get bomb ass seats to a sporting event of my choice before you even think about getting my biz.
I have budget to take you to a nice lunch if you're willing to pretend you're interested my product in front my engineer I'll be bringing along. Then we can talk about the C@ts.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Just shut up and let your sales engineer talk, I don't give a crap about what the salesman has to say
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Saulbadguy on June 07, 2016, 08:59:43 PM
Hey, I know your quarter end is tomorrow. I better see some deep discounts PLUS a nice microfiber polo shirt. And maybe a backpack.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 09:00:33 PM
Shutting up is my specialty.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Saulbadguy on June 07, 2016, 09:01:52 PM
If I have a support ticket that I can't get a competent engineer to pick up, you sure as hell better press the "escalate" button on your salesforce app when i'm bitching about it during our "bi-weekly catch up" meeting.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Saulbadguy on June 07, 2016, 09:05:55 PM
No, I don't want to go to "Top Golf" with you.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 07, 2016, 09:06:46 PM
I thought everyone loved Top Golf.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: MakeItRain on June 07, 2016, 09:15:34 PM
no to all of the above

I avoid talking to my clients on the phone, not doing it with a vendor.

I had this hardcore hillbilly from West Virginia, I mean the hillbilliest hillbilly I have ever met, come by my office and sell me some all-natural, all-purpose cleaner. He used it to clean spots on my exterior door, tile floor, and a stain on my carpet. He drank the crap to prove it was all natural. I purchased 3 cases for $400.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 08, 2016, 08:50:02 PM
If any of you accidently open a sales email, post it here. I'd be curious to see how good or bad they are.

Thanks in advance.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: wetwillie on June 08, 2016, 08:51:43 PM
Can you give away access to a free trial of this software?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 08, 2016, 08:54:20 PM
Can you give away access to a free trial of this software?
I can but I'm sure most people here even a lot of the IT people would have no use for it.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Saulbadguy on June 08, 2016, 11:00:02 PM
A lot of the sales emails have a subject line starting with an Re:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Tobias on June 08, 2016, 11:10:22 PM
robot crap like this all day long :emawkid:

Quote
Dear Tobias,
   
It’s Richard one more time. Sorry to bother you again, but my last two emails must have missed you (below). I was asking if you use Citrix XenApp to access enterprise applications and content, or just want to move away from VDI, and are in need of significant cost reduction and simplification. If so, my company can help and it won't take me more than 10 minutes to explain how we work and what we guarantee.

(Moreover, if you are running Citrix 6.x, and rapidly approaching end-of-life (EOL) – there’s even more reason to talk.)
   
We're Ericom. IDC says we're a 'Major Player' in the Virtual Client Computing Software market. They call us a uniquely powerful, yet user-friendly remote desktop and application-access solution. Our clients, however, simply say we cost less and are a lot easier to use.

Tobias, please let me know when you have 10 minutes to review what a change can do for you through Ericom. Thanks and let’s talk soon.

Regards,

Richard Bauer
Vice President



Previous emails:

Dear Tobias,

It’s Richard again. Sorry to bother you, but my last email seems to have missed you (below). I was asking if you use Citrix XenApp to access enterprise applications and content, or just want to move away from VDI, and are in need of significant cost reduction and simplification. If so, my company can help and it won't take me more than 10 minutes to explain how we work and what we guarantee.

(Moreover, if you are running Citrix 6.x, and rapidly approaching end-of-life (EOL) – there’s even more reason to talk.)
   
We're Ericom. IDC says we're a 'Major Player' in the Virtual Client Computing Software market. They call us a uniquely powerful, yet user-friendly remote desktop and application-access solution. Our clients, however, simply say we cost less and are a lot easier to use.

Tobias, please let me know when you have 10 minutes to review what a change can do for you through Ericom. Thanks and let’s talk soon.

Regards,

Richard Bauer
Vice President

Previous email:

Dear Tobias,

If you use Citrix XenApp to access enterprise applications and content, or just want to move away from VDI, and are in need of significant cost reduction and simplification, let’s talk. It won't take more than 10 minutes to explain.

Moreover, if you are running Citrix 6.x, and rapidly approaching end-of-life (EOL) – it’s even more reason to talk.

We're Ericom. IDC says we're a 'Major Player' in the Virtual Client Computing Software market. They call us a uniquely powerful, yet user-friendly remote desktop and application-access solution. Our clients, however, simply say we cost less and are a lot easier to use.

Tobias, please let me know when you have 10 minutes to review what a change can do for you through Ericom.

Thanks and let’s talk soon.

