Author Topic: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People  (Read 2829776 times)

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Offline michigancat

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Offline Institutional Control

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5351 on: March 13, 2015, 11:55:52 AM »
FTR, if something bad happens to me, I don't really want Al Sharpton or Jessie Jackson to show up.

Offline michigancat

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5352 on: March 13, 2015, 11:57:14 AM »
FTR, if something bad happens to me, I don't really want Al Sharpton or Jessie Jackson to show up.
Not for this thread, but they usually only show up when they are asked by victims' families.

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5353 on: March 13, 2015, 12:10:02 PM »
FTR, if something bad happens to me, I don't really want Al Sharpton or Jessie Jackson to show up.
Not for this thread, but they usually only show up when they are asked by victims' families.

I would have no idea how to get ahold of Jessie Jackson or Al Sharpton to invite them if something bad happened to my family.  How does Average Joe go about doing that?
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Offline michigancat

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5354 on: March 13, 2015, 12:36:02 PM »
FTR, if something bad happens to me, I don't really want Al Sharpton or Jessie Jackson to show up.
Not for this thread, but they usually only show up when they are asked by victims' families.

I would have no idea how to get ahold of Jessie Jackson or Al Sharpton to invite them if something bad happened to my family.  How does Average Joe go about doing that?

email them? :dunno:

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5355 on: March 13, 2015, 01:09:26 PM »
FTR, if something bad happens to me, I don't really want Al Sharpton or Jessie Jackson to show up.
Not for this thread, but they usually only show up when they are asked by victims' families.

:lol: Yes, you need to "invite" them the same way you have to "invite" a vampire into your house, but that doesn't mean they don't ring the door bell.

"Hello, I understand your son was just killed by the police. Your son is black, right? Not jewish, right? Would you like us to come visit in your time of need?"
I've said it before and I'll say it again, K-State fans could have beheaded the entire KU team at midcourt, and K-State fans would be celebrating it this morning.  They are the ISIS of Big 12 fanbases.

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5356 on: March 13, 2015, 01:58:15 PM »

Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5357 on: March 13, 2015, 02:15:14 PM »
 :lol:

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5358 on: March 13, 2015, 02:19:35 PM »
 :D
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5359 on: March 13, 2015, 03:06:16 PM »

Offline Institutional Control

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5360 on: March 13, 2015, 03:36:27 PM »

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5361 on: March 13, 2015, 03:37:24 PM »
Protests=o

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5362 on: March 13, 2015, 03:38:44 PM »

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5363 on: March 13, 2015, 03:45:04 PM »
and it's terrible, but I laughed at them calling the guys "shitheads". Reminds me of a recurring joke on Norm MacDonald's show:


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Offline Institutional Control

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5365 on: March 13, 2015, 03:54:18 PM »
Quote
bahahahahahha
Quote
So Obama Is Walking Down the Street When Suddenly…
While walking down Pennsylvania Avenue one fine afternoon on his way back to the White House to sign executive orders banning certain types of ammunition and edible school lunches, President Barack Obama is tragically hit by a Prius and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and he’s met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Welcome to Heaven, Mr. Obama,” St. Peter says. “Before you settle in, it seems there’s a problem. We seldom see an American head of state around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” Obama tells St. Peter.

“If only it were that easy, Mr. Obama,” St. Peter clucks.  “I’d like to, I really would — but I have orders from higher-ups. What we’re going to do is spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where you spend your eternity.”

“Excuse me, St. Peter,” Obama says. “I’m pretty sure I would prefer Heaven, and I’m pretty sure I deserve Heaven. I was the first African-American president, and I saved America through hope, change, transparency … ”

“What about Solyndra?”

“Look, we all make mistak–”

“Or how about Jonathan Gruber?”

“WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, OKAY?!”

St. Peter sighed. “Well, regardless. I’m sorry, Mr. Obama, but rules are rules.” With that, he escorts Obama to the elevator to go down in to the depths of Avernus.

The doors open and Obama finds himself in the middle of his favorite golf course. In the distance is a club and in front of it are Frank Marshall Davis, Lyndon Baines Johnson and many of his Chicago compatriots who had passed on.

Furthermore, on the lawn chairs outside of the club, there were signs hung on the back that said the seats were reserved for several of his closest friends and allies, including Susan Rice, Bill Ayers and Rahm Emmanuel.

Everyone greets the deceased president and tells him what a wonderful job he did. Then, all of the Democrats begin talking about the great times they had getting rich off of those who voted for them.

The Devil comes by to meet Obama and orders lobster and caviar for everyone. They have a great time telling jokes and whiling away the hours drinking champagne. Finally, it’s time to go back up to Heaven.

St. Peter dropped Obama off in paradise, where he spends a good, if uneventful 24 hours strumming harps and spinning tales with Ronald Reagan and Abraham Lincoln on clouds. It’s fun, but not nearly as much his time in Hell.

When St. Peter comes back, he tells the president, “Well, there you have it. 24 hours in Hell, and 24 hours in Heaven. What’ll it be?”

