Author Topic: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.  (Read 1370 times)

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Online michigancat

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #50 on: March 25, 2020, 02:59:17 PM »
I want to learn more about meeting bedouins

also I'm kinda surprised a senator's husband wouldn't travel with a suit when on government business!

Offline felix rex

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #51 on: March 25, 2020, 02:59:57 PM »
Did you have a nanny/housekeeper and if so is your household now in disarray?
Long story, but our nanny got quarantined with us after we rescued Mrs Rex from the military buses at the airport right before Jordan got shut down. So she’s been living in the guest room. It’s weird. I don’t like it. But these are weird times.

As to the household, it’s not chaos. Its just stressful. We haven’t left the house since March 16. The kids have online classes for two hours every morning (that is chaos). After that, “Coach Dad” takes them out to the driveway for PE.

The nanny keeps trying to make herself useful and we keep trying to tell her “hey, we’re gonna pay you no matter what so maybe quit washing the windows and go chill”. We hooked up a tv in her room and hooked up her phone on the wifi, so she has news/entertainment in her language.

Basically, I feel like every time I turn around I’m almost elbowing someone. These are absolutely first world problems, but still like I just want some gotdam space. We all take turns cooking. It’s established that when Felix is cooking, he’s putting headphones in, wants no help, and wants everyone out of the kitchen until the food is ready.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #52 on: March 25, 2020, 03:02:52 PM »
I want to learn more about meeting bedouins

also I'm kinda surprised a senator's husband wouldn't travel with a suit when on government business!
1. Meeting bedouins is awesome because you just never rough ridin' know which direction it’s gonna go, but there’s almost definitely gonna be sweat tea, falcons, horses, and guns. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the whole Jesus thing, they’d get along great with red state America.

2. You, me, and the senator would all join in being surprised at this turn of events


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Online michigancat

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #53 on: March 25, 2020, 03:03:51 PM »
I want to learn more about meeting bedouins

also I'm kinda surprised a senator's husband wouldn't travel with a suit when on government business!
1. Meeting bedouins is awesome because you just never rough ridin' know which direction it’s gonna go, but there’s almost definitely gonna be sweat tea, falcons, horses, and guns. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the whole Jesus thing, they’d get along great with red state America.

2. You, me, and the senator would all join in being surprised at this turn of events


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:lol: those sound like great episodes of your sitcom

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #54 on: March 25, 2020, 03:05:23 PM »
which thing happens more often?

- jordanian muslims boozing

- mormons mountain dew'ing
Ha. Easy one. Muslims boozing. Muslims lock down during Ramadan and on Fridays. Other than that, the line is pork. Booze, sex, weed, etc. but don’t try and put bacon in their Mac and cheese.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #55 on: March 25, 2020, 03:12:35 PM »
Do Jordanians have a weird inferiority complex about the Mediterranean Sea? Will they just go on for hours about all the reasons the Red Sea is better?
Not really. But “Jordanians” is problematic in this sense. Because most Jordanians are Palestinian. So, there’s that whole baggage. But the elite (I mean that in social sense, like the ones in power) are from the original tribals. So “East Bankers” will bluntly tell you they’re “real Jordanians”.  West Bankers are from Palestinian descent. The Queen is a West Banker. It’s why she’s still controversial and gets a mixed reaction from the public.

Also, they’re more proud of Petra and Jerash, so no real Med Sea envy. They’re trying desperately to save the Dead Sea though (it’s been shrinking like crazy the last 50 years or whatever).


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #56 on: March 25, 2020, 03:17:31 PM »
have you ever met a jordan from jordan?

Offline Kat Kid

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #57 on: March 25, 2020, 03:20:17 PM »
How insanely pissed would Jordanians get if someone pooped on Petra? Like probably kick you out of the country?

Also do Jordanians view Lebanese as the slippery businessmen of the region or do the Palestinians take this place for them?
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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #58 on: March 25, 2020, 03:23:27 PM »
I'm fascinated by the over representation of Mormons that work at embassies, like it get it they have overseas experience from their mission, usually speak at least 2 languages and you don't have to worry about them getting in compromising positions...just something I would have never known unless it was from gE.

Some follow up questions about Mormons and the state department.

1. What percentage of staff at a random Embassy if Mormon? Do they have a higher density at Embassies in certain places?

2. Does the state department actively recruit Mormons more than other groups or does it happen organically?

3. I love reading about mormon history but have never met an actual mormon. Are they as nice/do goody/wholesome as they are always represented? Do they say regular cuss words or things like "crumudgeon"?
I don’t know percentages, but I never met a Mormon before starting this overseas gig. They’re absolutely over represented to a large degree in these places.

