Tee ball grievances

[slobber]

dobber seems way too old to have a toddler.

Also, look out Mrs Gooch going all "kids are the worst" again.   

Young trophy wife 

Nice.  Your first wife, trophy or otherwise?

Actually, my wife is older than me, but she is a trophy!

[star seed 7]

So if I want both clean language and good grammar, I'm mumped?

[redacted] respect

[Cartierfor3]

Wow what timing.

I just got word I'm head coach of lil CF3's t-ball team, with games starting 6/4. Please post coaching advice for me. I plan to be firm but fair.

[Gooch]

Wow what timing.

I just got word I'm head coach of lil CF3's t-ball team, with games starting 6/4. Please post coaching advice for me. I plan to be firm but fair.

Be sure to ID and weed out all the FP, TC's, ETC ASAP.

[Brock Landers]

I helped coach lil Brockette's first t ball team.  I was only an "assistant coach" so I didn't receive any of the calls and emails and texts and face to face chats about lil so and so's kid that the head coach got from the helicoptery parents.  No joke man.  It's tball and a couple of the parents were acting like a scout for the Yankees would be attending the games.  If any parent tries to pull that crap on you just look at them like they're crazy and remind them it's tball and you're just trying to help their kid have fun and maybe develop some skills and get better along the way.

Coaching them is pretty easy, for the most part they will do exactly what you tell them to do.

[The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep]

the first thing you need to figure out is what those little munchkins are gonna call you.

mr cartierfor3?
mr c?
coach cartierfor3?
coach c?

pick a name that best suits you because youre gonna ride a few of these kiddos to the majors and you want to be professional up front.

[slobber]

Wow what timing.

I just got word I'm head coach of lil CF3's t-ball team, with games starting 6/4. Please post coaching advice for me. I plan to be firm but fair.

1980's coaching shorts are a must.

[meow meow]

i'm assistant coaching lil baby meow meow's 4 year old girls soccer team.  I give them lots of high 5's and tell them how good they are doing, and mostly just soak in the adorableness.

[The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep]

another important thing on the list is finding which kids have single moms and treating them extra special. offer to drop them off after practice, pick them up, whatever. 

[Emo EMAW]

Get yourself a Fox 40.  There is no substitute. 

[Cartierfor3]

the first thing you need to figure out is what those little munchkins are gonna call you.

mr cartierfor3?
mr c?
coach cartierfor3?
coach c?

pick a name that best suits you because youre gonna ride a few of these kiddos to the majors and you want to be professional up front.

if their asses want to avoid laps they will begin and end everything they say to me with the word "sir"

[Cartierfor3]

Get yourself a Fox 40.  There is no substitute.

i don't know what a fox 40 is. I googled Fox 40 and all that came up was a TV station in Sacramento.

[star seed 7]

4 year olds can barely walk, how the eff are they supposed to play soccer?

[Cartierfor3]

4 year olds can barely walk, how the eff are they supposed to play soccer?

yeah soccer sure takes a lot of skill

[Tobias]

4 year olds can barely walk, how the eff are they supposed to play soccer?

adorably

[Cartierfor3]

lil CF3 completed his first season of soccer a week ago, this was the extent of the explaining the coaches did to the kids:

1. Do not use your hands, except you, goalie.

[_33]

Wow what timing.

I just got word I'm head coach of lil CF3's t-ball team, with games starting 6/4. Please post coaching advice for me. I plan to be firm but fair.

Don't practice longer than an hour.

[Emo EMAW]

Get yourself a Fox 40.  There is no substitute.

i don't know what a fox 40 is. I googled Fox 40 and all that came up was a TV station in Sacramento.

It's a whistle. 

[Cartierfor3]

Wow what timing.

I just got word I'm head coach of lil CF3's t-ball team, with games starting 6/4. Please post coaching advice for me. I plan to be firm but fair.

Don't practice longer than an hour.

oh we're set there. practice is from 630-730 sharp.

[Emo EMAW]

These kids are going to eat you alive.

[Cartierfor3]

These kids are going to eat you alive.

well i won't be carrying a loaded gun to practice like you would so maybe

[mhkpasa]

These kids are going to eat you alive.

well i won't be carrying a loaded gun to practice like you would so maybe

 

[Emo EMAW]

These kids are going to eat you alive.

well i won't be carrying a loaded gun to practice like you would so maybe

Survival of the well armed is what I always say.

[Skipper44]

Wow what timing.

I just got word I'm head coach of lil CF3's t-ball team, with games starting 6/4. Please post coaching advice for me. I plan to be firm but fair.

totally serious here - take all of the bats (as previously mentioned, the ones with older brothers will have at least 2) and hang from the backstop high enough only an adult can reach them.

[slobber]

Wow what timing.

I just got word I'm head coach of lil CF3's t-ball team, with games starting 6/4. Please post coaching advice for me. I plan to be firm but fair.

totally serious here - take all of the bats (as previously mentioned, the ones with older brothers will have at least 2) and hang from the backstop high enough only an adult can reach them.

This seems like extremely good advice. Every practice/game that toddlerdobber plays in has about 400 near misses of a kid swinging a bat and almost hitting another kid.