Advice for a first time Expectant Father

[Yard Dog]

You're going to be tempted or your wife to buy a bunch of overpriced crap that you either won't use ever or seldom do. Do not do that.

We just started looking in the secondary market for a Snoo. I don't think the kid needs crazy overpriced "activities" but I am intrigued to spend money on the things that help protect our sanity.

[Yard Dog]

have a plan for sleep training and schedules. it's not always going to go according to plan, but it's nice to have some sort of plan to fall back on. there are tons of examples out there, but Taking Cara Babies is one you can follow on instagram and start getting acquainted with the language.

Solid advice - terminology is definitely important when you need to google something in a hurry. 

[Yard Dog]

if you don't have one now buy a king size bed immediately

I'm guessing that is because we will be sharing it with our little one from time to time? Luckily we just had ours delivered - currently living in the first place we could ever fit one. Took almost 6 months to get the bed frame. Won't get the rest of the set until the fall.

[kstate4life]

You're going to be tempted or your wife to buy a bunch of overpriced crap that you either won't use ever or seldom do. Do not do that.

We just started looking in the secondary market for a Snoo. I don't think the kid needs crazy overpriced "activities" but I am intrigued to spend money on the things that help protect our sanity.

I have heard that these are 1000% worth it.  Our kid wouldn't sleep in the bassinet ever, so next one is getting the Snoo.

[Yard Dog]

The first few weeks and months will be a rollercoaster. Nothing ever happens in a straight upward line. There will be bad days, sometimes several bad days. Then it will improve for several days, only to backtrack again. Try not to get discouraged. Over time it will slowly become easier and less stressful.
Be mindful of how your partner is doing. Let them have extended time away if it will help.
Never be afraid to ask for help from family (if they can be helpful). One of our biggest regrets was waiting an extra week before asking for help from my in-laws. Best decision we made was to ask for help.

Some great advice here, thank you! We are blessed to have been able to witness people who have help and those who do not. Over the last year we moved closer to my parents and helped move my in-laws up from Texas to just 5 minutes away. Definitely looking forward to the help.

[Yard Dog]

The only real advice I could give is to be open to help from others but comfortable and confident with your own parenting style. Kids are pretty adaptable and what they need more than anything is just a safe environment (and lots of food and sleep).

Also don’t forget they’re little humans. Sometimes they just do things that make no damn sense.

We already had conversations about this fact with our parents. Everyone seems on board with it for the time being. I expect we will be getting A LOT of advice from them anyways when they see how we parent. haha

[Yard Dog]

The kingsize bed comment reminds me.  Don't have them sleep with you unless you like the idea of a 7 year old still sleeping in your bed and you never getting to bone ever again.

This is false.

It's not a personal experience of mine, but several of my friends are currently going through this.

Yeah, i'm sure it depends, but I rarely ever let my kids sleep in my bed. I've heard stories about kids constantly coming down trying to get in bed with their parents and eff that. If something is up, we always go to their beds for a bit. Now even when they are sick they want their own beds.

The plan right now is to have a twin bed in their room and a recliner. This way when they are in there more permanently we can join them on bad nights. Not sure the plan after the crib - but haven't thought that far in advance.

[Yard Dog]

Have another one as soon as you can

If you are going have more than one, this is sound advice.  I will be south of 50 when our last of three is graduating from high school.  My uncle was 55 when my youngest cousin was born.  At this point in my life, that sounds horrific.

We don't really want Irish twins - but we like the idea of our kids actually having the ability to have friends. My siblings were 4 and 9 years older than me - so we weren't really friends until I got much older.

[Yard Dog]

The kingsize bed comment reminds me.  Don't have them sleep with you unless you like the idea of a 7 year old still sleeping in your bed and you never getting to bone ever again.

This is false.

It's not a personal experience of mine, but several of my friends are currently going through this.

Do not ever have your infant sleep in your bed unless you love smothering your own baby.

I am not a small man - so this horrifies me. I think I'll be avoiding that at as much as possible.

[Yard Dog]

The kingsize bed comment reminds me.  Don't have them sleep with you unless you like the idea of a 7 year old still sleeping in your bed and you never getting to bone ever again.

This is false.

It's not a personal experience of mine, but several of my friends are currently going through this.

