I am so jealous of people who are proud of their home towns. That must feel great.
In my dreams, I dream of a disaster that renders the entire city of Topeka uninhabitable, yet kills no one. Then, all the Topekans move to other cities and live enriched, happy lives and are glad as eff that they left that stinking hell hole.
Then, they build a fence around Topeka and send rapists, pedophiles, and murderers there to serve their time.
To sum up, Topeka is to America as poop is to things that are not poop.