Author Topic: Hilarious Things At Your Office  (Read 102532 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Mrs. Gooch

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 9975
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #875 on: August 25, 2015, 11:42:01 AM »
The term "mathematical masterbation" was just used in a meeting.

Offline michigancat

  • Contributor
  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • *****
  • Posts: 39516
  • change your stupid avatar.
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #876 on: September 02, 2015, 10:54:35 AM »
Quote from: company wide email
As soon as you are installed, start Instant Messaging (IMing: yep, it’s a verb!)

:lol:

Offline The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 9727
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #877 on: September 02, 2015, 10:59:26 AM »
did you get Lync, mich?
I think what my friend Mitch is trying to say is that true love is blind.

Offline michigancat

  • Contributor
  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • *****
  • Posts: 39516
  • change your stupid avatar.
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #878 on: September 02, 2015, 11:01:50 AM »

The Big Train

  • Guest
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #879 on: September 02, 2015, 01:43:59 PM »
like a week ago there was some livestock outside and like half the people at work went over and just watched them out the window for like 10 minutes

Offline Unruly

  • Oh so Unruly.
  • Katpak'r
  • ***
  • Posts: 2685
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #880 on: September 02, 2015, 02:25:41 PM »
This story started out preparing for :sdeek: but turned into :lol:

I walked by the window and glanced out and saw one of those itty bitty smart cars just sitting on the on ramp(no shoulder) of the interstate up here.

I was fully expecting to see someone blast this tiny car at 60 because they didn't see it so I kept watching. Time went by and one of the AAA trucks showed up behind it so I thought he was saved. The AAA dude walks up to the car, talks to the guy for a min, then gets back in his truck and drives off leaving the dude there.

I was absolutely puzzled and again, waited for the inevitable to happen.  5 mins later a trooper in an SUV shows up behind him, so again I think the guy is saved.  Sure enough the trooper talks to him for a min, then walks back to his car and gets in starting to pull off like he is leaving. The trooper was actually just re-positioning himself. He then eases his bumper into the rear of this rinky dink smart car and just starts pushing it down the highway like a boss.  It was great.
:dance:


Online puniraptor

  • Tastemaker
  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 20524
  • nostalgic reason
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #881 on: September 14, 2015, 04:48:48 PM »
a coworker (in the friend zone) sent me an email asking for my help with something and i replied with

"MICROSOFT EXCHANGE AUTO REPLY" in the subject

and "DELETED: MESSAGE CATEGORIZED AS SPAM" in the body

and he thought his message really got deleted as spam! lol what an awesome prank  :Lolrun:

Offline mocat

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 31937
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #882 on: September 16, 2015, 08:35:09 AM »
girl at work was just explaining to a coworker who had never been to a chiefs game before that she recommends wearing earplugs. her aspie score must be off the charts

Offline Mrs. Gooch

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 9975
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #883 on: September 16, 2015, 09:14:02 AM »
girl at work was just explaining to a coworker who had never been to a chiefs game before that she recommends wearing earplugs. her aspie score must be off the charts

Is your co-worker a baby? Because if so that is good advice.

Offline Rage Against the McKee

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 30005
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #884 on: September 16, 2015, 09:19:22 AM »

Offline mocat

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 31937
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #885 on: September 16, 2015, 09:21:07 AM »
http://www.earplugstore.com/nfl-ear-plugs-kansas-city-chiefs.html

Tell the coworker to give Linda a call.



Quote
Suggested Uses for NFL Team Ear Plugs:
Hand them out to your buddies at the tailgate party.

 :lol:

Offline felix rex

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 8909
  • Knows what Brent did
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #886 on: September 16, 2015, 12:31:26 PM »
"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

Online puniraptor

  • Tastemaker
  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 20524
  • nostalgic reason
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #887 on: September 16, 2015, 01:35:22 PM »

you should steal the sign so everybody tries to eat them  :Lolrun:

Offline Poster formerly known as jthutch

  • Katpak'r
  • ***
  • Posts: 1754
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #888 on: October 01, 2015, 02:35:36 PM »

Guys I'm going to be rich  :excited:



Kindly Accept & Acknowledge my Proposal!

I am Roy. Claude, I am an accountant with the Standard Chartered Bank in the United Kingdom, I am the accountant of a late client who passed away 4 yrs ago without living any trace or heir to a huge funds under my possession as his personal account office with my bank.

I understand that through Internet is not the best way to link up with you but because of the confidentiality which my proposal demands but i choose to reach you through this medium because i have sent same letter one month ago with no response from you, but I am not sure if it did get to you since I have not heard from you. Hence my reason for contacting you through the Internet which has been abused over the years.
I am contacting you again based on the fact that you bear same last name as the deceased hence i will like to put you in as the heir to the sum of £5,600, 000.00 sterling pounds. In the last testament of our deceased client name now withed and will be review upon your reply.

My major aim is to see that the funds is not confiscated by the bank or the Government because after 5 yrs without claim, the funds will be sent to the reserve bank as unclaimed hence i will like us to share the proceeds of the funds since i can not do this alone without your help as the heir to be.
Upon your acceptance to work with me in the profitable business idea , I will furnish you will all the necessary information and what is required to get this done within 14 working days .

Please do forward me your contact details for more information with regards to this business deal including your full names ,telephone numbers and your address and name of who you want as the next of kin to the funds and i will file in for the claim on your behalf to enable us begin this project.