Regards,

Richard Bauer
Vice President


231 Herbert Avenue Bldg#4
Closter, NJ 07624
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Tobias on June 08, 2016, 11:11:37 PM
^^^ "RE: Meeting Time"

A lot of the sales emails have a subject line starting with an Re:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: michigancat on June 08, 2016, 11:25:42 PM
I have a side job where I get PR pitches. Far worse, higher frequency, and nastier than any sales emails. Like, emails where the subject line is literally, "Hey {INSERT FIRST NAME HERE}, have you checked this out?"

And then the body says "Hey there, {INSERT FIRST NAME HERE}"

The "Re:" subject is pretty common. Lots of them talk about the weather or ask me how my weekend was even though I have never interacted with them in any way ever. Some of them get very passive-aggressive about you missing out on their pitch, like they're personally offended. One guy recently signed an email "thanks legend". (I was the legend). I usually don't read them, but when I have time they're usually pretty great.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 07:51:38 AM
I have a side job where I get PR pitches. Far worse, higher frequency, and nastier than any sales emails. Like, emails where the subject line is literally, "Hey {INSERT FIRST NAME HERE}, have you checked this out?"

And then the body says "Hey there, {INSERT FIRST NAME HERE}"

The "Re:" subject is pretty common. Lots of them talk about the weather or ask me how my weekend was even though I have never interacted with them in any way ever. Some of them get very passive-aggressive about you missing out on their pitch, like they're personally offended. One guy recently signed an email "thanks legend". (I was the legend). I usually don't read them, but when I have time they're usually pretty great.

That's pretty lazy mail merging right there.

When I first got into sales I would SPAM the crap out of people.  Back then, my only goal was to get someone, anyone, to agree to a phone call or meeting with a sales person.  Then I went to a role where I was the taking the follow up meeting/phone call.  Most of the time, those people had agreed to take a meeting but really had no idea what I was selling.  Now that I'm with a small company, I'm doing everything. Cold calling/emailing for new business, following up leads from trade shows, inbound emails and phone calls, renewals and taking the meetings with clients.   I'm trying to be more efficient in my prospecting and not SPAMing people.  So, I try and do more research of the company and the contact and see if I can't find a pain point that my software solves.  The problem is it is harder and harder to get people to even open an email or answer a phone to get that first pitch even if I have a product that they might be interested in.  So, that's why I was interested in what makes you guys interested in an email that you actually would reply to.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 09, 2016, 08:35:15 AM
First thing I look for in an email is that it doesn't have a .docm file attached to it. 
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 08:39:38 AM
Like waiting tables, I feel it's very important for everyone to have some type of sales job in their life at one point (It can be lemonade for all I care). I think it can round a person out and make them less shitty.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: CNS on June 09, 2016, 08:46:02 AM
depends.  Seems like lots of ppl could get the wrong sales job and be make more shitty.    :dunno:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 08:48:21 AM
Like waiting tables, I feel it's very important for everyone to have some type of sales job in their life at one point (It can be lemonade for all I care). I think it can round a person out and make them less shitty.

I don't know about thought.  Some of the shittiest people I know are sales people.  I think a customer service type of job is really better at rounding out a person. 
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 08:49:02 AM
depends.  Seems like lots of ppl could get the wrong sales job and be make more shitty.    :dunno:
ppl who've never done sales/waiting have a preconceived notion on the matter and it shows in this thread. Very uppity assholes, who've fitted into their craft and can't look outside of it.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 08:50:47 AM
Like waiting tables, I feel it's very important for everyone to have some type of sales job in their life at one point (It can be lemonade for all I care). I think it can round a person out and make them less shitty.

I don't know about thought.  Some of the shittiest people I know are sales people.  I think a customer service type of job is really better at rounding out a person.
Some of the shittiest ppl I know are Lawyers and IT dorks. This could be said for several of types of ppl. No one frowns upon them tho, for doing their damn job.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Tobias on June 09, 2016, 08:51:45 AM
why are you lumping sales and waiting tables together?  agree with mckee on a customer service type job
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 08:53:07 AM
Like waiting tables, I feel it's very important for everyone to have some type of sales job in their life at one point (It can be lemonade for all I care). I think it can round a person out and make them less shitty.

I don't know about thought.  Some of the shittiest people I know are sales people.  I think a customer service type of job is really better at rounding out a person.
Some of the shittiest ppl I know are Lawyers and IT dorks. This could be said for several of types of ppl. No one frowns upon them tho, for doing their damn job.

