HEADLINES - AUBURN EDITION

[The Big Train]

MARSHALL OUTMANNED AND MAHLZAN GETS SH!@CANNED!

After losing the game 55-13 on Thursday 09/16/2014, former Auburn headcoach, Gus Mahlzan, was released from his duties at Auburn University and told that his belongings were already packed up from his office at the university. His wife stated she was filing for divorce as she could put up with Gus having a micropenis and never sexually satisfying her, she didn't even mind the fact that he wore her clothes and had uncensored Justin Beiber posters all of their bedroom walls, but losing this big to a non SEC team was just too much and she is moving to Manhattan, KS where the average size meat fluit is no less then 13 inches.

QB Nick Marshall, who at one point in the game was so terrified of Defensive Tackle Terrell Clinkscales, that he actually wet himself and then handed big Clinks the football and got out of the way so the Wildcat could make an easy touchdown for the K-State defense. Marshall actually started blocking for Clinkscales, hitting some of his own teammates in the process for the 6 points. When asked why he would do such a thing, Marshall stated "I wanted to go to KState. I really did. Then when that damn Jakes Waters verbally agreed to go there, I know I couldn't compete, so I had to settle for Alabama's bitch, the Auburn Tiger -War Eagle school. I deeply regret that, and I can only hope Coach Mahlzan will return my beloved posters and get me a fresh pair of underwear."

In other breaking news, Marshall drops from #5 to #6 in the polls despite the loss by almost 50 points and Kstate drops out of the 25 since ESPN and all the rest of the liberal hates anyone that beats an SEC team. Please see page 12 for the rest of the story

would have been ok if you would have left every period out or just ended the entire thing with a single period

[AU1862]

AUBURN MASTERS KANSAS STATE
       Beats Wildcats Like Runaway Slaves

[Kat Kid]

AUBURN MASTERS KANSAS STATE
       Beats Wildcats Like Runaway Slaves

Sir.  That is racist.  Sir.  Please leave.

[HELLHAMMER]

No idea where to put this.  Don't know if it's been posted yet and don't care.  The entire state of Alabama can go eff itself.

[AU_Tigers]

AUBURN MASTERS KANSAS STATE
       Beats Wildcats Like Runaway Slaves

Sir.  That is racist.  Sir.  Please leave.

According to spracne this is satire and therefore is perfectly acceptable.

[Katpappy]

AUBURN MASTERS KANSAS STATE
       Beats Wildcats Like Runaway Slaves

Sir.  That is racist.  Sir.  Please leave.

According to spracne this is satire and therefore is perfectly acceptable.

but, but, he's a squawk!  See KU football is Hurting thread for more info.

[Frank martin is a douche]

SOUTHERNPLAYALISTICADDILACMUZIK
Was the title of an Outkast album. Cats win.

Hey Benja could you please stop posting dumb crap in this awesome thread? Thanks

[Frank martin is a douche]

Snyder Calls It Quits!!

Sources: Adrian Peterson Not Suspect In Thursday Night A** Whooping Case

[Katpappy]

Snyder Calls It Quits!!

Sources: Adrian Peterson Not Suspect In Thursday Night A** Whooping Case

Hey Frank Marin's douche, go see the sense of humor doctor.

[AU_Tigers]

Snyder Calls It Quits!!

Sources: Adrian Peterson Not Suspect In Thursday Night A** Whooping Case

Hey Frank Marin's douche, go see the sense of humor doctor.

Actually that is kind of funny.

[WarDamnPlainsmen]

No idea where to put this.  Don't know if it's been posted yet and don't care.  The entire state of Alabama can go eff itself.

What makes you more butthurt? The fact that AU beat out KSU for a recruit? or the fact that y'all don't have an alumnus that can afford a $180,000 player to ensure a MNC?

[Bqqkie Pimp]

No idea where to put this.  Don't know if it's been posted yet and don't care.  The entire state of Alabama can go eff itself.

What makes you more butthurt? The fact that AU beat out out bid KSU for a recruit? or the fact that y'all don't have an alumnus that can afford a $180,000 player to ensure a MNC?

FYP

[jmlynch1]

No idea where to put this.  Don't know if it's been posted yet and don't care.  The entire state of Alabama can go eff itself.

What makes you more butthurt? The fact that AU beat out KSU for a recruit? or the fact that y'all don't have an alumnus that can afford a $180,000 player to ensure a MNC?

probably more the fact that our ad won't let our studs buy some highly discounted polos

[PoetWarrior]

?????? ????? ?????* o??, ???.

[Katpappy]

?????? ????? ?????* o??, ???.

Hey, what's up?  I clicked on all the ? marks and nothing... I'm telling ya, nothing!

[nicname]

AUBURNT!!!

Kansas State senior wide receiver Tyler Lockett runs past Auburn defender on 94-yard punt return in Wildcats' 38-24 win Thursday night.

Lockett, Cats smoke Tigers

'Cept that is supposed to be an Auburn dude.

[Trim]

AUBURNT!!!

Kansas State senior wide receiver Tyler Lockett runs past Auburn defender on 94-yard punt return in Wildcats' 38-24 win Thursday night.

Lockett, Cats smoke Tigers

'Cept that is supposed to be an Auburn dude.

LOL @john_currie.

[nicname]

AUBURNT!!!

Kansas State senior wide receiver Tyler Lockett runs past Auburn defender on 94-yard punt return in Wildcats' 38-24 win Thursday night.

Lockett, Cats smoke Tigers

'Cept that is supposed to be an Auburn dude.

LOL @john_currie.

Is that Currie? Can't tell for sure.

[opticalcarrier]

?????? ????? ?????* o??, ???.

I clicked on those and my virus blocker spazzed out

[Benja]

SOUTHERNPLAYALISTICADDILACMUZIK
Was the title of an Outkast album. Cats win.

Hey Benja could you please stop posting dumb crap in this awesome thread? Thanks

War Don Cheadle?

[WarDamnPlainsmen]

AUBURN THRASHES TCU, EXPOSES BIG 12 AS IRRELEPHANT

[slobber]

WAR'S NOT LEGAL


Gonna win 'em all!

[CNS]

NORTHERN EXPOSURE

Auburn smashed by KSU. exposed as huge frauds and losery dumbasses at football.

[MadCat]

WAR'S NOT LEGAL


Gonna win 'em all!

I think it is if Congress votes for it.

[KCcat]

Awww... BURN!!!

Tiger's undefeated season still on track after Mahlzan refuses to field team after he realizes it was Kansas State and not perineal door mat Kansas that was scheduled. "In today's football landscape you cannot afford a loss if you want to make the playoffs" said Mahlzan. Auburn moved into first in the polls after they forfeit while K-State drops out. Legendary Future Hall of Fame Head Coach LHC Bill Snyder said "By-in-large our youngsters have improved each day and we will continue to take the season one game at a time. It is comforting to know we have a little extra time to prepare for an even more athletic team in UTEP."