August 31st W. Kentucky
WTF??! OH HELL NO! Those F'ING HILLTOPPERS JUST DEFILED OUR BRAND NEW FIELDTURF!! OMG they scored points! We didn't top 50! This is going to suck. Why the f do people like Marc Dunn? Isn't he Mormon or something?
September 7th Lousiana-Monroe
Hells yeah! Sproles baby. He
is awesome! Snyder is a retard for burning his redshirt last year! Snyder. You made your point. Put in the black dude @ QB.
September 14th E. IllinoisOH NOOOES! 13 points! Tony Romo! Our defense was b1tched. The two point conversion thing was cool. Thomas Hill is going to be awesome! He's like 6'8"!11! Does he play b-ball? Pierce looks scary/pissed. Marc Dunn? Seriously?
September 21st USC
I HATE PAULAMALU! I HATE PALAMALU! I HATE THAT SUN OF A B1TCH! OMG we are going to lose PULL DUNN! YANK HIM! Ok, cool. O my God. R U SERIOUS ELL? RIGHT BEFORE HALF TIME???!!! POLAMALU!!!

NEWMAN! LOUDER!
LOOOOOUDER YOU OLD frackERS!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! WE PWN3D SC!
October 5th @CO
Why do we always start on the road? Oh well! Road trip fatty! Want to get the breakfast buffet? (fatty) HELLS YEAH! *Already eating the delic. fried mini tados (me) you know it isn't free right? (fatty with mouth open and eyes bulging) NO! (me) yeah it is like $9 (fatty) can you get your dad to buy a program for me? My budget is busted.
Hey! Let's go in early!! OMG!! Did you hear what Daniel Davis just said? LOL!! Hey!! Let's go greet the players as they come out of the tunnel!! (fatty w/ camera) TERRY PIERCE!! HEY TERRY, HIGH FIVE! OMG! HE JUST DISLOCATED MY SHOULDER (fatty writhing in pain) WTF?? MY ARM HURTS!
We are totally going to pwn them, they lost to Fresno by like a bagillion and this turd 3rd string backup is starting. NO MORE PISSAVENTO! Remember when Bradley VanPelt punched the guy with the football? LOLLLZZ!! I love him! (fatty) Me too! LOLLZ!
Why do we always go down by two touchdowns??!! ELL GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!!! YESSSSSSS!!!
Why is Newman not on that one dude? Oh no. Wtf? Wtf? Oh seriously? Oh God.
TOUCHDOWN, CHRISSSS BROWN.
(OH OH OH OH-OH. OH OH OH OH-OH-OH-OH-OH. OH-OH OH-OH. Bummmph Bummmph Bummmmph Bummmph (Repeat))
Goddammit. This is going to suck. Why does Snyder always lose to Gary Barnett? We should have known he was going to out coach us with an extra week off. I did like that one play where Ell pretended to give the ball to T Wilson and then runs with it. That is cool.
October 12th oSuBowman, they are going to be good! Nervous, nervous, nervous. OMG LOL! THEY SUCK! We totally injured their whole team! LOL! Terry Pierce is a beast.
October 19th tuHARLEY DAY! WHOOOOOHOOOO! They are going to be
so intimidated! Mack Brown is a retard. Why is he starting Simms? WTF? What a moron! LOL!! Dude. What happened to our offense? WTF! Blocked? NOOOO! WTF? OMG! OMG! HE CAUGHT IT!! WE CAN DO THIS!!!! NO! NO! WTF? NEWMAN IN THE ENDZONE!!! WTF?? NO! BLOCKED? NO!! WTF?!! WHY IS EVERY MOTHERfrackING KICK BLOCKED!?

!!
October 27th @BaylorWYATTVISION
November 2nd @kuLOL! YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM IS REALLY BAD AT FOOTBALL!! DO YOU SEE MY HAT? IT SEZ: "SCREW ku!" LOL!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT KIRK HENRICH! NO, I DON'T CARE! LOOK AT YOUR FAT COACH! HE'S REALLY FAT! OMG! LOL! A SAFETY! A TD! THEIR PUNTER! LOL! SPROLES! LOL! MARC DUNN AN INT! LOL!! Let's hope Sproles doesn't go down. Alsup is teh suck!
November 9th Iowa StOMG! Do you see that little kid with the Seneca Wallace jersey? OMG! LOL! HE JUST DID THE HEISMAN POSE!! LOL! LET'S CURSE AT HIM! LOL!! WHERE'S THE HEISMAN POSE NOW B!TCH??! THAT'S RIGHT CRY YOU LITTLE frackER! THAT'S RIGHT DAD I'M TALKING crap TO YOUR GRADE SCHOOLER! NO,
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY CLASS! LOL!
November 16th NebraskaOMG! Jamaal Lord is teh suck! Nebraska sucks! Let's beat them!! YESSSSSSSSS! OMG ROBERSON 99 YARDS OMG!! YESSSSS!!! SUCK IT!!! LOL!!! YESSSS!!! LOL!!!11 Now we just need Colorado to lose to Seneca! COME ON SENECA! COME ON B!TCH!
November 23rd @MULOL! MU SUCKS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Why do we always get shafted. Colorado should suck! Why are they playing Oregon? Why aren't we getting an at large bid? Why aren't we going to the Cotton Bowl? WTF?!! PLAYOFF!!! WE BEAT USC!! WTF??!!
December 27th ASUELL! WTF?? Is this going to be '98 again? Except MORE frustrating? Seriously. WTF? Dirk Koetter is a mad genius! Did he talk to Gary Barnett? Oh come on baby! We NEVER come from behind to win in the 4th. OH COME ON BABY! OMG! EVANS?? WTF? LOL! YESSSSSS!!! ELL DANCE!!! LOL!!