2. USG agencies will tell you they don’t actively recruit any one group more than others. But yeah, Mormons are great recruits and maybe we send a few more recruiters to career day at BYU.

3. This would sound racist if I said it about a race instead of a religion, but Mormons are super nice, super involved in the community, and for the most part gigantic and in excellent shape. I’ve greatly enjoyed working with them and have several Mormon friends now.

Bonus: A fellow dad I’m friends with (a Mormon), asked me to join the Boy Scouts council or whatever that thing is called (btw Boy Scouts are actually a huge thing here). And I told him, “Dude, I have two daughters.” And he literally told me “I know, but, well, we need someone else on the council because it’s just like all Mormons right now and we’re trying to diversify”. So, that was fun.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #59 on: March 25, 2020, 03:25:41 PM »
How insanely pissed would Jordanians get if someone pooped on Petra? Like probably kick you out of the country?

Also do Jordanians view Lebanese as the slippery businessmen of the region or do the Palestinians take this place for them?
Arabs hate Palestinians. They just hate Israelis more.

Lebanese restaurants are the Arab equivalent of Italian restaurants.

Gulfis are the slippery businessmen they hate.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #60 on: March 25, 2020, 03:31:46 PM »
have you ever met a jordan from jordan?
Ok guys. I’m gonna tell you this in strict secrecy.

I used to work in a very uppity fancy office at the embassy. This office had a “foyer” at the entrance to it, and it was filled with two bookcases of fancy academic books about Jordan (in both languages) that of course no one actually ever read.

Soooooo......

In the weeks before I left, I ordered every cheap book I could find on Amazon about Michael Jordan. Kids books. Biographies. Adult coloring books of shoes. Even some in Arabic (they are NOT spelled the same at all in Arabic). And before I left, I slipped about a dozen of these into the “library”. That was over 6 months ago. No one has noticed and the MJ books are all still there.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #61 on: March 25, 2020, 03:36:48 PM »
How insanely pissed would Jordanians get if someone pooped on Petra? Like probably kick you out of the country?

Also do Jordanians view Lebanese as the slippery businessmen of the region or do the Palestinians take this place for them?
Forget the o answer the Petra question.

You don’t eff with Petra. That’s a red line. Netflix almost got banned because there was a historical fiction movie about how some bedouins discovered an ancient artifact that proved the ancient Israelite had actually built Petra AND THERE WERE LARGE ACTUAL PHYSICAL PROTESTS IN THE STREETS (I’m still not sure what the point of these was, but ministers were issuing statement assuring they wouldn’t allow the Zionist plot to steal Petra to succeed and yes that’s a real thing that happened in real life)

So yeah. Don’t eff with Petra.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #62 on: March 25, 2020, 03:41:10 PM »
have you ever met a jordan from jordan?
Ok guys. I’m gonna tell you this in strict secrecy.

I used to work in a very uppity fancy office at the embassy. This office had a “foyer” at the entrance to it, and it was filled with two bookcases of fancy academic books about Jordan (in both languages) that of course no one actually ever read.

Soooooo......

In the weeks before I left, I ordered every cheap book I could find on Amazon about Michael Jordan. Kids books. Biographies. Adult coloring books of shoes. Even some in Arabic (they are NOT spelled the same at all in Arabic). And before I left, I slipped about a dozen of these into the “library”. That was over 6 months ago. No one has noticed and the MJ books are all still there.


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:lol:

Episode: disaster strikes when the ambassador gives a tour to someone very important and is embarrassed when he realizes his Jordan bookcase is all about Michael Jordan.

side note I'm assuming the ambassador is a career guy and not a political appointment?

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #63 on: March 25, 2020, 03:43:38 PM »
Current ambassador is career and would almost definitely laugh. The political counselor, however, is the State Department epitome of “Yale, Male, and Pale” and would be appalled (it was his office I did it to).


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #64 on: March 25, 2020, 08:28:17 PM »
I'm fascinated by the over representation of Mormons that work at embassies, like it get it they have overseas experience from their mission, usually speak at least 2 languages and you don't have to worry about them getting in compromising positions...just something I would have never known unless it was from gE.

Some follow up questions about Mormons and the state department.