Use a co-sleeper, absolutely the best thing we did with each monster in our herd.

I had to google this - is it just a bassinet that opens up to your side of the bed?

[Yard Dog]

Have another one as soon as you can

If you are going have more than one, this is sound advice.  I will be south of 50 when our last of three is graduating from high school.  My uncle was 55 when my youngest cousin was born.  At this point in my life, that sounds horrific.

These people have no idea what they are talking about. I mean sure, if you want to have another kid, have at it, but spread it out a bit. All of the dumbasses that say "it will be great to get it all over at once" are giant huge dumbasses. Trust me.

I'm guessing I'm the oldest person who had a kid. I love my son but my guy XT is absolutely right. If you can help it, I'd strongly advise against having children when you are in your mid 40s, for several reasons.

I hit 35 this December. Wouldn't mind being done having kiddos by 40. Which gives room for two kids (the number my wife wants). The only thing that will pull me past that is if we have two girls and I get the "I just really want a boy" itch.

[Yard Dog]

I REALLY appreciate all the advice so far. Feel free to keep dropping in golden nuggets. I am trying to be in sponge mode for the next 7 months and the more information I have to go off of the better prepared I will be.

Another question for you all - any recommendations for great books to read or podcasts to start listening to?

[WillieWatanabe]

You're going to be tempted or your wife to buy a bunch of overpriced crap that you either won't use ever or seldom do. Do not do that.

We just started looking in the secondary market for a Snoo. I don't think the kid needs crazy overpriced "activities" but I am intrigued to spend money on the things that help protect our sanity.

I have heard that these are 1000% worth it.  Our kid wouldn't sleep in the bassinet ever, so next one is getting the Snoo.

We got one and it helped a lot. Ours didn't have the crazy sleep that some have in it, but it definitely improved.

[wiley]

You're going to be tempted or your wife to buy a bunch of overpriced crap that you either won't use ever or seldom do. Do not do that.

We just started looking in the secondary market for a Snoo. I don't think the kid needs crazy overpriced "activities" but I am intrigued to spend money on the things that help protect our sanity.

PM if you are really looking into one (if in the KC metro).


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[Cardiac Cats]

You're going to be tempted or your wife to buy a bunch of overpriced crap that you either won't use ever or seldom do. Do not do that.

We just started looking in the secondary market for a Snoo. I don't think the kid needs crazy overpriced "activities" but I am intrigued to spend money on the things that help protect our sanity.

I have heard that these are 1000% worth it.  Our kid wouldn't sleep in the bassinet ever, so next one is getting the Snoo.

We gave up on the Snoo after about 2 weeks, but my wife wasn’t having much of anything those first few months (postpartum hit hard with #2). If it didn’t work instantly, on to the next gimmick! 

To that point and someone else’s about asking for help, when it gets tough, it’s okay to walk away from a crying baby to gather yourself. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy the ride!

[wiley]

You're going to be tempted or your wife to buy a bunch of overpriced crap that you either won't use ever or seldom do. Do not do that.

We just started looking in the secondary market for a Snoo. I don't think the kid needs crazy overpriced "activities" but I am intrigued to spend money on the things that help protect our sanity.

I have heard that these are 1000% worth it.  Our kid wouldn't sleep in the bassinet ever, so next one is getting the Snoo.

We gave up on the Snoo after about 2 weeks, but my wife wasn’t having much of anything those first few months (postpartum hit hard with #2). If it didn’t work instantly, on to the next gimmick! 

To that point and someone else’s about asking for help, when it gets tough, it’s okay to walk away from a crying baby to gather yourself. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy the ride!

We had really good success with our first, i would say a decent amount of success with the second one.  The biggest issue we ran into is our kids are pretty long, so they ran out of room around the 5 month mark.  But we never had any issues with our boys sleeping through the night using it.  But when i bought it, it was a tough purchase to swallow, because i thought it was just a mommy blog thing they were trying to sell to expectant moms.


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[steve dave]

You’re going to feel like a crazy person and all depressed and stressed from time to time. Due mostly to the drastic interruption to your sleep schedule and general life schedule. You’ll adjust quickly. Keep your head up, keep chopping wood, etc. It’s easy after awhile.

