Let's Talk About Wiping.

[PCR]

I haven't had a solid one in years, so the key strategy is WET TP.  Or start eating Bran Flakes. 

[ew2x4]

Thought the stand up wipe was just a kid thing but had an incident at work to make believe otherwise.  So, one day I'm at work taking a dump in the office crapter. (Hate that btw, usually will wait to go home at lunch.) Anyhoo, I'm using the handicap stall because it's much roomier and people can't really tell who's in there because of how it's constructed and low and behold someone comes in and gets in the stall next to me. (There are only two stalls.) I'm all because that's just not cool.  Well, the guy is like done in a minute but I see from his feet that he gets up, turns to the toilet and starts wiping.  I'm thinking wtf? To make it worse, after he's done wiping, he gets closer to the toilet and takes a little squirt.  Then I'm really . I do a shoe check because I have to find out who the quad is in our office.  Walk around all day barging in to as many offices as possible to try and find this guy and pick his brain. Never find him.  I'm kind of thankful in a way but always thought that that dude would have some stories to tell.   

Story #2 is about my 3 1/2 old son.  He has been potty trained for around 6 months.  Didn't have any problem in the cross over.  Anyway, when he is done taking a dump, he will call for Dad to come wipe him.  I'll walk in the bathroom and he'll be on all fours with his ass in the air all ready for his cleaning.  I've never had a problem with this because he is in the process of doing it himself but have always thought to myself; "wouldn't it be nice if life was always this easy, having someone wipe your butt for you on a daily basis." Then I think. "Yep, I bet this is how rich Saudi oil barons' live."

Still think this is a weird thread.

You should join my facebook club- A.P.O.C.T. Always poop on company time. Awkwardness is always acceptable when you get paid to crap.

[slucat]

now that's just nasty

[CatsNShocks]

This thread is too lol for work 

That is very true.  People keep walking by and giving me funny looks.

I'm frickin' crying...keep it up.

I kinda hover, back to front, keep "workin' it" til it's clean...with visual inspections to confirm. Even if that means wetting one down once in awhile.

[The1BigWillie]

Sit, front to back, smell tp, repeat as needed.

[Pete]

Chicks have it soooo easy.

First, they are ALL in stalls in public restrooms, so you don't automatically assume they are pooping.

Second, they carry purses.  If I had a purse, I'd carry baby wipes.  Have you ever wiped with baby wipes?  Fantastic.  Zero side effects....aside from having no way to carry around baby wipes without a purse.

Third, less ginch hair on average.

[Pete]

Sit, front to back, smell tp, repeat as needed.

Is that common?  I have never done that.

[LMAO]

LMAO is LMAOing on this topic.  Get it, it's my NAME and I'm LMAOing!!!

[Saulbadguy]

Thoughts -

Is there nothing worst than being in dress clothes and having to take a crap in a bathroom with no air conditioning, on a 105 degree day?  That is the very definition of hell.

[LimestoneOutcropping]

Thoughts -

Is there nothing worst than being in dress clothes and having to take a crap in a bathroom with no air conditioning, on a 105 degree day?  That is the very definition of hell.

Shirt off my man.  Costanza style.

[ew2x4]

I have found the proper technique to be your standard back to front proceeded by a font to back to plow off turtle heads. If there's a ground hog, going back to front could spell disaster.

[Rick Daris]

Sit, front to back, smell tp, repeat as needed.

Is that common?  I have never done that.

I can only guess that he was just hoping to foster more conversation with that little nugget. Probably deserves a thread of its own if he's serious.

[steve dave]

Sit, front to back, smell tp, repeat as needed.

Is that common?  I have never done that.

I can only guess that he was just hoping to foster more conversation with that little nugget. Probably deserves a thread of its own if he's serious.

Gross imHo.  You ever taste?  Because you're pretty close right there.

[pwrcat1]

Sit, front to back, smell tp, repeat as needed.

Is that common?  I have never done that.

I can only guess that he was just hoping to foster more conversation with that little nugget. Probably deserves a thread of its own if he's serious.

Gross imHo.  You ever taste?  Because you're pretty close right there.

 

[The1BigWillie]

Sit, front to back, smell tp, repeat as needed.

Is that common?  I have never done that.

I can only guess that he was just hoping to foster more conversation with that little nugget. Probably deserves a thread of its own if he's serious.

Gross imHo.  You ever taste?  Because you're pretty close right there.

That's just nasty dude.  Taste?? No way.  More people do it than care to admit it.  I also like so smear it on the walls. 

[Brock Landers]

  I'll walk in the bathroom and he'll be on all fours with his ass in the air all ready for his cleaning. 

Bro you have got to wean your boy of this habit ASAP!!

Still think this is a weird thread.

QFT

[I_have_purplewood]

  I'll walk in the bathroom and he'll be on all fours with his ass in the air all ready for his cleaning. 

