Author Topic: The Divorce Thread  (Read 13477 times)

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Offline slobber

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #25 on: July 30, 2014, 10:09:57 PM »

i was 28 when it happened, so like, i didn't really care too much
You really didn't care? It seems like I would care no matter how old they were or I was.

(Serious)


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Offline The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #26 on: July 30, 2014, 10:16:28 PM »
Have divorced parents. I turned out alright and my parents both still love me and are friends with each other. Hell, they live in the same neighborhood. Hard to think they were ever married to each other now.

Not all divorces are messy. But yeah, having kids changes the game. So does living together, I guess...

One thing it's taught me is that I have to be very careful about who I choose to marry. Date, move in together, get engaged... Really take things slowly and make sure marriage makes sense for us and not other people or religion or sex or any other dumb reason people get married too soon for.
I think what my friend Mitch is trying to say is that true love is blind.

Offline michigancat

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #27 on: July 30, 2014, 10:22:19 PM »
Everyone's upbringing has an effect on how they act as adults.

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #28 on: July 30, 2014, 10:25:03 PM »

i was 28 when it happened, so like, i didn't really care too much
You really didn't care? It seems like I would care no matter how old they were or I was.

(Serious)


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no, it didn't bother me at all.  it was a little uncomfortable when they started dating new people, but that went away pretty quickly
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Offline cfbandyman

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #29 on: July 30, 2014, 10:28:12 PM »
Very fortunate that my parents are still together after 31 years and still going strong, and more adorable by the year. But, outside of that the rest of my family is pretty messy. My mom's older brother is like the worst at it and I feel almost intentionally. He has been married at least 5 times, about to be married this fall, again, and has so many gfs in between that at any family gathering it's always someone different. It literally is a dark humor running joke at who my uncle is going to bring next Christmas or Thanksgiving. And the worst is the type of women he gets with, generally good natured women who have just gotten through a divorce of their own. He is like the ultimate rebounder guy who marries them, and then leaves/divorces them after like a year. It's awful to watch and really hard on my two cousins (his sons). He divorced their mom when both were like 8 and 6 i think.

One of his sons has had a kid with a women who wanted to be with him and then just used him to get pregnant, and has also been married and divorce to a women who essentially ended up hating that my cousin had said kid. That cousin though is kind of a loose cannon and easy to fool at times but no one deserves that kind of crap. The other cousin basically deals with it by walking the tightest line with his wife and new son as possible, so that's good but it's hard on him.

My mom's younger sister is almost the female version of their older brother except after the few marriages and divorces and bfs in between she has at least been with the guy she's currently married for about 8 years, so I guess it worked out, but of course it hurt her two daughters, she divorced their dad also at like when they were 8 and 6.

And to top it off their mom and dad, my grandpa and grandma divorced after 40 years. I remember it and it hurt me cause we were a pretty close family, not in the way if it was my mom and dad. I guess I still can't understand how you divorce someone after so long, but all my mom says is that "they got tired of each other" which I guess can happen, just it added and new layer of effing my mom, my two uncles and my aunt. 

And that's just my mom's side, my dad side's not as bad but I can't even explain it mostly cause I don't know them (they all live in Montana-Wyoming-Idaho) and most of those issues revolve around dealing with reclusive and bitter sibling rivalries rather than divorces. Long story short, divorce sucks especially when kids are involved, and while it's usually better for the people involved to live apart it creates and awful mess.
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Online Pete

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The Divorce Thread
« Reply #30 on: July 30, 2014, 10:35:11 PM »
This sort of thing is way, way more horrible and complicated than anyone will ever know, until one is faced with it.  Only then can you begin to empathize.

Very few enter into marriage thinking "it won't work out."

I used to "assume" and make judgments about others' situations.  I was wrong to do so.  Very wrong.  It can be a soul crushing event.


I've stood on that precipice.   It's a horrible place, and I'm very thankful I am not there now.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2014, 10:38:37 PM by Pete »

Online Spracne

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #31 on: July 30, 2014, 10:53:16 PM »
Everyone's upbringing has an effect on how they act as adults.

Hey, slow down there, chief...

Offline EMAWmeister

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #32 on: July 30, 2014, 10:56:58 PM »
My grandparents got divorced when my mom was 40. My grandpa's next girlfriend was 38  :horrorsurprise:



This was 10 years ago, so she's obviously over it now. I was a little worried for a while that it's what would happen with my parents, but they are a year from being empty nesters and doing better than ever I feel.

Offline SkinnyBenny

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #33 on: July 30, 2014, 11:02:13 PM »
And that's just my mom's side, my dad side's not as bad but I can't even explain it mostly cause I don't know them (they all live in Montana-Wyoming-Idaho).

Take it to the vision quest thread :love:
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Offline the_ugly_clown

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #34 on: July 31, 2014, 07:24:22 AM »
Anyone ever divorced the same broad more than once?  That's a trip I bet.