I'm pretty sure I've heard more jokes about lawyers being shitty people than about all other professions.  Except politicians and most politicians are lawyers.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 08:54:45 AM
why are you lumping sales and waiting tables together?  agree with mckee on a customer service type job
I mean both of those things are very customer servicey. I just think you finally see how shitty ppl can be IRL in those types of jobs. At least in my experience and the tone in this thread.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Emo EMAW on June 09, 2016, 09:09:33 AM
Life/work would be so much better without customers.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 09:11:01 AM
Life/work would be so much better without customers.
This is why I love weekends where I hide from family and friends. It's tiring having to be on all the time.  :zzz:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 09, 2016, 09:21:08 AM
I'm not a shitty person :frown:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 09:22:09 AM
I'm not a shitty person :frown:
Exactly. That's the point.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 09:34:07 AM
I'm not a shitty person :frown:

Tell us more, TBT.  What does your job responsibilities entail?  :)
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 09:37:20 AM
Mythical shitty ppl by profession:

-Sales
-Lawyers
-IT ppl (socially awkward)

Mythical non shitty ppl by profession:

-Nurses
-Doctors
-Vets

#Science
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 09, 2016, 10:05:14 AM
I'm not a shitty person :frown:

Tell us more, TBT.  What does your job responsibilities entail?  :)

Post your VPN info and the admin account and I'll show you :D
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 10:11:34 AM
I'm not a shitty person :frown:

Tell us more, TBT.  What does your job responsibilities entail?  :)

Post your VPN info and the admin account and I'll show you :D

I'm not currently on a VPN.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 09, 2016, 10:39:22 AM
If you choose a job where you have to pester and annoy people, why are you upset when people don't like being pestered and annoyed? Seems like part of the job.  It would be like your mythical doctor getting mad that they have to see sick people.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 09, 2016, 10:44:05 AM
And doctors/nurses get crap talked all the time,weird example.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 10:49:37 AM
If you choose a job where you have to pester and annoy people, why are you upset when people don't like being pestered and annoyed? Seems like part of the job.  It would be like your mythical doctor getting mad that they have to see sick people.

I'm not upset.  I'm just trying to think of better ways to do it. 
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 09, 2016, 10:52:24 AM
If you choose a job where you have to pester and annoy people, why are you upset when people don't like being pestered and annoyed? Seems like part of the job.  It would be like your mythical doctor getting mad that they have to see sick people.

I'm not upset.  I'm just trying to think of better ways to do it.

No, someone else is  ;)
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 10:53:20 AM
I'm not at all. I just think it's funny how certain ppl look down on certain ppl.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 11:11:12 AM
I'm not at all. I just think it's funny how certain ppl look down on certain ppl.
Like adulterers!


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Emo EMAW on June 09, 2016, 11:39:04 AM
I'm not at all. I just think it's funny how certain ppl look down on certain ppl.
Like adulterers!


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pvegs didn't know she was married!  :shakesfist:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 09, 2016, 11:39:27 AM
I'm not at all. I just think it's funny how certain ppl look down on certain ppl.

You're the one calling people "uppity assholes" because they don't like to be bothered by sales people
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Dugout DickStone on June 09, 2016, 11:50:33 AM
Throw a nice happy hour and invite other folks from my industry so you don't earhole me

I don't get cold calls, you gotta get through a few layers
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Asteriskhead on June 09, 2016, 12:29:57 PM
Throw a nice happy hour and invite other folks from my industry so you don't earhole me

I don't get cold calls, you gotta get through a few layers

I'm finally starting to get my layers trained appropriately. It is nice.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: _33 on June 09, 2016, 12:49:34 PM
I think I would crush it at sales.  While on summer break back in 2010 I worked for the Census Bureau and they gave me all the libertarian and hermit weirdos who refused to fill out their census stuff and through some slick maneuvering and fast talking I always got them to answer my questions and fill out the form.  They called me "the closer".  That is the reason I think I would crush it at sales.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 09, 2016, 12:53:33 PM
I think I would crush it at sales.  While on summer break back in 2010 I worked for the Census Bureau and they gave me all the libertarian and hermit weirdos who refused to fill out their census stuff and through some slick maneuvering and fast talking I always got them to answer my questions and fill out the form.  They called me "the closer".  That is the reason I think I would crush it at sales.

 :peek:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 12:55:31 PM
I'm not at all. I just think it's funny how certain ppl look down on certain ppl.

You're the one calling people "uppity assholes" because they don't like to be bothered by sales people
I'm calling them uppity assholes, for judging their profession, dummy.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 09, 2016, 01:06:17 PM
I'm not at all. I just think it's funny how certain ppl look down on certain ppl.

You're the one calling people "uppity assholes" because they don't like to be bothered by sales people
I'm calling them uppity assholes, for judging their profession, dummy.

Who is doing this?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 01:07:00 PM
http://goEMAW.com/forum/index.php?topic=37708.0
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 09, 2016, 01:08:04 PM
So... No one?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 01:09:38 PM
Good grief, lib!