I will expect to hear from you soonest.

Yours Truly,
Roy Claude

The Big Train

  • Guest
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #889 on: October 08, 2015, 09:51:41 AM »
just had a coworker tell me that what he does for a living is harder than being a professional athlete :lol:

Online puniraptor

  • Tastemaker
  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 20524
  • nostalgic reason
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #890 on: October 08, 2015, 11:25:45 AM »
just had a coworker tell me that what he does for a living is harder than being a professional athlete :lol:

"harder" could mean anything

the pro athletes work harder, but they definitely love what they do. it is probably "harder" for that guy to force himself to fax and photocopy that memo.

Offline Mrs. Gooch

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 9975
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #891 on: October 08, 2015, 11:36:12 AM »
just had a coworker tell me that what he does for a living is harder than being a professional athlete :lol:

"harder" could mean anything

the pro athletes work harder, but they definitely love what they do. it is probably "harder" for that guy to force himself to fax and photocopy that memo.

Yeah if I was physically capable of being a pro athlete I would probably like my pro athlete job more than I like my current job.

Offline 420seriouscat69

  • Don't get zapped! #zap
  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 55104
  • #FireBradHill!
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #892 on: October 08, 2015, 11:46:06 AM »
I just had a call from the leawood police department. "Sir, we have a reported accident with your 2002 pasat, etc." After listening to the VM I ran down to the parking lot (Thinking I did something wrong). Nope, a lady scraped/hit the side of my car with her rough ridin' beautiful Tahoe. I talked with the cops and said "My car is a piece of crap. I can probably just wash that off, I'm not worried about it, but i'll take her info". So I walk up to her car to apologize, that her nice car had to get dented in by my shitty car that was parked in between the lines (I know, sounds crazy) and guess what? It was a coworker.  :lol: She was so embarrassed. That poor thing, called the cops to report herself hitting my shitty car. I made sure she laughed about it when she got out of the car.
« Last Edit: October 08, 2015, 11:50:35 AM by WackyCat08 »

Offline Dr Rick Daris

  • Global Moderator
  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • *****
  • Posts: 22628
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #893 on: October 08, 2015, 01:49:45 PM »
I just had a call from the leawood police department. "Sir, we have a reported accident with your 2002 pasat, etc." After listening to the VM I ran down to the parking lot (Thinking I did something wrong). Nope, a lady scraped/hit the side of my car with her rough ridin' beautiful Tahoe. I talked with the cops and said "My car is a piece of crap. I can probably just wash that off, I'm not worried about it, but i'll take her info". So I walk up to her car to apologize, that her nice car had to get dented in by my shitty car that was parked in between the lines (I know, sounds crazy) and guess what? It was a coworker.  :lol: She was so embarrassed. That poor thing, called the cops to report herself hitting my shitty car. I made sure she laughed about it when she got out of the car.

that's a good guy thing to do right there

Offline wabash909

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 6346
  • scattered all over like seeds in the wind
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #894 on: October 08, 2015, 02:00:09 PM »
If somebody had done that to my 7 series I would have been super pissed.

Texas Christian University coach Gary Patterson has been hired as Kansas State's 34th football coach, multiple sources have confirmed to GoPowercat.com.  Patterson replaces Ron Prince, who was fired Wednesday. - Tim Fitzgerald   Nov, 7, 2008

Offline libstradamus

  • hyperactive on the :lol:
  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 49335
  • good dog
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #895 on: October 08, 2015, 02:04:11 PM »
I had a guy rear end me in a drive-thru a few weeks ago and he was so pissed with himself. I was just like chill brah and drove off without even looking to see if there was any damage to my car (there wasn't). I just didn't want to deal with it
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

Offline sys

  • Contributor
  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • *****
  • Posts: 32800
  • your reputation will never recover, nor should it.
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #896 on: October 08, 2015, 02:39:28 PM »
being able to give a "lol, no big deal, don't worry your pretty little head about it." to some poor distraught fellow human that has slightly damaged your vehicle is a great feeling and one of the real perks of driving old beat up vehicles.
we understand it better now that the american century is over and some of us sound more and more like serbs.

Offline wabash909

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 6346
  • scattered all over like seeds in the wind
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #897 on: October 08, 2015, 02:55:00 PM »
Wouldn't know the feeling. 
Texas Christian University coach Gary Patterson has been hired as Kansas State's 34th football coach, multiple sources have confirmed to GoPowercat.com.  Patterson replaces Ron Prince, who was fired Wednesday. - Tim Fitzgerald   Nov, 7, 2008

Offline chum1

  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • ****
  • Posts: 15511
  • Gucci Mane Book Reader
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #898 on: October 08, 2015, 04:02:48 PM »
One time I got rear ended, didn't see any damage, and told the guy I wasn't worried about it. Then, I changed my focus from my car to the guy and notice that he looked very grimy, was missing quite a few teeth, and was definitely over the limit. He said, "OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT. MY LICENSE IS SUSPENDED." He wanted to shake my hand. I just wanted to get out of the road.

Offline Kat Kid

  • Global Moderator
  • Pak'r Élitaire
  • *****
  • Posts: 16195
    • View Profile
Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #899 on: October 08, 2015, 04:55:00 PM »
In college I rear ended a campus cop (rolled forward in neutral on a stick shift trying to pick up something off the floor of my car) and he was like "this isn't even my car, I don't care."  He made sure I had a license and wasn't drunk and let me go.
@bentren