Author Topic: chum1's dumb job stories (Read 57302 times)

chum1 · « **Reply #450 on:** March 11, 2020, 08:59:20 AM »

So, HRP has everyone doing what she wants and there is no drama currently. She's very good. Also, D2 isn't so stupid that he fails to understand that she can fire him if she wants to. (Despite what he says, he neither has lots of options nor will be going anywhere ever.)

Just minutes ago, D2 returned from a meeting with a new client. He was laughing and told me the funniest thing he'd ever seen just happened in the meeting. He starts, "The owner of this new client is from another country. So, VP of Sales sales says, 'I can speak Swahili!' Then, he pops his cheek with his finger and starts making all these noises with his tongue! Man, it was so HILARIOUS! We were all CRACKING UP!" Like, I really don't even know if I heard the story correctly because what I thought I heard is so offensive. At the same time, I don't know what else it could be! WHAT THE eff!?!?!?

Since I started typing this, D2 left the room. Just just now came back and is quietly grumbling to himself, "I'm gonna put up with that passive aggressive attitude for about one more day."

meow meow · « **Reply #451 on:** March 11, 2020, 11:02:43 AM »

a regular michael scott sitch

star seed 7 · « **Reply #452 on:** March 11, 2020, 11:24:38 AM »

Is the company owner guy African or was the swahili just a riff?

chum1 · « **Reply #453 on:** March 11, 2020, 12:30:57 PM »

Quote from: Libdork.9 rolled back from 1.0 on March 11, 2020, 11:24:38 AM

Is the company owner guy African or was the swahili just a riff?

I'm guessing not African. If it comes up again, I'll ask. But I'm not going to bring it up again on my own!

star seed 7 · « **Reply #454 on:** March 11, 2020, 12:42:30 PM »

Also (obviously), what a total sales guy move. Ugh.

michigancat · « **Reply #455 on:** March 11, 2020, 04:42:08 PM »

that was your VP of sales making the swahili joke?

_33 · « **Reply #456 on:** March 11, 2020, 06:32:40 PM »

Quote from: chum1 on March 11, 2020, 08:59:20 AM

So, HRP has everyone doing what she wants and there is no drama currently. She's very good. Also, D2 isn't so stupid that he fails to understand that she can fire him if she wants to. (Despite what he says, he neither has lots of options nor will be going anywhere ever.)

Just minutes ago, D2 returned from a meeting with a new client. He was laughing and told me the funniest thing he'd ever seen just happened in the meeting. He starts, "The owner of this new client is from another country. So, VP of Sales sales says, 'I can speak Swahili!' Then, he pops his cheek with his finger and starts making all these noises with his tongue! Man, it was so HILARIOUS! We were all CRACKING UP!" Like, I really don't even know if I heard the story correctly because what I thought I heard is so offensive. At the same time, I don't know what else it could be! WHAT THE eff!?!?!?

Since I started typing this, D2 left the room. Just just now came back and is quietly grumbling to himself, "I'm gonna put up with that passive aggressive attitude for about one more day."

Did you fake laugh when he told you the story? I have to fake laugh at work a lot. Not because of offensive stories though, just unfunny ones.

8manpick · « **Reply #457 on:** March 11, 2020, 07:37:01 PM »

T-y for the update

chum1 · « **Reply #458 on:** March 11, 2020, 07:49:43 PM »

Quote from: _33 on March 11, 2020, 06:32:40 PM

Did you fake laugh when he told you the story? I have to fake laugh at work a lot. Not because of offensive stories though, just unfunny ones.

I had a smile and a confused look on my face. I don't have a fake laugh. I've noticed that they're a good way for people to bond, though.

chum1 · « **Reply #459 on:** March 13, 2020, 10:02:09 AM »

Just now, I was looking through folders and found a bunch of work I didn't recognize. I looked to see who did it and saw that D1 had 1-2 years ago. This means that D2 had sent it to D1 to do. Not only is it work that I could have easily done, it is stuff that is my specialty and not D1's. So, if D1 billed separately for this work, it appears that D2 was funneling company money to his BFF D1 when he didn't need to be. That's a big 'if', but sometimes I wonder about those two.

