Sometime tomorrow, I plan to write the KSU "what this t-shirt is saying" audio. Our t-shirt will of course say "EMAW".
Feel free to include your own submissions in this thread.
My submission. I would post an illustration of the unis, but phtobucket doesn't like me now...
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This uniform is more than a uniform. It includes the helmet and pads worn underneath.
This jersey is more than a jersey. It says
We are Wildcats. It says that we are angry, purple-wearing, hamstring-cutting balls of furry fury. Not literally. We thought about putting the word “Wildcats” right above the numbers on the front, but that’s just not stylish at all. It's not actually written out, and the jersey doesn't talk, but nonetheless, the underlying sentiment implied by this jersey is that we are Wildcats. We are not a stupid grazing animal, nor are we a wagon that gets hitched to stupid grazing animals. We are not a stiff breeze, a fagical bird, or an unspeakable sexual act done with a crop. We are Wildcats.
This helmet is more than a helmet. It is the bumpy noggin of a Pachycephalosaurus that will bonk you into next week. The facemask has blood dripping from the fangs. Even our kickers’ facemasks have blood dripping from them. Yet we aren’t even forced to leave the field of play to wipe it off, because the blood of our victims is always there.
These gloves are more than gloves. They have retractable claws and a reservoir of stick-um so advanced that even Lamark Brown can make a one-handed catch without bobbling the ball. Their booger resistant surface renders them useless to players and coaches of the unmentionable schools east on I-70. They can only be put on when flashing the Lynch-Mob sign. Sho-nuff.
This codpiece is more than a codpiece. It is a titanium-alloy scrotal-sanctuary that can withstand up to three of SteveDave’s nut-smashing punches without suffering significant structural damage. The D-ring that supports it is so light that it takes five seconds to fall to earth from belt height. Rest assured that your EMAWrection will be fully protected, to ensure the EMAW genes will be passed into future generations. Your ballz will age with wisdom and glory.
This uniform is more than a uniform. It says we mean business. Like a fireman, or somebody’s dad. It says
listen up biatches -- we are Wildcats. All of us – every damn one.
EMAW!!!