Author Topic: Hilarious Things At Your Office (Read 278817 times)

Mrs. Gooch · « **Reply #875 on:** August 25, 2015, 11:42:01 AM »

The term "mathematical masterbation" was just used in a meeting.

michigancat · « **Reply #876 on:** September 02, 2015, 10:54:35 AM »

Quote from: company wide email

As soon as you are installed, start Instant Messaging (IMing: yep, it’s a verb!)

The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep · « **Reply #877 on:** September 02, 2015, 10:59:26 AM »

did you get Lync, mich?

michigancat · « **Reply #878 on:** September 02, 2015, 11:01:50 AM »

Quote from: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on September 02, 2015, 10:59:26 AM

did you get Lync, mich?

nope!

The Big Train · « **Reply #879 on:** September 02, 2015, 01:43:59 PM »

like a week ago there was some livestock outside and like half the people at work went over and just watched them out the window for like 10 minutes

Unruly · « **Reply #880 on:** September 02, 2015, 02:25:41 PM »

This story started out preparing for

but turned into

I walked by the window and glanced out and saw one of those itty bitty smart cars just sitting on the on ramp(no shoulder) of the interstate up here.

I was fully expecting to see someone blast this tiny car at 60 because they didn't see it so I kept watching. Time went by and one of the AAA trucks showed up behind it so I thought he was saved. The AAA dude walks up to the car, talks to the guy for a min, then gets back in his truck and drives off leaving the dude there.

I was absolutely puzzled and again, waited for the inevitable to happen. 5 mins later a trooper in an SUV shows up behind him, so again I think the guy is saved. Sure enough the trooper talks to him for a min, then walks back to his car and gets in starting to pull off like he is leaving. The trooper was actually just re-positioning himself. He then eases his bumper into the rear of this rinky dink smart car and just starts pushing it down the highway like a boss. It was great.

puniraptor · « **Reply #881 on:** September 14, 2015, 04:48:48 PM »

a coworker (in the friend zone) sent me an email asking for my help with something and i replied with

"MICROSOFT EXCHANGE AUTO REPLY" in the subject

and "DELETED: MESSAGE CATEGORIZED AS SPAM" in the body

and he thought his message really got deleted as spam! lol what an awesome prank

mocat · « **Reply #882 on:** September 16, 2015, 08:35:09 AM »

girl at work was just explaining to a coworker who had never been to a chiefs game before that she recommends wearing earplugs. her aspie score must be off the charts

Mrs. Gooch · « **Reply #883 on:** September 16, 2015, 09:14:02 AM »

Quote from: mocat on September 16, 2015, 08:35:09 AM

girl at work was just explaining to a coworker who had never been to a chiefs game before that she recommends wearing earplugs. her aspie score must be off the charts

Is your co-worker a baby? Because if so that is good advice.

Rage Against the McKee · « **Reply #884 on:** September 16, 2015, 09:19:22 AM »

http://www.earplugstore.com/nfl-ear-plugs-kansas-city-chiefs.html

Tell the coworker to give Linda a call.

mocat · « **Reply #885 on:** September 16, 2015, 09:21:07 AM »

Quote from: Rage Against the McKee on September 16, 2015, 09:19:22 AM

http://www.earplugstore.com/nfl-ear-plugs-kansas-city-chiefs.html

Tell the coworker to give Linda a call.

Quote

Suggested Uses for NFL Team Ear Plugs:
Hand them out to your buddies at the tailgate party.

felix rex · « **Reply #886 on:** September 16, 2015, 12:31:26 PM »

https://twitter.com/the_felixrex/status/644201839483727872

puniraptor · « **Reply #887 on:** September 16, 2015, 01:35:22 PM »

Quote from: felix rex on September 16, 2015, 12:31:26 PM

https://twitter.com/the_felixrex/status/644201839483727872

you should steal the sign so everybody tries to eat them

Poster formerly known as jthutch · « **Reply #888 on:** October 01, 2015, 02:35:36 PM »

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The Big Train · « **Reply #889 on:** October 08, 2015, 09:51:41 AM »

just had a coworker tell me that what he does for a living is harder than being a professional athlete

puniraptor · « **Reply #890 on:** October 08, 2015, 11:25:45 AM »

Quote from: The Big Train on October 08, 2015, 09:51:41 AM

just had a coworker tell me that what he does for a living is harder than being a professional athlete

"harder" could mean anything

the pro athletes work harder, but they definitely love what they do. it is probably "harder" for that guy to force himself to fax and photocopy that memo.