[steve dave]

Pampers > Huggies

[Spracne]

You're going to be tempted or your wife to buy a bunch of overpriced crap that you either won't use ever or seldom do. Do not do that.

We just started looking in the secondary market for a Snoo. I don't think the kid needs crazy overpriced "activities" but I am intrigued to spend money on the things that help protect our sanity.

I have heard that these are 1000% worth it.  Our kid wouldn't sleep in the bassinet ever, so next one is getting the Snoo.

We gave up on the Snoo after about 2 weeks, but my wife wasn’t having much of anything those first few months (postpartum hit hard with #2). If it didn’t work instantly, on to the next gimmick! 

To that point and someone else’s about asking for help, when it gets tough, it’s okay to walk away from a crying baby to gather yourself. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy the ride!

We had really good success with our first, i would say a decent amount of success with the second one.  The biggest issue we ran into is our kids are pretty long, so they ran out of room around the 5 month mark.  But we never had any issues with our boys sleeping through the night using it.  But when i bought it, it was a tough purchase to swallow, because i thought it was just a mommy blog thing they were trying to sell to expectant moms.


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We talkin' future Dudes, here?

[wiley]

You're going to be tempted or your wife to buy a bunch of overpriced crap that you either won't use ever or seldom do. Do not do that.

We just started looking in the secondary market for a Snoo. I don't think the kid needs crazy overpriced "activities" but I am intrigued to spend money on the things that help protect our sanity.

I have heard that these are 1000% worth it.  Our kid wouldn't sleep in the bassinet ever, so next one is getting the Snoo.

We gave up on the Snoo after about 2 weeks, but my wife wasn’t having much of anything those first few months (postpartum hit hard with #2). If it didn’t work instantly, on to the next gimmick! 

To that point and someone else’s about asking for help, when it gets tough, it’s okay to walk away from a crying baby to gather yourself. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy the ride!

We had really good success with our first, i would say a decent amount of success with the second one.  The biggest issue we ran into is our kids are pretty long, so they ran out of room around the 5 month mark.  But we never had any issues with our boys sleeping through the night using it.  But when i bought it, it was a tough purchase to swallow, because i thought it was just a mommy blog thing they were trying to sell to expectant moms.


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We talkin' future Dudes, here?

The oldest has destroyed 2 TV’s by throwing crap at them.  So an arm is present.


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[MakeItRain]

The kingsize bed comment reminds me.  Don't have them sleep with you unless you like the idea of a 7 year old still sleeping in your bed and you never getting to bone ever again.

This is false.

It's not a personal experience of mine, but several of my friends are currently going through this.

Use a co-sleeper, absolutely the best thing we did with each monster in our herd.

I had to google this - is it just a bassinet that opens up to your side of the bed?

Pretty much. When it's attached to your bed it's 3 sided and attaches to the bed. It's also adjustable so the co-sleeper mattress is the same height as your mattress. The baby is in it's own bed but it's right there where your wife can roll over and nurse without either of them getting out of bed. It also keeps the baby out of your bed, which is a huge SIDS risk.

When baby and mom are ready the kid stays in the co-sleeper when transitioning to their own room. You just detach the sleeper and it turns into a baby bed that you literally ease, day by day out of your room until they are out of there. The kid stays in the co-sleeper until they move into the crib.

[WillieWatanabe]

Pampers > Huggies

the wasteband of Huggies caught a blowout the first week and now Ms. WW won't buy anything else. We had only purchased Pampers up until then

[kstate4life]

Pampers > Huggies

the wasteband of Huggies caught a blowout the first week and now Ms. WW won't buy anything else. We had only purchased Pampers up until then

Kirkland diapers are the way to go, which are made by Huggies.

[OB_Won]

Pampers > Huggies

the wasteband of Huggies caught a blowout the first week and now Ms. WW won't buy anything else. We had only purchased Pampers up until then

Kirkland diapers are the way to go, which are made by Huggies.

Don’t let your wife talk you into buying $500+ worth of cloth diapers, clips, pins, toilet sprayer attachment, etc. because “it’ll save so much money and it’s better for the environment.” That will only last about one week at most before you both see what a mistake that was.  I’m guessing…..

[Cardiac Cats]

https://ryanholiday.net/best-parenting-advice/

Timely post. Not just for first time expectant dads!