33 deserves better than this, you guys.
He does. I consider 33 to be one of my dearest internet friends.
That's why I am going to give you one more solid (SOLID) business opportunity. I was holding this one back for myself, or possibly a male heir, but I will provide it here. DO NOT LET THIS rough ridin' IDEA LEAVE THIS BOARD.
I do not want to talk down to you guys, but many of you are not as smart or as well educated as me. Some of you are even "stupid" by the medical definition of the word. Do NOT take this feedback in the wrong way. It's a compliment, of sorts. After you read this crap, do not just fire off a god damn reply without thinking about it. Go have a smoke or a coffee and mull this crap over in your brains. When you have thought it through, come back here and share your insight.
THE BUSINESS:
IN-HOME ZOOS/BABY SITTING.Obviously we will brand them regionally (e.g. in Manhattan "Wildcat In-Home Zoos/Baby Sitting," in KC "Smokestack In-Home Zoos/Babysitting, etc.). THIS IS NOT A FRANCHISE MODEL! eff you if you think 33 and I are going to give up control of this son of a bitch.
THE MISSION STATEMENT:To be the most respected provider of In-Home Zoos/Babysitting services in the markets we service.
THE VALUE PROPOSITION:We draw upon two obvious needs: Capable animal shepherding, and quality child care. Combining these two features will provide the following:
1. Child entertainment: Kids love animals. Look at Rick Daris' kids. You get those little fuckers within three feet of a four legged animal and they basically crap themselves with excitement. Happy kids are easy to take care of, and their parents are satisfied customers. Look, I'm not here to price gouge anyone, but if you think we are are going to stop short of pricing this as a luxury item you can go eff yourselves right now.
2. Pet shepherding: Pets need to be shepherded (that means guided and cared for, definition provided for the dumb fucks who are lurking in this thread and have ZERO idea what I am driving at here). People are busy these days. Work days are longer, it's a god damn global economy, they need help with their pets.
You take Sys for example. This rough ridin' guy has like 20 snakes and he's all over the rough ridin' Mexican world visiting Mexicans and speaking to them in their native tongue. He lives for that kind of crap. Who takes care of his snakes? Maybe a snake sitter? Maybe. But, why use a run of the mill snake sitter when you can pair that snake (in an attractive and eye popping display) with a kid (e.g. Kat Kid's baby) in the kid's rough ridin' home. You ever see a little kid not like a snake? No. You try and push a snake on a grown man, most of the time that crap is not going to work, but kids love the crap out of animals and snakes are animals. Sys gets home, guess what? That snake had the rough ridin' time of his life, amazing the children and rough ridin' feeling valued and appreciated while Sys was gone. Happy kid, happy animal...that is a synergy, and you can look that up.
RISKS:1. Pricing:I will be upfront about this, I have NOT done the research on the elasticity of demand on this service offering. Gut feel, you could probably charge nearly anything you wanted, but start with like a grand per day or something. Don't do the rough ridin' $999 crap, or you will come off looking like a noob.
2. Unexpected Kid Side-EffectsYou put a boy child next to a snake all day, and you basically ensured that he will not be gay. We can all agree on that. But, what if it is a girl child? You are going to turn her into a lesbian if you don't watch your ass. If the parents are golfers, this is not a bad thing, and you may be able to up-sell them on that.
Obviously there are still a few things to work out. Again, all of you in your terms and conditions of joining this site consented to a non-disclosure. If I read about this crap on the Phog or the other site ("the other site") I will rough ridin' come unglued.