Mrs. Gooch · « **Reply #891 on:** October 08, 2015, 11:36:12 AM »

Quote from: puniraptor on October 08, 2015, 11:25:45 AM

Quote from: The Big Train on October 08, 2015, 09:51:41 AM
just had a coworker tell me that what he does for a living is harder than being a professional athlete

"harder" could mean anything

the pro athletes work harder, but they definitely love what they do. it is probably "harder" for that guy to force himself to fax and photocopy that memo.

Yeah if I was physically capable of being a pro athlete I would probably like my pro athlete job more than I like my current job.

420seriouscat69 · « **Reply #892 on:** October 08, 2015, 11:46:06 AM »

I just had a call from the leawood police department. "Sir, we have a reported accident with your 2002 pasat, etc." After listening to the VM I ran down to the parking lot (Thinking I did something wrong). Nope, a lady scraped/hit the side of my car with her rough ridin' beautiful Tahoe. I talked with the cops and said "My car is a piece of crap. I can probably just wash that off, I'm not worried about it, but i'll take her info". So I walk up to her car to apologize, that her nice car had to get dented in by my shitty car that was parked in between the lines (I know, sounds crazy) and guess what? It was a coworker.

She was so embarrassed. That poor thing, called the cops to report herself hitting my shitty car. I made sure she laughed about it when she got out of the car.

Dr Rick Daris · « **Reply #893 on:** October 08, 2015, 01:49:45 PM »

Quote from: WackyCat08 on October 08, 2015, 11:46:06 AM

I just had a call from the leawood police department. "Sir, we have a reported accident with your 2002 pasat, etc." After listening to the VM I ran down to the parking lot (Thinking I did something wrong). Nope, a lady scraped/hit the side of my car with her rough ridin' beautiful Tahoe. I talked with the cops and said "My car is a piece of crap. I can probably just wash that off, I'm not worried about it, but i'll take her info". So I walk up to her car to apologize, that her nice car had to get dented in by my shitty car that was parked in between the lines (I know, sounds crazy) and guess what? It was a coworker. She was so embarrassed. That poor thing, called the cops to report herself hitting my shitty car. I made sure she laughed about it when she got out of the car.

that's a good guy thing to do right there

wabash909 · « **Reply #894 on:** October 08, 2015, 02:00:09 PM »

If somebody had done that to my 7 series I would have been super pissed.

star seed 7 · « **Reply #895 on:** October 08, 2015, 02:04:11 PM »

I had a guy rear end me in a drive-thru a few weeks ago and he was so pissed with himself. I was just like chill brah and drove off without even looking to see if there was any damage to my car (there wasn't). I just didn't want to deal with it

sys · « **Reply #896 on:** October 08, 2015, 02:39:28 PM »

being able to give a "lol, no big deal, don't worry your pretty little head about it." to some poor distraught fellow human that has slightly damaged your vehicle is a great feeling and one of the real perks of driving old beat up vehicles.

wabash909 · « **Reply #897 on:** October 08, 2015, 02:55:00 PM »

Wouldn't know the feeling.

chum1 · « **Reply #898 on:** October 08, 2015, 04:02:48 PM »

One time I got rear ended, didn't see any damage, and told the guy I wasn't worried about it. Then, I changed my focus from my car to the guy and notice that he looked very grimy, was missing quite a few teeth, and was definitely over the limit. He said, "OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT. MY LICENSE IS SUSPENDED." He wanted to shake my hand. I just wanted to get out of the road.

Kat Kid · « **Reply #899 on:** October 08, 2015, 04:55:00 PM »

In college I rear ended a campus cop (rolled forward in neutral on a stick shift trying to pick up something off the floor of my car) and he was like "this isn't even my car, I don't care." He made sure I had a license and wasn't drunk and let me go.