Author Topic: The Onion gems that make you giggle.  (Read 2696 times)

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Offline TheHamburglar

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #25 on: October 20, 2020, 12:15:14 PM »
The Onion cut to the core of me today.

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Also, this is my favorite tweet of all time. It was the first thing I saw when I looked at my phone on my oldest kid’s 3rd birthday.

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I got a guy on the other line about some white walls

Offline ben ji

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #26 on: October 20, 2020, 04:53:49 PM »
I follow the onion on the twitter and about once a week I will see one of their posts and just lose my crap laughing. Glad that this thread got bumped as I will now try to remember to post them here.

Offline ben ji

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #27 on: October 20, 2020, 04:55:58 PM »
This was the most recent one

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Offline TheHamburglar

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #28 on: October 20, 2020, 05:06:33 PM »
I follow the onion on the twitter and about once a week I will see one of their posts and just lose my crap laughing. Glad that this thread got bumped as I will now try to remember to post them here.

It’s not what it once was, but it’s still pretty good. From now on whenever there’s one of those “what’s your biggest fear?” tweets, that Onion friends tweet will be my answer.
I got a guy on the other line about some white walls

Offline DaBigTrain

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #29 on: October 21, 2020, 01:48:17 PM »
"The Times 03/Jan/2009 Chancellor on brink of second bailout for banks"

https://blockstream.info/block/000000000019d6689c085ae165831e934ff763ae46a2a6c172b3f1b60a8ce26f

Offline ben ji

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #30 on: October 22, 2020, 11:27:37 AM »
https://www.theonion.com/kansas-national-guard-announces-they-re-ready-to-defend-1845394275

Quote
TOPEKA, KS—In an evidently unprovoked statement, Kansas National Guard Brigadier General Anthony V. Mohatt announced Thursday that the Kansas National Guard was ready to defend against attacks on Kansas at any time. “From the rolling hills of the east to the sweeping plains of the west, the Kansas National Guard is in a sufficient state of readiness to mount a swift response and retaliate with overwhelming force against any threat that dares oppose the Sunflower State,” said General Mohatt, who went on to elaborate in great detail how, even as he spoke, Kansas National Guard troops had deployed across the state, with steady-handed demolitions units setting traps on major infrastructure; eager pilots idling their fighters and bombers on the ready lines of major air bases; and valiant infantrymen keeping vigil at the border by peering into Colorado, Oklahoma, Missouri, and Nebraska with tactical night-vision binoculars. “With the might and honor, we will defend the land of Kansas. Only the National Guard can claim to know the treacherous terrain like the backs of their hands. And if any tyrant entertains the notion of taking a guardsman alive, know that my orders state that every soldier must fight to his last breath, taking his own life if necessary.” At press time, General Mohatt had mobilized two armored divisions “in response to threatening Sooner Troop movements” on the Kansas border with Oklahoma.

Offline cfbandyman

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #31 on: October 22, 2020, 11:31:10 AM »
Saw that a little early and I don't think I ever had a more raging KS boner
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Offline steve dave

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #32 on: October 23, 2020, 10:09:34 AM »

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #33 on: October 23, 2020, 09:41:57 PM »
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Offline ben ji

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #34 on: April 13, 2021, 10:09:41 PM »
?s=19

Offline ben ji

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #35 on: May 27, 2021, 01:33:49 PM »
?s=19


Offline ben ji

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #36 on: June 03, 2021, 12:27:16 PM »
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Online 420seriouscat69

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #37 on: June 03, 2021, 12:58:25 PM »
lol

Online 420seriouscat69

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #38 on: June 07, 2021, 12:59:06 PM »
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Offline ChiComCat

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Re: The Onion gems that make you giggle.
« Reply #39 on: June 08, 2021, 11:35:10 AM »
The Onion's Subsidiary

Fully vaccinated people, and also just liars, can now go mask-free at theaters
https://www.avclub.com/fully-vaccinated-people-and-also-just-liars-can-now-g-1846996271