Author Topic: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.  (Read 1371 times)

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Offline felix rex

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I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« on: March 24, 2020, 03:36:38 PM »
For context, the embassy is taking care of us. So, we’re good.

 Also, for those of you newcomers who are “pre-Cairo thread,” Mrs Rex is still an absolute badass and is working phones and getting us hooked up and also volunteering to translate for other embassy families.

 Also, for those of you who remember the Cairo thread, after two healthy girls, Mrs Rex is 6-months pregnant with our first son. So, that’s a pregnant wife, a 6-yr old, a 4-yr old, and a strict military quarantine that gets you a year in prison for leaving the house.

Ask me anything. I finally got everyone to sleep and now I’m stressed and bored and almost out of scotch after 9 days of lockdown.


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"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2020, 03:38:25 PM »
Are you all in one room?

Are you able to restock your booze?

Offline felix rex

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2020, 03:42:57 PM »
We’re lucky. We got a good draw on the housing lottery. We have a ground floor apartment with a yard that’s tiny by Kansas standards but pretty great for here.

And yes. Booze supply is dangerously low and I doubt the Muslim government here is gonna seem that an essential service, so it’s gonna get real.
"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

Offline ChiCat

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2020, 04:23:30 PM »
I enjoyed your trash dash tweet

Offline ben ji

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2020, 04:24:01 PM »
I have some questions regarding Jordan/Egypt.

It seems like Jordan's government functions much better than Egypt's. Why is that?

Compare living in Egypt to living in Jordan. (What do you miss about egypt/what do you like about jordan etc)

Why is their country called Jordan? Is Michael Jordan a big deal there?

How often does it rain and if it does rain does everything shut down for the day and people party rock their faces off?


Offline ben ji

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2020, 04:24:50 PM »
Do they have hilarious menu items at your local McDonalds?

Offline ben ji

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2020, 04:26:25 PM »
Are you planning to move back to the US at some point? What do you miss most about the greatest country on earth?

Offline ben ji

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2020, 04:27:44 PM »
I remember you went to some local Jordan football games. Has Klieman reached out to you about becoming a scout/bagman for any good players in the Middle East?

Offline ben ji

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2020, 04:30:13 PM »
From every book I've read (mainly cold war spy stuff) it seems like people just party rock their faces off 24/7 at Embassies. O man, the new Canadian Ambassador is getting here tomorrow and they are having a huge party for him but I'm still hungover from the going away party the Dutch Ambassador threw 2 days ago.

Confirm or deny?

Offline ben ji

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2020, 04:31:41 PM »
Worst language to translate?

Offline ben ji

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2020, 04:33:11 PM »
What does Jordan do better than the U S of A?

Offline ben ji

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2020, 04:36:08 PM »
Any Feral Cats in Jordan? Are they different than feral cats in the US and how so? If they are cool would you be able to secure one and mail it to a growing cat ranch in western KS that needs new blood?

Offline tdaver

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2020, 04:37:34 PM »
Do you have Marines vs Mormons pickup basketball in Jordan?

Offline felix rex

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2020, 04:47:47 PM »
I have some questions regarding Jordan/Egypt.

It seems like Jordan's government functions much better than Egypt's. Why is that?

Compare living in Egypt to living in Jordan. (What do you miss about egypt/what do you like about jordan etc)

Why is their country called Jordan? Is Michael Jordan a big deal there?

How often does it rain and if it does rain does everything shut down for the day and people party rock their faces off?
All good questions. I basically miss nothing about Egypt. It’s mumped up from the ground up and I’m so glad I’m not there right now.

Jordan works better than Egypt because, while it is ALSO basically a US-funded enterprise, it’s much smaller. Cairo has like 22 million people. Jordan has a little under 10. Also, (thanks largely to the benevolence of US tax-payers) Jordan is heavily militarized, well-equipped, and fortified as eff. and they just have a King so they don’t even have to pretend about the whole democratic process thing. There’s no process. The king said shut crap down. crap got shut down.

Michael Jordan (and the NBA) are quite popular here. There’s a surprising amount of street hoops if you know where to look.

It rains from like November to February. Usually not a lot (by our standards). Jordan always has a water shortage. But every time it rains, it floods because they’re not prepared for rain. And yes, sometimes the government sends out an actual 911 text to all “citizens” (the texts are literally addressed “CITIZENS!”) that maybe you should just stay home. If there’s even a rumor of ice or snow, everything shuts down preemptively, because the city is famously built on seven steep hills and every one drives 1970s fiats with bald tires.