How do you sleep at night, known piece of crap human Batt BcKee (of Texas Tech University)?

Quote
spam comment

Quote
etc

Quote
People who cold call should probably just take a time machine back to whatever juncture it was in their life that turned them into a horrible person and fix that decision
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 09, 2016, 01:11:05 PM
 :Ugh:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 01:11:57 PM
Do you love to argue, lib^7? Because you're really difficult to speak to at times.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 09, 2016, 01:13:45 PM
I'm just trying to figure out why you're so sensitive to people talking about sales tactics they don't like. You're the only one here equating a person's worth with their profession
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 01:15:18 PM
I appreciate you defending me, Wacky.  But I think most were upset by SPAMing and disguising my phone number to be local.  Which is understandable.  I don't take it personal. 
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 01:16:25 PM
That's fine. Ppl gotta eat.  :thumbs:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 8manpick on June 09, 2016, 01:18:23 PM
Yes, SPAMing and cold calling are deplorable actions
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 09, 2016, 02:17:18 PM
The only kind of sales people that I like are the kind that are very helpful when I am buying something that I want to buy. If you are pushing me to buy something I don't want or if you are neglecting me when I am ready to purchase something, I hate you. There is a very small window of opportunity for me to not hate you if you are a sales person.

Also kid salesmen are the WORST! (i.e. the kind who sell you some frozen cookie dough to raise funds for one of their stupid summer programs or something and then deliver the frozen cookie dough a couple of weeks later by LEAVING IT ON YOUR rough ridin' PORCH IN THE 90 DEGREE HEAT!)
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 02:20:08 PM
Good grief, Mrs gooch, we get it, you hate kids.  :lol:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Emo EMAW on June 09, 2016, 02:23:48 PM
I just give those kids cash donations. I don't need their garbage products.  But I do want to help them accomplish whatever they want to accomplish.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: CNS on June 09, 2016, 02:30:27 PM
I just give those kids cash donations. I don't need their garbage products.  But I do want to help them accomplish whatever they want to accomplish.

Yep.  I always ask them how much of that $20 of cookie dough/popcorn/college themed cups actually goes to their school.  They never know.  I tell them to ask their teacher and then give them the $20 and tell them that $20 out of $20 of that is going towards their cause and that they would be better off just telling ppl their cause and asking for donations.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on June 09, 2016, 02:31:32 PM
I just tell the kids "no thanks" and then they move on to the next house.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 02:32:50 PM
I just give those kids cash donations. I don't need their garbage products.  But I do want to help them accomplish whatever they want to accomplish.

Yep.  I always ask them how much of that $20 of cookie dough/popcorn/college themed cups actually goes to their school.  They never know.  I tell them to ask their teacher and then give them the $20 and tell them that $20 out of $20 of that is going towards their cause and that they would be better off just telling ppl their cause and asking for donations.
They probably pocket that $20.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on June 09, 2016, 02:35:12 PM
I just give those kids cash donations. I don't need their garbage products.  But I do want to help them accomplish whatever they want to accomplish.

Yep.  I always ask them how much of that $20 of cookie dough/popcorn/college themed cups actually goes to their school.  They never know.  I tell them to ask their teacher and then give them the $20 and tell them that $20 out of $20 of that is going towards their cause and that they would be better off just telling ppl their cause and asking for donations.
They probably pocket that $20.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

They should. They deserve it.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: CNS on June 09, 2016, 02:45:10 PM
I just give those kids cash donations. I don't need their garbage products.  But I do want to help them accomplish whatever they want to accomplish.

Yep.  I always ask them how much of that $20 of cookie dough/popcorn/college themed cups actually goes to their school.  They never know.  I tell them to ask their teacher and then give them the $20 and tell them that $20 out of $20 of that is going towards their cause and that they would be better off just telling ppl their cause and asking for donations.
They probably pocket that $20.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That's fine too.  I mean, you take what you choose from experiences. 
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: ChiComCat on June 09, 2016, 03:00:57 PM
Next kid that comes to my house, I am going to buy whatever they are selling for the next house they visit.  Start one of those stupid starbucks lines and force everyone in the neighborhood to donate or be a dick.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 09, 2016, 03:03:03 PM
I usually buy stuff from kids I know but not from cold caller kids, except that one time with the cookie dough. I learned my lesson there.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: CNS on June 09, 2016, 03:04:29 PM
I don't let my kids cold call sell that stuff.  I tell them how much ppl hate sales ppl and how I want them to be someone who does something worthwhile and not a piece of human trash. 
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 03:05:39 PM
lol


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 09, 2016, 03:08:53 PM
I don't let my kids cold call sell that stuff.  I tell them how much ppl hate sales ppl and how I want them to be someone who does something worthwhile and not a piece of human trash.
(https://m.popkey.co/b6b361/zJLeR_s-200x150.gif)
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 09, 2016, 03:08:58 PM
:D
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on June 09, 2016, 03:09:24 PM
I wouldn't have my kids running around town peddling crap like cookie dough and magazine subscriptions, either. My nephew tried selling me magazines a couple of years ago. I told him that he would have to pay me to get me to take a magazine subscription.

