CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos

[Cartierfor3]

How much does a hipster weigh?


















A instagram!

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
 

Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality.


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A guy is sitting at a bar alone and he hears some whispers "Nice shirt." "I like your haircut." "You have nice eyes."
He looks all around and there is no one around him. A minute later the bartender walks over so the guy says, "Do you hear those whispers?"


The bartender says, "It's the nuts. They're complimentary."

[Cartierfor3]

I can't find my other taco clip art. Dead link. 

[Cartierfor3]

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!”

Theres this guy hosting a big costume party in his swanky uptown apartment one evening when he notices one of his guests has arrived wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans.  The host walks up to the man to inquire what the guest is supposed to be. 
"Oh, i'm a premature ejaculation." Replies the guest.
Puzzled, the man probes further "Huh, well then why did you arrive not wearing a shirt or even any shoes, for God's sake?"
"I just came in my pants."

Gross.

What the fundamental difference between the American Chemical Society and the Teamsters?

How they pronounce "unionized"

knock knock

who's there

to

to who

no, to whom

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

I will taco these today fellas

Liar! Mods need to shame themselves immediately.

[HerrSonntag]

Theres this guy hosting a big costume party in his swanky uptown apartment one evening when he notices one of his guests has arrived wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans.  The host walks up to the man to inquire what the guest is supposed to be. 
"Oh, i'm a premature ejaculation." Replies the guest.
Puzzled, the man probes further "Huh, well then why did you arrive not wearing a shirt or even any shoes, for God's sake?"
"I just came in my pants."

Gross.

i.e - he just showed up wearing pants, double entendre, oh nevermind

[Spracne]

Theres this guy hosting a big costume party in his swanky uptown apartment one evening when he notices one of his guests has arrived wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans.  The host walks up to the man to inquire what the guest is supposed to be. 
"Oh, i'm a premature ejaculation." Replies the guest.
Puzzled, the man probes further "Huh, well then why did you arrive not wearing a shirt or even any shoes, for God's sake?"
"I just came in my pants."

Gross.

i.e - he just showed up wearing pants, double entendre, oh nevermind

I liked it but oh lawd good god don't question the tacos!

[mocat]

guy posts a photo of 3 teenage girls with no clothes on, and cartier gives him 4 tacos. unconscionable

[kslim]

i cant see the tacos, this saddens me

[Cartierfor3]

guy posts a photo of 3 teenage girls with no clothes on, and cartier gives him 4 tacos. unconscionable

mocat I'm off my BBS game all around.

[Spracne]

i cant see the tacos, this saddens me

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt

[kslim]

i cant see the tacos, this saddens me

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTD_lv7jQa7MLF57EXeeQ-frUDPMYNu3F-X99VoCjcW1OXDOYVt

as current record holder of 72 tacos ill allow this link

[star seed 7]

Herr's was 4, bp's email forward was a 1

[Mrs. Gooch]

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman.

[Mrs. Gooch]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?… He’s 0K now.

[sunny_cat]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?… He’s 0K now.

[Mrs. Gooch]

A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage…. The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”

[ednksu]

eff jokes that make you think Mrs. Gooch 

[Mrs. Gooch]

There are two types of people in this world:… Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

[Mrs. Gooch]

Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings… Pavlov gasps, “Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dogs.”

[mocat]

Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings… Pavlov gasps, “Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dogs.”

oh wow

[Mrs. Gooch]

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. … After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, “You fellas ought to know your limits.”

[steve dave]

mrs gooch is good at jokes

[Mrs. Gooch]

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

[The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep]

really enjoying these math jokes 

[Mrs. Gooch]

Yo mamma is so fat, the probability of her being an arbitrary point in a room is 1.

[Mrs. Gooch]

Your momma is so mean… she has no standard deviation.