Dear John Currie,
For the last five years
Your hoops program has been run by a thug
But on Tuesday, he ditched you
So now it's time to hire Doug
He's a recognizable face
He'll be a real hit with the fans
Best of all, the athletes he recruits
Don't leave their wire receipts in trash cans
Doug is a winner
Something you've never been
Because you swim in snake oil
And tweet about equestrian
I've got plenty more rhymes
And lots of money to donate
But if you hire Tad or some other guy
I'll spend it on a Fire John Currie Billboard
Best of luck with the hire!