Can you get another AD job by boring people to death? I think it's being attempted at K-State.
John Currie is an accountant, and the last few years have been like tax time, a very thrilling experience for all. Marveling at what shiny new things can be bought with your freshly harvested interest-free loan back from the government. It's truly an experience without peer. But now it's April 16th, and K-State fans are still hanging out with their accountant, wondering to themselves, "How did I not realize how much of a boring, insufferable rat this guy is before now? Why is he still here? Maybe we should have met at this office, I didn't realize how awkward it was going to be to ask him to leave. Doesn't he get the hint? I've checked my watch like 25 times in the last 10 minutes. Does he really have that little self-awareness?"
GhostbustersCatbusters:
Woman at Party: [coming up to
Louis John Currie during party] Do you have any Excedrin or extra-strength Tylenol?
Louis John Currie: [opening cabinet] Gee, I think all I got is acetylsalicylic acid, generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of a name brand. That makes good financial sense, good advice...
[takes platter back into living room]
Louis John Currie: Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound! It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though.
[walks up to a hapless guest, speaking confidentially]
Louis John Currie: I'm givin' this whole thing as a promotional expense, that's why I invited clients instead of friends. You havin' a good time, Mark?
[heads across the room, greeting other guests]
Louis John Currie: How you doing? Why don't you have some of the brie, it's at room temperature!
[to the Tall Woman]
Louis John Currie: You think it's too warm in here for the brie?
Tall Woman at Party: [standing] Louis, I'm going home.
Louis John Currie: Aw, don't leave yet. Well, listen, maybe if we start dancing other people will join in!
Tall Woman at Party: [pauses] Okay!
[
Louis John Currie and the Tall Woman begin disco dancing. Suddenly the doorbell rings]
Louis John Currie: Oh, don't move, I just gotta get the door.
[opens door, greeting guests]
Louis John Currie: Ted! Annette! I'm glad you could come, how you doin', give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming! Ted has a small carpet cleaning business in receivership; Annette's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago! They got fifteen thousand left on the house at eight percent.
[throws the guests' coats in the closet, oblivious that they hit the Terror Dog hiding there]
Louis John Currie: So they're okay! So, does anybody wanna play Parcheesi?
[the Terror Dog growls from inside the bedroom]
Louis John Currie: [grinning] Okay, who brought the dog?