Wildcats,
I was sure that Auburn stood a chance in this week's game until I came here, and realized the truth. Having grown up in Alabama without access to television, internet, books, indoor plumbing or dental care I had previously thought that Kansas was just a funny way of saying Arkansas, the place God sent Gus Malzahn from. I had no idea that Kansas existed, let alone the prestigious Kansas State football program. Why Jay Jacobs would send our boys to LHC Bill Snyder Family Football Stadium to be slaughtered is about as puzzling to me as abortion, or un-sweet tea.
My sister and I were planning on attending this Thursday night with our fourteen children, but our horse is sick and apparently this ankle bracelet they gave me will shoot electricity through my body if I cross the state line

. Don't let other "Auburn" fans fool you, we're about as scared of Jake Waters as we are of having to read in public. Barring the results of the 57 pending investigations on our program being released, and the subsequent death penalty being imposed upon our program, I'm afraid that we are actually going to play ya'll on Thursday night, and when that happens we might never recover, especially our ear-drums.
Signed,
A REAL Auburn fan