CF3 judges your jokes on a scale of 0 to 5 tacos

[puniraptor]

a baby seal walked into the club

[Cartierfor3]

Why don't crabs give to charity?





Because they are shelfish.

what's brown and sticky?


































a stick

where does a general keep his armies?                   

in his sleevies

CF3, J-Dub, and Wacky all go to a Royals game, on the way home a semi hits them and they die. They all get up to heaven and meet St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter said "Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don't step on a duck." The gates open and there are ducks everywhere, all over the floor, on tabletops, everywhere. CF3 walks in and accidentally steps on a duck. St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the ugliest woman in all the world and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed for all eternity." J-Dub and Wacky see this and do their best to avoid the ducks. J-Dub goes months and months without stepping on any duck. Then one morning he wakes up and as he is getting out of bed he steps on two ducks. St. Peter comes over and handcuffs him to the most atrocious looking and smelling woman and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Now Wacky goes years and years and doesn't step on any ducks in all that time. Then one day St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the most beautiful woman he as ever seen. St. Peter says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Wacky happily says, "Oh my God, what have I done to deserve this?!" And the woman says, "I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."

Also going for some irony tacos here as Wacky is probably a solid 8 IRL.

You were an Alex Smith zing away from 5 of these bad boys

A pirate walks into a bar.
He has the ship's steering wheel hanging from his pants.
The bartender is puzzled, and says, "Do you know that you have a steering wheel hanging from your pants, Sir?"
The pirate says,........









 "ARGH - It's driving me nuts!"





(luked? IDGAF)

Luked.

a baby seal walked into the club

[Dr Rick Daris]

you guys- think of it like cf3 is actually handing out real life honest to goodness tacos. should someone that tells a horrible joke get a free taco? i would say no or else what would keep someone from just telling five horrible jokes every morning and then having a free lunch. nothing would is the answer. you tell a bad joke, you get nothing. nothing.

[Mrs. Gooch]

Why don't crabs give to charity?





Because they are shelfish.

what's brown and sticky?


































a stick

where does a general keep his armies?                   

in his sleevies

CF3, J-Dub, and Wacky all go to a Royals game, on the way home a semi hits them and they die. They all get up to heaven and meet St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter said "Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don't step on a duck." The gates open and there are ducks everywhere, all over the floor, on tabletops, everywhere. CF3 walks in and accidentally steps on a duck. St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the ugliest woman in all the world and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed for all eternity." J-Dub and Wacky see this and do their best to avoid the ducks. J-Dub goes months and months without stepping on any duck. Then one morning he wakes up and as he is getting out of bed he steps on two ducks. St. Peter comes over and handcuffs him to the most atrocious looking and smelling woman and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Now Wacky goes years and years and doesn't step on any ducks in all that time. Then one day St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the most beautiful woman he as ever seen. St. Peter says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Wacky happily says, "Oh my God, what have I done to deserve this?!" And the woman says, "I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."

Also going for some irony tacos here as Wacky is probably a solid 8 IRL.

You were an Alex Smith zing away from 5 of these bad boys

A pirate walks into a bar.
He has the ship's steering wheel hanging from his pants.
The bartender is puzzled, and says, "Do you know that you have a steering wheel hanging from your pants, Sir?"
The pirate says,........









 "ARGH - It's driving me nuts!"





(luked? IDGAF)

Luked.

a baby seal walked into the club

This confirms my logarithmic scale theory.

The general one was only slightly more funny than my crab joke. But the one about Wacky being ugly was much more funny than the general one.

[Asteriskhead]

Likert scale, blumps? What is this, a research methods course?

[puniraptor]

i think you are probably just grumpy from all this debate and it caused you to under taco my jokes.

[Cartierfor3]

i think you are probably just grumpy from all this debate and it caused you to under taco my jokes.

I'm the most unbiased Taco'r in the world bro

[puniraptor]

i think you are probably just grumpy from all this debate and it caused you to under taco my jokes.

I'm the most unbiased Taco'r in the world bro

sleevies

come on

sleevies

[420seriouscat69]

CF3, J-Dub, and Wacky all go to a Royals game, on the way home a semi hits them and they die. They all get up to heaven and meet St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter said "Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don't step on a duck." The gates open and there are ducks everywhere, all over the floor, on tabletops, everywhere. CF3 walks in and accidentally steps on a duck. St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the ugliest woman in all the world and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed for all eternity." J-Dub and Wacky see this and do their best to avoid the ducks. J-Dub goes months and months without stepping on any duck. Then one morning he wakes up and as he is getting out of bed he steps on two ducks. St. Peter comes over and handcuffs him to the most atrocious looking and smelling woman and says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Now Wacky goes years and years and doesn't step on any ducks in all that time. Then one day St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the most beautiful woman he as ever seen. St. Peter says, "Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity." Wacky happily says, "Oh my God, what have I done to deserve this?!" And the woman says, "I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."

