"hey mom, can you turn the tv down, i'm on the phone with kyle klieman"
"who is that?"
"the old north dakota coach! he wants me to play for him!"
"north dakota? i'm not sending you there!"
"no, he coaches at kansas state now"
"the jayhawks?"
"i think so"
"coach, you're with kansas or kansas state?"
"kansas state, and by the way, it's chris"
"oh, sorry chris, so tell me about yourself"
"well i was at north dakota state, not north dakota"
"oops, sorry, so you built that program?"
"well, not exactly, i inherited it from craig bohl who went 43-1 with three national championships the three years before i took over"
"oh, so you were the genius top assistant?"
"not really. so the first year we won the title, i was just the defensive backs coach. but then the next two years i was the defensive coordinator!"
"so you were the defensive mastermind of those teams?"
"well, again no. coach bohl played defense and has coached defense his whole life, so that side of the ball is actually his area of expertise. he gave me the coordinator title to help boost my resume."
"so tell me more about coach bohl, i take it he's having massive success elsewhere?"
"yeah, he's doing alright for himself. he's 28-35 at wyoming, almost .500 in conference, has produced one good offense in five years and won the potato bowl! some fans want him fired..."
"they do?"
"yeah - but they're a vocal minority."
"great to hear! so i'm assuming you have your own style?"
"umm, not exactly. i basically just do what bohl did."
"so what did he do?"
"well, he tries to slow the game down to a crawl. we snap it every 30 seconds. we play field position. we run the ball. power football. we use modern concepts like the play-action pass."
"to have the success you had, you must bring in some awesome recruits!"
"we've had a few good players, sure. but we don't put much emphasis on that. we're big on player development."
"so you just get athletic freaks and then you tr--"
"no, we look for character first. without that, you can't build a family."
"so quick question, if bohl taught you what you know, and he's not even doing that well at wyoming, then what makes you think you'll be able to compete in the big 12?"
"good question! haven't thought about that"
"has gene taylor?"
"probably not, but he only hired me because i came cheap."