Then my wife ordered one. :curse:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mikeyis4dcats on June 09, 2016, 03:10:15 PM
I don't let my kids cold call sell that stuff.  I tell them how much ppl hate sales ppl and how I want them to be someone who does something worthwhile and not a piece of human trash.

yeah, I just buy whatever gets them to a reasonable prize level and call it good.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: ben ji on June 09, 2016, 03:27:36 PM
I'm going to call pmshead right now and try to sell him something, lets see how good his layers are working.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: ben ji on June 09, 2016, 03:31:33 PM
The layers aren't working.

"Hey, is pmshead there?

"Yeah sure, let me transfer you"

VM tho, will send him an email with "RE: " as the subject and report back on its effectiveness
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Trim on June 09, 2016, 04:09:17 PM
They layers aren't working.

"Hey, is pmshead there?

"Yeah sure, let me transfer you"

VM tho, will send him an email with "RE: " as the subject and report back on its effectiveness

Make it "RE: Defending our belt and winning the belt*" and actually have him post in the ff thread what you guys' plan is for 9 days from now or if you're just forfeiting to the King.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Emo EMAW on June 09, 2016, 04:25:14 PM
One time I actually gave a kid a lesson in sales.

"Um hi do you want to buy some cookies."

"No no no, kid, you're doing it all wrong.  First rule of sales, only ask a question that you know the customer already knows the answer to.  So try something like 'hi mister, would you like to help me do something cool?'  Then of course I say 'yes.'  Then you can jump in with the candy or cookies or whatever it is, and be sure to explain how by buying the cookies actually helps you accomplish the cool thing."

I made him practice his pitch to me.

Of course then I told him no I don't want your stupid cookies and to get lost. (jk  :D)
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Asteriskhead on June 09, 2016, 05:57:23 PM
The layers aren't working.

"Hey, is pmshead there?

"Yeah sure, let me transfer you"

VM tho, will send him an email with "RE: " as the subject and report back on its effectiveness

I saw that email in my inbox while cooking dinner tonight, I smiled knowing that you had probably just caught on this thread right beforehand. I'll get back to you tomorrow.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: MakeItRain on June 09, 2016, 08:19:04 PM
If any of you accidently open a sales email, post it here. I'd be curious to see how good or bad they are.

Thanks in advance.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote
Hi You,

Just want to say that, as a former educator, I’m a big fan of <REDACTED>. I know the school year is almost over but you still haven’t tried out Kaymbu! So - I wanted to offer you an iPad. Take us for a free test run this summer, no strings attached. I’m sure you’ll love it!

What do you have to lose? All you need to do is tell me where to send your iPad!
 
Cheers,
David

He purchased my email address but still thought it was a good idea to go with "Hi you"
Title: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 08:24:04 PM
Wow, a free iPad. At HP someone would have to show up for a webinar or a class to be registered to win a crappy HP tablet.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 09, 2016, 08:25:46 PM
David was pretty lazy.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: slobber on June 09, 2016, 08:36:56 PM
'Hey you' would have been so much better.


Royals aren't gonna win 'em all
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on June 10, 2016, 08:12:47 AM
We purchase doctor lists from time to time. I've perfected an email that gets a lot of action as well. I can't imagine starting with a "Hi you!" to grabs someones attention.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: OK_Cat on June 10, 2016, 10:02:01 AM
I'd rather shitty salesmen were honest with me, and skip the 'how are you, blah blah blah.' Just tell me how much it costs and what it does.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: ChiComCat on June 10, 2016, 11:23:08 AM
Using "just" to weaken your statement off the bat is a poor ass sales technique too.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: mocat on June 10, 2016, 01:57:51 PM
hi you (guys), late to this thread. i have never once heard someone describe IT people as "shitty", the way that everyone describes sales people (shitty). i mean have you ever seen silicon valley? IT guys are the heroes and the sales people crap all over everything and are shitty people. now waiting tables (completely unrelated in every single imaginable way to being a shitty sales person) is a great service industry job where you serve people. any waiter/waitress will tell you the shittiest customers are usually shitty sales people on some shitty power lunch trying to lock down some shitty sale. just like slipknot said "sales people equal crap"
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 10, 2016, 02:02:07 PM
<---- IT people :cool:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 10, 2016, 02:04:13 PM
Silicon Valley's portrayal of software sales people was dead on.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Kat Kid on June 10, 2016, 02:30:02 PM
Next kid that comes to my house, I am going to buy whatever they are selling for the next house they visit.  Start one of those stupid starbucks lines and force everyone in the neighborhood to donate or be a dick.

