Wiping -
Sitting down, front to back. I layer the toilet paper to achieve maximum cushion between fingers and bunghole. I do this two to three times, depending on the volume. If needed, use those hemorrhoid pads that have witch hazel. Sometimes, insert the pad in to the rectum to achieve maximum cleanliness.
Wiping in a bad situation (at home) -
i've used newspapers, magazines, toilet paper that I discarded because I blew my nose in it (use the other side), or wipe with hand with sink running and rinse hand after each wipe. Or I would just drop the pants, lean over with ass in the air as to not disrupt the poo, and waddle over to the linen closet where we keep the extra toilet paper. I would try this one first, the others only if we were out of TP.
Wiping in a bad situation (public place)
Aforementioned sink strategy, if in a private room. Also paper towels usually work. If in a public stall, i've actually had to wait for everyone to leave the bathroom, zip up and go in to the next stall and then wipe. This is devastating and ruins the day for obvious reasons, but it is about the only thing you can do. I've thought about wiping with paper currency but decided against that.
RED ALERT STRATEGYBusy public bathroom, no TP, nothing around you to use, can't escape without imminent embarrassment, here are the two strategies i've designed:
1. Flush the toilet, stick hand in the water and use the water to cleanse yourself. Air dry as best as possible. This will not work in pit toilets or port-a-potties. If you are in one of those, refer to strategy two.
2. Take off pants, and underwear. Wipe yourself with your underwear, and discard. Go commando the rest of the day.