There is a small caveat here. I was mostly working on the new software with GG at the time and this was old software stuff. Nevertheless, I was still doing plenty of old software stuff, too. It's probably safe to say that D2 was all bent out of shape after losing his "direct reports," felt isolated, maybe unwanted, and petulantly sent stuff to D1.

steve dave · « **Reply #460 on:** March 13, 2020, 10:03:41 AM »

BORING!

chum1 · « **Reply #461 on:** March 13, 2020, 10:10:09 AM »

I never know which ones will be a hit. This is all in the context of HRP trying to wrangle control away from D2, which I find pretty fascinating.

steve dave · « **Reply #462 on:** March 13, 2020, 10:12:09 AM »

Ok, I’m going to ride it out and hope it turns juicy. Maybe plan a Happy Hour soon?

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DaBigTrain · « **Reply #463 on:** March 13, 2020, 10:12:36 AM »

The hot and steamy office sex and innuendos are always a hit. Do more of those.

steve dave · « **Reply #464 on:** March 13, 2020, 10:14:53 AM »

bring some classic rock cd's to the office and post reactions

steve dave · « **Reply #465 on:** March 13, 2020, 10:15:29 AM »

wink at the lady that called you trouble next time you walk by her

steve dave · « **Reply #466 on:** March 13, 2020, 10:16:11 AM »

buy some book about forgiveness and another about an affair and set them on your desk where everyone can see them

DaBigTrain · « **Reply #467 on:** March 13, 2020, 10:22:39 AM »

Quote from: steve dave on March 13, 2020, 10:16:11 AM

buy some book about forgiveness and another about an affair and set them on your desk where everyone can see them

omg

chum1 · « **Reply #468 on:** April 15, 2020, 04:40:01 PM »

Company meeting today. One topic was naming a website chat bot thingy. The chat bot will attempt to replicate our servant leadership spirit! People are going to submit suggestions for the name to someone directly and then we're all going to vote for our favorite name.

After the meeting, Roy (yes, Roy!), who owns a strip club, who we never see, who I didn't even know was in the meeting, completely out of nowhere emails the entire company with his suggestion:

Quote

“ HOOTER "the wise owl !

chum1 · « **Reply #469 on:** April 15, 2020, 04:42:23 PM »

Oh! HRP just replied!

Quote

Thank you Roy,

We appreciate your submission and will add it with the others that [website person] is collecting.

We'll make sure that we wouldn't be infringing on any other trademarks or brands.

michigancat · « **Reply #470 on:** April 15, 2020, 04:51:33 PM »

Quote from: chum1 on April 15, 2020, 04:42:23 PM

Oh! HRP just replied!

Quote
Thank you Roy,

We appreciate your submission and will add it with the others that [website person] is collecting.

We'll make sure that we wouldn't be infringing on any other trademarks or brands.

lol that response

steve dave · « **Reply #471 on:** April 15, 2020, 05:23:04 PM »

chum1 · « **Reply #472 on:** April 16, 2020, 11:57:41 AM »

Just had a call with my department. GG informed us that HRP reduced her hours to 3 days per week. She was the only one, which was a little awkward. Her new software stuff is suffering due to recent events. Toward the end of the call, she was offering to help with any other projects wherever she could, which was a little desperate. D2, acting like the boss as always, was like, "we'll give you some time to let you get settled into your new schedule and then see where we're at." Based on his track record, he's not going to try to work with her. Is D2's big opportunity to try to completely kill off his nemesis GG once and for all?????

star seed 7 · « **Reply #473 on:** April 16, 2020, 12:11:57 PM »

In the game of HR support software you either win or die

steve dave · « **Reply #474 on:** April 16, 2020, 12:15:06 PM »

D2 playing 4d chess as usual

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