The Manhattan Catholic School has a brilliant fundraiser where they will bring and then remove an American flag to your front yard for the 4th of July, Flag Day and Memorial Day.  It costs like $50/yr and if you have a family with kids that go to the Catholic school on your block/ cul de sac, woe be to you that doesn't have their rough ridin' flag. 
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: ben ji on June 10, 2016, 03:07:37 PM
The layers aren't working.

"Hey, is pmshead there?

"Yeah sure, let me transfer you"

VM tho, will send him an email with "RE: " as the subject and report back on its effectiveness

I saw that email in my inbox while cooking dinner tonight, I smiled knowing that you had probably just caught on this thread right beforehand. I'll get back to you tomorrow.

Wow guyz, PMShead just bought 1,000 widgets from me.    :love: :love: :love:

THAT is how you sell!
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: ChiComCat on June 10, 2016, 03:14:32 PM
Next kid that comes to my house, I am going to buy whatever they are selling for the next house they visit.  Start one of those stupid starbucks lines and force everyone in the neighborhood to donate or be a dick.

The Manhattan Catholic School has a brilliant fundraiser where they will bring and then remove an American flag to your front yard for the 4th of July, Flag Day and Memorial Day.  It costs like $50/yr and if you have a family with kids that go to the Catholic school on your block/ cul de sac, woe be to you that doesn't have their rough ridin' flag. 

Genius
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 10, 2016, 03:15:37 PM
That's a pretty cool fundraiser. I would buy that
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Asteriskhead on June 10, 2016, 03:51:51 PM
The layers aren't working.

"Hey, is pmshead there?

"Yeah sure, let me transfer you"

VM tho, will send him an email with "RE: " as the subject and report back on its effectiveness

I saw that email in my inbox while cooking dinner tonight, I smiled knowing that you had probably just caught on this thread right beforehand. I'll get back to you tomorrow.

Wow guyz, PMShead just bought 1,000 widgets from me.    :love: :love: :love:

THAT is how you sell!

They're the best widgets you can buy. Believe me, the absolute best.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Gooch on June 10, 2016, 05:24:15 PM
I usually buy stuff from kids I know but not from cold caller kids, except that one time with the cookie dough. I learned my lesson there.
Those were the next door neighbors kids. Also makes them leaving it on the porch even more deplorable.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 10, 2016, 11:04:32 PM
Next kid that comes to my house, I am going to buy whatever they are selling for the next house they visit.  Start one of those stupid starbucks lines and force everyone in the neighborhood to donate or be a dick.

The Manhattan Catholic School has a brilliant fundraiser where they will bring and then remove an American flag to your front yard for the 4th of July, Flag Day and Memorial Day.  It costs like $50/yr and if you have a family with kids that go to the Catholic school on your block/ cul de sac, woe be to you that doesn't have their rough ridin' flag.
The Rotary club here does the same thing. I had no idea today was flag day until this morning I walked out to get in my truck and there was a flag in my yard.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 14, 2016, 04:22:08 PM
Now the software sales guy is going to be in Wichita and would like to schedule something with me.

No, annoying software sales guy, I do not want to meet with you so that you can give me a boring presentation about your software that I already know.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 14, 2016, 06:13:32 PM
But a free trial if you listen to my offer tho
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 14, 2016, 07:11:30 PM
Now the software sales guy is going to be in Wichita and would like to schedule something with me.

No, annoying software sales guy, I do not want to meet with you so that you can give me a boring presentation about your software that I already know.

#zapped
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 14, 2016, 07:42:49 PM
Now the software sales guy is going to be in Wichita and would like to schedule something with me.

No, annoying software sales guy, I do not want to meet with you so that you can give me a boring presentation about your software that I already know.
My demos are not boring at all.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 15, 2016, 01:31:09 PM
Quote from: Annoying Software Sales Guy subject=Feedback/Question
Hi "Mrs. Gooch",

Was there any feedback from upper management on "software" pricing and whether that fit into the budget? Or was the pricing provided to help with an upcoming project that "your company" plans to include the software into the budget?

All the best,

"Annoying Sales Guy"


OK, I get it. You are desperate to sell some software.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 23, 2016, 09:42:00 AM
Hey guys who occasionally open emails, would a funny or self deprecating email make you more likely to respond?

