MARSHALL OUTMANNED AND MAHLZAN GETS SH!@CANNED!
After losing the game 55-13 on Thursday 09/16/2014, former Auburn headcoach, Gus Mahlzan, was released from his duties at Auburn University and told that his belongings were already packed up from his office at the university. His wife stated she was filing for divorce as she could put up with Gus having a micropenis and never sexually satisfying her, she didn't even mind the fact that he wore her clothes and had uncensored Justin Beiber posters all of their bedroom walls, but losing this big to a non SEC team was just too much and she is moving to Manhattan, KS where the average size meat fluit is no less then 13 inches.
QB Nick Marshall, who at one point in the game was so terrified of Defensive Tackle Terrell Clinkscales, that he actually wet himself and then handed big Clinks the football and got out of the way so the Wildcat could make an easy touchdown for the K-State defense. Marshall actually started blocking for Clinkscales, hitting some of his own teammates in the process for the 6 points. When asked why he would do such a thing, Marshall stated "I wanted to go to KState. I really did. Then when that damn Jakes Waters verbally agreed to go there, I know I couldn't compete, so I had to settle for Alabama's bitch, the Auburn Tiger -War Eagle school. I deeply regret that, and I can only hope Coach Mahlzan will return my beloved posters and get me a fresh pair of underwear."
In other breaking news, Marshall drops from #5 to #6 in the polls despite the loss by almost 50 points and Kstate drops out of the 25 since ESPN and all the rest of the liberal hates anyone that beats an SEC team. Please see page 12 for the rest of the story