“I know this sounds crazy,” Obama tells St. Peter. “However, it seems like Hell is better. I think I’ll go there.”

“As you wish,” St. Peter says. He sends him down on the elevator, and suddenly, he finds himself in the middle of a barren, scorched desert, covered in detritus and human waste. He sees everyone he was laughing with yesterday, dressed in rags and picking up trash in vain.

The Devil comes over to Obama and hands him a bag. “Get working, ye fool!” Satan says.

“I … I don’t get it,” Obama stammers. “Yesterday we were golfing and having a great time. What happened?”

The Devil lowers his head and clucks. “Silly Obama. You of all people should understand. Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted for us!” (H/T The Federalist Papers Project)

Please like and share on Facebook and Twitter if you agree that what makes this joke funny is how true it is.

Offline SdK

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5366 on: March 13, 2015, 04:00:06 PM »
Good joke

Offline Dugout DickStone

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5367 on: March 13, 2015, 05:02:07 PM »
LBJ always gets the shaft

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5368 on: March 13, 2015, 06:17:59 PM »
and it's terrible, but I laughed at them calling the guys "shitheads". Reminds me of a recurring joke on Norm MacDonald's show:



i literally laughed out loud when i read "3 SHITHEADS"
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

Offline michigancat

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5369 on: March 14, 2015, 11:20:46 PM »
advocacy


Offline Katpappy

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5370 on: March 15, 2015, 07:03:11 AM »
Quote
bahahahahahha
Quote
So Obama Is Walking Down the Street When Suddenly…
While walking down Pennsylvania Avenue one fine afternoon on his way back to the White House to sign executive orders banning certain types of ammunition and edible school lunches, President Barack Obama is tragically hit by a Prius and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and he’s met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Welcome to Heaven, Mr. Obama,” St. Peter says. “Before you settle in, it seems there’s a problem. We seldom see an American head of state around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” Obama tells St. Peter.

“If only it were that easy, Mr. Obama,” St. Peter clucks.  “I’d like to, I really would — but I have orders from higher-ups. What we’re going to do is spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where you spend your eternity.”

“Excuse me, St. Peter,” Obama says. “I’m pretty sure I would prefer Heaven, and I’m pretty sure I deserve Heaven. I was the first African-American president, and I saved America through hope, change, transparency … ”

“What about Solyndra?”

“Look, we all make mistak–”

“Or how about Jonathan Gruber?”

“WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, OKAY?!”

St. Peter sighed. “Well, regardless. I’m sorry, Mr. Obama, but rules are rules.” With that, he escorts Obama to the elevator to go down in to the depths of Avernus.

The doors open and Obama finds himself in the middle of his favorite golf course. In the distance is a club and in front of it are Frank Marshall Davis, Lyndon Baines Johnson and many of his Chicago compatriots who had passed on.

Furthermore, on the lawn chairs outside of the club, there were signs hung on the back that said the seats were reserved for several of his closest friends and allies, including Susan Rice, Bill Ayers and Rahm Emmanuel.

Everyone greets the deceased president and tells him what a wonderful job he did. Then, all of the Democrats begin talking about the great times they had getting rich off of those who voted for them.

The Devil comes by to meet Obama and orders lobster and caviar for everyone. They have a great time telling jokes and whiling away the hours drinking champagne. Finally, it’s time to go back up to Heaven.

St. Peter dropped Obama off in paradise, where he spends a good, if uneventful 24 hours strumming harps and spinning tales with Ronald Reagan  and Abraham Lincoln on clouds. It’s fun, but not nearly as much his time in Hell.

When St. Peter comes back, he tells the president, “Well, there you have it. 24 hours in Hell, and 24 hours in Heaven. What’ll it be?”

“I know this sounds crazy,” Obama tells St. Peter. “However, it seems like Hell is better. I think I’ll go there.”

“As you wish,” St. Peter says. He sends him down on the elevator, and suddenly, he finds himself in the middle of a barren, scorched desert, covered in detritus and human waste. He sees everyone he was laughing with yesterday, dressed in rags and picking up trash in vain.

The Devil comes over to Obama and hands him a bag. “Get working, ye fool!” Satan says.

“I … I don’t get it,” Obama stammers. “Yesterday we were golfing and having a great time. What happened?”

The Devil lowers his head and clucks. “Silly Obama. You of all people should understand. Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted for us!” (H/T The Federalist Papers Project)

Please like and share on Facebook and Twitter if you agree that what makes this joke funny is how true it is.
I know this is a joke, but gad damn, let's make it sound a little more real next time.  By the way, no one going to believe Ronald Reagan is in heaven.
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Offline michigancat

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5371 on: March 16, 2015, 01:51:47 PM »



Offline SdK

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5372 on: March 16, 2015, 02:06:40 PM »
Oh man.

Offline slobber

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Re: Political Facebook Posts/Tweets From People
« Reply #5373 on: March 16, 2015, 02:13:31 PM »

I feel like you could substitute "WAMEGO" for "FERGUSON".

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