Here's the message I'm going with today. Any feedback would be good.  (This is f/u to an email that was sent last week and didn't get a response).

Saulbadguy,
Do you and your team spend too much time putting out fires in your SAN network?
I can help get that time back for other things like deleting unsolicited emails from annoying sales guys.
Batt BcKee



Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: michigancat on June 23, 2016, 09:51:42 AM
Hey guys who occasionally open emails, would a funny or self deprecating email make you more likely to respond?

Here's the message I'm going with today. Any feedback would be good.  (This is f/u to an email that was sent last week and didn't get a response).

Saulbadguy,
Do you and your team spend too much time putting out fires in your SAN network?
I can help get that time back for other things like deleting unsolicited emails from annoying sales guys.
Batt BcKee





nope. Probably make me less likely. Just have a good product and check in from time to time like a normal grown up.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 23, 2016, 09:54:15 AM
Ok.  Thanks for the input.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: michigancat on June 23, 2016, 09:58:52 AM
Ok.  Thanks for the input.

And really I think follow up once a month at most. They can be valuable reminders and it gives time for business needs to potentially change. But don't be cheeky.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: michigancat on June 23, 2016, 09:59:31 AM
A sales guy recently left a voicemail stating "I don't want to be a pest, so please let me know if you don't want to buy my product and I'll move on."

It made me kind of sad.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 23, 2016, 10:01:00 AM
Ok.  Thanks for the input.

And really I think follow up once a month at most. They can be valuable reminders and it gives time for business needs to potentially change. But don't be cheeky.
That's good advice.  Thanks.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on June 23, 2016, 10:02:59 AM
I would be asking advice from other people in sales. Nobody likes being sold to and will tell you to call less often and be less annoying, but I'd imagine most salesmen are annoying because it works.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 23, 2016, 10:06:48 AM
I would be asking advice from other people in sales. Nobody likes being sold to and will tell you to call less often and be less annoying, but I'd imagine most salesmen are annoying because it works.

I think michigancat is a good person to ask because he actually opens, reads and occasionally buys from unsolicited emails/cold calls.  I'm surrounded by sales people daily, i know most of their "tricks".  I think getting a perspective from people I'm trying to target can be helpful.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mikeyis4dcats on June 23, 2016, 12:51:52 PM
Hey guys who occasionally open emails, would a funny or self deprecating email make you more likely to respond?

Here's the message I'm going with today. Any feedback would be good.  (This is f/u to an email that was sent last week and didn't get a response).

Saulbadguy,
Do you and your team spend too much time putting out fires in your SAN network?
I can help get that time back for other things like deleting unsolicited emails from annoying sales guys.
Batt BcKee


Maybe talk about how you can send noods of your sister/wife/gf....that my gain some traction.     
Title: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 23, 2016, 01:16:24 PM
Maybe you could just send some randsomware in an email and part of the solution is a ransom but also 2 years worth of your product :dunno:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Gooch on June 23, 2016, 01:18:35 PM
I wonder if Mrs. Gooch banged that software guy yet?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: ChiComCat on June 23, 2016, 01:19:47 PM
I wonder if Mrs. Gooch banged that software guy yet?

I heard some expensive ass Royals tix were the straw that broke the camel's back
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Gooch on June 23, 2016, 01:24:01 PM
I wonder if Mrs. Gooch banged that software guy yet?

I heard some expensive ass Royals tix were the straw that broke the camel's back
:ROFL:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on June 23, 2016, 01:24:55 PM
I wonder if Mrs. Gooch banged that software guy yet?

He'll be in Wichita the week of July 15.  :sdeek:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Gooch on June 23, 2016, 01:26:37 PM
How convenient for you.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on June 23, 2016, 01:29:48 PM
[youtube]https://youtu.be/5sTbjO3eI_0[/youtube]
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 27, 2016, 08:11:53 PM
Sorry WackyCat08, but science says sales are the #4 psychopaths

http://www.forbes.com/sites/kellyclay/2013/01/05/the-top-10-jobs-that-attract-psychopaths/#17ab5cd873c3
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: star seed 7 on June 27, 2016, 08:12:48 PM
And you retired from #3  :Ugh:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on June 27, 2016, 08:17:12 PM
forbes is the worst rough ridin' site on the internet  :bang:
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Asteriskhead on June 28, 2016, 09:50:53 AM
you rough ridin' people and your rough ridin' cold calls.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Tobias on June 28, 2016, 09:52:30 AM
did you catch the psychopath part?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on August 05, 2016, 01:15:54 PM
I got this today, maybe do something like this :dunno:

Quote
Hey TBT,

I’m Kiki from Widget software.

I’m emailing to let you know that we currently have a special on everything ;) If you are using Widgets, I’m sure we would have a tool you could use at big discounts.

