neighbor stories

[Trim]

He'd have spent the cash on bud light.  Don't worry about it.

[steve dave]

yeah, you kept him off the road when he would have went to get more bud light.  probably saved lives. 

[Emo EMAW]

I worry about my home value though. 

When it was getting really rough I guess the wife and kids "went to the lake" (went to go stay with relatives).  Middle of the day he came over and asked me to help him look in his house for his cellphone because he was nearly deaf.  Call, listen, call, listen, walk around, call, listen, nothing.  House is a dump, beer bottles/cans everywhere.  He then asks me to drive him to the gas station because he had walked there (drunk) and maybe he lost his phone on the way.  Do that, nothing.  BTW, he's wasted this whole time.  Then a few hours later he calls me and I answer and he's like "who's this?"  Tell him it's me, he says "who?  I see a lot of missed calls on my phone from you."  I say "hey it's me your neighbor remember you lost your phone?"  And he's drunk and embarrassed and that was the last I ever saw him or talked to him.

[CNS]

Do you think he cleaned your driveway thinking it was his because he was completely crap faced, just got in a fight with the wife about being crap faced again, and took to the drive as an excuse to get away from her for 5 lousy minutes, only to work through the snow and realize he just hit the wrong drive, then went inside and used the fact that he was a good guy, and look what he just did for a neighbor for nothing, as an argument to tell her to go eff herself that he isn't a monster or anything, and that it was just a few beers and that she needs to lay the hell off and quit talking to her sister so much?

Also, if you gave him the cash, she would have just gotten half of it.

[CNS]

I worry about my home value though. 

When it was getting really rough I guess the wife and kids "went to the lake" (went to go stay with relatives).  Middle of the day he came over and asked me to help him look in his house for his cellphone because he was nearly deaf.  Call, listen, call, listen, walk around, call, listen, nothing.  House is a dump, beer bottles/cans everywhere.  He then asks me to drive him to the gas station because he had walked there (drunk) and maybe he lost his phone on the way.  Do that, nothing.  BTW, he's wasted this whole time.  Then a few hours later he calls me and I answer and he's like "who's this?"  Tell him it's me, he says "who?  I see a lot of missed calls on my phone from you."  I say "hey it's me your neighbor remember you lost your phone?"  And he's drunk and embarrassed and that was the last I ever saw him or talked to him.

How did this story just come out now?  I mean, this thread has been around for a while.

[Emo EMAW]

Don't really think about those things, CNS Casey, but it's an interesting scenario.  I do know that his wife came onto another neighbor and he denied her and she's a crazy bitch.

I've been on a lot of bulletin boards but this is the first where it's pretty normal to bump old as eff threads instead of just starting a new one, and these aren't start-a-new-thread kinda things.

[chum1]

My initial intent with this thread was to do stories for all my neighbors.  I'll have to get busy.

[CNS]

My dog got out today and my neighbor chased it down, called me at work, and held my dog until I was able to get home and pick it up(abt 30mins).   

[ben ji]

I have an old man across the street who comes outside in his robe everyday at 7:45am to get his paper. He seems like a baller.

Neighbors on 1 side have a 8-10 yr old girl who likes playing soccer alot. Sometimes I will find soccer balls in my backyard and throw them back in their yard. They also have a lab that I picked up from the vet one time when they were out of town. I occassionally play fetch with it from over the fence...but only for less than 5 minutes...I was informed that it has a bad heart and if you play with it to much it can have a seizure.....

Neighbors on the other side are about 30 with a newborn, I never really talk to them but they seem nice 

[michigancat]

my neighbors are all boring rich people now.

[Rage Against the McKee]

my neighbors are all boring rich people now.

t's and p's.

[CNS]

my neighbors are all boring rich people now.

Rich people have good things to borrow.  Like boats and stuff

[michigancat]

my neighbors are all boring rich people now.

Rich people have good things to borrow.  Like boats and stuff

they spent it all on their house and only worry about their property value.

[Bloodfart]

My neighbor to the north is a widow retired school teacher.  She is very nice, but you can tell she would dominate you if she had to.  She has passed several petitions around town for various small towny stuff.  I've never been inside her house but her son tells me she is a hoarder.  Paths through the house and everything. 