I have a co-worker (female) who has done this.

Offline Mrs. Gooch

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #35 on: July 31, 2014, 08:38:50 AM »
My parents have been divorced for pretty much my whole life - from as early as my earliest memories. My dad comes to the Thanksgiving/Christmas family gatherings of my mom's family though.

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #36 on: July 31, 2014, 08:41:51 AM »
Everyone's upbringing has an effect on how they act as adults.
Hmmm. My parents have been married since they were 17/18. Is that why I've tried to stay single for so long?  :dunno:

Offline steve dave

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #37 on: July 31, 2014, 08:42:49 AM »
Everyone's upbringing has an effect on how they act as adults.
Hmmm. My parents have been married since they were 17/18. Is that why I've tried to stay single for so long?  :dunno:

maybe wc, maybe

Offline j rake

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #38 on: July 31, 2014, 08:57:51 AM »
if life expectancy was something normal like it was back in the 1800s (40 to 50 yrs old), it would be much easier for people in their 20s and 30s to stick it out and try to make their marriage work. but anymore, with life expectancy being what it is (many of us will live until we're 100), i think lots of couples cut their losses and move onto the next one.

i'm in favor of reforming our current divorce laws. if you stay with someone for 25-plus years and have no children under age 18, you should be able to opt out without penalty or threat of losing assets, income, etc. the idea of "till death do us part" is great, but again, that's when life expectancy was something reasonable. who here wants to marry someone at age 25 and live with them for 75 years. that's horrifying!

Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #39 on: July 31, 2014, 09:06:19 AM »
if life expectancy was something normal like it was back in the 1800s (40 to 50 yrs old), it would be much easier for people in their 20s and 30s to stick it out and try to make their marriage work. but anymore, with life expectancy being what it is (many of us will live until we're 100), i think lots of couples cut their losses and move onto the next one.

i'm in favor of reforming our current divorce laws. if you stay with someone for 25-plus years and have no children under age 18, you should be able to opt out without penalty or threat of losing assets, income, etc. the idea of "till death do us part" is great, but again, that's when life expectancy was something reasonable. who here wants to marry someone at age 25 and live with them for 75 years. that's horrifying!

How do you determine which assets belong to who, though? Seems like losing half of your assets is the only fair way to do it.

Offline steve dave

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #40 on: July 31, 2014, 09:08:44 AM »
OT but imagine a J Rake engagement/marriage/family thread and all the "what do I do in this situation!?" lols.

Offline slobber

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #41 on: July 31, 2014, 09:10:26 AM »
75 years with my wife seems awesome.


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Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #42 on: July 31, 2014, 09:11:35 AM »
OT but imagine a J Rake engagement/marriage/family thread and all the "what do I do in this situation!?" lols.

"Should I tip extra for having a baby at the table? The baby didn't eat or drink any of the restaurant food, but they did have to bring the high chair out to the table."

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Offline steve dave

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #43 on: July 31, 2014, 09:14:05 AM »
j rake, it would infuriate sys like nothing else you could do if you had, like, 10 kids. so take that into consideraiton.

Offline mocat

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #44 on: July 31, 2014, 09:18:19 AM »
if life expectancy was something normal like it was back in the 1800s (40 to 50 yrs old), it would be much easier for people in their 20s and 30s to stick it out and try to make their marriage work. but anymore, with life expectancy being what it is (many of us will live until we're 100), i think lots of couples cut their losses and move onto the next one.

i'm in favor of reforming our current divorce laws. if you stay with someone for 25-plus years and have no children under age 18, you should be able to opt out without penalty or threat of losing assets, income, etc. the idea of "till death do us part" is great, but again, that's when life expectancy was something reasonable. who here wants to marry someone at age 25 and live with them for 75 years. that's horrifying!

seems like a pretty sexist law amendment you're talking about

Offline Dugout DickStone

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #45 on: July 31, 2014, 09:37:53 AM »
Have 2 great bros who are divorced.  Both because they got married too young, IMO

Offline CNS

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #46 on: July 31, 2014, 09:55:58 AM »
Have 2 great bros who are divorced.  Both because they got married too young, IMO

How young is too young?  Do you mean that they were too imature(not meant in neg connotation) at the time?

Offline Emo EMAW

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #47 on: July 31, 2014, 09:57:07 AM »
True love is hard to find, guys.

Online Pete

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #48 on: July 31, 2014, 10:06:37 AM »
True love is hard to find, guys.

Not really sure that's the right recipe anyway.  Lot of Indians I know seem to be pretty darn happy with their arranged marriages.

Offline j-dub

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Re: The Divorce Thread
« Reply #49 on: July 31, 2014, 10:11:08 AM »
love is a choice. it's something you choose, it doesn't just happen to you. a lot of people don't get that and are too selfish for marriage.



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