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Offline felix rex

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2020, 04:49:09 PM »
Do they have hilarious menu items at your local McDonalds?
No. They are not hilarious, IMO. They are annoying. They only serve chicken. Like, fried chicken patties. And, yes, that goes for Big Macs, too. It’s outrageous.


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"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

Offline felix rex

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #15 on: March 24, 2020, 04:51:03 PM »
Are you planning to move back to the US at some point? What do you miss most about the greatest country on earth?
The roads. American roads are so rough ridin' great. Also, easy access to pork and booze.

Also, we’re not planning to move back anytime soon. After this, we signed up for 3-4 years in Bahrain.


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"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

Offline felix rex

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #16 on: March 24, 2020, 04:52:29 PM »
I remember you went to some local Jordan football games. Has Klieman reached out to you about becoming a scout/bagman for any good players in the Middle East?
No. But he’s welcome to, and I will absolutely hard sell the Unit known as Big Knafeh on the Little Apple.


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"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

Offline XocolateThundarr

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #17 on: March 24, 2020, 04:55:39 PM »
Will you finally meet the ICT contingent for a drink at some point?

Offline felix rex

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2020, 04:56:06 PM »
Do you have Marines vs Mormons pickup basketball in Jordan?
Not intentionally but yes sometimes. They are more competitive than you’d think.

Also, once a year we have an embassy World Cup soccer tournament. Every year the Marines and/or Mormons advance to the finals. And every year they get clocks cleaned by the team made up of the local janitorial staff. We just call it the “Wasita Trophy” at this point.


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"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

Offline felix rex

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2020, 05:01:48 PM »
Any Feral Cats in Jordan? Are they different than feral cats in the US and how so? If they are cool would you be able to secure one and mail it to a growing cat ranch in western KS that needs new blood?
They’re the same. And usually well taken care of. Muslims have a thing about cats. There’s a group of cats that usually eat in one of those big silver dumpsters and I walk past them on the way home and I startle them and they all jump out and scare the crap out of me. We have uneasy truce.

There are three free-range cats on the embassy grounds. My daughters have named them. The one that live at the main gate is Ambassador Whiskers. The two that live outside the marine house are Boots and Gunny. And yes, we built them cardboard shelters with blankets for the winter and brought them food. Boots is ride or die with Team Rex. Ambassador Whiskers is kind of an ungrateful whore IMO but whatever we’re over it.


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"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

Offline felix rex

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #20 on: March 24, 2020, 05:07:52 PM »
From every book I've read (mainly cold war spy stuff) it seems like people just party rock their faces off 24/7 at Embassies. O man, the new Canadian Ambassador is getting here tomorrow and they are having a huge party for him but I'm still hungover from the going away party the Dutch Ambassador threw 2 days ago.

Confirm or deny?
Confirm. When congressional delegations travel to embassies overseas, they have a military escort. Part of his job is transporting the gigantic box of booze. And I mean gigantic. It’s literally one of those huge toolboxes that you can get that span your truckbed. And it’s kept in the hotel “conference room”.

But yeah. Diplomats do legit work and long hours but man do they drink their faces off. (Mormons excluded, but sometimes they drink Mountain Dew or Dr Pepper if they’re forced to work crisis-type hours and it’s adorable)


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"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

Offline Johnny Wichita

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #21 on: March 24, 2020, 05:09:08 PM »
Two restaurant choices, greasy burger and fries, or French bakery/deli - where do you eat first? 

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #22 on: March 24, 2020, 05:09:21 PM »
Will you finally meet the ICT contingent for a drink at some point?
Yes, if only to hand deliver long delayed fattyfest auction items (cc waks and stevedave).


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"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

Offline felix rex

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #23 on: March 24, 2020, 05:10:32 PM »
Two restaurant choices, greasy burger and fries, or French bakery/deli - where do you eat first?
If you think you can get me on record taking a stance between TJs and Galete, you’re wrong, mister.


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"How will I recruit to Manhattan? Well, distance. And the proud state of basketball. It start there, and then daily flights to Dallas, because I'm really good at going out. Like top five good. Ask my wife. She wants me to be happy."

Offline Johnny Wichita

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Re: I’m in military quarantine in Jordan and bored. AMA.
« Reply #24 on: March 24, 2020, 05:16:42 PM »
Two restaurant choices, greasy burger and fries, or French bakery/deli - where do you eat first?
If you think you can get me on record taking a stance between TJs and Galete, you’re wrong, mister.


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