Also going for some irony tacos here as Wacky is probably a solid 8 IRL.

[puniraptor]

[Cartierfor3]

[KSUblumpkin]

I slept on it and had a dream about zero tacos.  It then clicked for me.  I wasn't putting faith in the CF3 taco scale, but now I am all in. 

[kslim]

you guys- think of it like cf3 is actually handing out real life honest to goodness tacos. should someone that tells a horrible joke get a free taco? i would say no or else what would keep someone from just telling five horrible jokes every morning and then having a free lunch. nothing would is the answer. you tell a bad joke, you get nothing. nothing.

id be a really full hombre

[Emo EMAW]

Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day.
Sid asks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico ?"
Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."

When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"
The waiter says, "I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.
 
" He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says,
"No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews."
 
Abe isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?"
The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "Gringos" replies,
"I check once again, senor," and goes back into the kitchen.
 
While the waiter is away, Sid says,
"I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico ..
Our people are scattered everywhere."
 
The waiter returns and says,
"Senor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews."
 
"Are you certain?" Abe asks again. "I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"
 
"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter.
"All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Apple Jews,
 but no Mexican Jews."

[kslim]

boooooooooo

[Pete]

I have a joke to tell CF3 in person, which requires physical presence.  I will have him post the tacos here.  STAY TUNED!

[Brock Landers]

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning!!

[Stevesie60]

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian or Spanish, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

[Cartierfor3]

Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day.
Sid asks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico ?"
Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."

When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"
The waiter says, "I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.
 
" He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says,
"No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews."
 
Abe isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?"
The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "Gringos" replies,
"I check once again, senor," and goes back into the kitchen.
 
While the waiter is away, Sid says,
"I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico ..
Our people are scattered everywhere."
 
The waiter returns and says,
"Senor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews."
 
"Are you certain?" Abe asks again. "I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"
 
"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter.
"All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Apple Jews,
 but no Mexican Jews."

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning!!

Dwayne the bathtub I'm Dwowning and Orange you glad I didn't say banana are so old man.

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian or Spanish, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

[Cartierfor3]

I have a joke to tell CF3 in person, which requires physical presence.  I will have him post the tacos here.  STAY TUNED!

 

[Brock Landers]

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning!!

Dwayne the bathtub I'm Dwowning and Orange you glad I didn't say banana are so old man.

My grandfather's name is Dwayne and this is probably the first knock-knock joke he ever told me, so it will always be a 5 taco joke to me.

[Pete]

I have a joke to tell CF3 in person, which requires physical presence.  I will have him post the tacos here.  STAY TUNED!

 

False alarm, someone already told it earlier!

[slobber]

Military guy and his wife have a ton of kids together. Every time he gets a 3-day pass... Boom 39 weeks later they have another baby. Guys in his platoon give him all sorts of grief about this and he is really embarrassed by the number of kids they have. He comes up with a plan and the next time he is home on a 3-day he tells his wife, "the next time you have a baby, just leave word that you had sauerkraut or something like that. All of the guys are really giving me a hard time about all of our kids, so I don't want them to know the next time we have another."

So, 39 weeks later, our military dude comes into the base after a long day of doing whatever military guys do during the day and he has a message from his wife. The message says, "I had sauer kraut kraut kraut. Two with wieners and one without."


Gonna win 'em all!

[Cartierfor3]

Military guy and his wife have a ton of kids together. Every time he gets a 3-day pass... Boom 39 weeks later they have another baby. Guys in his platoon give him all sorts of grief about this and he is really embarrassed by the number of kids they have. He comes up with a plan and the next time he is home on a 3-day he tells his wife, "the next time you have a baby, just leave word that you had sauerkraut or something like that. All of the guys are really giving me a hard time about all of our kids, so I don't want them to know the next time we have another."

So, 39 weeks later, our military dude comes into the base after a long day of doing whatever military guys do during the day and he has a message from his wife. The message says, "I had sauer kraut kraut kraut. Two with wieners and one without."


Gonna win 'em all!

[slobber]

If you would have heard my mom tell that joke you would have given it 5 tacos. It was Momdobber's "go to " back in the day.


Gonna win 'em all!