Not sure if this has been posted, but I really don't give a damn.
If the Big 12 were countries…
Texas is like the USA - Wealthy, talented, and with seemingly endless
resources. They have a big ego, but are deserving of it because they win
at almost everything they do. Others often despise them out of jealousy.
Their money and wealth make the world go round, and everyone wants a piece.
Texas A&M is like China - Big, powerful, and rival of Texas (USA). They
live in a male dominated society, and thus their women are not allowed
to be cheerleaders. Their money and power also make the world go round.
Oklahoma is like Mexico - Having no resources of their own, they have to
invade the border of Texas (USA) in order to survive.
Oklahoma State is like Venezuela - There wasn't a whole lot there to
start with, but without the oil money they would be nothing there at
all. They have a crazy guy in charge who often shouts nonsense when he
speaks.
Baylor is like Israel - A feisty little religious enclave that could not
survive without Texas (USA). However, if provoked, they WILL kill you.
Colorado is like Canada - A small, unimportant bastion of liberals who
are not very good at anything. Like Canada, they are bad at all sports
other than hockey. Like Canada, they produce no GDP.
Nebraska is like Russia - A former super power who frequently stirs up
trouble because they still think they are a super power. Nebraska
(Russia) thinks it is the equal of Texas (USA), and pouts in public when
it doesn't get its baby way. When they do not get their way, they take
their ball and go home. Go big RED!
Missouri is like Iran and North Korea - a definite member of the axis of
evil. Conniving and loyal to no one, you cannot believe anything they
say (you can only watch in amazement at what they do). Like Iran and
North Korea, they are hated and despised by everyone--even the Swiss.
Iowa State is like Switzerland - Boring, unimportant, not good at much
of anything, but neutral and without enemies. Even the Hawkeyes like the
Swiss.
Texas Tech is like Australia - Big, dusty, and a Texas version of "down
under". Cowboys like Aussie's drink a lot of beer and carry weapons.
KU is like France - KU is full of socialists and they think they are
better than everyone else. This high opinion of themselves is not shared
by anyone else in the world. Like France, KU cannot be trusted or
counted on during a time of need.
K-State is like Ireland - A gritty, feisty, over-achieving little
country with a large inferiority complex. What they lack in resources,
they make up by determination and people. Others can't find them on a
map, but they like them because they are fun, friendly, and like to
drink beer.
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