[steve dave]

My neighbor to the north is a widow retired school teacher.  She is very nice, but you can tell she would dominate you if she had to.  She has passed several petitions around town for various small towny stuff.  I've never been inside her house but her son tells me she is a hoarder.  Paths through the house and everything.

good grief. sounds like the creepiest neighbor so far. 

[slobber]

my neighbors are all boring rich people now.

Rich people have good things to borrow.  Like boats and stuff

they spent it all on their house and only worry about their property value.

Then they are not rich.

[Bloodfart]

My neighbor to the north is a widow retired school teacher.  She is very nice, but you can tell she would dominate you if she had to.  She has passed several petitions around town for various small towny stuff.  I've never been inside her house but her son tells me she is a hoarder.  Paths through the house and everything.

 

good grief. sounds like the creepiest neighbor so far. 

One time she called me at work to tell me a bunch of "mexicans" were in my backyard.  I calmed her down and told her they were carpenters and just redoing my basement.

[michigancat]

my neighbors are all boring rich people now.

Rich people have good things to borrow.  Like boats and stuff

they spent it all on their house and only worry about their property value.

Then they are not rich.

yeah, I realized that after I posted. but they live in expensive houses.

[mocat]

Do you think he cleaned your driveway thinking it was his because he was completely crap faced, just got in a fight with the wife about being crap faced again, and took to the drive as an excuse to get away from her for 5 lousy minutes, only to work through the snow and realize he just hit the wrong drive, then went inside and used the fact that he was a good guy, and look what he just did for a neighbor for nothing, as an argument to tell her to go eff herself that he isn't a monster or anything, and that it was just a few beers and that she needs to lay the hell off and quit talking to her sister so much?

Also, if you gave him the cash, she would have just gotten half of it.

This is maybe the funniest post i have ever read ever. I like fell out of my chair at work. Man great work casey 

[EMAWican]

Was talking to one of my neighbors (John) in the duplex down from me the other day.  John was telling me about how their duplex neighbor (Mike) got pak'd one night and proceeded to take a shower... in John's duplex.  John's wife left the door unlocked for him since he works the late shift and woke up to the sound of the shower running.  She wandered in there expecting to see John and it was Mike   

John and his wife aren't going to press charges or anything, but good golly that could've turned into a pickle.     

[WillieWatanabe]

at our last place, our neighbors would park in our parking lot randomly, and park shitty too i might add. Talked to them about it, they didn't seem to get it. Finally had to tow one of theirs one time,(they parked right in front of the "don't park here because you will get towed" sign. Turns out they called/emailed our landlords alot complaining about us. Landlords DGAF. Curious to meet our new neighbors

[yoga-like_abana]

most of these are terrific, lets hear some more..

[Trim]

http://deadspin.com/5933874/a-delorean-hovercraft-appeared-at-last-nights-giants+rockies-game

[Bloodfart]

http://deadspin.com/5933874/a-delorean-hovercraft-appeared-at-last-nights-giants+rockies-game

  Your neighbor is pretty badass.

[Kat Kid]

Situation- Tell tale heart.

Old lady named Jean is in a cul-de-sac in the neighborhood.  She will open her garage door and sit in a folding chair with two or three folding chairs and a table next to her.  Other old ladies come sit with Jean as she holds court and describes every single goings on in the neighborhood.  Jean is not shy about inviting people walking to come by.  Every time I am walking the dog and stop by the following happens: 1) offers dog an enormous dog treat 2) my dog eats it too quick and does this hyperventilation thing 3) Jean says we should get that checked out by a vet, did you know your next door neighbor is a vet? 4) Jean says she goes to church with my mom, invites me to attend church 5) Jean mentions the weather 6) Jean says she has an email she got once that she printed out and hung in her living room that says "When God was creating the Earth he had created all the mountains and valleys and oceans so he set out to create the most peaceful, beautiful place.  It had blue skies, golden prairies, lush green meadows and the nicest people you have ever met.  Then he put Missouri to the right, Oklahoma below it, Colorado to the left....hahahaha."

I now walk my dog directly out the back door to avoid Jean and then when I occasionally feel guilty about it I consider how awkward it will be if I go stop by at this point after ducking her for a month and a half.