1. What percentage of staff at a random Embassy if Mormon? Do they have a higher density at Embassies in certain places?

2. Does the state department actively recruit Mormons more than other groups or does it happen organically?

3. I love reading about mormon history but have never met an actual mormon. Are they as nice/do goody/wholesome as they are always represented? Do they say regular cuss words or things like "crumudgeon"? 
you’ve asked too many questions itt and are pissing everyone off


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #65 on: March 25, 2020, 09:46:10 PM »
3. I love reading about mormon history but have never met an actual mormon. Are they as nice/do goody/wholesome as they are always represented? Do they say regular cuss words or things like "crumudgeon"? 

My wife grew up mormon and left the church but a lot of her family is still Mormon. They're pretty nice but have an insanely insular culture, for the most part they don't socialize with non-mormons and like my wife's aunts are amazed when I'm around them being a nice person with kids who aren't demons. But here's an anecdote about cussing:

You know the card game Bullshit? The family plays it, but they don't call it Bullshit. Or even BS. They call it BC and made it a point to make it clear that the "C" stood for "crud" and not the other "c" word. (Crap). Granted these were like kids but it was funny.

I too married into a Mormon family.  My wife and a couple of her siblings still identify as Mormon but just do normal USA living.  They are considered Jack Mormons as I understand it.  I just treat them as a whole with respect like I did my deeply religious Catholic grandmother.  I did get to amaze some BYU coeds in OKC at the 2010 tourney with my Mormon knowledge while being utterly PAK'D.
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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #66 on: March 25, 2020, 10:39:12 PM »
1) Please compare Middle Eastern countries to Big XII teams past, present, and future. Which team is analagous to Jordan? Who is the Nebraska of the Middle East?
2) What's the school situation like for your Lil Cats (assuming some sort of American School for Diplomats Kids or something) and how does the Jordan school compare to the Egypt school?
3) Did you buy any Michael B. Jordan books to put in the book case or just Michael Jordan?
4) Best and weirdest foods specific to Jordan?
5) Where did you meet Bedouins? Were you wandering somewhere?

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #67 on: March 30, 2020, 11:10:20 AM »
1) Please compare Middle Eastern countries to Big XII teams past, present, and future. Which team is analagous to Jordan? Who is the Nebraska of the Middle East?
2) What's the school situation like for your Lil Cats (assuming some sort of American School for Diplomats Kids or something) and how does the Jordan school compare to the Egypt school?
3) Did you buy any Michael B. Jordan books to put in the book case or just Michael Jordan?
4) Best and weirdest foods specific to Jordan?
5) Where did you meet Bedouins? Were you wandering somewhere?
Okay. Big 12 comparisons. I’ll give it a lazy shot:

1. Egypt constantly refers to itself as “the Mother of the World” and always notes it’s “2,500 years of civilization” or whatever that number is. But it’s a rough ridin' mess and just awful. So, always bringing up the pyramids and still having “sellouts” (overcrowded cities) and also being just shy of a failed state...? Yeah that’s Nebraska. Egypt is definitely the Nebraska of the Middle East. 


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #68 on: March 30, 2020, 11:10:57 AM »
Also, Saudi is Texas. I mean, you all already knew that.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #69 on: March 30, 2020, 11:13:17 AM »
Iran is Baylor. They’re just successful/powerful enough to hang around (and have their own unique religious vibe despite being awful), but LOL everyone hates them and wants to kick them out and also they were the cause of the huge COVID outbreak in the region because they tried to cover it up. So yeah. That’s Middle Eastern Baylor.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #70 on: March 30, 2020, 11:17:42 AM »
Small but super wealthy due to mineral wealth is sort of most of the Gulf States besides Saudi, but we’ll say the UAE is Oklahoma State.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #71 on: March 30, 2020, 11:19:46 AM »
West Virginia is Turkey, I guess. Because we’re not even really sure what you’re doing in our conference don’t you belong somewhere else? And how can you be so big but also so weird and dysfunctional and never quite getting your crap together?


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #72 on: March 30, 2020, 11:22:35 AM »
Jordan is Iowa State. They’re so optimistic and a little prickly about their status even though they usually don’t accomplish anything, are funded by their regional partners, and the whole place inexplicably floods a few times a year.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #73 on: March 30, 2020, 11:23:37 AM »
Qatar is Mizzou. Nobody wants them. Nobody misses them.


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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #74 on: March 30, 2020, 11:51:32 AM »
Qatar is Mizzou. Nobody wants them. Nobody misses them.


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Also Al Jazeera = elite journalism school. This is a great fit.
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