Would you be interested in a bundle of Widget tools covering 'a bunch of widget stuff' for 50% off? Or how about a full suite of Widget Tools for 50% off?

Interested in other bundles or individual tools? I can still offer 50% off!

Please let me know before August 31st if you were interested. I can create a quote that will allow you to lock in these prices until the end of this quarter.

I’ll be waiting patiently for your expected reply! ;)
Kiki
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on August 05, 2016, 01:17:40 PM
Did you reply, TBT?


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on August 05, 2016, 01:26:31 PM
Well this software is still several grand even with a 50% discount, so no
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on August 05, 2016, 01:30:48 PM
I mean it's awesome software and I have it at work, but I'm not gonna buy it out of my own pocket
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on August 05, 2016, 01:31:26 PM
Well this software is still several grand even with a 50% discount, so no

Kiki is waiting patiently.

I would never start a conversation with a discount.  I don't like to infer that my product is grossly overpriced.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on August 05, 2016, 01:32:06 PM
I mean it's awesome software and I have it at work, but I'm not gonna buy it out of my own pocket

Ah. Would you have a need for it at home if were not so expensive?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on August 05, 2016, 01:34:24 PM
I mean it's awesome software and I have it at work, but I'm not gonna buy it out of my own pocket

Ah. Would you have a need for it at home if were not so expensive?

Absolutely.  It automates a ton of stuff that I have to do manually on side projects at home
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 05, 2016, 01:38:54 PM
I mean it's awesome software and I have it at work, but I'm not gonna buy it out of my own pocket

Ah. Would you have a need for it at home if were not so expensive?

Absolutely.  It automates a ton of stuff that I have to do manually on side projects at home

Ask if you can get a non-professional version for a lot cheaper.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on August 05, 2016, 01:41:26 PM
I mean it's awesome software and I have it at work, but I'm not gonna buy it out of my own pocket

Ah. Would you have a need for it at home if were not so expensive?

Absolutely.  It automates a ton of stuff that I have to do manually on side projects at home

Ask if you can get a non-professional version for a lot cheaper.

That's basically what they are already doing.  We pay full price for it at work. 

They have a couple of free tools but nothing as useful as the outrageously expensive ones(obviously).
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on August 11, 2016, 01:47:43 PM
Quote
Hi TBT,

This is Kiki again. I haven’t heard from you regarding the offer I sent, so I am following up to make sure you received my previous email and that I can expect your response soon.

I don’t want you to miss on the opportunity to obtain Widget tools you need for 50% off, so please get back to me so we can discuss your needs and this offer in more detail ;)

Have a great day and talk to you soon,
Kiki
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Emo EMAW on August 11, 2016, 01:51:36 PM
I really want to know what problems you are solving at home by coding.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on August 11, 2016, 02:15:04 PM
You should reply and tell her that your budget is (10% of price) and tell her that you expect her reply telling you she can get you that price soon.
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on August 11, 2016, 02:17:15 PM
I would probably buy it for 10% of the price, a couple hundred is better than a couple thousand
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on August 23, 2016, 10:16:02 AM
Alright now she's starting to get a little pushy

Quote
Hi TBT,

This is just a quick reminder that we’re currently running a campaign where we offer 50% discount on all our products, individual and bundles. This campaign will run until August 31stand I’ll keep following up until I make sure you received this information.

Although campaign will last till the end of August, I can lock the prices until the end of September by sending you a non-obligatory quote. You should just confirm your interest by responding to this email ;)

Hope to hear back from you soon,
Kiki
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on August 23, 2016, 10:34:27 AM
That was pushy?


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on August 23, 2016, 10:50:49 AM
Saying that she would keep following up until I respond and I should just confirm my interest?  Yeah that's a little pushy.  I mean if this thing was $50 I could see it
Title: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on August 23, 2016, 10:52:51 AM
If it was fifty dollars she wouldn't be wasting time with you.  I'm sure it you told her you didn't have the budget or something she'd probably leave you alone.


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Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Mrs. Gooch on September 22, 2016, 04:49:13 PM
Quote
Hi Mrs. Gooch,

Are there still plans to increase capabilities with {software that I asked for a quote on months ago} this year? I have to update my boss on the latest with {company}.


Also, I thought you might be interesting in attending this webinar we’re hosting:
{Blah, Blah, Boring Boring}

All the best,

Annoying Sales Guy


Does he really think I care that he needs to update his boss?
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: The Big Train on September 22, 2016, 05:21:30 PM
Batt BcKee would care
Title: Re: Hey guys who buy crap for work!
Post by: Institutional Control on September 23, 2016, 07:31:33 AM
I would agree with Mrs gooch


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