Bro you have got to wean your boy of this habit ASAP!!

No doubt.  This is how they teach them to do it at his "Christian" daycare.  Sweet Jesus, what have I done??  Does make me feel better knowing it's an all female staff.  I think.

[ew2x4]

  I'll walk in the bathroom and he'll be on all fours with his ass in the air all ready for his cleaning. 

Bro you have got to wean your boy of this habit ASAP!!

No doubt.  This is how they teach them to do it at his "Christian" daycare.  Sweet Jesus, what have I done??  Does make me feel better knowing it's an all female staff.  I think.

Are there any openings?   

[Kat Kid]

Sit, front to back, smell tp, repeat as needed.

Is that common?  I have never done that.

I can only guess that he was just hoping to foster more conversation with that little nugget. Probably deserves a thread of its own if he's serious.

Gross imHo.  You ever taste?  Because you're pretty close right there.

That's just nasty dude.  Taste?? No way.  More people do it than care to admit it.  I also like so smear it on the walls. 

Alright here's where the KK finally LOLL'D

[I_have_purplewood]

Sit, front to back, smell tp, repeat as needed.

Is that common?  I have never done that.

I can only guess that he was just hoping to foster more conversation with that little nugget. Probably deserves a thread of its own if he's serious.

Gross imHo.  You ever taste?  Because you're pretty close right there.

That's just nasty dude.  Taste?? No way.  More people do it than care to admit it.  I also like so smear it on the walls. 

Alright here's where the KK finally LOLL'D

Ahhh yes, chimp humor.

[Brock Landers]

Sit, front to back, smell tp, repeat as needed.

Is that common?  I have never done that.

I can only guess that he was just hoping to foster more conversation with that little nugget. Probably deserves a thread of its own if he's serious.

Gross imHo.  You ever taste?  Because you're pretty close right there.

That's just nasty dude.  Taste?? No way.  More people do it than care to admit it.  I also like so smear it on the walls. 

Alright here's where the KK finally LOLL'D

This thread is so F'd up it makes the Taint Push thread seem like a discussion about the weather.  Still enjoyable though!! 

[SkinnyBenny]

Everybody, first of all: you're welcome.

Second, I have never thought of this wet TP thing.  I feel like I typically do a pretty decent job myself with the dry stuff so why should I carry around a bunch of wet naps?

[TheShocker]

Everybody, first of all: you're welcome.

Second, I have never thought of this wet TP thing.  I feel like I typically do a pretty decent job myself with the dry stuff so why should I carry around a bunch of wet naps?

Use one after you're finished with the dry stuff and you'll see why.

[Saulbadguy]

Everybody, first of all: you're welcome.

Second, I have never thought of this wet TP thing.  I feel like I typically do a pretty decent job myself with the dry stuff so why should I carry around a bunch of wet naps?

Wet toilet paper just disintegrates, I have no idea what these a'holes are talking about.

[pwrcat1]

Everybody, first of all: you're welcome.

Second, I have never thought of this wet TP thing.  I feel like I typically do a pretty decent job myself with the dry stuff so why should I carry around a bunch of wet naps?

Use one after you're finished with the dry stuff and you'll see why.

qfmft!  wet tp truly is a godsend!

[TheShocker]

Everybody, first of all: you're welcome.

Second, I have never thought of this wet TP thing.  I feel like I typically do a pretty decent job myself with the dry stuff so why should I carry around a bunch of wet naps?

Wet toilet paper just disintegrates, I have no idea what these a'holes are talking about.

Not wet TP, flushable wet wipes. They're like an angel licking your butthole clean.

[pwrcat1]

Everybody, first of all: you're welcome.

Second, I have never thought of this wet TP thing.  I feel like I typically do a pretty decent job myself with the dry stuff so why should I carry around a bunch of wet naps?

Wet toilet paper just disintegrates, I have no idea what these a'holes are talking about.

Not wet TP, flushable wet wipes. They're like an angel licking your butthole clean.

damp tp will also work, unless you got it from f*cking aldis or something... but if thats the case you're better off using the wrapper from a pack of Fruitstripe. jmo. 

[GoldbrickGangBoss]

Standing is the only way to do it. Be a man, go the extra mile, and actually stand up to do your business.

All bathrooms should have loud music playing as well, just to cover up the blood-curdling screams that can take place during some insane craps.

[SkinnyBenny]

I used to have a bit of a phobia when it came to turding in public.  Then I got my iPod.

The trick?  Crank up DVDA's "America! &@#% Yeah!" in your headphones, close your eyes, drown out the outside world, and drop mad chocolate bombz like never before.

[RonLongshaft]

  I'll walk in the bathroom and he'll be on all fours with his ass in the air all ready for his cleaning. 

you better break that habit. im not real sure that would go over so well with the friends in about 15 years as just a standing wipe would